


Glass Heart

by ShatteredGlassHouse



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Bullying, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Hate Sex, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Judge Louis, M/M, Rough Sex, Secret Relationship, Singer Harry, Singer Louis, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love, X-Factor - Freeform, judge harry, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2019-07-06 05:08:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 143,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15879183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShatteredGlassHouse/pseuds/ShatteredGlassHouse
Summary: Harry's biggest dream was to meet Louis Tomlison. Ever since he auditioned and won the X-Factor, Harry's been his biggest fan.  Meeting him at the Brits was his dream come true.Four years later, they are both judges for X-Factor and have a mutual hatred for each other.  They have history and it's only a matter of time before history repeats itself.





	1. The Brits

**Author's Note:**

> This is just an introduction and the next chapters will be much longer.

The noise was deafening.  The room was so crowded that Harry almost got knocked over by some girl rushing around the tables.

He couldn’t believe this was actually happening.  Here his was, nineteen and at the Brits, nominated for an award.  He couldn’t believe this was real. 

He had asked Gemma to come but she was visiting her boyfriend’s family.  And his mum had been called into work. 

It was fine though.  He’d been to London before.  He’d been to the O2 for a concert a few years ago.  But he couldn’t believe that he was here for himself.  That he was good enough to get nominated.  It’s only been just about a year since he got signed and it still didn’t feel real.

This was never his place.  He used to watch this on the telly at home and now he was here.  He just wished he had someone with him.

He sat down and smiled at his publicist who just smiled and looked down at her phone.  Even at an event, she was still working.

His eyes wandered around, trying to spot anyone he knew.  Even if he did, he knew he wouldn’t be brave enough to talk to them.

“Harry?”

He jumped and turned to his publicist, who was still typing on her phone. 

“Remember, you have the Breakfast show tomorrow, so you have to be downstairs at five.”

Harry nodded.  Another twist to his stomach.  He was already nervous about this night and then he had an interview tomorrow with Nick Grimshaw.  He’s only done a handful of interviews with the promotion of his album but his team wanted him to announce his upcoming tour tomorrow.  Things were moving faster than he expected.

“I’ll be ready.”

Emily nodded and finally looked up.  “Also, you don’t have to dress up but don’t wear jeans.”

Like his team let him pack jeans.

That was another thing too.  He didn’t have much control.  He was told where to be and what to wear.  He knew they were trying to build him up but he hoped that in a year or two he could have more of a say.  And the things they wanted him to do, he didn’t want to.

It wasn’t long before the show started and the air was electric.  He clapped for each winner and each performer. 

When Louis won for Album of the Year if he clapped louder than he had before Emily didn’t say anything. 

He was looking forward to Louis’ tour but his tour made that impossible.  He’s been on his third tour.  How he could a tour almost every year was beyond him.   He must be so tired.

He just hoped his team wouldn’t do that but he had to wait for this tour’s sales to determine if he would do it again.

Louis was still just as cheeky as he was on his X-Factor days.  He promised himself that at the afterparty Emily has gotten him in, if Louis was there, then he would talk to him.

Louis also won Male Solo Artist, his second one in four years.  Niall Horan also won one for a video he did for his new single.  The song was great, the video was… He didn’t know.  But he would never tell the singer that.  If he ever met him.

Before he knew it, they are leaving the O2.  He didn’t win but he’s going to say the cliché every nominee says: it was an honour to be considered.  And it really was.  He never thought he would be here.

When they got to the party, Emily pulled his aside. 

“Okay, Harry, enjoy yourself.  Remember, I’ll be here at five and be ready.  Don’t drink because I don’t want to deal with that mess.”

Harry nodded and smiled.  “I won’t.  I’ll be ready tomorrow.”

“That’s what I like to hear.  Go and enjoy yourself, Harry.  Don’t stay up too late.”  She hugged him and left.

Harry looked around.  He’s never been to a party before.   In school, he was never one to be invited to house parties.  Or even have friends.

He walked around, dodging people that he knew were important but he wasn’t drunk enough to approach them.  And he wouldn’t be drunk.  He had to get up at an ungodly hour.  But also, he wasn’t a drinker. 

He’s had alcohol before but not enough to even be tipsy.

He spotted Louis talking to Liam Payne.  Louis laughed but with all the noise, it was barely audible.  He wanted to go over but he didn’t want to talk to Liam too.  That was a good excuse to stay away.

He turned and collided with someone.

“I am so sorry,” he rushed out as the boy he ran into just laugh.

“No, it was my fault, mate.  Sorry.  Wasn’t looking where I was going.  You okay?”

Harry looked down and sighed in relief when he saw his suit was still clean.

“It’s fine.  I’m Harry,” he introduced himself as he held out his hand.

“Niall.  I’ve actually wanted to meet you.”

“Really?”  He furrowed his eyebrows.  He never talked to anyone of status, so this was a shock.

“Yeah, mate.  There hasn’t been much hype since Louis Tomlinson.”

“Oh, have you talked to him?”  He was curious but he wanted to act noncoherently.

“Not really.  Only at events like these.  Kind of don’t hang around the same group.”

“I really like your music,” he blurted out and mentally facepalmed.

Niall just laughed.  “Thanks, Mate.  Means a lot.  I also heard your album and to be honest, you deserved that award.  Lila is great but you are better.  Just look, she can’t be bothered to come and party.”

“Thanks.  But she is good.”

“Oh, shit,” Niall laughed.  “A few years in this industry and you’ll disagree.”

“Maybe.”  He shrugged.  He didn’t really think he would.  He didn’t like to hate people. He lived his life with people who hated him.  He never wanted to be the slights bit of what he lived.  Even if he disagreed with the win, he would never say it.

“Let’s get you a drink.”

Niall threw an arm around Harry’s shoulders and pulled him through the bodies.

“I really can’t, Niall” 

He was glad he had the excuse of an early morning and wouldn’t have to admit he didn’t drink.  It would save him the judging eyes he was sure Niall would give him.

“Why?”  Niall stopped, causing a man bumped into them.  “Sorry,” he said and received a glare in return. 

“Dick.”

Harry bit his lip to hide his smile.

“Why can’t you drink?”

“I have an early morning and publicist doesn’t want me to be hungover.”

“Ah.  Been there before.  What do you have?

“The Breakfast Show,” he supplied.

Niall nodded and clasped the younger boy’s shoulder.  “We’ve all been there before. Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

He now wished he had at least a drink to keep his hands busy.  They fell into an awkward silence.

Suddenly Niall cried out, scaring Harry.

“Ed!”  Niall waved for the other lad to come over.

“Hey mate.”  He shook the boy’s hand and looked at Harry.

“I’m Harry,” the boy offered, shaking Ed’s hand.

His heart was beating so fast that he thought it would give out soon. 

“You were great tonight.  Loved the song.”

“Thanks, Niall.  Congrats on your award.  Though I have to say, that music video was-”

“Ha!  Don’t worry, mate.  I agree.  Wasn’t my choice but hey, it won,” he smiled and lifted his drink in a mock cheer.

Harry didn’t feel so guilty that Niall didn’t like his own video.

“Hey, a bunch of us are going to a club nearby.  Want to come?”

“Yes!” Niall cried and lit up.  “Harry, want to come?”

Harry stared between the two boys and shook his head.  “I can’t.”

“That’s fine.  Maybe next time.  Come on.”  Ed nodded and clasped Niall’s shoulder.

Harry watched as the two walked away before Niall turned back.

“Wait.  Give me your number so we can talk.”

“Um.”  Was he serious?  He pulled his phone from his pocket and unlocked it.  Niall grabbed it before the boy could hand it to him.

Niall took out his phone and typed in his number.  “Here.  Now both have it.  I’ll text to later.”

“Uh?”  He grabbed his phone and watched as Niall walked away.

“It was nice meeting you, Harry.”

Harry blinked a couple of time before glancing at his phone with a new number.  He really couldn’t believe this night. The only question though was, would Niall text him?  He didn’t want to and seem desperate.  He was new, whereas Niall had two years on him.

He pocketed his phone and looked around.  The night was still early but he felt ready to leave.  With Niall gone, he felt alone which was stupid because he came here alone.

He walked around, smiling at some artists he recognized but no one came up to him.  He wondered if Niall would have talked to him if he didn’t bump into him.

He spotted Louis again but this time Liam wasn’t there.  Maybe this was his chance.  He was talking to Perrie of Little Mix, who was less intimidating than Liam.  This was probably his only chance.

He stood behind Perrie, waiting for them to be done.  He was tugging on his slacks.  He was really questioning what he was doing.  He didn’t think Louis would dismiss him.  He was always charming in his interviews but maybe that was just an act.

He was pulled from his thoughts when heard Louis laughed and hugged Perrie.

Slowly Harry walked to the man and introduce himself.

“Hi, I’m Harry.”

Louis smiled, the smile Harry always want to be the reason for. 

“I know.  I’m Louis.  You supposed to be a big thing.”

“Oh, not really,” he mumbled but Louis still smiled.

"'S all the media has been saying."

“Oh.  Um.”  all

“No need to be nervous.  I was the same at my first Brits.  You’ll get used to it.”

“That’s what I’ve been told.”

“And they’re right.  May not seem like it but next year it’ll be like a normal day.”

“If you’re sure,” Harry sighed.  He was still having a heart attack and Louis was acting so normal.  Well, he should.  He’s been doing this for three years.

“I am.”

“Um, hey, congratulations on your awards.  Your album was great.”

“You a fan?” he teased.

Harry blushed.  He was not about to confess that.  “I just listened to this one.  Was told it was good.  Was told to know my commotion.”

“Well, I’m glad it seems like I still got it,” Louis teased and Harry fights the smile threatening to grow.

“Well, by your twitter, you’re still growing.”

“Also, research?” Louis raises his eyebrows, smirking like he knows Harry is lying.

Harry shrugged, trying to act nonchalantly.  “That was just my own curiosity.”

Louis just stared before a smirk spread over his face.  “Want to get out of here?  I still want to talk to you but it’s too loud.”

He was having an out of body experience.  He nodded and looked around.  It seemed to be more crowded than earlier.

“I’m not trying anything.  I just want to get away from the crowd.”

Harry wanted to hug him.  He was what he showed in his interviews and he wanted to talk to  _him_.

“Sure.”

“I have a room here if you want to go up?”

“Sure.”  He wasn’t about to tell him he had one too.  He was sure he would be back in his room in time to rest until Emily came.

“Great.”  He grabbed Harry’s wrist and tugged him to the doors.  It was a small walk to the lift and luckily there wasn’t anyone inside.

Louis pressed the tenth floor and Harry had to bit his lip from saying he was on the same floor.

They were silent during the ride up.  Louis was on his phone until the lift dinged and the doors opened.  He followed Louis until they stopped at his room.  He then realized he was only four doors down from him.

Louis opened the door and let him in first.  It was your typical style room but nicer than any hotels Harry ever stayed in.

His heart was thundering in his chest.  He was alone with Louis Tomlinson.  A fantasy he’s had since Louis was on X-Factor.

“Do you want to want to watch anything?” Louis said as he came up behind him, pulling off his tie and jacket.

“Um, not really?” 

He felt to hot in his suit.  The room was too warm and he felt his hands getting damp.  He rubbed his hands on his slacks, hoping Louis didn’t see.

He could smell the alcohol on Louis as he walked closer but by Louis’ speech and movements, he could tell he wasn’t drunk.

“So,” Louis grinned as he sat on the edge of the bed, “how’s your first Brits been?”

“Um.  Fine.  Overwhelming.”

“You know, we’re alone-”

Harry shivered at the weight of Louis words.

“-You don’t have to give me the same answer.  No one can hear you.  My first time, I was scared shitless.  I had the X-Factor reputation to uphold.  Couldn’t fuck it up.  Almost backed out but Simon wouldn’t let it.”

“Well, I still say it’s overwhelming.  I would have liked to have someone here with me.”

Louis chuckled and smirked.  “How old are you?”

“Um, nineteen.”

“So innocent,” Louis mussed as Harry felt himself blush.  “I was on my own my first time and I was nineteen.” 

“You were on the X-Factor,” Harry argued.  “I was thrown in.”

“Fair enough,” the older man agreed.  “Sit.  You're making me uncomfortable by standing there.”  Louis patted the spot beside him and moved to the side.

Harry sat by Louis.  He could feel the heart from the man and he felt his hand itch to touch his hand.

“See, when you are alone, you get the real truth.”

“I probably shouldn’t even be saying this.  you could talk.”

“Nah.  We’re in the same situation.  I know what you are saying.  But, you’re right, you have to be careful who you talk to.

“Why are you being nice to me?  We just met.  Sorry,” he rushed out when he realized what he said.

Louis laughed loudly.  “No worries, love.  I like you.  You cut with how nervous you are.”

“’M not nervous.”

“You really need to learn how to lie better, Harry.”  Louis moved his hand to brush his hair back.  He tucked a curl behind his ear. 

Harry wanted to pull away.  It wasn’t that Louis’ touches were unwanted but this was all new and very real.

“Can I?”

Harry felt his breath hitch as Louis’ lips ghosted over his.  All he could do was nod before Louis lips pressed against his.

Louis’ hand moved to cup his cheek and he felt himself melt into the touch. 

He’s only had one kissed before and he later found out that the guy who kissed him—his crushed—only kissed for a bet.

After that day he never let anyone in.  No one knew.  It wasn’t like he had any mates to talk to.

Louis was so gentle and a dream come true.  Even if he wanted to push the singer away, he couldn’t.  He wanted this and even if was for tonight, it would be a memorable night.

He felt himself be pushed back.  Louis pulled back.  Harry squirmed at the intense look in Louis’ eyes.

“Can I?”

He felt the man play with his jacket, pushing one of the buttons through its hole.

“Yes,” he whispered, not sure if Louis heard him but by the way the singer was moving, he heard.

“Sit up,” he commanded.

Harry sat up and helped pull off his jacket and tie.  He dropped it on the ground as Louis pulled at his shirt buttons, carefully.

Louis moved to his and pulled off his shit.

Harry grabbed his hands.  Louis halted his movement.  His breath hitched as Harry reached his hand down his chest, tracing his tattoos.

He’s seen pictures of them, wishing to see them in person.  The pictures didn’t do them justice.  He wasn’t a huge tattoo person but Louis made them look hot.

He felt slacks tighten at the thought of running his tongue down his chest but he knew he couldn’t.

He reached for Louis slacks but was stopped.  “Not yet, love.”  He moved his head, sucking hard against his neck.  He moaned lowly and bit down in response.

“Please, Louis.”

Louis still was attacking his neck and he was sure Emily was going to kill him with the marks Louis was leaving.

He moaned loudly when he felt Louis grinding against him.

“Louis, please.”  He was sure he sounded desperate but he didn’t care.  This was his darkest fantasy and it was coming true.

The singer pulled back and smirked.  He helped Harry out of the rest of his clothes and now was laying naked under the man who stared in most of his fantasy.

“Beautiful.”  He felt Louis' eyes run over his body.  He fought the urge to cover himself.  No one has ever seen his body and this was a big deal.

Louis went over to his bed and pulled a condom and a bottle of lube.  He placed the condom and lube on the bed.  Harry’s eyes were so unfocused that he didn’t realize Louis was naked until he heard the cap open.

“Are you sure?” Louis asked.

His voice was so soft that Harry wanted to cry and the gentleness of his voice.  He shouldn’t be this emotional over someone being so nice.  Caring.

“I’m sure.”

Louis bent down, giving Harry a soft kiss before he pulled back.

“Tell me to stop if I hurt you.”

Harry wondered if Louis knew he’s never done anything before.  But he remembered that he only just met Louis.

Harry nodded and had to fight the urge to move away from Louis’ finger.  He wouldn’t lie and say he never fingered himself but this was different.  He was letting someone else touch him.  He was letting Louis touch him.

“Louis,” he moaned when Louis slipped a third finger.   “I’m close.”

“You’re gonna come, baby?”

“N-no,” he struggled.  Want you in me.”

“Fuck,” Louis breathed out and Harry smirked to himself.  He sounded so out f breath.  “You want that?”

“Yes.  Please.  I’m ready.”

“Okay.  I got you.”  He pulled his fingers, pulling a whine from Harry.  He tore the condom wrapper and rolled it on. 

Harry bit his lip to fight the moan when the tip of Louis’ cock brushed his hole.  This was really happening.

“Ready?”

Harry nodded, not trusting his voice to give away how nervous he was.  He never expected to shag Louis the first time he met the man and at Brits.

“Words, baby.  I need to hear you.”

Harry wanted to snap at him but all he did was gasp out a ‘yes’.

Harry hissed when Louis pushed in.  He clenched the sheets to keep still.  It wasn’t as painful as he thought it would be.  He moaned when Louis bottomed out.  It was so indented, more than his fingers.  He was too embarrassed to do anything but his finger.

“You can move.”  Harry’s voice was so shaky and by Louis’ breathing, he was struggling to stay still.

“Oh, thank God.  You’re so tight.”

Louis slowly began thrusting, picking up his pace with each thrust.

He moaned when Louis brushed his prostate.

“Lou-is-” his breath hitched as Louis hit his prostate

With the contestant pressure on his prostate, Louis was tipping him so close to the edge.

“Louis, I’m going to come,” he warned, wrapping his hand around his aching cock.  He bit his lip when his hand closed around his dick.

“Me too,” Louis gritted out.  “Do it, baby.”

With only a few tugs, he cried out as he came over his fist.  Louis followed soon after, dropping on Harry.

They laid there, trying to catching their breath.

“I’ll be back.’ 

“No,” Harry said, reaching for Louis.

The lad just smiled and kissed Harry gently.  “I need to clean you.”

Harry pouted as he dropped his hands.  Louis just chuckled and disappeared through the loo.

He returned a few moments later with a towel.  He cleaned Harry and took the towel back to the loo.

“You can stay here tonight,” Louis said as he slid under the blankets.

“Really?”

“Sure.  It’s kind of late and I’m tired.”

“Um.  Okay.  I have to be up early though.”

“That’s fine.  Just set an alarm.  Won’t bother me.”

Harry took his jacket an pulled his phone out to set an alarm before walking back to the bed.  He set the phone on the nightstand.

“Goodnight, Louis,” Harry said as he snuggled under the blankets.

“Night, Harry.”  And that was the last thing they said.

 

 

A loud ring rang through the room, waking Harry up. 

“Louis?”  He looked around the room and furrowed his brows when he saw Louis empty side and no bag. 

“Louis?” 

He looked down at his phone and cringed when he saw Emily’s name.

“Hello?”

“Where the hell are you?  You were supposed to downstairs five minutes ago.” She snapped and he felt his lip tremble.  Even out of school he still hated being yelled out.

“Sorry,” he rushed out.  “I guess I didn’t set my alarm.”

“It’s fine, Harry.  Just get down here in ten minutes.

“Ok… Ay,” he trailed off when the line went dead. 

He looked down at the end called but something else caught his attention.  He was tagged in a tweet from Louis.

He clicked and felt his stomach drop as he read.

Louis Tomlinson: @HarryStyles Better next time mate.

And then a screenshot of the results form his category.

“Oh.”


	2. Auditions Pt 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine.

He still couldn’t believe he was here.  He’s been to Liverpool before but never for something like this.  He didn’t want to believe that he’s here, at the Echo Arena as a judge.  He didn’t know if it was a good step that his team did.  He knew that if you were a judged on the X-Factor it did help.  Apparently.

 

He just didn’t know.  Sometimes judges got criticized harshly when people didn’t agree on their choices.

 

Still, he was still shocked.  Niall took him out to celebrate and he got drunk, not something he usually did but that night felt like the right time.

 

He was wandering around the back of the audition room, waiting for the crew to get him.  He didn’t see anyone but the crew and they were too busy to acknowledge him.  It didn’t matter.  He was too nervous to talk.

 

He knew the auditions were going to be long and intense but he was ready.  He saw the schedule and he was already regretting the lack of sleep he got.  He had been too nervous to sleep and had to have three cups of coffee.

 

Niall had texted him good luck as well as his mum and Gemma. It still didn’t help.  This was completely out of his element.  For a singer, it was pretty ironic that having so much focus on him unnerved him.  He could argue that a show that aired on telly; seen by millions was very different than singing in front of thousands.  He’s performed on the telly before but this was different.  Those shows were one night.   This was something new.

 

He was running a little late, well, he had five minutes before they started but he liked to be punctual.  And no one called him.  He bypassed Simon and took the seat next to him.  Sharon was already in her seat.  The seating arrangement had changed since last year.  Simon was the lesser than two evils.  He almost kissed the girl who told him.

 

“Where’s Louis?” Simon snapped, irritation clear in his voice. 

 

Harry was jostled from his thoughts.  He was so focused on avoiding the man that he completely forgot that Louis had to be here for the auditions to start.

 

“Sorry,” a voice called out.  “I’m here.”

 

Harry looked over to where Louis was pulling his chair out.  He looked like he was about to say something but stuttered when his eyes landed on Harry.  “I-I-I-”

 

Harry raised his eyebrows in challenge but before Louis could finish, Simon cut in.

 

“Lovely for you to join us, Louis.  If you stop socializing with Malik and do your job, maybe you’d be on time.”

 

Louis tore his gaze from Harry and glared at Simon.  It seemed like he was used to the attitude.

 

“I’m here, aren’t I?  Bother me when I’m actually late.”  He chanced a glance at Harry, who held his gaze, not giving a hint of emotion.  He promised himself when he heard Louis was returning that he wasn’t going to fall for the older lad’s charm.  It was just an act.

 

“Boys,” Sharon sighed.  “It’s only the first day.  Try not to fight.”

 

Harry still kept his stare to the background across the floor for the Contestants. 

 

As soon as the first person walked in, this was going to be real.  No turning back.  This was his job for the length of the competition.

 

“You’re ready, Harry?” Sharon asked, smiling sweetly.

 

He nodded and smiled.  “I am.  Bit nervous.”

 

“You’ll do fine.”  She patted his arm as he muttered a small ‘thanks’.

 

“Also, it’s okay if people hate you,” Louis chimed in, smirking like he knew he hit a nerve.

 

“Um?”

 

“He’s right, Harry.  It’s normal.  Don’t take it to heart.”

 

“Um… Thanks?”  He looked to Louis who was still smirking.  Clearly, he was still the same ass he met at the Brits and wasn’t about to change.  He glared at the man and fought the urge to be petulant and flip him off.

 

“Are we ready you start or do you still have to say something more, Louis?”

 

There was a paused before Harry heard a loud sigh.  “We can start.”

 

Not too long after the first boy walked through, looking nervous.

 

“Hi,” the boy said, looking at all the judges.  “I’m Nate.  Nice to meet you.”

 

“Nice to meet you,” Louis cheered as he took the audition.  “And where are you from?”

 

“I’m from Liverpool.  Born and raised,” the boy answered and Harry could tell he was nervous.  Who wouldn’t be?

 

So, a local boy.  Harry smiled at him.

 

“And how old are you?”

 

Harry could hear the smile in his voice and he wondered if it was genuine or the fake one he used to lure him in.

 

Knowing Louis, he wasn’t fake for anyone but Harry.

 

“I’m twenty-one.”

 

“And do you work?” Simon spoke up.

 

Nate turned to him, still smiling.  “I’m in school.  Studying finance.”

 

“Smart lad.  Never could do that myself,” Louis chuckled.  “And what are you going to sing?”

 

“Ed Sheeran’s Perfect.”

 

“Love that song.  Good luck, mate.”

 

The boy took a deep breath as the song began.  He really hoped the boy was good.  He seemed like a nice lad and Harry didn’t want to crush him.

 

He was a little shaky but was in key.  Harry didn’t try to hide his smile as Nate went on before he finished.

 

“Thank you,” Simon said and looked to the other. 

 

“That was good.,” Louis jumped in and received a smile from Nate.  “I’m going to say yes.”

 

Simon rolled his eyes.  “We aren’t supposed to vote yet but since Louis can’t seem to wait, we’ll just go ahead.”

 

Harry bit back a smirk at Simon reprimanding Louis.  Louis was just as sassy and cheeky as he was seven years ago, but now it was funny when someone gave it to Louis.

 

“Nicole,” Simon sighed, his irritation clear in his voice.

 

“It’s a yes for me, dear.”

 

“You were a little shaky,” Harry said, wanting to give the boy a warning.  “But I assume it was just the nervous.”

 

Nate nodded in agreement but not saying anything. 

 

“Just work on it but it’s a yes for me.”

 

Nate smiled so widely, wider than the one Harry got and he felt a little smug.

 

“It’s four yeses.” 

 

Nate tanked them and walked the way he came in.

 

“Let’s just hope the rest of the day is this good.”

 

“It’s the first audition, Louis,” Simon sighed.

 

“Like you’re not thinking the same thing.”

 

Simon didn’t say anything and let the next audition come in.

 

Harry wondered if last year was like this. From the bits he saw, Louis and Simon seemed to argue a lot.  He could see why. 

 

He didn’t know what Simon was really like.  Only what the camera showed but it was pretty clear that Simon wasn’t easy to work with.

 

They heard five more auditions; only two yeses and three nos.  Not the worst start.  And it slowly crawled like that.  After hearing about twenty more people, he felt like he was going to break.  He had to be honest when it came to rejections he still wasn’t as brutally honest as Louis or Simon.

 

“You can’t be kind when you are telling them ‘no’, Harry,” Simon snipped and Harry tried his hardest not to blush.

“I’m not.  I being honest without being harsh.” 

 

He didn’t know why he was getting attacked.  He was doing what Sharon was doing.  She was labelled the ‘nice one’.  She didn’t get Simon’s comments as often as he did.

 

But maybe it was because he was new and Sharon had been around for two years now.  She earned her spot and he was too new to be respected.  Also, he couldn’t hold his own like she could or Louis.

 

This was a mistake.  He should have listened to Niall when he tried to talk him out of it.  But he thought this would help his career.  Maybe more people would know him when the episodes aired.

 

That only thing he had to fight was the urge to back out when he heard Louis was returning.  He was now on his second year of his hiatus and he still lost to Louis when his album was up for awards during his first year off.  Stupid eligibility period.  Even when he was on a break his still beat Harry for Male Solo Artist and Album of the Year.

 

And he even won against him in the American awards.  What the fuck was happening?  If he was being honest, the British awards meant more to him.  He wanted his home country to like him enough to pick him as the winner.

 

He did win a few other British awards but everyone knew it was the Brits that really mattered.  And the sick joke was he only won when he wasn’t up against Louis.  Which showed that it was always Louis.  He only won because he was the only option.  He was never good enough to win against Louis.  And the award shows showed that.  He even lost against Liam and Niall once.  The latter didn’t sting as much

 

The only time he ever won against Louis was two years ago and for a fucking music video.  Of all awards.  He knew he should be happy.  He had finally got one up on Louis.  But it was kind of mocking that he was only good enough for a music video award.  Something he really didn’t have much say and didn’t reflect his work.

 

“Fine,” he relented.  Sharon and Louis stayed silent but he could tell Sharon wanted to say something.  He glanced to Louis who was looking anywhere but him.

 

Good.  He didn’t need his judgmental gaze.

 

“Simon,” Sharon decided to say.  “Leave the boy alone.”

 

He was aware of the cameras and he wondered if this scene would make the cut.

 

“This is his first year.”

 

“And not all of us are like you.”

 

Harry’s head snapped to Louis, squinting his eyes, studying the man.  Why was he suddenly being nice to him?  He hated him.  It was clear from the Tweets.  Even when Harry lost and Louis was on hiatus, he still managed to mock him.

 

The only reason he could come up with was Louis hated Simon that much to get a punch in.

 

It was never for him and that was why he hated Louis.  They say never met your heroes and while Louis wasn’t his hero, he idolized Louis—stupidly, only for it to tear him more.

 

He never thought the Louis from the interviews was just an act.  He never thought he would be like the bullies from school.  It was like he could never leave that life behind. 

 

He thought this was a new beginning but Louis made it just a different day and different setting.

 

He wasn’t going to let Louis in.  Never again and this was the perfect chance.  They would be fighting against each other to win.

 

He didn’t realize that Louis and Simon were still arguing before Louis just sighed angerly and said they had to continue with the auditions if they wanted to finish on time.

 

The next audition was a girl that looked a little older than Harry. 

 

She was tall and slender with wavy black hair with a shin of blue which meant it was dyed.

 

“Hi, love,” Louis spoke again.

 

Harry has yet to speak.  Every time he tried, someone would talk over him.

 

“Hi,” she smiled brightly at Louis.  He remembered he used to be like that around Louis.

 

“And what’s your name?”

 

“Samantha.”

 

“And how old are you?”

 

“I’m twenty-five.”

 

“And where are you from?”

 

“I’m from Wales but I live here for work.”

 

“And what do you do?” Sharon asked.

 

“I’m a youth worker.  I love kids.”

 

Harry brightened up at her answer.  He loved babies.  Even though he was only twenty-three, he already wanted children.

 

His mum teased him about being too old for his age.  He couldn’t help it.

 

“And why are you here?”

 

“Because I love to sing.  Which is probably everyone’s answer,” she joked, causing Louis to laugh.

 

“Honest.  Like that.  And what are you going to sing?

 

“Perfect by Pink.”

 

“Interesting choice.  Well, good luck.”

 

She gave a small ‘thanks’ before she started to sing.

 

She was impressive for having no music to back her up.  Even though it was still early and they had most of the day to get through, Harry could easily say she was the best. 

 

“Samantha,” Sharon smiled when she finished.  “That was gorgeous.  You are very talented my dear.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Thanks, Sharon,” Louis teased.  “Taking what I was going to say.  Anyway, that was brilliant.  That’s such a great rendition.”

 

“That’s actually one of my favourite songs and I just loved what you did with it.”

 

“Well, I feel what I say won’t matter.  Do were even have to vote?”

 

“I think we are all in an agreement.  You got four yeses,” Sharon smiled.

 

Samantha put her hand to her heart as if she wasn’t expecting the response she got.

 

“Oh my God.  Thank you.”

 

She then rushed out, probably to tell whomever she came with the good news.

 

The next guy was cringey.  He wasn’t in key and flat.  Harry wondered if they sent these people in here for views. 

 

He wasn’t very good and judging by Sharon’s face, she was trying hard not to laugh.

 

Simon raised his hand to cut him off.

 

“Thank you, Jeff,” Simon said as he dropped his hand.  “Okay, I’m going to make this quick.  That was dreadful.”

 

Jeff’s face dropped and Harry felt bad but it was better to be honest than to give the lad false hope.

 

“It wasn’t very good, dear,” Sharon said.

 

“Okay,” Simon said before Harry and Louis could get a chance, though their comments weren’t going to be much better.  “It’s a no.  Thank you for coming through.”

 

Jeff looked like he wanted to protest but thought better off it and left.

 

They listened to a few more before they got a break.   Harry wasted no time before leaving the room to call Niall.

 

“I can’t do it, Niall,” Harry rushed out when the other end picked up.

 

“Hello to you, too.  Was going to ask how the day’s going but you answered my question.”

 

“Don’t joke, Niall” he gritted out.  “I’m being serious.  What the hell was I thinking?”

 

“Didn’t I ask that when you took Simon’s offer?”

 

“I don’t need to be reminded, Niall.  I need help.”

 

“What can I do, Haz?”  There was shuffling on the other end and a loud ‘fuck’ from Niall.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Trying to move my table and ended dropping it on my foot.  The leg.  Not the table.”

 

“How are you doing that and talking to me?”  He furrowed his brows.  He would have appreciated Niall’s full attention.

 

“Speaker,” he replied simply, causing Harry to groan.

 

“Will you please stop and let me talk?  I don’t have long before I have to go back.”

 

He had his back to the wall in case Louis came down the hall.  He pulled his cross along the chain, giving him something to do.

 

“Okay.  Shit man.  If your gonna be a right tit, quit.  But it’s only been half a day.”

 

“I know that,” he snapped.  Slowly he was learning how stupid he was to listen to his team and accept Simon’s offer.  Niall was right: it’s only been half a day but he never dealt with Louis face-to-face.

 

“Well, if you can’t deal with it after only a few hours, quit.”

 

“You know I can’t do that.”

 

As tempting as it sounded, he would never survive if he dipped out so soon.  He could have fought.  He was inching to four years and had more say, but they pressured Harry to take the contract.  Saying it would help people know who he was.

 

The stupid part of him agreed because he wanted to do anything to get him out of Louis Tomlinson’s shadow.

 

“Then what do you want?”

 

Harry fell against the wall and groaned. “I don’t know.  I know we talked about it when I first signed.  I just don’t know.”

 

“Do you want me to come when you’re in London?”

 

Harry thought about that for a moment.  It was tempting.  Having someone there to support him.  But it wouldn’t work.

 

“No.  It’s fine.  I’ll be busy.  Won’t get to see you.”

 

“Doesn’t matter.  I can just hang out in the hotel and let you bitch at the end of the day.”

 

Harry smiled.  He still couldn’t believe that Niall texted him the day after the Brits and are still good mates to this day.  He sometimes had to remind himself that Niall was his friend and wanted to do these things for him.

 

“If you want to.  I’m not forcing you.”

 

“I know you’re not.  So, how’s Tomlinson.  Still a right wanker?”

 

“Yes, but we haven’t talked much.  Between each audition, I’m mostly ignored.  It’s almost like they forget I’m there.  One contestant they didn’t even ask for my vote!”

“Oh. Wow.”

 

“Am I making too big of a deal out of this?   It’s only the first day.”

 

“Could be.  I don’t think they can ignore you.  It’s part of the show to have four judges.  And views might pick up if they show that they are ignoring you.”

 

“It’s really Simon. I shouldn’t be hurt.  Kinda knew what I was getting myself into.”

 

“If you’re sure,” Niall agreed but sound hesitant. 

 

“I am.  As you said: it’s only the first day.  Got to give it more time.”

 

He felt like he’d been chanting in his head and it wasn’t even one.

 

He always over thought everything since school.  Whenever someone was nice (rarely) or mean he blamed himself.  Like right now.  Even though it was still early, he was wondering what he did.

 

“After we meet in London, then you can bang on with how I was right and you should have listened to me.”

 

Harry jumped when Niall's voice cracked loudly through the phone.  He really needed to stop spacing out.

 

“Remind me why I still talk to you.”

 

“Because I’m the only one who lets you bitch and whine.”

 

He was glad that Niall didn’t say the actual reason.  He didn’t like to face the fact that Niall was really his only friend.

 

“How’s the lonely life going?” he asked, changing the subject.

 

“Great!  Nice to finally be able to relax for once and in one place too.”

 

“Don’t remind me.  Now I wished I took this year off.  I really don’t know how Louis did it.”

 

“No idea.  Probably why he’s taking two years off.”

 

“He’s still here,” he countered.  “I’m exhausted already.”

 

Someone called Harry’s name and turned to see a crew member wave him over.

 

“Shit.  I got to go back.”

 

“Be strong, Harry.  Don’t let Simon or Louis push you around.”

 

“Thanks, Ni.  Talk to you later.”

 

He hung up and rushed back to the room.  Louis was the only one missing.

 

“Is he always late?”  He turned to Sharon, who was more approachable.

 

“Not really.  He’s usually the first one here.”

 

Suddenly, Louis came rushing in.  He met Harry’s eyes and smirked like he was judging him.

 

The younger man just rolled eye roll.  He wasn’t going to let him think the past few years weren’t relevant anymore.  That this was a new start.  Until Louis talked to him, he wasn’t having any of his shit.

 

Because of Louis, the media had stirred up this rivalry between them and if Louis was going to play, he would too.

 

“Please don’t make a habit of this, Louis,” Simon bit out.

 

“It’s only the first day, Simon,” Louis snapped as he sat in the chair.

 

“And you’re been late twice.”

 

“Can we please start.  We are running late,” Sharon sighed.  “And it would be nice to leave on time.”

 

This time, Harry was glad he was left out.

 

“Fine.  Who’s next?”  Louis asked.

 

A crew member led a group in.  The first group of the day.  To be fair, it was only halfway through the day. 

 

“Hi lads,” Harry jumped in before anyone could and by Simon’s silence, it was fine.

 

“Hi,” one of the boys answered.  He wasn’t tall and looked young but then again, he was teased for looking younger than he was.

 

“And what are your names?”

 

“Well, we’re Equals Three.  But I’m Eric,” the guy who was talking said.

 

“I’m Garrett,” the man by Eric said.

 

“And I’m Chase.”

 

“Lovely to meet you.  And how long have you been together?”

 

“We were neighbours growing up and started to sing together only three years ago.

 

“Impressive,” Louis chimed in and Harry had to bit his lip to keep his smile, very aware of the cameras around.  He didn’t want to be caught rolling his eyes or scoffing and having it make the episode.  “Don’t think I could ever do that.  And what will you be singing?”

 

“Girl On Fire by Alicia Keys.”

 

“Okay, good luck, lads.”

 

It wasn’t hard to fake a smile. The boys were good.  A little off at times but Harry figured with some help, they could be great.

 

“The harmonizing was good,” Louis praised and Harry had to agree.  For a band only being around for three years, they already knew how to work together.

 

“Louis’ right.  You were a little off a couple of times but if feel like with some help you’d be great.”

 

“You three are adorable,” Sharon gushed and for a second Harry forgot about her.  He was too caught up with how he and Louis were agreeing. It wouldn’t last long though.

 

Simon ended up agreeing with Harry but the group got four yeses and the day continued.

 

And he was right when he knew Louis and he wasn’t going to agree on anything when one was in a disagreement.

 

If Harry liked someone, it seemed like Louis just wanted to argue.  If Louis liked someone, Harry wasn’t childish to argue if the person wasn’t good.  But they did argue.  Since Simon didn’t say much, it either wasn’t too bad or it made for good telly.

 

Fans would love watching the feud that only happened through social media translate to real life.  They avoided each other at award shows and only sent Tweets.  Well, Louis did.  Harry never responded which made him wonder how the feud started.  It was so one-sided but he knew the media loved to spin things and this was perfect bait.

 

Two fabricated enemies having to work together and compete against each other made for articles.  Well, the enemies part really wasn’t fabricated, from what the articles said.  They did hate each other.  But Louis hated him for something Harry didn’t even know.  The singer was at the top, while Harry was hidden by him.  So why did he hate him?

 

Harry didn’t like Louis because of all the taunting and bullying.  Louis didn’t realize his ‘jokes’ only led to a bunch of humiliation from his family.  Every time Louis Tweeted him, his fans would back him up and say he would never be like Louis.

 

His own fans praised him and said they were still proud of Harry but it was hard to ignore the hate when the man himself was leading it.

 

So, yes.  Harry hated Louis but he never showed it on social media and maybe that was the problem.  Whether if he ignored the fights or commented on them, it apparently meant they were enemies.  They thought he was too good to react or whatever they thought.

 

They were near the end of the day and he was in a fight with Louis over a group.  Louis and Simon said ‘yes’ but Sharon was a ‘no’.  And now they were trying to persuade his answer.

 

He hated when the show did that and argued in from of contestant, getting their hopes up and then crushing them.

 

Fuck, Louis.

 

“Look, you were good.  But I-”

 

“Give them a chance, Harry.”

 

Harry finally broke and glared at the man.  He was going to be complaining to Niall tonight.  And there was almost a hundred percent sure this would make the show.  An argument with the judges was just as good as a difficult audition.  It was gold.

 

“Will you please let me finish, Louis,” he snapped his name, causing Louis to roll his eyes.

The girls shifted, nervously.  From what Harry was saying, they knew the answer.

 

“As I was saying,” he started again.  “I think you were great.  But I have to agree with Sharon, I don’t think you’re ready right now.”

 

“Like you were any better when you started.”  Harry heard Louis mutter.  He almost made it through the day without hearing Louis’ hurtful words in person.

 

He felt his heart stop for a moment.  He didn’t look anywhere but the girls.  He smiled as brightly as he could manage.

 

“I’ll give you a chance, girls.  Please make the best of this.”

 

The girls squealed and thanked each judge before leaving.  He now was certain this would make the show.  Also, Louis’ fans would probably agree.  And the fans of the show would say Harry didn’t belong there.

 

Why was he here?

 

They wrapped the day with four yeses and a handful of noses.

 

Overall, it was a successful first day.  Not for Harry though.

 

 

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

 

 

He made it to his hotel room and collapsed on the bed.  He was hungry but wasn’t willing to move.  Maybe he’d order room service.

 

He grabbed the pillow and hugged it.  He wasn’t about to leave his room with the risk of running into Louis.  But he figured he was with Zayn. 

 

His mobile vibrated beside him but he didn’t react.  He knew it was Niall.  It would have been nice to have a quiet night but Niall wanted to know how he was and the gossip before the show aired.

 

He sighed and grabbed the mobile, still pressed against the pillow.

 

“I fucked up, Niall,” he said in lieu of a ‘hello’

 

“Still the same as this morning,” the boy laughed at his own joke.

 

“Not funny, Niall.”

 

“Well, if you’re going to be like this, break the contract,” Niall snide.

 

“I can’t.  People already think I am too young for this.  Even though I’m only two years younger than Louis when he first started.”

 

“Then prove them wrong.”

 

“And how?  By winning?  It’s only the first day”

 

“What happened, Harry?  You’re not talking.  I can hear your tone.”

 

Harry sighed and pressed his face into the pillow before turning his head back.  “He humiliated me.”  That was the best he could say.  What could he say?  That’s really what Louis did.  And with Simon and Sharon present.

 

It really wasn’t a big deal, until the show aired and the nation saw.

 

Louis couldn’t do any wrong.  He was an X-Factor product.  He was a success story and having him as a judge was an honour.

 

“What did he do this time?” he chuckled.

 

“Please be serious, Niall.  I knew he was going to be like this, but on the first day?”

 

Honestly, how Niall hasn’t clocked him right now was a miracle.  He’s twenty-three; he needed to grow up. 

 

“We established that Louis is a dick.  So, what really happened.”

 

He felt his face heat up.  If this was how he was telling Niall, he was sure he was going to die when it was aired.

 

If anyone had said it, Harry could have just brushed it off.  But Louis had a way of digging his words into him and making them stick.

 

“We were arguing over this group.  Simon and Louis said yes.  Sharon said no and I was speaking before Louis cut me off.  Trying to get me to say yes.   I said that the girls needed more work and then Louis said like I was any better…”  He trailed off.  He was sure he was overacting but whenever someone criticized his work openly, he was sent back to school.

 

“You know he was probably pissed that you had the decision and he wanted to hurt you.”

 

“Well, it worked.  He got his way.  Like in school.  Pushed until I gave in.”

 

“Look, Harry.  I said this before and I’ll say it again, you should have won that Brit.   You were great.  And Louis was just pissed that it was you who he had to convince you and that’s the only way he knows.”

 

“Yeah.  Maybe.  I swear if he wasn’t for them, he would have been going on about them.”

 

Niall laughed loudly as he dropped his phone.  He heard a muffled curse before Niall was talking again.

 

“Sorry.  Sorry.  That was actually funny.  Can’t wait to see the episode then.”

 

“Wasn’t that funny,” he muttered.  “And then watch Louis taunt me?”

 

“Okay, not that.   But seeing Louis with girls has to be funny.”

 

“It’s not.  He’s so sure of himself.  It was like nothing.”

 

“Still,” Niall said.  “When you know, it’s funny.”

 

“The whole bloody world knows Louis is gay.”

 

He would know.  His heart had drooped when he heard.  He wanted to be that brave but he was not about to come out in school.

 

“You’re right.  Still.”

 

“Do you just find everything funny?”

 

“Pretty much.  Hey, I have to go but call me tomorrow and hopefully, Louis won’t be such a twat.”

 

“I will.  Have a good night.”

 

He pressed the ‘end’ button and dropped his hand defeat.  He realized that he wasn’t hungry and just wanted to go to bed.  He brushed his teeth and got changed.  He’d just make sure he had breakfast tomorrow. 

 

 

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

 

 

When Louis first saw Harry today, he had to do a doubletake.  He had felt his heart stop.  He didn’t realize that Harry was Nicole ’s replacement.

 

He should have listened when the judges' list came out but he kind of didn’t care.  He still had his spot and that’s all that mattered.  That and Zayn was returning.

 

He’d see pictures of Harry’s new look.  Tight jeans, floral shirts that revealed his tattoos and healed boots that probably would make Harry much taller than he was.  He hated when people were taller than he. 

 

Also, his stupid hair.  It still had its curl but was now just past his shoulders.  He wasn’t the nineteen-year-old he met all those years ago.

 

It was like after he went off for a break, Harry took his place.  But he felt comfortable that Harry won because he wasn’t there.  Also, his sales were still below what he had before going off.  It was sick but he liked it.  He didn’t want to be replaced.

 

“So, are we gonna talk about how Harry is now here?” Zayn asked as he placed his glass down.  They were down at the hotel bar and out to celebrate their first day.

 

He knew they had an early morning and couldn’t drink like he wanted to.  If Harry wasn’t here, he wouldn’t be this irritated.

 

They were never supposed to meet except for award shows.  Where they could avoid each other.  Where Louis didn’t have the man he openly mocked on the internet.

 

Only time will tell how Harry would treat him.  But he kind of picked that already by openly humiliating the boy.  Yet, he still couldn’t find it in him to reject it.  He wanted that girl group and he had to get Harry to say yes.  Though, he could have acted better than hinting that Harry sucked during his first year.

 

“Did you know? Louis asked as he stared down at the table.

 

“If I knew, I would have told you.  I know you two have that feud.  Or whatever the web is saying about it.”

 

“It’s so strange to see him in person.  I mean, this close.  I haven’t talked to him in four years and still haven’t.  We haven’t had the chance to. Well, we did, Harry just never talked to me.”

 

“I wonder why,” Zayn said sarcastically.  It was just as easy to get on Louis’ nerves as it was with Harry’s.  “From the rags, he’s doing that to make him look good.”

 

Louis agreed but something sat heavily in his stomach.  Maybe they were wrong and Harry was just that genuine.  But that was a thought Louis didn’t want to entertain.  It was just easier to say Harry was a dick and get on with it.

 

“Most likely.  I say it’s the act his team wants him to sell.  Not doing that good of a job.”

 

Zayn hummed as he picked up his glass.  “Liam’s team tried to do something like that.  Making this tough, blunt man.  It didn’t work and they scrapped it. Now they just let him be him but monitor what he can and cannot say.”

 

“Like everyone we know.”

 

“Exactly.  I know Liam likes it more than when he had to play a character.

 

“So how is Liam?  I tried to see him before he left for America but timing.”

 

“He’s good.  Talked to him.  He’ll be back in September.  Probably could visit here when we film.”

 

“I was going to ask him to be my guest but the timing doesn’t work.”

 

Zayn smiled and nodded.  “Yeah.  He told me.  I think he’s sad that he’s missing that more than me. So, thanks for that.”

 

“Can’t help if he likes me better.”

 

“Fuck you, Tomlinson.  Like you like Liam that much.”  He glanced at his watched and sighed.  “I guess we should get upstairs.  Early morning and I want to rest so I don’t get pissed at people wanting to hug me.”

 

Louis laughed and followed Zayn to the lift.  “Why did you become the host if you don’t want people to touch you?”

 

“I’m not drunk enough to admit.”

 

“Honestly.” Louis laughed as he walked into and pressed the button, “it’s not as bad as you are making it out to be.”

 

“Maybe.  But I’m still not drunk enough to say it.”

 

“It’s not like I don’t know it.  Just protecting your pride?” Louis teased as the doors opened.

 

Zayn rolled his eyes and took the keycard from his pocket. 

 

 

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

 

 

. Manchester wasn’t any different.  Different venue.  Different Contestants.  But the same routine.

 

They were here for two days like Liverpool.  He was looking forward to Edinburgh.  It was the last stop before London and then he could see Niall again.

 

After Surry, the show would really start.  Bootcamp would begin and then they would get their categories.  It’s been only three days but he didn’t know what group he wanted.  He knew he didn’t have a choice but he didn’t want the over 25s.  That was one category he felt like he couldn’t help with and hopefully, the producers thought so too.  Louis was the right age, though.

 

He was sat in his chair in the audition room and was nervous.  The wait was getting to him.

 

They had a two-day break before heading to Manchester and in that time, he didn’t see any of the judges.  It was as if they only saw each other during shooting times.  Which was fine. The less Louis, the better.

 

He was tugging on his shirt.  He only left two buttons opened but he felt like Louis was scrutinizing him on the last day in Liverpool.

 

He was slowly realizing that it was only Louis that made him nervous and question his clothes each day.  However, it was only the third day of auditions. But that was the thing.  Only three days and Louis was making him feel like that teenager with a crush, wanting to impress Louis.

 

He needed to stop talking to Niall.  He needed to forget Louis and just wear what made him happy.

 

He was tapping his foot when Louis and Sharon walked in.

 

“Simon should be happy,” Louis grumbled as he took a seat.  “I’m on time.  Can’t say shit.”

 

Sharon laughed and patted Louis’ arm. 

 

“He’ll find something to complain about.”

 

And she was right.  She and Louis got told off for laughing at a bad contestant and couldn’t stop until five minutes later.

 

He hasn’t felt the need to laugh or urge to.  He had watched previous series and yes, some of the auditions were funny but Harry never laughed.  Was something wrong with him?  Or was it because it was like making fun of the person?  He didn’t know.

 

He jumped when he heard his name being called.

 

“Oh, God,” he gasped and clutched his chest.  He smiled sheepishly at Sharon, while Louis laughed at him.  He fought the urge to flip him off.

 

Sharon chuckled and grabbed Harry’s arm.  “Sorry, darling.”

 

  “It’s fine.  Was in my own thoughts.”

 

He glanced to Louis who raised his eyebrows.  He dropped his head and looked at the woman.

 

“What did you ask?”

 

“Just how you’re doing.  Not ready to quit, are you?”  She smirked and Harry felt a little better to have someone not against him.

 

“I can’t; too much paperwork,” he joked with a shy smile.  “But no, I’m fine.  Bit overwhelming.”

 

“Can’t be too overwhelming compared to a concert,” Louis spoke up.

 

“Maybe for you.  But a concert and here are very different.  Here, you have to talk to everyone who comes in and either help or crush their dreams.  At a concert, you just put on a show.  Or did you already forget?”

 

Harry bit his lip to keep his face blank.  He didn’t mean to say that but by Louis’ shocked face, he couldn’t help the swoop of satisfaction that spread through him.  After four years he finally shocked Louis.  He had to tell Niall later.

 

Sharon laughed which encouraged Harry not to feel bad like he wanted to.

 

Louis was about to comment when Simon came and asked for the first hopeful. 

 

This day was starting off badly.  Though they were fourteen people in and they only were unanimous on one to go through and split on another.  This time Louis didn’t argue when Harry went against him, which was surprising.  He thought Louis would after the comment.  He was enjoying it while it lasted.  It was bound to change at any moment.

 

On their second break, Louis disappeared and Harry was certain that he was with Zayn.  He wasn’t sure how they became mates but by the last series, it was clear they knew each other before Louis joined the X-Factor.

 

He couldn’t deny that Zayn was good looking but he scared him.  He was too intimidating when he was with Louis and watching him be so calm around Zayn made him realize that Zayn was like Louis.  A total wanker.

 

He still didn’t get that the guy talking to the Contestants and comforting them or congratulating them was the same guy who was impossible to approach.

 

He still was avoiding Zayn, which he shouldn’t.  He was supposed to know the host as well as all the judges. 

 

He texted Niall on his first break, and the Irish nob has yet to reply.

 

“Harry,” Sharon called from around the corner.  “We need you.”

 

Harry glanced down at his watched and cursed.  “Sorry.  Sorry.  I’m coming.”

 

He rushed to the table and ignored Louis’ snide remarks.

 

“Look likes I’m not the one late this time.”

 

Simon huffed.  “Can we please start.  We have a lot of auditions to get through.”

 

“Sure, Simon,” Louis rolled his eyes and sat back in his chair.

 

A tall red-headed woman walked in, smiling.  “Hi.” 

 

Her grin was so big and she was too bubbly to be nervous.  Harry wished he had her confidence.

 

“Hello, dear,” Sharon smiled.  “And what’s your name?”

 

“Angie.”

 

“Lovely name.  And how old are you?”

 

“I’m Twenty-seven.”

 

“And what do you?”

 

“I’m a secretary at a law firm.”

 

“And what are you going to sing for us?”

 

“Cyndi Lauper’s Girls Just Want to Have Fun.  I always sing that song and brother said if I don’t audition with this that I’ve tortured him for nothing,” she joked and Harry smirked.  His mum had said something similar when he kept singing Louis’ song.

 

“Well, you brother sounds like a great lad,” Louis said with a hint of sarcasm but by Angie’s smile, she agreed.  “Okay, well, take it away and shut your brother up.

 

Angie laughed before she took a deep.   They haven’t had much success but they could say she was a yes without sounding like they were desperate. 

 

“Well, the practice has paid off.  Do me a favour and sing it more now to piss him off,” Louis begged and Harry had to smile at that.  That Louis charm is what caught him all though years ago.

 

“We haven’t voted yet-”

 

“Like it’s up for discussion,” Louis cut Simon off and as much as Harry agreed with Louis, Simon was right.  They had a job and had to critique first.

 

“Well, since Louis can’t wait, I will agree.  But as a judge I will say you have very great control of your high notes and practice different genres so we can hear more of your range,” Harry smiled, not realizing that Louis was gapping at him.  He knew how to give advice without critiquing.  Was it really a surprise?

 

“Well, I think Harry summed it up here.  It’s a yes for me, dear,” Sharon nodded.

 

Simon just flicked his hand and announced she got through.

 

They heard a boy named Elliot who was decent enough to get through.  Harry was the only one who didn’t agree but apparently, he missed something and a girl named Tina who Simon only like.

 

It was mid-day by the time Harry was done.  Today was turning into an agonizing day.  They’ve heard more bad singers than good.  There was the sixteen-year that probably had her parents lie at everything she did to make her happy.  Her singing was so bad that Harry felt bad when Simon laughed.

 

There was also a twenty-year-old boy that spoke instead of singing.  That one he had to bit his lip to stop from smiling.

 

By the end of the day, they only had twelve going through.  Which was the worst day so far.  But he had to remember that this was only the end of day three.

 

It was late when Harry walked through his hotel room, opting to go out and eat.

 

He dialled Niall as soon as he walked through the room.  He knew the show paid for the good rooms but Harry liked the smaller rooms.  It felt more intimate.  And when he was on the road, it was stupid to get an overly lavish room for only a night or two.

 

He knew that the other judges were staying at different hotels which was fine with him.  The smaller chance of running into Louis the better.

 

“Now you answer,” Harry grouched when the cheery sound of Irish boy’s voice spilled through the speaker.

 

“Sorry.  Was in the studio and didn’t hear my phone.  And when I was done, I didn’t know if you were finished.”

 

“It’s fine.  I’m just tired.”  He was so exhausted that the joy of making Louis speechless was almost gone.  He just wanted to sleep until tomorrow until he had to actually get up.

 

“How bad was today then?”

 

“Shit.  Manchester is filled with—actually, I’m not going to say it.  It was just bad.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“We only found twelve good singers and the rest were rubbish.  A lot of people off key or flat.  There were a few so bad that I don’t know if they were joking by signing up.  I hate that the producers send these twats in for viewers’ entertainment.  It’s not fun for us.”

 

“Ha!  Now I know your pissed when you rant and don’t take a breath before you’re done.  The gasp you take is hilarious.

 

“Thank you for your support, Horan,” he deadpanned as he balanced his phone between his shoulder and ear as he took his boots off.

 

He flopped on the bed, careful not to disconnect the call.  He’s done that before.  Several times.

 

“You’re welcome,” came the lad’s cheeky response.

 

Harry glared at the window.  He was too high up to see anything but the sky from the bed but he wasn’t about to get up.

 

“So, how was Louis?  Still planning his murder?”

 

“I’m not planning his murder… Yet,” he added, causing Niall to cackle.

 

“That’s my boy.  Anyway, how was he?”

 

“Still the same twat.  But I got him back.  Before it all fell apart.  If this day wasn’t shitty, I would be so happy.”

 

“What did you say?  And I want the full story.”

 

“Really?” he deadpanned.  After today, as soon as he repeated it, he’d realize how pathetic it was to Louis’ insults.  “It’s really nothing.”

 

“Share, Styles.”

 

Harry sighed.  “Honestly, now that I think about it, it’s stupid.”  Really, Louis made him proud of what a teenager could say. 

 

“Hey, you know me.  Anything between you and Tomlinson is hilarious.  Spill.”

 

“Well, I was saying how it’s different from singing because I have to talk to everyone and then Louis went on how it couldn’t be too overwhelming compared to a concert.  And then I said that maybe for him it’s not but I then said how you crush people’s dream here and a concert you don’t.  Then I asked if he had already forgotten.”

 

Niall laughed loudly that Harry had to pull the mobile from his ear.

 

“I swear to God, you laugh at anything.  It made him speechless but it’s nothing compared to what he says.”

 

“Who cares.  I’m proud of you, Haz.  Anytime you get under Luis’ skin is a success.”

 

“If you say so.  I am kind of proud.  Just hope I can keep this up.”

 

“You will.  As the show progresses you will be around Louis a lot more.  I’ll try to visit as much as I can.  Have nothing but recording so I’ll be harassing you at night.”

 

“You know that’s when the shows are, right?”

 

“Then I’ll come to visit.  You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

 

“Never said I was,” Harry smirked and laid back against a pillow.  “Are we still on for London?”

 

“Yes, we are and tell me which hotel you’re staying at so I can book a room.”

 

“No.  I can ask them to book a room bigger room.  And then you don’t have pay for one.”

 

“Not like I can’t afford it.”

 

“I know you can.  But if you’re going to be there for me, just stay with me.  Then you can just sleep there.  Plus, we both know that you’ll do that anyway with a room or not.”

 

“Very true,” Niall said without missing a beat.  “I’ll sleep with you.”

 

“Do you always have to make everything an innuendo?”

 

“When I know how much you hate it, yes, I do.”

 

“Oh, fuck off.  Remind me again why we’re friends again.”

 

“Because you love me and I refuse to leave.  I had a good feeling about you when we met.”

 

Harry unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off.  The room was too hot but he was talking to Niall and too lazy to turn the AC a little higher.

 

“Well, I’m glad I gave you my number.  You know you were the first boy I gave my number to.  Feel special.”

 

“Oh, Harry,” he moaned in happiness.   “I am so honourer. You cheeky bastard.”

 

Harry sighed and looked at the clock on the nightstand.

 

“Well, I should go to bed.  I have to get up early and endure another day.”

 

“Oh, shit.  I didn’t realize the time.  I’ll let you go.  Have a good night.”

 

“You too, Ni.”  The line went dead and Harry was tempted to just fall asleep now but he needed to brush his teeth and get out of these trousers.

 

Tomorrow would be a better day, he told himself.  He texted his mum, not willing to start another conversation.

 

He finally climbed under the blanke

He still couldn’t believe he was here.  He’s been to Liverpool before but never for something like this.  He didn’t want to believe that he’s here, at the Echo Arena as a judge.  He didn’t know if it was a good step that his team did.  He knew that if you were a judged on the X-Factor it did help.  Apparently.

 

He just didn’t know.  Sometimes judges got criticized harshly when people didn’t agree on their choices.

 

Still, he was still shocked.  Niall took him out to celebrate and he got drunk, not something he usually did but that night felt like the right time.

 

He was wandering around the back of the audition room, waiting for the crew to get him.  He didn’t see anyone but the crew and they were too busy to acknowledge him.  It didn’t matter.  He was too nervous to talk.

 

He knew the auditions were going to be long and intense but he was ready.  He saw the schedule and he was already regretting the lack of sleep he got.  He had been too nervous to sleep and had to have three cups of coffee.

 

Niall had texted him good luck as well as his mum and Gemma. It still didn’t help.  This was completely out of his element.  For a singer, it was pretty ironic that having so much focus on him unnerved him.  He could argue that a show that aired on telly; seen by millions was very different than singing in front of thousands.  He’s performed on the telly before but this was different.  Those shows were one night.   This was something new.

 

He was running a little late, well, he had five minutes before they started but he liked to be punctual.  And no one called him.  He bypassed Simon and took the seat next to him.  Sharon was already in her seat.  The seating arrangement had changed since last year.  Simon was the lesser than two evils.  He almost kissed the girl who told him.

 

“Where’s Louis?” Simon snapped, irritation clear in his voice. 

 

Harry was jostled from his thoughts.  He was so focused on avoiding the man that he completely forgot that Louis had to be here for the auditions to start.

 

“Sorry,” a voice called out.  “I’m here.”

 

Harry looked over to where Louis was pulling his chair out.  He looked like he was about to say something but stuttered when his eyes landed on Harry.  “I-I-I-”

 

Harry raised his eyebrows in challenge but before Louis could finish, Simon cut in.

 

“Lovely for you to join us, Louis.  If you stop socializing with Malik and do your job, maybe you’d be on time.”

 

Louis tore his gaze from Harry and glared at Simon.  It seemed like he was used to the attitude.

 

“I’m here, aren’t I?  Bother me when I’m actually late.”  He chanced a glance at Harry, who held his gaze, not giving a hint of emotion.  He promised himself when he heard Louis was returning that he wasn’t going to fall for the older lad’s charm.  It was just an act.

 

“Boys,” Sharon sighed.  “It’s only the first day.  Try not to fight.”

 

Harry still kept his stare to the background across the floor for the Contestants. 

 

As soon as the first person walked in, this was going to be real.  No turning back.  This was his job for the length of the competition.

 

“You’re ready, Harry?” Sharon asked, smiling sweetly.

 

He nodded and smiled.  “I am.  Bit nervous.”

 

“You’ll do fine.”  She patted his arm as he muttered a small ‘thanks’.

 

“Also, it’s okay if people hate you,” Louis chimed in, smirking like he knew he hit a nerve.

 

“Um?”

 

“He’s right, Harry.  It’s normal.  Don’t take it to heart.”

 

“Um… Thanks?”  He looked to Louis who was still smirking.  Clearly, he was still the same ass he met at the Brits and wasn’t about to change.  He glared at the man and fought the urge to be petulant and flip him off.

 

“Are we ready you start or do you still have to say something more, Louis?”

 

There was a paused before Harry heard a loud sigh.  “We can start.”

 

Not too long after the first boy walked through, looking nervous.

 

“Hi,” the boy said, looking at all the judges.  “I’m Nate.  Nice to meet you.”

 

“Nice to meet you,” Louis cheered as he took the audition.  “And where are you from?”

 

“I’m from Liverpool.  Born and raised,” the boy answered and Harry could tell he was nervous.  Who wouldn’t be?

 

So, a local boy.  Harry smiled at him.

 

“And how old are you?”

 

Harry could hear the smile in his voice and he wondered if it was genuine or the fake one he used to lure him in.

 

Knowing Louis, he wasn’t fake for anyone but Harry.

 

“I’m twenty-one.”

 

“And do you work?” Simon spoke up.

 

Nate turned to him, still smiling.  “I’m in school.  Studying finance.”

 

“Smart lad.  Never could do that myself,” Louis chuckled.  “And what are you going to sing?”

 

“Ed Sheeran’s Perfect.”

 

“Love that song.  Good luck, mate.”

 

The boy took a deep breath as the song began.  He really hoped the boy was good.  He seemed like a nice lad and Harry didn’t want to crush him.

 

He was a little shaky but was in key.  Harry didn’t try to hide his smile as Nate went on before he finished.

 

“Thank you,” Simon said and looked to the other. 

 

“That was good.,” Louis jumped in and received a smile from Nate.  “I’m going to say yes.”

 

Simon rolled his eyes.  “We aren’t supposed to vote yet but since Louis can’t seem to wait, we’ll just go ahead.”

 

Harry bit back a smirk at Simon reprimanding Louis.  Louis was just as sassy and cheeky as he was seven years ago, but now it was funny when someone gave it to Louis.

 

“Sharon,” Simon sighed, his irritation clear in his voice.

 

“It’s a yes for me, dear.”

 

“You were a little shaky,” Harry said, wanting to give the boy a warning.  “But I assume it was just the nervous.”

 

Nate nodded in agreement but not saying anything. 

 

“Just work on it but it’s a yes for me.”

 

Nate smiled so widely, wider than the one Harry got and he felt a little smug.

 

“It’s four yeses.” 

 

Nate tanked them and walked the way he came in.

 

“Let’s just hope the rest of the day is this good.”

 

“It’s the first audition, Louis,” Simon sighed.

 

“Like you’re not thinking the same thing.”

 

Simon didn’t say anything and let the next audition come in.

 

Harry wondered if last year was like this. From the bits he saw, Louis and Simon seemed to argue a lot.  He could see why. 

 

He didn’t know what Simon was really like.  Only what the camera showed but it was pretty clear that Simon wasn’t easy to work with.

 

They heard five more auditions; only two yeses and three nos.  Not the worst start.  And it slowly crawled like that.  After hearing about twenty more people, he felt like he was going to break.  He had to be honest when it came to rejections he still wasn’t as brutally honest as Louis or Simon.

 

“You can’t be kind when you are telling them ‘no’, Harry,” Simon snipped and Harry tried his hardest not to blush.

“I’m not.  I being honest without being harsh.” 

 

He didn’t know why he was getting attacked.  He was doing what Sharon was doing.  She was labelled the ‘nice one’.  She didn’t get Simon’s comments as often as he did.

 

But maybe it was because he was new and Sharon had been around for two years now.  She earned her spot and he was too new to be respected.  Also, he couldn’t hold his own like she could or Louis.

 

This was a mistake.  He should have listened to Niall when he tried to talk him out of it.  But he thought this would help his career.  Maybe more people would know him when the episodes aired.

 

That only thing he had to fight was the urge to back out when he heard Louis was returning.  He was now on his second year of his hiatus and he still lost to Louis when his album was up for awards during his first year off.  Stupid eligibility period.  Even when he was on a break his still beat Harry for Male Solo Artist and Album of the Year.

 

And he even won against him in the American awards.  What the fuck was happening?  If he was being honest, the British awards meant more to him.  He wanted his home country to like him enough to pick him as the winner.

 

He did win a few other British awards but everyone knew it was the Brits that really mattered.  And the sick joke was he only won when he wasn’t up against Louis.  Which showed that it was always Louis.  He only won because he was the only option.  He was never good enough to win against Louis.  And the award shows showed that.  He even lost against Liam and Niall once.  The latter didn’t sting as much

 

The only time he ever won against Louis was two years ago and for a fucking music video.  Of all awards.  He knew he should be happy.  He had finally got one up on Louis.  But it was kind of mocking that he was only good enough for a music video award.  Something he really didn’t have much say and didn’t reflect his work.

 

“Fine,” he relented.  Sharon and Louis stayed silent but he could tell Sharon wanted to say something.  He glanced to Louis who was looking anywhere but him.

 

Good.  He didn’t need his judgmental gaze.

 

“Simon,” Sharon decided to say.  “Leave the boy alone.”

 

He was aware of the cameras and he wondered if this scene would make the cut.

 

“This is his first year.”

 

“And not all of us are like you.”

 

Harry’s head snapped to Louis, squinting his eyes, studying the man.  Why was he suddenly being nice to him?  He hated him.  It was clear from the Tweets.  Even when Harry lost and Louis was on hiatus, he still managed to mock him.

 

The only reason he could come up with was Louis hated Simon that much to get a punch in.

 

It was never for him and that was why he hated Louis.  They say never met your heroes and while Louis wasn’t his hero, he idolized Louis—stupidly, only for it to tear him more.

 

He never thought the Louis from the interviews was just an act.  He never thought he would be like the bullies from school.  It was like he could never leave that life behind. 

 

He thought this was a new beginning but Louis made it just a different day and different setting.

 

He wasn’t going to let Louis in.  Never again and this was the perfect chance.  They would be fighting against each other to win.

 

He didn’t realize that Louis and Simon were still arguing before Louis just sighed angerly and said they had to continue with the auditions if they wanted to finish on time.

 

The next audition was a girl that looked a little older than Harry. 

 

She was tall and slender with wavy black hair with a shin of blue which meant it was dyed.

 

“Hi, love,” Louis spoke again.

 

Harry has yet to speak.  Every time he tried, someone would talk over him.

 

“Hi,” she smiled brightly at Louis.  He remembered he used to be like that around Louis.

 

“And what’s your name?”

 

“Samantha.”

 

“And how old are you?”

 

“I’m twenty-five.”

 

“And where are you from?”

 

“I’m from Wales but I live here for work.”

 

“And what do you do?” Sharon asked.

 

“I’m a youth worker.  I love kids.”

 

Harry brightened up at her answer.  He loved babies.  Even though he was only twenty-three, he already wanted children.

 

His mum teased him about being too old for his age.  He couldn’t help it.

 

“And why are you here?”

 

“Because I love to sing.  Which is probably everyone’s answer,” she joked, causing Louis to laugh.

 

“Honest.  Like that.  And what are you going to sing?

 

“Perfect by Pink.”

 

“Interesting choice.  Well, good luck.”

 

She gave a small ‘thanks’ before she started to sing.

 

She was impressive for having no music to back her up.  Even though it was still early and they had most of the day to get through, Harry could easily say she was the best. 

 

“Samantha,” Sharon smiled when she finished.  “That was gorgeous.  You are very talented my dear.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Thanks, Sharon,” Louis teased.  “Taking what I was going to say.  Anyway, that was brilliant.  That’s such a great rendition.”

 

“That’s actually one of my favourite songs and I just loved what you did with it.”

 

“Well, I feel what I say won’t matter.  Do were even have to vote?”

 

“I think we are all in an agreement.  You got four yeses,” Sharon smiled.

 

Samantha put her hand to her heart as if she wasn’t expecting the response she got.

 

“Oh my God.  Thank you.”

 

She then rushed out, probably to tell whomever she came with the good news.

 

The next guy was cringey.  He wasn’t in key and flat.  Harry wondered if they sent these people in here for views. 

 

He wasn’t very good and judging by Sharon’s face, she was trying hard not to laugh.

 

Simon raised his hand to cut him off.

 

“Thank you, Jeff,” Simon said as he dropped his hand.  “Okay, I’m going to make this quick.  That was dreadful.”

 

Jeff’s face dropped and Harry felt bad but it was better to be honest than to give the lad false hope.

 

“It wasn’t very good, dear,” Sharon said.

 

“Okay,” Simon said before Harry and Louis could get a chance, though their comments weren’t going to be much better.  “It’s a no.  Thank you for coming through.”

 

Jeff looked like he wanted to protest but thought better off it and left.

 

They listened to a few more before they got a break.   Harry wasted no time before leaving the room to call Niall.

 

“I can’t do it, Niall,” Harry rushed out when the other end picked up.

 

“Hello to you, too.  Was going to ask how the day’s going but you answered my question.”

 

“Don’t joke, Niall” he gritted out.  “I’m being serious.  What the hell was I thinking?”

 

“Didn’t I ask that when you took Simon’s offer?”

 

“I don’t need to be reminded, Niall.  I need help.”

 

“What can I do, Haz?”  There was shuffling on the other end and a loud ‘fuck’ from Niall.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Trying to move my table and ended dropping it on my foot.  The leg.  Not the table.”

 

“How are you doing that and talking to me?”  He furrowed his brows.  He would have appreciated Niall’s full attention.

 

“Speaker,” he replied simply, causing Harry to groan.

 

“Will you please stop and let me talk?  I don’t have long before I have to go back.”

 

He had his back to the wall in case Louis came down the hall.  He pulled his cross along the chain, giving him something to do.

 

“Okay.  Shit man.  If your gonna be a right tit, quit.  But it’s only been half a day.”

 

“I know that,” he snapped.  Slowly he was learning how stupid he was to listen to his team and accept Simon’s offer.  Niall was right: it’s only been half a day but he never dealt with Louis face-to-face.

 

“Well, if you can’t deal with it after only a few hours, quit.”

 

“You know I can’t do that.”

 

As tempting as it sounded, he would never survive if he dipped out so soon.  He could have fought.  He was inching to four years and had more say, but they pressured Harry to take the contract.  Saying it would help people know who he was.

 

The stupid part of him agreed because he wanted to do anything to get him out of Louis Tomlinson’s shadow.

 

“Then what do you want?”

 

Harry fell against the wall and groaned. “I don’t know.  I know we talked about it when I first signed.  I just don’t know.”

 

“Do you want me to come when you’re in London?”

 

Harry thought about that for a moment.  It was tempting.  Having someone there to support him.  But it wouldn’t work.

 

“No.  It’s fine.  I’ll be busy.  Won’t get to see you.”

 

“Doesn’t matter.  I can just hang out in the hotel and let you bitch at the end of the day.”

 

Harry smiled.  He still couldn’t believe that Niall texted him the day after the Brits and are still good mates to this day.  He sometimes had to remind himself that Niall was his friend and wanted to do these things for him.

 

“If you want to.  I’m not forcing you.”

 

“I know you’re not.  So, how’s Tomlinson.  Still a right wanker?”

 

“Yes, but we haven’t talked much.  Between each audition, I’m mostly ignored.  It’s almost like they forget I’m there.  One contestant they didn’t even ask for my vote!”

“Oh. Wow.”

 

“Am I making too big of a deal out of this?   It’s only the first day.”

 

“Could be.  I don’t think they can ignore you.  It’s part of the show to have four judges.  And views might pick up if they show that they are ignoring you.”

 

“It’s really Simon. I shouldn’t be hurt.  Kinda knew what I was getting myself into.”

 

“If you’re sure,” Niall agreed but sound hesitant. 

 

“I am.  As you said: it’s only the first day.  Got to give it more time.”

 

He felt like he’d been chanting in his head and it wasn’t even one.

 

He always over thought everything since school.  Whenever someone was nice (rarely) or mean he blamed himself.  Like right now.  Even though it was still early, he was wondering what he did.

 

“After we meet in London, then you can bang on with how I was right and you should have listened to me.”

 

Harry jumped when Niall's voice cracked loudly through the phone.  He really needed to stop spacing out.

 

“Remind me why I still talk to you.”

 

“Because I’m the only one who lets you bitch and whine.”

 

He was glad that Niall didn’t say the actual reason.  He didn’t like to face the fact that Niall was really his only friend.

 

“How’s the lonely life going?” he asked, changing the subject.

 

“Great!  Nice to finally be able to relax for once and in one place too.”

 

“Don’t remind me.  Now I wished I took this year off.  I really don’t know how Louis did it.”

 

“No idea.  Probably why he’s taking two years off.”

 

“He’s still here,” he countered.  “I’m exhausted already.”

 

Someone called Harry’s name and turned to see a crew member wave him over.

 

“Shit.  I got to go back.”

 

“Be strong, Harry.  Don’t let Simon or Louis push you around.”

 

“Thanks, Ni.  Talk to you later.”

 

He hung up and rushed back to the room.  Louis was the only one missing.

 

“Is he always late?”  He turned to Sharon, who was more approachable.

 

“Not really.  He’s usually the first one here.”

 

Suddenly, Louis came rushing in.  He met Harry’s eyes and smirked like he was judging him.

 

The younger man just rolled eye roll.  He wasn’t going to let him think the past few years weren’t relevant anymore.  That this was a new start.  Until Louis talked to him, he wasn’t having any of his shit.

 

Because of Louis, the media had stirred up this rivalry between them and if Louis was going to play, he would too.

 

“Please don’t make a habit of this, Louis,” Simon bit out.

 

“It’s only the first day, Simon,” Louis snapped as he sat in the chair.

 

“And you’re been late twice.”

 

“Can we please start.  We are running late,” Sharon sighed.  “And it would be nice to leave on time.”

 

This time, Harry was glad he was left out.

 

“Fine.  Who’s next?”  Louis asked.

 

A crew member led a group in.  The first group of the day.  To be fair, it was only halfway through the day. 

 

“Hi lads,” Harry jumped in before anyone could and by Simon’s silence, it was fine.

 

“Hi,” one of the boys answered.  He wasn’t tall and looked young but then again, he was teased for looking younger than he was.

 

“And what are your names?”

 

“Well, we’re Equals Three.  But I’m Eric,” the guy who was talking said.

 

“I’m Garrett,” the man by Eric said.

 

“And I’m Chase.”

 

“Lovely to meet you.  And how long have you been together?”

 

“We were neighbours growing up and started to sing together only three years ago.

 

“Impressive,” Louis chimed in and Harry had to bit his lip to keep his smile, very aware of the cameras around.  He didn’t want to be caught rolling his eyes or scoffing and having it make the episode.  “Don’t think I could ever do that.  And what will you be singing?”

 

“Girl On Fire by Alicia Keys.”

 

“Okay, good luck, lads.”

 

It wasn’t hard to fake a smile. The boys were good.  A little off at times but Harry figured with some help, they could be great.

 

“The harmonizing was good,” Louis praised and Harry had to agree.  For a band only being around for three years, they already knew how to work together.

 

“Louis’ right.  You were a little off a couple of times but if feel like with some help you’d be great.”

 

“You three are adorable,” Sharon gushed and for a second Harry forgot about her.  He was too caught up with how he and Louis were agreeing. It wouldn’t last long though.

 

Simon ended up agreeing with Harry but the group got four yeses and the day continued.

 

And he was right when he knew Louis and he wasn’t going to agree on anything when one was in a disagreement.

 

If Harry liked someone, it seemed like Louis just wanted to argue.  If Louis liked someone, Harry wasn’t childish to argue if the person wasn’t good.  But they did argue.  Since Simon didn’t say much, it either wasn’t too bad or it made for good telly.

 

Fans would love watching the feud that only happened through social media translate to real life.  They avoided each other at award shows and only sent Tweets.  Well, Louis did.  Harry never responded which made him wonder how the feud started.  It was so one-sided but he knew the media loved to spin things and this was perfect bait.

 

Two fabricated enemies having to work together and compete against each other made for articles.  Well, the enemies part really wasn’t fabricated, from what the articles said.  They did hate each other.  But Louis hated him for something Harry didn’t even know.  The singer was at the top, while Harry was hidden by him.  So why did he hate him?

 

Harry didn’t like Louis because of all the taunting and bullying.  Louis didn’t realize his ‘jokes’ only led to a bunch of humiliation from his family.  Every time Louis Tweeted him, his fans would back him up and say he would never be like Louis.

 

His own fans praised him and said they were still proud of Harry but it was hard to ignore the hate when the man himself was leading it.

 

So, yes.  Harry hated Louis but he never showed it on social media and maybe that was the problem.  Whether if he ignored the fights or commented on them, it apparently meant they were enemies.  They thought he was too good to react or whatever they thought.

 

They were near the end of the day and he was in a fight with Louis over a group.  Louis and Simon said ‘yes’ but Sharon was a ‘no’.  And now they were trying to persuade his answer.

 

He hated when the show did that and argued in from of contestant, getting their hopes up and then crushing them.

 

Fuck, Louis.

 

“Look, you were good.  But I-”

 

“Give them a chance, Harry.”

 

Harry finally broke and glared at the man.  He was going to be complaining to Niall tonight.  And there was almost a hundred percent sure this would make the show.  An argument with the judges was just as good as a difficult audition.  It was gold.

 

“Will you please let me finish, Louis,” he snapped his name, causing Louis to roll his eyes.

The girls shifted, nervously.  From what Harry was saying, they knew the answer.

 

“As I was saying,” he started again.  “I think you were great.  But I have to agree with Sharon, I don’t think you’re ready right now.”

 

“Like you were any better when you started.”  Harry heard Louis mutter.  He almost made it through the day without hearing Louis’ hurtful words in person.

 

He felt his heart stop for a moment.  He didn’t look anywhere but the girls.  He smiled as brightly as he could manage.

 

“I’ll give you a chance, girls.  Please make the best of this.”

 

The girls squealed and thanked each judge before leaving.  He now was certain this would make the show.  Also, Louis’ fans would probably agree.  And the fans of the show would say Harry didn’t belong there.

 

Why was he here?

 

They wrapped the day with four yeses and a handful of noses.

 

Overall, it was a successful first day.  Not for Harry though.

 

 

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

 

 

He made it to his hotel room and collapsed on the bed.  He was hungry but wasn’t willing to move.  Maybe he’d order room service.

 

He grabbed the pillow and hugged it.  He wasn’t about to leave his room with the risk of running into Louis.  But he figured he was with Zayn. 

 

His mobile vibrated beside him but he didn’t react.  He knew it was Niall.  It would have been nice to have a quiet night but Niall wanted to know how he was and the gossip before the show aired.

 

He sighed and grabbed the mobile, still pressed against the pillow.

 

“I fucked up, Niall,” he said in lieu of a ‘hello’

 

“Still the same as this morning,” the boy laughed at his own joke.

 

“Not funny, Niall.”

 

“Well, if you’re going to be like this, break the contract,” Niall snide.

 

“I can’t.  People already think I am too young for this.  Even though I’m only two years younger than Louis when he first started.”

 

“Then prove them wrong.”

 

“And how?  By winning?  It’s only the first day”

 

“What happened, Harry?  You’re not talking.  I can hear your tone.”

 

Harry sighed and pressed his face into the pillow before turning his head back.  “He humiliated me.”  That was the best he could say.  What could he say?  That’s really what Louis did.  And with Simon and Sharon present.

 

It really wasn’t a big deal, until the show aired and the nation saw.

 

Louis couldn’t do any wrong.  He was an X-Factor product.  He was a success story and having him as a judge was an honour.

 

“What did he do this time?” he chuckled.

 

“Please be serious, Niall.  I knew he was going to be like this, but on the first day?”

 

Honestly, how Niall hasn’t clocked him right now was a miracle.  He’s twenty-three; he needed to grow up. 

 

“We established that Louis is a dick.  So, what really happened.”

 

He felt his face heat up.  If this was how he was telling Niall, he was sure he was going to die when it was aired.

 

If anyone had said it, Harry could have just brushed it off.  But Louis had a way of digging his words into him and making them stick.

 

“We were arguing over this group.  Simon and Louis said yes.  Sharon said no and I was speaking before Louis cut me off.  Trying to get me to say yes.   I said that the girls needed more work and then Louis said like I was any better…”  He trailed off.  He was sure he was overacting but whenever someone criticized his work openly, he was sent back to school.

 

“You know he was probably pissed that you had the decision and he wanted to hurt you.”

 

“Well, it worked.  He got his way.  Like in school.  Pushed until I gave in.”

 

“Look, Harry.  I said this before and I’ll say it again, you should have won that Brit.   You were great.  And Louis was just pissed that it was you who he had to convince you and that’s the only way he knows.”

 

“Yeah.  Maybe.  I swear if he wasn’t for them, he would have been going on about them.”

 

Niall laughed loudly as he dropped his phone.  He heard a muffled curse before Niall was talking again.

 

“Sorry.  Sorry.  That was actually funny.  Can’t wait to see the episode then.”

 

“Wasn’t that funny,” he muttered.  “And then watch Louis taunt me?”

 

“Okay, not that.   But seeing Louis with girls has to be funny.”

 

“It’s not.  He’s so sure of himself.  It was like nothing.”

 

“Still,” Niall said.  “When you know, it’s funny.”

 

“The whole bloody world knows Louis is gay.”

 

He would know.  His heart had drooped when he heard.  He wanted to be that brave but he was not about to come out in school.

 

“You’re right.  Still.”

 

“Do you just find everything funny?”

 

“Pretty much.  Hey, I have to go but call me tomorrow and hopefully, Louis won’t be such a twat.”

 

“I will.  Have a good night.”

 

He pressed the ‘end’ button and dropped his hand defeat.  He realized that he wasn’t hungry and just wanted to go to bed.  He brushed his teeth and got changed.  He’d just make sure he had breakfast tomorrow. 

 

 

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

 

 

When Louis first saw Harry today, he had to do a doubletake.  He had felt his heart stop.  He didn’t realize that Harry was Nicole ’s replacement.

 

He should have listened when the judges' list came out but he kind of didn’t care.  He still had his spot and that’s all that mattered.  That and Zayn was returning.

 

He’d see pictures of Harry’s new look.  Tight jeans, floral shirts that revealed his tattoos and healed boots that probably would make Harry much taller than he was.  He hated when people were taller than he. 

 

Also, his stupid hair.  It still had its curl but was now just past his shoulders.  He wasn’t the nineteen-year-old he met all those years ago.

 

It was like after he went off for a break, Harry took his place.  But he felt comfortable that Harry won because he wasn’t there.  Also, his sales were still below what he had before going off.  It was sick but he liked it.  He didn’t want to be replaced.

 

“So, are we gonna talk about how Harry is now here?” Zayn asked as he placed his glass down.  They were down at the hotel bar and out to celebrate their first day.

 

He knew they had an early morning and couldn’t drink like he wanted to.  If Harry wasn’t here, he wouldn’t be this irritated.

 

They were never supposed to meet except for award shows.  Where they could avoid each other.  Where Louis didn’t have the man he openly mocked on the internet.

 

Only time will tell how Harry would treat him.  But he kind of picked that already by openly humiliating the boy.  Yet, he still couldn’t find it in him to reject it.  He wanted that girl group and he had to get Harry to say yes.  Though, he could have acted better than hinting that Harry sucked during his first year.

 

“Did you know? Louis asked as he stared down at the table.

 

“If I knew, I would have told you.  I know you two have that feud.  Or whatever the web is saying about it.”

 

“It’s so strange to see him in person.  I mean, this close.  I haven’t talked to him in four years and still haven’t.  We haven’t had the chance to. Well, we did, Harry just never talked to me.”

 

“I wonder why,” Zayn said sarcastically.  It was just as easy to get on Louis’ nerves as it was with Harry’s.  “From the rags, he’s doing that to make him look good.”

 

Louis agreed but something sat heavily in his stomach.  Maybe they were wrong and Harry was just that genuine.  But that was a thought Louis didn’t want to entertain.  It was just easier to say Harry was a dick and get on with it.

 

“Most likely.  I say it’s the act his team wants him to sell.  Not doing that good of a job.”

 

Zayn hummed as he picked up his glass.  “Liam’s team tried to do something like that.  Making this tough, blunt man.  It didn’t work and they scrapped it. Now they just let him be him but monitor what he can and cannot say.”

 

“Like everyone we know.”

 

“Exactly.  I know Liam likes it more than when he had to play a character.

 

“So how is Liam?  I tried to see him before he left for America but timing.”

 

“He’s good.  Talked to him.  He’ll be back in September.  Probably could visit here when we film.”

 

“I was going to ask him to be my guest but the timing doesn’t work.”

 

Zayn smiled and nodded.  “Yeah.  He told me.  I think he’s sad that he’s missing that more than me. So, thanks for that.”

 

“Can’t help if he likes me better.”

 

“Fuck you, Tomlinson.  Like you like Liam that much.”  He glanced at his watched and sighed.  “I guess we should get upstairs.  Early morning and I want to rest so I don’t get pissed at people wanting to hug me.”

 

Louis laughed and followed Zayn to the lift.  “Why did you become the host if you don’t want people to touch you?”

 

“I’m not drunk enough to admit.”

 

“Honestly.” Louis laughed as he walked into and pressed the button, “it’s not as bad as you are making it out to be.”

 

“Maybe.  But I’m still not drunk enough to say it.”

 

“It’s not like I don’t know it.  Just protecting your pride?” Louis teased as the doors opened.

 

Zayn rolled his eyes and took the keycard from his pocket. 

 

 

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

 

 

. Manchester wasn’t any different.  Different venue.  Different Contestants.  But the same routine.

 

They were here for two days like Liverpool.  He was looking forward to Edinburgh.  It was the last stop before London and then he could see Niall again.

 

After Surry, the show would really start.  Bootcamp would begin and then they would get their categories.  It’s been only three days but he didn’t know what group he wanted.  He knew he didn’t have a choice but he didn’t want the over 25s.  That was one category he felt like he couldn’t help with and hopefully, the producers thought so too.  Louis was the right age, though.

 

He was sat in his chair in the audition room and was nervous.  The wait was getting to him.

 

They had a two-day break before heading to Manchester and in that time, he didn’t see any of the judges.  It was as if they only saw each other during shooting times.  Which was fine. The less Louis, the better.

 

He was tugging on his shirt.  He only left two buttons opened but he felt like Louis was scrutinizing him on the last day in Liverpool.

 

He was slowly realizing that it was only Louis that made him nervous and question his clothes each day.  However, it was only the third day of auditions. But that was the thing.  Only three days and Louis was making him feel like that teenager with a crush, wanting to impress Louis.

 

He needed to stop talking to Niall.  He needed to forget Louis and just wear what made him happy.

 

He was tapping his foot when Louis and Sharon walked in.

 

“Simon should be happy,” Louis grumbled as he took a seat.  “I’m on time.  Can’t say shit.”

 

Sharon laughed and patted Louis’ arm. 

 

“He’ll find something to complain about.”

 

And she was right.  She and Louis got told off for laughing at a bad contestant and couldn’t stop until five minutes later.

 

He hasn’t felt the need to laugh or urge to.  He had watched previous series and yes, some of the auditions were funny but Harry never laughed.  Was something wrong with him?  Or was it because it was like making fun of the person?  He didn’t know.

 

He jumped when he heard his name being called.

 

“Oh, God,” he gasped and clutched his chest.  He smiled sheepishly at Sharon, while Louis laughed at him.  He fought the urge to flip him off.

 

Sharon chuckled and grabbed Harry’s arm.  “Sorry, darling.”

 

  “It’s fine.  Was in my own thoughts.”

 

He glanced to Louis who raised his eyebrows.  He dropped his head and looked at the woman.

 

“What did you ask?”

 

“Just how you’re doing.  Not ready to quit, are you?”  She smirked and Harry felt a little better to have someone not against him.

 

“I can’t; too much paperwork,” he joked with a shy smile.  “But no, I’m fine.  Bit overwhelming.”

 

“Can’t be too overwhelming compared to a concert,” Louis spoke up.

 

“Maybe for you.  But a concert and here are very different.  Here, you have to talk to everyone who comes in and either help or crush their dreams.  At a concert, you just put on a show.  Or did you already forget?”

 

Harry bit his lip to keep his face blank.  He didn’t mean to say that but by Louis’ shocked face, he couldn’t help the swoop of satisfaction that spread through him.  After four years he finally shocked Louis.  He had to tell Niall later.

 

Sharon laughed which encouraged Harry not to feel bad like he wanted to.

 

Louis was about to comment when Simon came and asked for the first hopeful. 

 

This day was starting off badly.  Though they were fourteen people in and they only were unanimous on one to go through and split on another.  This time Louis didn’t argue when Harry went against him, which was surprising.  He thought Louis would after the comment.  He was enjoying it while it lasted.  It was bound to change at any moment.

 

On their second break, Louis disappeared and Harry was certain that he was with Zayn.  He wasn’t sure how they became mates but by the last series, it was clear they knew each other before Louis joined the X-Factor.

 

He couldn’t deny that Zayn was good looking but he scared him.  He was too intimidating when he was with Louis and watching him be so calm around Zayn made him realize that Zayn was like Louis.  A total wanker.

 

He still didn’t get that the guy talking to the Contestants and comforting them or congratulating them was the same guy who was impossible to approach.

 

He still was avoiding Zayn, which he shouldn’t.  He was supposed to know the host as well as all the judges. 

 

He texted Niall on his first break, and the Irish nob has yet to reply.

 

“Harry,” Sharon called from around the corner.  “We need you.”

 

Harry glanced down at his watched and cursed.  “Sorry.  Sorry.  I’m coming.”

 

He rushed to the table and ignored Louis’ snide remarks.

 

“Look likes I’m not the one late this time.”

 

Simon huffed.  “Can we please start.  We have a lot of auditions to get through.”

 

“Sure, Simon,” Louis rolled his eyes and sat back in his chair.

 

A tall red-headed woman walked in, smiling.  “Hi.” 

 

Her grin was so big and she was too bubbly to be nervous.  Harry wished he had her confidence.

 

“Hello, dear,” Sharon smiled.  “And what’s your name?”

 

“Angie.”

 

“Lovely name.  And how old are you?”

 

“I’m Twenty-seven.”

 

“And what do you?”

 

“I’m a secretary at a law firm.”

 

“And what are you going to sing for us?”

 

“Cyndi Lauper’s Girls Just Want to Have Fun.  I always sing that song and brother said if I don’t audition with this that I’ve tortured him for nothing,” she joked and Harry smirked.  His mum had said something similar when he kept singing Louis’ song.

 

“Well, you brother sounds like a great lad,” Louis said with a hint of sarcasm but by Angie’s smile, she agreed.  “Okay, well, take it away and shut your brother up.

 

Angie laughed before she took a deep.   They haven’t had much success but they could say she was a yes without sounding like they were desperate. 

 

“Well, the practice has paid off.  Do me a favour and sing it more now to piss him off,” Louis begged and Harry had to smile at that.  That Louis charm is what caught him all though years ago.

 

“We haven’t voted yet-”

 

“Like it’s up for discussion,” Louis cut Simon off and as much as Harry agreed with Louis, Simon was right.  They had a job and had to critique first.

 

“Well, since Louis can’t wait, I will agree.  But as a judge I will say you have very great control of your high notes and practice different genres so we can hear more of your range,” Harry smiled, not realizing that Louis was gapping at him.  He knew how to give advice without critiquing.  Was it really a surprise?

 

“Well, I think Harry summed it up here.  It’s a yes for me, dear,” Sharon nodded.

 

Simon just flicked his hand and announced she got through.

 

They heard a boy named Elliot who was decent enough to get through.  Harry was the only one who didn’t agree but apparently, he missed something and a girl named Tina who Simon only like.

 

It was mid-day by the time Harry was done.  Today was turning into an agonizing day.  They’ve heard more bad singers than good.  There was the sixteen-year that probably had her parents lie at everything she did to make her happy.  Her singing was so bad that Harry felt bad when Simon laughed.

 

There was also a twenty-year-old boy that spoke instead of singing.  That one he had to bit his lip to stop from smiling.

 

By the end of the day, they only had twelve going through.  Which was the worst day so far.  But he had to remember that this was only the end of day three.

 

It was late when Harry walked through his hotel room, opting to go out and eat.

 

He dialled Niall as soon as he walked through the room.  He knew the show paid for the good rooms but Harry liked the smaller rooms.  It felt more intimate.  And when he was on the road, it was stupid to get an overly lavish room for only a night or two.

 

He knew that the other judges were staying at different hotels which was fine with him.  The smaller chance of running into Louis the better.

 

“Now you answer,” Harry grouched when the cheery sound of Irish boy’s voice spilled through the speaker.

 

“Sorry.  Was in the studio and didn’t hear my phone.  And when I was done, I didn’t know if you were finished.”

 

“It’s fine.  I’m just tired.”  He was so exhausted that the joy of making Louis speechless was almost gone.  He just wanted to sleep until tomorrow until he had to actually get up.

 

“How bad was today then?”

 

“Shit.  Manchester is filled with—actually, I’m not going to say it.  It was just bad.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“We only found twelve good singers and the rest were rubbish.  A lot of people off key or flat.  There were a few so bad that I don’t know if they were joking by signing up.  I hate that the producers send these twats in for viewers’ entertainment.  It’s not fun for us.”

 

“Ha!  Now I know your pissed when you rant and don’t take a breath before you’re done.  The gasp you take is hilarious.

 

“Thank you for your support, Horan,” he deadpanned as he balanced his phone between his shoulder and ear as he took his boots off.

 

He flopped on the bed, careful not to disconnect the call.  He’s done that before.  Several times.

 

“You’re welcome,” came the lad’s cheeky response.

 

Harry glared at the window.  He was too high up to see anything but the sky from the bed but he wasn’t about to get up.

 

“So, how was Louis?  Still planning his murder?”

 

“I’m not planning his murder… Yet,” he added, causing Niall to cackle.

 

“That’s my boy.  Anyway, how was he?”

 

“Still the same twat.  But I got him back.  Before it all fell apart.  If this day wasn’t shitty, I would be so happy.”

 

“What did you say?  And I want the full story.”

 

“Really?” he deadpanned.  After today, as soon as he repeated it, he’d realize how pathetic it was to Louis’ insults.  “It’s really nothing.”

 

“Share, Styles.”

 

Harry sighed.  “Honestly, now that I think about it, it’s stupid.”  Really, Louis made him proud of what a teenager could say. 

 

“Hey, you know me.  Anything between you and Tomlinson is hilarious.  Spill.”

 

“Well, I was saying how it’s different from singing because I have to talk to everyone and then Louis went on how it couldn’t be too overwhelming compared to a concert.  And then I said that maybe for him it’s not but I then said how you crush people’s dream here and a concert you don’t.  Then I asked if he had already forgotten.”

 

Niall laughed loudly that Harry had to pull the mobile from his ear.

 

“I swear to God, you laugh at anything.  It made him speechless but it’s nothing compared to what he says.”

 

“Who cares.  I’m proud of you, Haz.  Anytime you get under Luis’ skin is a success.”

 

“If you say so.  I am kind of proud.  Just hope I can keep this up.”

 

“You will.  As the show progresses you will be around Louis a lot more.  I’ll try to visit as much as I can.  Have nothing but recording so I’ll be harassing you at night.”

 

“You know that’s when the shows are, right?”

 

“Then I’ll come to visit.  You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

 

“Never said I was,” Harry smirked and laid back against a pillow.  “Are we still on for London?”

 

“Yes, we are and tell me which hotel you’re staying at so I can book a room.”

 

“No.  I can ask them to book a room bigger room.  And then you don’t have pay for one.”

 

“Not like I can’t afford it.”

 

“I know you can.  But if you’re going to be there for me, just stay with me.  Then you can just sleep there.  Plus, we both know that you’ll do that anyway with a room or not.”

 

“Very true,” Niall said without missing a beat.  “I’ll sleep with you.”

 

“Do you always have to make everything an innuendo?”

 

“When I know how much you hate it, yes, I do.”

 

“Oh, fuck off.  Remind me again why we’re friends again.”

 

“Because you love me and I refuse to leave.  I had a good feeling about you when we met.”

 

Harry unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off.  The room was too hot but he was talking to Niall and too lazy to turn the AC a little higher.

 

“Well, I’m glad I gave you my number.  You know you were the first boy I gave my number to.  Feel special.”

 

“Oh, Harry,” he moaned in happiness.   “I am so honourer. You cheeky bastard.”

 

Harry sighed and looked at the clock on the nightstand.

 

“Well, I should go to bed.  I have to get up early and endure another day.”

 

“Oh, shit.  I didn’t realize the time.  I’ll let you go.  Have a good night.”

 

“You too, Ni.”  The line went dead and Harry was tempted to just fall asleep now but he needed to brush his teeth and get out of these trousers.

 

Tomorrow would be a better day, he told himself.  He texted his mum, not willing to start another conversation.

 

He finally climbed under the blankets and turned to the window and swore.  He forgot to close the curtains and he was too comfortable to get up.  He’d just leave it.  It was fine now but he would regret it when the sun was shining in.

 

 

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

 

 

Harry woke up in a good mood.  As good as you could feel when you had the sun blinding you.

 

Yeah, he regretted leaving the curtains open but at least it wasn’t cloudy.  However, there were a lot of clouds. So, it might become dark later.

 

He pushed himself up and groaned, rubbing his face.  He glanced at the clock and fought the urge to drop back.  He needed to get ready if he wanted to be on time for the car.

 

He made it downstairs with ten minutes to spare.  He sent a text to Niall, who sent him a very colourful Tweet.  Pissed at Harry for waking him up.  However, anything that wasn’t noon was early.

 

When he stepped out of the car and thanked the driver before walking through the door.  He made his way to the back room they were using and almost walked into the doorframe when he saw Zayn laughing with Louis.

 

 “Shit,” Harry muttered, grabbing the frame to steady himself.   The two men glanced at them.  Louis smirked and whispered something in Zayn’s ear, causing him to laugh. 

 He glared and walked to the couch, dropping down heavily.  The couch was lower than he was used to making his knees sit high.

 

Harry’s phone vibrated, pulling his attention from Louis to his phone.  It was just Niall again but instead of cursing him out again, he was thanking him. 

 

How are you going to record your album if I’m the one reminding you?

 

I would have remembered, Niall texted back right away.

 

When you are an hour late?  I know you, Niall.  You are always like this the first month you record.

 

Oh, fuck you.

 

Harry laughed at the text.  He wasn’t lying though.  He’d gotten in trouble on multiple occasions in the past four years.

 

“So, how are you, Styles?”

 

Harry looked up.  His smile dropped the second he met Louis’ eyes.

 

“Oh, didn’t look so excited, curly.  It’s only me.”

 

“Not excited and please don’t call me ‘curly’.”

 

“Why?  Don’t like it?  Might just have to keep that in mind.”

 

Harry just rolled his eyes and read over a text from Gemma, missing Zayn and Louis’ matching grins.

 

“Do whatever you want,” Harry sighed, texting Gemma in the process.  “I don’t care.”

 

“Why, curly, that’s not very nice.  We’re going to be working together for a few months.  We need to get along.”

 

Harry stood up and walked to the door before turning.  “From what you Tweet, you’re the one who needs to play nice.”

 

He grinned when he saw Louis glare and walked out.  This was only the fourth day and he already was starting shit with Louis.  He promised himself that he wasn’t going to indulge Louis but it was too hard.   He put up with this shit for too long.

 

He walked out of the room and found a corridor to wait in before they were called in.

 

 

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

 

 

The auditions were a little better today.  Still not great and Louis seemed to have it out for him.  Again.  But what else was new?

 

Things got a little heated during the break when Louis cornered him and asked if he was daft for being nice to an ‘awful’ contestant.  He did say ‘no’ but Louis apparently thought he earned it.

 

“Funny how you give me shit if I disagree with you or am ‘too’ nice when I’m telling them ‘no’.  You don’t give Sharon this attitude.  Is it because you have more respect for her?”

 

“You’re not supposed to give them false hope.  Our job as judges is to tell them yes or no.”

 

“You should tell Sharon that.  You and Simon are the only ones that are harsh.  Brutal sometimes.  Also, never touch me like that again.”

 

He pushed the older lad back, causing him to stumble.

 

“Didn’t say that when you were at the Brits.”

 

Harry stopped but didn’t turn around.  He heard the smirk in his voice.  He raised his finger causing Louis to laugh.

 

“Cute, Styles. “

 

Harry rolled his eyes again.  He felt if he continued to do, someday they would get stuck.

 

After today they had two days before they went to Edinburgh and then six days before they were in London.  He wondered if he could stay there earlier and ask Niall to stay for those days.

 

 

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

 

 

“You not any good,” Simon said, sounding bored as he fought a contestant who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.  After a vote and a second try, he still wasn’t good.  As Harry said.  Simon said dreadful and he heard Louis mutter something about losing his hearing.

 

Harry had to admit that that was funny but he wouldn’t laugh and give Louis the satisfaction of making him laugh.  He wasn’t going to lose his pride over something so trivial.

 

“Look, mate,” Louis jumped in.  “We all said no.  You’re now just embarrassing yourself.”

 

“It’s a no,” Simon added on, for what felt like the tenth time.

 

Sharon and Harry were just watching the show going on around them. 

 

Finally, after what felt like an hour, the man finally thanked them and walked away.

 

Louis sighed deeply and dropped the pen he was playing with when the other judges were talking.

 

“Hate when people are like that.  Don’t they realize if they end up on the show; that people will make fun of them?”

 

“Probably don’t realize it at the time,” Harry said as he grabbed his glass.

 

“They’re daft, then,” Louis responded and picked up his pen again. 

 

Harry realized that ever since they came back from another break that Louis hadn’t put the pen down.  It was getting annoying when he kept tapping it against the table. But he seemed to be the only one too.

 

He hummed in agreement before he startled and slammed his hand down. Sharon and Louis turned to him.

 

“Okay, curly?” Louis asked and this time his voice was soft.

 

“Just fine,” he mumbled and bit back a groan.  They were agreeing on something.  When Louis had him pressed to a wall trying to be intimidating and now they were agreeing, what was happening?  It was only the fourth day.  He couldn’t think too much into this.

 

He told himself that it was just a moment and that they would be fighting within the hour or the next time.  They weren’t friends.  They weren’t even aquatints.

 

Two more auditioned came.  The group was good but the girl needed work.  They put both through but Harry knew the girl wouldn’t last past bootcamp.

 

There was a boy that Harry thought had promise but Louis made sure that he didn’t get in.  Which was funny because they got in a fight over that girl group Louis wanted.

 

“I’m sorry,” Harry said, smiling sadly at Jay when they had to let him go.

 

“It’s fine.  It was great to meet you all.”  He smiled and walked away.

 

“He really wasn’t that bad, Louis,” Sharon said and Harry was glad someone else said it.

 

“Simon also disagreed,” Louis argued, wanting some of the attention off him.  “And we’re not gonna argue over our choices.”

 

Simon sighed and turned to them.  “You have jobs to do and I would like to continue.”

 

Simon did have a point.  Well, he basically ran the show, so they kind of had to listen to him.  Well, Harry did.  He was the new one here.  Sharon’s been on and off for the past few years.  Louis was known for his ‘feisty’ attitude.  So, they weren’t intimidated by him.  He hoped he’d be better as the show ran on.

 

He really couldn’t judge how he was doing.  They were still in the audition stage and were working with each other and would at bootcamp.  Then they got their category.

 

If he was being honest, the six-chair challenge sounded like Hell.  He wasn’t excited for that part.  A part where it was all his choice, he could get help from the judges but he made the final decision.  He was the one who decided the fate of each of his contestants and that was a realization he forgot when he was so focused on ignoring Louis now.

 

So far, he didn’t feel a pull towards any category.  All he knew was he didn’t want to do over 25s.  And it was a reality that was going to come true very soon.

 

Whenever he watched X-factor—really when Louis was on and last year when he was a judge—he never felt an urge.

 

Maybe it was a good thing the producers would assign them a group.  Then he wouldn’t have to waver through the choices.  Also, it helped the judges not to pick a favourite.

 

They listened to a few more singers before Harry felt like he was drained.  It was one bad contestant after another.  Simon got into a fight with a girl and Harry was sure that the fight would get aired.  He liked to guess which contestants or what the judges said to each other would be aired.  He had to record it when it aired.

 

It’s been a busy day and Harry was exhausted.  If this was how it was going to be like, it was it was going long week if he felt like this every day.  But he wasn’t going to complain to anyone.  Well, maybe Niall, but he asked for it.

  

He signed up for this.  Literally.  He hoped once they had all their hopefuls that it would go smoother.  They wouldn’t have to listen to anyone they said no too.

 

He was jealous of Louis having Zayn here.  He wasn’t alone and he was sure that they were talking behind his back.

 

Instead of Twitter, Louis had him in person.  He was just waiting for Louis to really go at it.  It was only the start but they already had three fights.

 

He really couldn’t wait for London.

 

ts and turned to the window and swore.  He forgot to close the curtains and he was too comfortable to get up.  He’d just leave it.  It was fine now but he would regret it when the sun was shining in.

 

 

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

 

 

Harry woke up in a good mood.  As good as you could feel when you had the sun blinding you.

 

Yeah, he regretted leaving the curtains open but at least it wasn’t cloudy.  However, there were a lot of clouds. So, it might become dark later.

 

He pushed himself up and groaned, rubbing his face.  He glanced at the clock and fought the urge to drop back.  He needed to get ready if he wanted to be on time for the car.

 

He made it downstairs with ten minutes to spare.  He sent a text to Niall, who sent him a very colourful Tweet.  Pissed at Harry for waking him up.  However, anything that wasn’t noon was early.

 

When he stepped out of the car and thanked the driver before walking through the door.  He made his way to the back room they were using and almost walked into the doorframe when he saw Zayn laughing with Louis.

 

 “Shit,” Harry muttered, grabbing the frame to steady himself.   The two men glanced at them.  Louis smirked and whispered something in Zayn’s ear, causing him to laugh. 

 He glared and walked to the couch, dropping down heavily.  The couch was lower than he was used to making his knees sit high.

 

Harry’s phone vibrated, pulling his attention from Louis to his phone.  It was just Niall again but instead of cursing him out again, he was thanking him. 

 

How are you going to record your album if I’m the one reminding you?

 

I would have remembered, Niall texted back right away.

 

When you are an hour late?  I know you, Niall.  You are always like this the first month you record.

 

Oh, fuck you.

 

Harry laughed at the text.  He wasn’t lying though.  He’d gotten in trouble on multiple occasions in the past four years.

 

“So, how are you, Styles?”

 

Harry looked up.  His smile dropped the second he met Louis’ eyes.

 

“Oh, didn’t look so excited, curly.  It’s only me.”

 

“Not excited and please don’t call me ‘curly’.”

 

“Why?  Don’t like it?  Might just have to keep that in mind.”

 

Harry just rolled his eyes and read over a text from Gemma, missing Zayn and Louis’ matching grins.

 

“Do whatever you want,” Harry sighed, texting Gemma in the process.  “I don’t care.”

 

“Why, curly, that’s not very nice.  We’re going to be working together for a few months.  We need to get along.”

 

Harry stood up and walked to the door before turning.  “From what you Tweet, you’re the one who needs to play nice.”

 

He grinned when he saw Louis glare and walked out.  This was only the fourth day and he already was starting shit with Louis.  He promised himself that he wasn’t going to indulge Louis but it was too hard.   He put up with this shit for too long.

 

He walked out of the room and found a corridor to wait in before they were called in.

 

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

 

The auditions were a little better today.  Still not great and Louis seemed to have it out for him.  Again.  But what else was new?

 

Things got a little heated during the break when Louis cornered him and asked if he was daft for being nice to an ‘awful’ contestant.  He did say ‘no’ but Louis apparently thought he earned it.

 

“Funny how you give me shit if I disagree with you or am ‘too’ nice when I’m telling them ‘no’.  You don’t give Sharon this attitude.  Is it because you have more respect for her?”

 

“You’re not supposed to give them false hope.  Our job as judges is to tell them yes or no.”

 

“You should tell Sharon that.  You and Simon are the only ones that are harsh.  Brutal sometimes.  Also, never touch me like that again.”

 

He pushed the older lad back, causing him to stumble.

 

“Didn’t say that when you were at the Brits.”

 

Harry stopped but didn’t turn around.  He heard the smirk in his voice.  He raised his finger causing Louis to laugh.

 

“Cute, Styles. “

 

Harry rolled his eyes again.  He felt if he continued to do, someday they would get stuck.

 

After today they had two days before they went to Edinburgh and then six days before they were in London.  He wondered if he could stay there earlier and ask Niall to stay for those days.

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 “You not any good,” Simon said, sounding bored as he fought a contestant who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.  After a vote and a second try, he still wasn’t good.  As Harry said.  Simon said dreadful and he heard Louis mutter something about losing his hearing.

 

Harry had to admit that that was funny but he wouldn’t laugh and give Louis the satisfaction of making him laugh.  He wasn’t going to lose his pride over something so trivial.

 

“Look, mate,” Louis jumped in.  “We all said no.  You’re now just embarrassing yourself.”

 

“It’s a no,” Simon added on, for what felt like the tenth time.

 

Sharon and Harry were just watching the show going on around them. 

 

Finally, after what felt like an hour, the man finally thanked them and walked away.

 

Louis sighed deeply and dropped the pen he was playing with when the other judges were talking.

 

“Hate when people are like that.  Don’t they realize if they end up on the show; that people will make fun of them?”

 

“Probably don’t realize it at the time,” Harry said as he grabbed his glass.

 

“They’re daft, then,” Louis responded and picked up his pen again. 

 

Harry realized that ever since they came back from another break that Louis hadn’t put the pen down.  It was getting annoying when he kept tapping it against the table. But he seemed to be the only one too.

 

He hummed in agreement before he startled and slammed his hand down. Sharon and Louis turned to him.

 

“Okay, curly?” Louis asked and this time his voice was soft.

 

“Just fine,” he mumbled and bit back a groan.  They were agreeing on something.  When Louis had him pressed to a wall trying to be intimidating and now they were agreeing, what was happening?  It was only the fourth day.  He couldn’t think too much into this.

 

He told himself that it was just a moment and that they would be fighting within the hour or the next time.  They weren’t friends.  They weren’t even aquatints.

 

Two more auditioned came.  The group was good but the girl needed work.  They put both through but Harry knew the girl wouldn’t last past bootcamp.

 

There was a boy that Harry thought had promise but Louis made sure that he didn’t get in.  Which was funny because they got in a fight over that girl group Louis wanted.

 

“I’m sorry,” Harry said, smiling sadly at Jay when they had to let him go.

 

“It’s fine.  It was great to meet you all.”  He smiled and walked away.

 

“He really wasn’t that bad, Louis,” Sharon said and Harry was glad someone else said it.

 

“Simon also disagreed,” Louis argued, wanting some of the attention off him.  “And we’re not gonna argue over our choices.”

 

Simon sighed and turned to them.  “You have jobs to do and I would like to continue.”

 

Simon did have a point.  Well, he basically ran the show, so they kind of had to listen to him.  Well, Harry did.  He was the new one here.  Sharon’s been on and off for the past few years.  Louis was known for his ‘feisty’ attitude.  So, they weren’t intimidated by him.  He hoped he’d be better as the show ran on.

 

He really couldn’t judge how he was doing.  They were still in the audition stage and were working with each other and would at bootcamp.  Then they got their category.

 

If he was being honest, the six-chair challenge sounded like Hell.  He wasn’t excited for that part.  A part where it was all his choice, he could get help from the judges but he made the final decision.  He was the one who decided the fate of each of his contestants and that was a realization he forgot when he was so focused on ignoring Louis now.

 

So far, he didn’t feel a pull towards any category.  All he knew was he didn’t want to do over 25s.  And it was a reality that was going to come true very soon.

 

Whenever he watched X-factor—really when Louis was on and last year when he was a judge—he never felt an urge.

 

Maybe it was a good thing the producers would assign them a group.  Then he wouldn’t have to waver through the choices.  Also, it helped the judges not to pick a favourite.

 

They listened to a few more singers before Harry felt like he was drained.  It was one bad contestant after another.  Simon got into a fight with a girl and Harry was sure that the fight would get aired.  He liked to guess which contestants or what the judges said to each other would be aired.  He had to record it when it aired.

 

It’s been a busy day and Harry was exhausted.  If this was how it was going to be like, it was it was going long week if he felt like this every day.  But he wasn’t going to complain to anyone.  Well, maybe Niall, but he asked for it.

 

He signed up for this.  Literally.  He hoped once they had all their hopefuls that it would go smoother.  They wouldn’t have to listen to anyone they said no too.

 

He was jealous of Louis having Zayn here.  He wasn’t alone and he was sure that they were talking behind his back.

 

Instead of Twitter, Louis had him in person.  He was just waiting for Louis to really go at it.  It was only the start but they already had three fights.

 

He really couldn’t wait for London.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone doesn't like Sharon, I'd be happy to change it. If you have any suggestions, please share them.


	3. Auditions Pt 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter took longer than I wanted. This chapter was giving me problems and then my neighbours (who are putting up a fence) cut our wires for our cable, so we didn't have internet for three days and I lost four thousand words. I did my best but I'm not thrilled. I didn't want you to wait any longer, though.0
> 
> Hope you all enjoy it.

He walked into the hotel, sighing in relief at the realization that he didn’t need to check in and the fact the Louis was at another hotel, as the rest to the judges were.

As relaxed as he should have felt walking into his room, he was reminded that Niall was running behind and wouldn’t be here for another hour or two.

He set to unpacking.  He never got why people lived out of their suitcases while travelling.  Gemma always did and it pissed him off when she couldn’t find something.  Clothes got wrinkled and he hated wrinkled clothes.  Also, he wore fabrics that were a bitch when wrinkled.

He looked around the room and sighed.  The producers didn’t have a problem with him asking for a room with an extra bed but they took it as a bigger room.  He was put up in a suite with the other bed through a doorway.   He didn’t think it would bother Niall all that much.

A sharp knocked brought Harry out of his mind.

Before he could get the door fully open the person shoved himself in.

“Really, Niall?”

The blond just smiled widely as he pulled the taller boy in for a hug.  “Harry, it’s been so long.”

“It hasn’t even been a month.  And I was the one suffering.”

“Were you?”  Niall eyed him up and down.  “You look fine to me.”

“Figure of speech and you’re late.” 

“Yeah.   Sorry.  But I’m here now and I’m all yours until Thursday.  Also, I was expecting to see Louis.”

“He’s at another hotel or penthouse.  I don’t really know and I’d rather not think about him until tomorrow.”

Niall dropped his bag on the floor before flopping down on the bed.

“I still don’t get why you stay in these rooms when you know they will pay for the best rooms.

Harry frowned.  They had that conversation years ago but he doubted Niall remembered.  He never liked big spaces where he was alone.  He liked cozy spaces that felt intimate.

“I already told you and I don’t want to repeat myself.”

The other lad looked like he wanted to protest but thought against it.

“Okay.  Fair.  So, can I be there tomorrow?”

Harry would love that but he wasn’t sure if they could have guests—or if Harry could have guests more specifically.   “I don’t know.  I’m not sure if you can.”

“Louis has Zayn,” Niall argued and jumped off the bed.  “Zayn is here.”

“Zayn is the host,” Harry deadpanned as he stepped to the bed. 

“So.  They’re friends and you know they talk shit about you.”

Harry turned to the Irish lad and gaped at him.  “What the hell, Nail?”

“Don’t act like you’re shocked!  Louis does it on Twitter.  You know he does it now because you’re here.”   

Harry groaned and dropped on the edge of his bed.  He dropped his head in his hands. 

“I know, Niall.  I didn’t need to be reminded.  This is my day off.  Can we not talk about Louis?”

The thought had been on his mind for days.  He knew Louis couldn’t tweet anything.  They weren’t allowed to before the show aired.  And he was glad Louis didn’t have his number.   He was sure if Louis stayed, he would have given his number.  He knew that no matter how that night went, they would still have ended up here.

It’s just sad that he didn’t regret giving himself to Louis.  He regretted that he let his feelings cloud his judgment.  It was his fault that they were here.  Not Louis.  And if Niall knew he thought like that, he would probably kill him. 

He got himself into this mess.  He thought Louis was who he showed the media.  But he sadly proved that the media Louis was only a character.  Or maybe he was the only one who got a different Louis.  He was kind in interviews.  On tours and interacting with fans.  And when Louis teased him, his fans backed him up, making him feel like shit.  It was one thing for the tweets to come from Louis but then the fans just had to voice in.

Someday he would get Louis’ respect.  Maybe if he won the X-Factor or ten years down the road or maybe in a tragic car crash.  He didn’t want to die but maybe that would be the only thing he could do to get Louis to respect him.  Or maybe he never would.

“And it’s only been ten days.  I think it’s too early to judge Louis.”

Even he knew he was lying.  He could judge Louis from all the years he was harassed.  It wouldn’t change.  His only hope was to win and they were nowhere near that day.

“Sorry, Haz.”  He sat by Harry and nudged him.  “So, how is this compared for touring?  A lot fewer people, huh?”

“Yeah.  A lot less but more twats who argue with you and dis you.  Also, I’m the only one who gets dismissed the most.  And Louis makes sure that happens.”

“I would love to see how Louis is handling this.”

Harry furrowed his brows and frowned.  “Why do you care?”

“I don’t.  But I want to know how the twat is dealing with seeing you and having to work with you.”

“Probably doesn’t care.  Bet he’s struggling with not being allowed to tweet.  I think it won’t be long before Louis starts to take the fights in person.”

It’s already happening.  Not a real fight, but he hurt Harry with his words.  He thought Louis would be a coward and hide behind the screen.  No.  He was wrong.  When it came to him, there were no rules for Louis.

“Please let me come so I can see it.  Please.”

“I really don’t know if you can.  I would like for you but I don’t know if you can.”

“Then ask.  And tell me tomorrow.”

Harry sighed as he pulled his hair.  “You really not going to leave this?”

“Nope.  And you owe me for coming here.”

“I thought you came here to support me!”

Niall smirked and flopped back.  “I did.  But it’s funny how defensive you get.”

“I’m like that because I had to defend myself.”

Niall sat up and smiled sheepishly.  “You’re right.  Sorry.”

“It’s fine.  Hey, I meant to ask you but I didn’t want to say this over the phone-”

“What do you-”

“Will you shut up and let me finish?”

The boy grinned sheepishly and muttered a ‘sorry’.

“Anyway,” Harry drawled out.  “Will you be my guest for the judge’s house?”

“Really?” Niall perked up.

“Well, yeah.  Don’t really know anyone else well enough and your album sales are good enough.”

Niall gasped and shoved Harry.  “You dick.  I was famous before you and just because you passed me in sales doesn’t mean I’m not relevant anymore.”

Harry swore, catching himself before he fell.  “Yeah.  Yeah.  So, will you do it?”

Niall hummed for a moment, acting like he was thinking.

“Just answer, Niall.  You want to see this shit.  I’m giving you a chance.”

“’Couse, I will.  Did they say where your house will be?”

“Not yet.  Probably still too early, but we’re filming that part in late August, I think.”

He was sure whatever house he would use would be more than he would have as a place for himself.  He did have a place but it was much smaller than Niall’s, not that he was complaining.  He was considering getting a bigger place.  After a few years when he has been in the business longer.

It was to kind of brag.  Show how much money they all had.  Well, that’s what he thought when he watched last year and saw all the houses.  Even though it was all fake.  He figured there was some truth to it.

He wondered if Louis was going to have the same house as last year.  Simon and the other judges in the past never went to the same place.  Which just proved that the houses weren’t theirs.

“Big time gap.”

“Yeah.  And the live shows are the beginning of October.”

“Well, I know where I’ll be.  Harassing the hell out of you.”

Are you really going to be there each show?” 

He didn’t believe it.  Niall had his own life and he was recording an album.  However, the show was at night.  So maybe Niall meant it.

“Maybe not all but I’ll be there.”

“I say don’t come until the middle.  It’s a little boring until it kind of gets serious.”

Niall moved back, resting his back against the headboard.  He kicked his feet out, pushing Harry to the side.

“I don’t think you should be saying that as a judge.”

“Probably right.  But you can’t deny it.”

“True.  But it’s like most shows.  I have to say, the best part out of this show is the six-chair challenge.  Get to see get rough.”

Harry shifted, turning to face Niall.  “I won’t be like that.  That role belongs to Louis.  He has no problem telling people what he thinks.  Or Simon.  They’re both the same.”

Really, he was making his opinion of Louis as a judge too personal. He was nothing like Simon.  Honest but not as harsh as Simon.  He was the best judges in this show.  Also, bias.  He did laugh but what judge didn’t laugh at least once?

“Still.  I can’t wait to see you having to be on your own.  I won’t miss that.”

Harry felt dread fill him.  They were filming the six-chair challenge in a few weeks and he wasn’t ready.  He didn’t know why.  He was used to the attention.  He had to be.  But this time it felt different.  In a concert, his fans came because they wanted to.  With the six-chair, he knew a lot of people would agree or give him hate.  There was no pleasing everyone.

“You know that’s going to be agonizing.  I have to be the one to decide who I want on my team.  With no help.  At least with the live show the public votes.”

“Maybe for you.  For me, this is going to be so entertaining.  Being a judge is so not you.”

“Hey!  What the fuck does that mean?” Harry snapped, glaring at the blond.  He’s been on Niall to just stop but the lad never listened.

“I’m not saying you can’t do this.  But even you have to admit that this is a new role for you.  You are helping people.  But you have to crush a few dreams to do that.”

“You know, you’re sounding like Louis.”

“I’m sorry.  But even your fans are tweeting it.  They are excited, though.  I am too.  I also want to see you destroy Louis and finally win.”

Harry scoffed and smirked.  “I’m the first.  Just hope the people I get are good enough to win.  I’m going to try my hardest.  No matter what.”

“Good for you, Haz.”

“We still have five days of auditions and then bootcamp and then we get our groups.”

“Who do want to mentor?  If you had the pick.”

“I don’t want the overs,” the lad said without thinking.  It’s been on his mind since Liverpool.  “But then I realized that if I get the girls, then the rumours are going to start again.  They won’t focus on the singing.  They probably will just think I was choosing them on their looks.  I also should wear t-shirts.”

Niall frowned and tilted his head.  “How do you think?”

“You see the articles.  When I started to change my look, they always said how I kept my shirt opened was a bit sexual.”

“And your fans love the look.  I don’t think they will mind.  They all said you look hot with your hair, your tight jeans and your shirts.”

“I do too.  Well, I should.  I’m the one who picked this.  It’s just sometimes the articles just get to be too much.”

“Just the repercussion you have to deal with.  And fuck what they say.  Your fans think you look hot.  And I have to agree.”

Harry smirked and raised his eyebrows.

“What?  I’m comfortable with my sexuality.  I can admit when I think a bloke is good looking.”

“Well, thank you?”

“Just own it.  I know you can.  You are fine.”

Harry nodded and hugged himself.  He was confident in his look.  He felt more himself.  He was able to be himself.  It’s the public.   But Niall was right.  He needed to own it.  He wasn’t in school anymore.  He was free to be himself.  Well, as much as Management let him.  Which, was reasonable.  He was allowed to dress how he wanted.  So, he was glad he was out by the time he was signed.  They didn’t let him have a public boyfriend but he was sure the industry knew, the public didn’t but speculated. 

They girls they set him up with weren’t rumoured girlfriends but management didn’t deny the rumours.  Maybe if he won, he could officially come out.  He’d have to ask.

“Thanks, Niall.  I still don’t want the girls,” he joked, laughing a little.  He still didn’t want the overs.

“Well, since you have to works with Louis, I think you should get what you want for once.”

“Well, let’s hope the producers agree with you.”

Tomorrow was the first of the London auditions and he really wanted Niall to come but he was sure that he wasn’t allowed to have him there.  Maybe if he joined a few years later, then he would have more f a say.

“Anyway,” Niall jumped up and clapped his hands.  “I’m done with this heartfelt shit.  Let’s go eat.”

“You know, can you not complain about food for once?”

Niall just smiled and pulled Harry to the door.  “Nope.”

 

 

*****

 

 

They were ushered into the judging room they had set up for their stay in London.

Harry was the happiest he’d been all week.  He stayed up late, which probably wasn’t the best ides, with Niall.  It was nice to have someone here and not having to call and worth it.

He wondered if each judge got tired after the audition round.  He couldn’t be the only one.  Maybe it was just because he was new. 

He glanced at Louis who was looking at his phone.

“Okay, are you ready?” one of the crew members asked and Simon signalled the start.  This was day one out of three days.  Hopefully, Niall wasn’t the only good thing about London.

He almost got into it with Niall when the boy argued that he came here for Harry and not for a hotel room.  Even though he reminded the lad each time they called.

He won the lad back by offering to take him out and paying for the whole thing.  Which was probably going to be a bad thing.  Whenever you offered free food to Niall, he took advantage of it.

The first up was a group call _Rewind_ , which, okay?  They were really good but their name wasn’t working.  If they made it through, Simon might get them to change it. He did do that to some in the past.

They got four yeses but it was too early to tell if today would be a good day.

It did continue, though.  It was only mid-day but they already had fourteen contestants.

He just walked out of the loo, answering a text from Niall.  He jumped and nearly dropped his phone when he heard someone call him.

“Shit,” he gasped h3 when caught his phone.  He didn’t want to break this one when Niall accidentally broke his other one last month.

“Easy, Styles.  You know it’s dangerous when you are distracted.”

Harry glared at the man himself before walking away.

“You know, it’s not nice to ignore someone when they are talking to you.  Especially when they are working with you.”

Zayn laughed, making Harry feel hot inside.  He hated when Zayn was around.  The two were always obnoxious together.  Not that they weren’t when they were alone.  It’s just was worst when they were together.

“Funny.  I thought you were just commenting.”

He turned and just stared at them.  Louis still smirked, not intimidated in the slightest.  And why wouldn’t he?  He was the one picking the fights.  He wouldn’t back down.

He didn’t know why he had this sudden burst of confidence when he was around Louis.  But at night he was stressing about what he said and what Louis said.  He was fake. 

“Also, like you don’t ignore me?  Oh wait,” Harry said in mock realization.  “You rather pick fights.”

Louis stepped forward and Harry would have admitted that Louis was hot when he was angry if he wasn’t trying to keep his nerves in check.  The last time someone did this to him was the last day in school and he got punched.  He figured Louis wouldn’t but he was still scared.

“The tabloids are right: you’re so fake.”  And then Louis walked away, Zayn following close by.

He felt tears burn in his eyes and rushed into the loo again.  He wasn’t going to cry where anyone could see him.

Fake was one of the first things the article said after he was a little too cheery in an interview and since then he was faced with articles and rumours that what people saw was an act. 

He wanted to call Niall but he knew if he did, he would end up crying.  He also didn’t have the time.

He looked at himself in the mirror.  He pushed his hair out of the way and stared at his reflection.  His eyes were glassy with unshed tears.  If he let them out, it would be known that he had been crying.  They didn’t need to know that he was weak as well as “fake”.

If people were to look in, they would think he was overreacting over a simple comment.  Simple for anyone else but him.  What people didn’t know that years of bullying, taunting and harassing didn’t stop him from being himself but apparently in this world, everyone acted.  Or so it seemed.

He splashed water on his face and looked at his reflection.  He tugged at his shirt and buttoned it up, leaving only one open.  He felt too exposed right now.

He glanced at his phone and swore.  He rushed out of the loo and to the chairs.  He was the first one and didn’t have to give Louis the satisfaction that he made him late

Auditions went on.  Uneventfully.  Well, for Harry.  There were some horrible auditions and some arrogant people.

He really wasn’t present.  He kept his smile so the cameras didn’t catch him in defeat.  He wasn’t acting like he was happy.  He was acting like he was happy around Louis.

That was his act. 

When they had their last break of the day, Harry just sat in his seat.  He waited until they all left before he got up and walked around the table.  He moved where all the contestants stood.

It was intimidating.  He wondered if that’s what everyone felt when they came in.  It had to be hard having four people judge you when you made yourself vulnerable.

If he wasn’t here as a judge, would he get in?  Probably not.  Would he even try out?  Probably.  He would still be in school for photography.  He just got lucky.  That’s all it was. 

There was a time before uni that he entertained the idea of trying out.  That idea lasted until he realized there would be a chance his audition would air and he didn’t need the chance of people hating him.  Open mic nights at pubs were the safest.  He wouldn’t be on the telly.

He moved over to stand in front of Louis’ spot.  He didn’t know about everyone else but his side was intimidating. 

Would Louis be as harsh to him if he didn’t hate him?  If he was a nobody.  If he was still in school, he probably wouldn’t even dress like this.  He would stay the same boy that kept his head down and didn’t talk.  Only, he would be happy.  Doing something that he liked.  However, this was something he loved.  He just wished he didn’t have so much hate.  Why couldn’t he be like Louis?

He walked back to centre and took a deep breath.  How much he was happy that he was behind the table.

He didn’t notice but Louis stood off to the side, shielded from the backdrop, watching Harry.

 

 

*****

 

 

When Harry walked through his door, he almost passed out when he dropped on his bed.  London was supposed to better than the previous cities.  But this was the worst.  He could always handle Louis teasing—if he could call it that.  This was different.   Louis touch on a subject that always made him sensitive.

It was only the audition round.  What was the rest going to be like?

He was just closing his eyes when his phone vibrated, which was a close call.  He couldn’t fall asleep.

“Shit!” he cried when he read the text.  “I am so sorry, Niall,” rushed out when line picked up.  “I forgot.  I’m on my way.”

Niall just laughed and it was a sound that almost made him cry.  He didn’t know why but when he was leaving he saw Zayn and Louis whispering.  It was too low to hear but he caught his name and he almost dropped there.

He didn’t care about anything and went to his room when he was supposed to meet Niall at the pub the lab wanted to go to.

“Are you fine, H?  If your tired, we can go out before you have to go to Surrey.”

“No.  No,” Harry said as he grabbed his card key.  “I’m coming.  I’ll be there in fifteen?”

Niall laughed again.  “No rush.  I can keep myself entertained until you get here.”

“I’ll be there soon,” he said before hanging up.

Niall was chatting up a girl when Harry walked into the pub.  He really wasn’t in the mood to be around people.  He wanted to stay in his room and wallow.  But Niall came here for him, he could go out for Niall.

“Hey, Sorry I’m late.”

Niall and the girl turned when Harry arrived.  “You’re finally here.”

“Finally,” Harry echoed and smiled at the girl.  “Hi.  I’m Harry.”

The girl giggled and took his hand.  “A bloke who shakes, I like it.  I’m Sam.”

Harry blushed.  He didn’t get to comment on when he shook people’s hands.  Also, someone liked it.

“I’m just keeping her company until her girlfriend gets back.”

“Had to take a call,” Sam explained.  “And he just came up and we started getting into it about football.”

Harry raised his eyebrows and smirked. 

“Hey, she said some things that were bullshit.”

“Like your defences were any better.”

Harry really didn’t get how Niall could just start a conversation with anyone and keep it going.

A tall woman with curly brown came up and wrapped her arm around Sam.

“Hey, babe.  Sorry about that.  Hey” she said to Niall.  “I’m Jessica.”

Niall nodded and smiled.  “I’m Niall and this Harry.”  He threw his thumb his way.

“Hi,” Harry said.

“Nice to meet you.  Anyway, ready to go,” she asked, turning to Sam.

“I am,” she pushed up from the stool and smiled at both boys.  “It was nice to meet you two.”

“Same,” Niall said as he waved.  “Okay, sit.”  He patted the empty seat.

Harry slid on the cushioned stool and turned to face Niall.

“So, what did you do today?” Harry asked as Niall finished his pint.  He wondered how many he’s had already.

He wasn’t going to drink.  He didn’t want to end up sloshed.  When he was with Niall, he always found he had more than he usually did.  And today wasn’t appropriate.

“Just walked around.  Came here about an hour ago.”

“And how many have you had?  Because I am not dealing with you when you’re pissed.”

“This is my second,” he defended.  “I know.  Calm your tits.”

“I’m just going to get something to eat.”  He waved down the woman who was serving the man, two people, down from him.

He ordered chips and a glass of water. 

“I really wish I could get drunk,” Harry mumbled, rubbing his forehead as the woman walked away.

“Well, after the sixth, you don’t have to film until the ninth.  Want to get drunk then?”

Yeah,” Harry sighed.  “Thanks.”  He grabbed his water as it was placed on the counter with the chips placed between them.

“Had a good day?”

Harry hummed, taking a sip from his water.  Did he really want to tell Niall here?  He was supposed to be out and enjoy this moment.  Outside of filming was supposed to be his break. 

“I’ll tell you later.  I just want to have fun tonight.  We had a good turn out.”

“If you’re sure.  Are you sure you don’t want to drink?”

“I’m sure,” Harry smirked, trying to act as normal as possible.  “If I start, I probably won’t be able to stop after today.”

“Oh!” Niall grinned.  “Now there’s a story.”

“There is,” Harry agreed as he took some chips.  “Just not now.  Don’t think this the right place.  And it’s not what you think.”

“A pub is not the right place for shit talking?”  Niall sounded offended and Harry had to roll his eyes at that.

“It is.  But I can’t talk here.  You are not supposed to know this shit until it airs.”

Niall hummed and pulled the basket of chips towards him.  “Fair enough.  But you are talking when we get back.”

Harry nodded then pulled the basket towards him.  “Now give me the chips.”

“Just order some more.”

Harry shook his head and sighed with a smile.  I should have known it’s impossible to share with you.”

“You’re just realizing that now,” Niall laughed as he took a drink of his pint.  “Also, this is your treat.”

“No.  I just forgot.  I had a shit day.  Leave me alone.”

“Oh, I know.  I want to go back and hear what Louis did.”

Harry furrowed his brows and tilted his head.  “How do you know it was Louis?”

“Well, I doubt it was Simon.  Though, I am shocked that hasn’t happened yet.”

“Probably will be soon.”

“Can you at least tell me the success stories?”

The younger lad looked around.  One good thing about a pub was people were either too drunk or socialize.  No one was paying attention to them.

“There was a boy named Oliver that I liked.  Louis didn’t but he got in.  Louis really liked this girl named Emma, which I’m glad I liked her because I wasn’t in the mood to fight by the point.  Also, Peter, who Simon and Sharon loved but Louis ended up agreeing that he wasn’t that great.”

“I sense a ‘but’,” Niall smirked around the rim of his glass.

“I caved and said yes.”

“Well, I’m sure it won’t be that bad.  If the votes were split originally, I doubt he’d get far.”

“Maybe.  There are really a few people I remember from Liverpool and that’s not a good thing when your-”

“Do you really remember all those people by bootcamp?  Like, I’m sure there are some that you’ll remember but do judges remember all the people that get into bootcamp.  I highly doubt it.”

“Probably.  But I feel like I’m being left out on a secret or something.”

“Maybe but you can’t worry about them.  Even Louis.”

Niall waved down the woman to order a burger.  Harry thought he should have something more than chips and water but his stomach twisted at the thought.

“I’m here for you, H. But you have to let me in.  I won’t spill.  I do know how to keep my mouth closed.

“I know, Niall,” Harry sighed.  “I just feel like I’m overreacting about everything.”

“Maybe you are or maybe you aren’t.  It just shows that you still have feelings and-”

“You mean weak?”

“No.  You thought this would be a fresh start and then-”

“I know.  I know,” the brunet sighed.  “Can we wait until we are in the room.  This is your night.”

Niall pursed his lips but stayed silent.  He knew when Harry didn’t need to be pushed.

 

 

*****

 

 

Harry looked at himself in the mirror.  He was supposed to the judges’ room soon but he couldn’t.  He was stripped.  He was wearing what he does when he was on tour.  But he wasn’t right now.

He was just in a white t-shirt and black skinny jeans.  The only things he kept of himself were his cross and his boots.  He took off his rings, which he didn’t.  If he didn’t feel like he wanted to wear them, he just wore one or two.

Louis said he was fake.  So now he was stripped.  Nothing to hide behind.   He wondered if Simon would bitch about wearing a t-shirt but he really couldn’t care.  That’s what he wore every time he was on the show.

Niall bitched when he saw Harry, arguing he was letting Louis win.  He just shrugged, causing the older lad to storm out or the room.  He knew Niall was right, but it was his crutch.  He couldn’t erase years of physical and verbal abuse without any help.  So, he was falling to what he knew best.  Niall also left before Harry could surprise his that he could join them today.  He was on his own again.

With a deep breath, he left the room and walked to the judges’ table. 

Everyone was setting up.  Sharon greeted him and Simon just nodded.  Louis was already sat, so he couldn’t look at him.

That was fine.  He didn’t need a comment on his clothes right now.  He was dressed as he did over two years ago.  And he wouldn’t admit that he liked it.  He did wear this look when he was home or visiting his mum.

It’s just, this was the look the media liked and he didn’t want them to think he was going back because he wasn’t.  And by now, his fans loved his new look.

The day started off great, like yesterday but he wasn’t counting on it to last.  Not after how yesterday went.

The day started off with a thirty-five-year-old woman.  Her voice was nice but there was no depth.  She could just carry a note.  That was it, so he was surprised when he was the only one to say no.

When Sharon and Louis both said ‘yes’, he realized his mistake.  It was only the first audition and he gave Louis a free pass.  He was fucked.

When possible, Harry would wait for Louis’ answer before he went.  It was not professional at all and he would get shit from Niall but anything to get Louis to leave him alone.

Sadly, or luckily, he didn’t know, it seldom happened.  It seemed like every ten auditions, Louis would go before Harry.

Maybe it was lucky.  He had a job.  He shouldn’t let his feelings get in the way of his judgment.

When a boy of eighteen came in, his face lit up when he was Harry.  The man was busy smiling back that he didn’t realize Louis’ gaze.

“Hi,” Harry said, taking this one. 

“Hi,” the boy said, still smiling.

“And what’s your name?”

“Ashley but my mates call me Ash.”

“Great name,” Harry smirked.  “And how old are you?”

“Eighteen.”  The boy sounded nervous saying that.  It wasn’t like he was the only seventeen-tea-old to come through.  He also wasn’t the youngest.

“Nice age,” Harry said.  For him, it was.  He finally came out to his family that year and helped lift the weight he’d been carrying for three years when he realized he was gay.

“Thanks.  Bit scary when you have the pressure of figuring out what you want to do after school.”

Harry remembered those days.  But he always knew he wanted to do photography.  Sings was just a fantasy at the time.

“I agree.  So, what are you going to sing for us?” he asked before Louis could jump in and tell him to stop acting like it’s a date.  Simon and Sharon had laughed at that.  He would have flipped him off if the cameras weren’t recording.

“ _Perfect_ by Ed Sheeran.”

“Okay.”

Harry didn’t want to be biased but the boy was the best he heard and was actually his favourite.  He just hoped everyone else thought so too.

This moment, Harry figured which group he would love to have.  If he had the choice, he would pick the boys.  He just wished that getting the boys would be a sign that this was a good choice to join.

Ash got four yeses and Harry had to hide his excitement.   If he showed his excitement and Louis saw, he might have challenged it.  That would be unprofessional and he didn’t think Louis would be like that to the contestants.  However, it was Harry, who knew.

They still had three more days of auditions.  Things might get going at bootcamp or the six-challenge.  The live shows for sure.  The judges’ houses part was going to be his safe haven.  Louis wouldn’t be there.  And he could pick without Louis’ input

They saw a few more people before they took a break.  Harry still didn’t go in the room the judges had to relax.  He liked to be on his own during these times.

He also avoided that place after he ran into Zayn and Louis in Manchester.

He wanted to text Niall but he was going to see him tonight.  Better save that so they didn’t have to sit in silence.

He heard voices coming closer and he swore when he realized it was Louis.  He was in a hallway without any door.  Not like it mattered.  He was here first.

He looked up and met Louis’ eyes.  He raised his eyebrows when Louis stopped.  Only this time, Louis didn’t speak.  He dropped his eyes, frowning in confusing as he ran his eyes up and down Harry’s body. 

He kept his stare straight.  He felt Zayn’s eyes on him but he wasn’t going to look away.

When Louis finally looked up, his mouth was slightly open, like was about to say something.  He grabbed Zayn’s arm instead and walked away.

He wanted to feel proud but he didn’t know what Louis was thinking.  All he knew was that he finally made Louis a lost for words.  It wasn’t because what he thought was too rude.  He knew Louis didn’t have a filter when it came to him.

One point for Harry. 

By the end the found two girls; Laura and Steph and a group called _Elegance._ Not the best name but they one of the better groups they’ve heard out of all the auditions.

 

 

*****

 

 

Harry stayed dressed like he did when he was nineteen.  Louis still looked at him oddly but never said anything.  As much as he hated when Louis commented, the nice way of stating it, he wanted it.  He wanted to know what Louis thought. 

It was a sick realization but he was addicted.  And then he got hurt. It was a never-ending cycle and Harry didn’t know why he wanted it but he hated it at once.

He wasn’t about to tell Niall.  He was sure the Irish lad would send him to the hospital.

Louis was openly staring at him, still not saying anything.

“Yes?” he tried to see if Louis would speak.

Louis jumped like he didn’t realize Harry could see him staring.

 Louis just tilted his head as if trying to figure Harry out.  He left without saying anything.

Harry shook his head and muttered.  “Who’s ignoring now.”

He followed behind Louis to the Judges’ table.

It was their first day in Surrey and the second last day of auditions before bootcamp.

There really wasn’t any excitement now.  It was the same thing since they started.  He was in the need for a change. 

As they waited for the next auditions Harry felt eyes burning in the side of his face.  He turned and met Louis’ gaze. Harry felt his throat go dry.  For the first time today, he let himself stare at Louis.   He looked soft today.

They both just stared at each other until Sharon spoke.  Both jumped and looked to the front to see a man about twenty-eight standing in front of them.

Harry pushed a hand through his hair, twirling a curl. He really hoped the camera wasn’t focused on them.

The man was named Daniel and he was from London. As soon as the man sang, Harry was sent back to when he was sixteen.  He was singing Louis audition song. The song that started it all.

He really wanted to look at Louis.  See if he realized.  If he did, Louis had to.

When he was finished Simon spoke.  “I remember another boy who sang that song for his audition.”

Harry could feel the eye roll from Louis or maybe that was just his imagination.

“But I say you did better, mate,” Louis cheered, looking at Simon and then Daniel.

“Yours’s was just fine,” Harry muttered and did look up when he realized he was mic’d and it probably picked it up. 

If he was being honest, Louis’ version was better and it wasn't biased.  The man couldn’t hit the high note as high as Louis did.

Sharon just continued and Harry was thankful that they were acting like they didn’t hear.  Which they may not have.  He hoped.

When he got to speak, all he said was he was great and he’d love to hear more.  He gave a 'yes' just to cover himself.  He still would have if he didn’t say anything

Next up was a group and Harry had to keep his face neutral.  Everything was wrong with them.  He knew he couldn’t judge based on looks.  But they looked like some of the boys who made his life hell.  Their stance, their attitude and their looks, which was the worst part.  Actually, the worst part was that they were actually good and Harry had to bury his pride.

It was almost a breaking point when one lad asked him who he was and Louis laugh.  Simon almost choked on the sip of water he took.  Sharon had the decency to try to hide her smirk.

This day was a constant flashback to his time at school.  He remembered when he got paired up with a boy named Spencer Hail and he had to ask the teacher who he was.

He plastered on a smile and just said his name.  The boys got four yeses, so they didn’t really care who he was.  He was tempted to say no but they still would have gotten through.

“I'm surprised that someone didn’t know you, Styles,” Louis chuckled after the group left.  Sharon then giggled and Harry just shrugged nonchalantly.

At that moment, he rejected his comment.  He regretted ever being nice to Louis today.

“Looks like it.”

And he was sure this moment would be one.  It was funny to viewers when contestants didn’t know who the judges were.  And this just proved how much he was behind Louis.  He just never met anyone who really said it.

Not even Louis.  He was in Simon and Sharon’s shadows.  But they didn’t tweet.  Probably only knew about him when he signed.  Well, Sharon.  Simon must have known since he asked for him to be a judge.

Maybe he was never to step out of Louis’ shadow if the public thought so.

He didn’t want groups now.  If they made it past bootcamp, he had to deal with him and he didn’t know if he would be given an opportunity to send them home.  He didn’t want them to have a chance to win. 

He knew he shouldn’t compare his personal life here but this day was already draining him.  What’s next.  A guy named Matt?  He might actually quit and deal with the breach of contract.

He braved the lounge room at break and sat in a chair, avoiding any chance of Louis joining him.

He was texting Gemma, who was the only one replying. Niall wasn’t and he knew he wasn’t recording today, so he didn’t know what was going on there.

 _You got this, little bro_ , was the text his sister sent him this morning and at the time, he did.  Now, the text was a lie.  He didn’t have this.  He wanted to tell her about the group but that would be too hard to do over text.   This situation couldn’t be handled through text.

_Thanks, Gems.  I’ll call tonight?_

He stared at the wall as he waited for a reply.  He considered telling Gemma about Louis.  He never told her about what happened at the Brits and not what’s going on now.  She knew that the media was spinning a feud.  He didn’t tell here how true the Louis parts were.  He wouldn’t tell.  He wouldn’t tell his mum.  He was used to dealing with this on his own.  He survived school on his own.  He could deal with this.

Once the show started to air, they would be texting or calling him once they saw what Louis was saying.

He didn’t want them to think it was just Louis’ fault.  He gave Louis the chances.  He asked for them.

His phone buzzed and dropped it as he jumped.  Louis words of how it’s dangerous to be distracted echoed.  It was so loud that he thought Louis was in the room.

He smiled as he read the text.  It was just her banging on how it took him hours to write back.  He didn’t want to get into it today so he was glad he could avoid it until tonight where he had to tell Gemma about the boys.

“Harry?”

This time, Harry didn’t jump.  “Yes?”

“We’re ready.”

He looked to the clocked and jumped.  “Shit.  Sorry, got talking.”  He waved her phone and smiled at Sharon.

“You’re not late.  Just was walking by.”

“Thanks, though.”

They walked back to the room, ready for the last round of auditions for the day.

This day was a constant flashback but by now, he didn’t feel the need to cry or scream.  It wasn’t that unusual when people forgot his name.  He always thought they should address him as ‘Louis Tomlinson’s shadow.  As long as nothing else happened, he could escape relatively unscathed.

If only that were true.  He spoke too soon.  The next boy walked in.  A boy from Brighton, tall, and twenty-four.

“And what is your name, mate?” Louis asked.

“Matt,” the boy answered.

Harry felt his blood run cold and his heart drop.  Before he realized what he was doing, he was talking.

“I’m sorry.  What?”

He felt all the judges’ eyes on him as Matt repeated his name.

Harry nodded and muttered a ‘sorry’

This couldn’t be happening.  What was this day?  This day was like a ghost of his past.  Out of all the names, it had to be  _Matt_?  The boy that made sure to make his life hell in school.  The boy who tripped, kicked and punch him.  The boy who broke his glasses one time.

The universe hated him or something.  This wasn’t a coincident.  This was punishment because he got out too easily.  He had a good four years, minus Louis, and now his time was up. 

He wanted to slam his head down but the cameras reminded him that he couldn’t.

He had to tell himself that this wasn’t Matt Evans.  This was Matt… Actually, he didn’t know his last name.

He felt like he was drowning.  First, the boys being a copied of a group who harassed him.  Then one didn’t know who he was.  And now fucking Matt?  He was quitting.  He could get sued.  He didn’t care.

His hands felt clammy.  His heartbeat was erratic.  And he was sure he was close to hyperventilating.  He’d rather hold his breath and pass out than let everyone in the room know he was losings his nerve. 

Maybe not.  He didn’t fancy passing out on the floor.

To make it worse, he only got the end of the audition but the boy could sing.  Fuck.  He was going to have to swallow his pride and give him a ‘yes’.

As he expected, Matt got four yeses.   Well, three and one reluctant one.

They finished off the day without another issue.  Harry was practically bouncing in his chair wanting to get back and call Gemma. 

There was a girl up next and he could tell by Louis enthusiasm that he liked her.  Her name was Olivia and was twenty-one.  She was also blonde, skinny and tall.  Well, tall for a girl.  He was reminded of the girls at school but she was the sweets contestant they’ve had.  Unlike Matt, his 'yes' was genuine.

They ended the day after a few more people and when he was allowed to leave.  He bid everyone a goodnight and rushed to his car.  He really wished he could drive himself but today he was glad he had his driver.

 

 

*****

 

 

That night Louis was in his room with Zayn who was Skyping Liam.

“So,” Liam said, through the screen.  “How’s Harry?  Any fights today?”

“Liam,” Zayn wanted and he shifted so Louis could see him.

“What?  I’m just asking.  He’s been bitching about him since day one.”

“Yeah but it’s best to just let him vent,” Zayn argued.

Louis rolled his eyes as he walked to stand behind Zayn.  “He was so weird today.  Like, I don’t know how to explain it.  There was this one guy, Matt, and Harry was like checked out.  He just said yes and nothing else.”

“When I talked to him, he seemed like an okay bloke.”

“Apparently everyone but Harry thought so.”

Liam sighed and rolled his eyes.  “I don’t get why have it out for the boy.  What did he do?”

Louis didn’t know what the real answer to that question.  If he knew, he would have confronted Harry already.  But, it was fun to see Harry get worked up.  He liked to mess with the boy and get a reaction out of him.  He never did until Liverpool.  It proved that Harry hid behind his phone.  Louis finally saw the boy for who he was.

Fame did change people.  And if Harry was like this for the rest of filming, they would not get along.  He was glad he had Zayn here.  Dealing with Harry was easier.

“I have nothing against him.  He ignored me for the first day and it’s been the same each day.”

Liam hummed and looked between the two boys.  He didn’t look convinced but that’s Liam.  He always tried to find the best in people before making a judgment.

“Honestly, Liam.  If we are both telling you the same thing, it’s not a lie,” Louis snapped.

“Zayn’s not saying a thing.  And have you ever thought that it’s just you?  Maybe he’s had enough of you,” Liam argued.  “And why do you agree with him?”

Zayn rolled his.  “I’m not.  I just find it easier to not say anything.  I haven’t talked to Harry directly or tweeted.”

“Still. You-”

“When you come back, you’ll see,” Louis said, cutting Liam off. This was about Harry and not about him.  Also, Since Liverpool, Liam and Zayn have been fighting more about Louis.

He didn’t like when people didn’t agree with him.  Even though that was a fault that came with the job.  Zayn sometimes had to tell him to shut it if he wouldn’t accept criticism.

He really wished he had been prepared for Harry.  If he knew about the boy before, he would have been prepared.  Not like he could handle it but a little warning would have been nice.  Though, he could admit that that was his fault. He should have listened to who would be replacing Nicole when she announced she was leaving.

“Okay,” Liam agreed but he still didn’t look convinced.

Zayn decided to change the topic.  Liam probably didn’t want to listen to bitching when his concert just ended.  Louis knew he must be exhausted and he felt bad venting to Liam.  Whenever he was done a concert, he just wanted to lock himself in his room and sleep.

He probably was expecting to just talk to Zayn but Louis was in the room and demanded attention on his situation.

He went to have a shower, giving the two a moment.  He knew Zayn missed Liam more as his tour went on.  But October would come soon and Liam would be back. 

When he walked out, with a towel around his waist, Zayn and Liam were still talking.

“You two are still talking?”

Zayn sighed in irritation when Louis cut Liam off.

“Yes,” he snapped, narrowing his eyes on Louis.  “You’re not the only one who can talk.  But we are having a conversation.”

Liam stifled a laugh.

“What are you saying?”

Zayn groaned and turned to face Louis.  “I’m saying that when you go off, you don’t let anyone comment.  And when they do, you cut them off.”

“So?”

“It’s annoying and I am talking to my boyfriend, not you.”

Louis gapped at him.  Yeah, Zayn got bitchy when he was talking to Liam and got interrupted.

“Okay.  Sorry.”   Louis went to his bag and pulled out a pair of joggers.  “I’ll let you talk and shut up.”

“You are not going to fight with me, Louis.  Until you have someone and bang on about how much you miss him, do shut the fuck up.”

“There’s a lot wrong with that statement.  I don’t want to get married-”

“You say that and then in ten years you’re regretting all your choices.”

“Maybe, but right now I don’t want that.  After this, I’m going back.”

“Your fans’ll be excited.  Stop getting the tweets begging you to come back.”

“I’m not announcing shit until I’m sure.”  Louis grabbed his clothes and walked out of the room. He usually just changed in the room but he felt like he couldn’t with Liam.

He walked to his bed after he changed and flopped down on it.  The long day was taking its toll on him and he had to do it all over tomorrow.  At least they got a break before they filmed bootcamp.  He was planning on sleeping, getting drunk and finding a bloke to shag.

He opened his eyes when his bed dipped.  Zayn shifted, sitting by the edge.

“How do you deal with not seeing each day?”

Zayn didn’t look at him as he moved his laptop and grabbed a pillow, laying it on his lap.  “Why?  It’s not like you have someone.”

“No.  But you’re with someone and you hardly see him.”

“I don’t know.  Just live with it, I guess.  What’s the real question?

“How did-”

“You never asked how I am doing without a reason.  Tell me.”

“It’s a bit… Personal.”

“And that’s supposed to deter me?  When has anything between us been a secret?”

Louis had to agree.  They really didn’t have a filter when it came to each other.

“Okay. Fine.  How do you deal with no sex?”

Zayn laughed, almost falling off the bed.  Louis scowled at him, feeling judged for the curiosity.  It wasn’t the worse he or Zayn has asked.

“Sorry, but you could have said it better than that.  Sorry,” Zayn mutter, still smirking at Louis’ pinched face.

“I’m being serious.”

“I don’t know.  It’s one of those things you have to deal with.  If you want to go shag someone, just go.  You’re not contrarily obliged to be celibate.”

“No.  But I can’t be caught.  I’m filming and I can’t do anything to get my name in the press.”

“I really don’t know why I help when you argue with everything I say.  And Liam will agree with me.”

“Yeah.  Because he’s fucking you.”

Suddenly, a pillow landed hard on Louis' face.  “We have conversations about this, you know.  And we both agree that you are unbearable when you haven’t had sex in weeks or when you talk about Harry.  We have a solution.”

“Do I want to hear it?” Louis looked skeptically, knowing he wasn’t going to like what he heard.

“Probably not.  Do want to hear it?”

Louis sighed tiredly, wondering why he started this conversation if it was going to end up here.

“Sure.  Why not?”  Why not, indeed.  He was going to regret this.

“Fuck Harry,” the lad said without missing a beat and with a shit eating grin.

Louis tossed the pillow back, almost knocking Zayn off.  “Be serious.  I’m not in the mood for joking.”

“It was funny.  But, really, I say, just deal with it.  That’s what you do with the media.  Harry can’t be much different.”

Zayn did have a point but it was going to be hard when he had to work with the bloke.  The only break he would get was when he went to ‘his’ house

That day couldn’t come soon enough.  He was wondering which category he would get this year.  He had groups last year, so he doubted he’d get the same this time.   He was twenty-six now.  He could see the producers having a sick sense of humour and give him the overs

He was so nervous last year when he got Groups.  He’d never worked with anyone before.  He was solo and only paired with Little Mix two years ago to do a song for them.   He did his own thing and never coalbed for one of his songs.  Maybe he should. Or shouldn’t. Things were already good enough.

“I’m not doing it, Zayn.  I’ll just go out and be careful.”

“If you’re sure.  So, things are moving on.  Soon we’ll be at bootcamp.”  Zayn decided to move on, knowing Louis was done entertaining him for the night.

“Yeah.  I actually like the six-chairs.  It’s kind of funny hearing the audience cheer and boo for everyone that sung or got kicked off.”

“Are you sure you’re fit to judge?”

“I am.  And you can’t deny it’s kind of funny.”

“I guess.  But shouldn’t I be the one saying that and you tell me as a host I have to be sympathetic?”

“Eh, we can switch.”

“If anyone knew we are like this, they would want us kicked off.”

“True.  But it’s not worse than what Simon does.”

“Simon runs this and has a reputation for being a dick.  People expect it.”

“Oh, please.  I’m nowhere like Simon.  Although, Harry seems to think so. Heard him on the phone with Niall Horan.”

“I didn’t compare you to him but keep it up and I will.  Also, I still say that is a weird friendship.”

Louis nodded and remembered in an interview with Niall, where the woman asked about Harry.

“I really didn’t get it then and I still don’t.”  Niall was too happy to be around someone like Harry.   

Ever since Harry walked in those few days ago, this went from fun to torture.  He really needed to block Harry out.  When he was asked back, he jumped on it.  He wasn’t ready to return. Still needed a break.  Fives years of nonstop touring were exhausting and he needed more than a year off.  Which is why a second year was perfect.  Well, perfect until he saw Harry. 

He didn’t know if he would have said ‘yes’ if he knew Styles was part of the panel.  Probably not but all he could do was guess.  He never got the chance and maybe that was for the better.  Or not.  Liam and Zayn probably wished Louis did his research and figured out Harry was a judge before the minute before they started.

Now his life was a big ‘what if’ which was funny because it was less than a month.  Bigger shit had happened over more time and somehow none of that compared to this.

But now all he knew was Harry was making him go crazy.  Which was stupid because they are just finishing the audition round. 

He really wanted to win or at least someone else but Harry win   Harry didn’t deserve to win in his first year.  Though he won, he had been in the industry longer than Harry was.

“I just want to get this part over with and really let things get going.  And maybe Harry will calm down when he realizes it’s not easy to be a mentor.”

It was true.  When he first, he was so out of it.  But he must have done a good job.  His group won

“Well, he’ll soon find out.”

“Can’t wait for that moment.”

 

 

 

*****

 

 

“The contract is the only thing keeping me from quitting,” Harry rushed out as soon as Gemma answered.  He made have been a little dramatic right now.  To his family and Niall, they saw the solution a simple: ignore Louis.

Easier said than done.  Sharing stories from the past helped but they wouldn’t know the hell he went through without experiencing it first hand.  It’s like everything.   People can pretend to understand but unless they knew what it was like, they shouldn’t tell him to get over it.  He wished he could.  Every unanswered tweet made him hope Louis got the message.  He didn’t and now he was here.  Niall and Gemma getting tired of his shit.

“Hello to you too.  I’m good.  Thank you for asking.  How are you?”

“I’m being serious, Gemma.”  He kicked off his boots and climbed onto the bed.

He missed having Niall here.  He missed having some here physical to talk to.

“Okay.  Fine.  What’s going on?”

He could hear some shuffling and he wanted to ask what she was doing but he needed to get this out first.

“There was this boy named Matt and we had to let him in.  Or, I did.  It’s wouldn’t be bad if he didn’t get in but he did.  Am I overreacting?” he rushed out.

Gemma hummed along and paused for a moment.  “Maybe.  I mean, he’s not that Matt but it can’t help.”

“No,” he supplied.  “He’s almost the same height though and the same colour hair.  I almost had a heart attack when he said his mane.”

“I think you are being dramatic, Harry.  You-”

He may be but he couldn’t fault himself.  Right?  When he told his mum and Gemma what happened, he brushed over some things.  Major things.  He should have just called Niall.  He knew the whole story.  But this was something very personal and he needed his sister.

He always knew he was invisible in school.  He was behind Louis.  Compared to and at times, forgotten.  Today showed that.

“I am not.  It was like I was back at school.  Getting pushed against the walls or tripped.  I shouldn’t judge, though.  He might be a nice man.  Just has an unfortunate name.”

“That is your job, Harry.  I know it sucks but you have to be professional.”

“I know.  I know,” he groaned in frustration.  He was tired of hearing that from Niall and himself.  “I will.  Just hope tomorrow will be fine.  Last day.”

It was something he kept repeating but the results never changed.  Louis was a dick or the contestants auditioning were nobs or he had flashbacks.

There were only two things in his life that he never shared with anyone, not even Niall.

“You deserve it.  And how’s Louis?”

“Still a dick.  Just worst because he’s saying shit to my face.”

“Mum and I thought you’d gone mental when you told us you were doing X-Factor with Louis.”

Harry laughed and picked at his jeans.  “Believe me, I questioned that when I signed.  But Management said it was good publicity and may help with sales.  Who knows.  All I know is that I’m regretting this.”

“You’ll be fine, Harry,” Gemma said and Harry could hear the smile.  He always felt calmer after he talked to his sister.  Even if was just for a few hours before he had to go to school and repeat the cycle.

“Thanks, Gems.”

“You’re welcome, baby bro.  I should let you go.  Bet you’re tired.”

“Yeah,” he agreed and he was exhausted but he was to worked up to fall asleep.  “I’ll call soon,” he promised.

“You better.  Have a good night, Harry.  Tomorrow will be better.”

Harry nodded as she hung up and he hoped her words were true.

 

 

*****

 

 

Harry was sat on a couch in a studio, watching Niall record.  He hasn’t been in one since was twenty-one, recording his second album.  That was two years ago but he had to remember he was just back from a tour and thinking about songs.  Right now, though, it’s been pushed to the back of his mind.  He had the X-Factor.

He was filming bootcamp this week and he wanted to visit Niall before he had to face Louis again.  He didn’t tell the lad about Matt.  He didn’t want to taint this visit.  Also, he wanted to get a feel for the boy first.  What sucked was that he was older than he.

He also knew Niall would cuss the guy when he heard his name.  He knew everything the arse did to Harry in those years until graduation.  Well, not everything.  But his opinion would probably like his and the lad need to get an unbiased judgment first.

When Harry told him after a year of friendship—he wanted to be safe—he acted like what his mum would have acted like.  Except, he didn’t tell her it all.  Also, he didn’t think his mum would have used the language Niall used.  It made him feel a bit better than he did have someone on his side.

Niall came out of the booth a half hour later.  He stole Harry’s water bottle and sat next to him.

“Hey!  That was mine.”

“And I need it,” Niall said between a sip.  “Go get another one.”

Instead of arguing he just walked over to a table and took a new one.

“So, how is it going?” he asked as he opened the bottle.

Niall finished the bottle before talking.  “It’s going.   We are stuck on this one song.  The lyrics just don’t fit the music we’re using. We tried it in different tempos.  I feel like just scrapping it.  It's too much work and we need to get this done by October.”

“Is it a song I’ve heard?”

Niall had a thing for calling at all hours of the day and night when he had a song idea or just finished one.  He claimed he wanted an honest opinion first before the label told him their opinion. An opinion ‘solely on how much money they thought they could make’, was what Niall said once.

One time Niall called at three in the morning and didn’t get off until six.  And that was when he had an interview in the morning.  Thanks, Niall.

“I think so.  But we have changed the lyrics, the pitch and tempo a hundred different ways.  Also, the title.  So maybe you haven’t.”

It was funny seeing Niall stressed.  It wasn’t fun.  He’d been there before.  But a stress Niall is a rarity.  If he didn’t like something he usually tossed it.  So, he didn’t know what’s with this song.   He gave up on songs that just didn’t feel right.

“Why don’t you toss it?  Really, I haven’t seen you this worked up over anything.”

“I like the song.”

“But you said it’s not even the song you wrote.”

“Yeah.”  Niall sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.  “I still have two hours here but I want to go home.  I don’t know.  Maybe if I just forget it and use it for the next album.  Maybe that’s the problem.”

“Could be.  I say if you’re blocked move on and come back.  Or just leave.  That’s what I did.  However, my first album I didn’t get much say.  I think I only helped write three songs and I did one with this one writer.  That was the one I was most proud of.”

“It’s great when you do a song and they let it on the album.  How many did they let you do on your last one?”

“Two were only me.  I almost cried when the label said they were fine.  And the rest I co-wrote.  Maybe after the X-Factor, they’ll let me do more.”

“Can only hope.”

Suddenly a stern looking man came up to them.  “Break time’s over, Horan.  Back in the booth.”

Niall rolled his eyes and jumped up.  “Calm down, Ryan.  I’m coming.”

Harry would be questing the dynamic between them if he didn’t know them for this long.  Ryan has been working with Niall since he started and the two seemed to be mates.  If you can be mates with a man you work with.  Either way, it may have not mattered.  Niall got along with everyone.

Niall winked at Harry before walking after the man.

“Two hours and then I’m yours.”

“That sounds like a date,” Harry teased.  “You have to try harder than that.”

“Fine.  I’ll pay for dinner.  Jesus, all you had to do was ask.”

Harry just smirked and shrugged.  “Like you ever ask for anything.  You just tell without warning. And I’m dealing with Simon and Louis.  Actually, just Louis,” he corrected.  Simon didn’t do much if you just played by his rules.

“That’s not relevant.  I’ve been in this industry for far longer than you and-”

“By two years,” Harry protest.

“Still have seniority over you my young Harry.  But I’ll buy.  You’re going to see Louis soon and who knows if you’ll come back,” the Irish boy sniffed dramatically.

“I’m not going to war, you Irish nob!”

“Whatever.  I better go,” he said as Ryan yelled.  “I’m coming.  Keep your tits on!”

Niall rushed in, leaving a laughing Harry behind.

They always had fun when they visited each other in the studio.  Niall didn’t have to call all hours of the night to get Harry’s opinion.

He usually visited Niall often when he was recording.  But this year he was too busy with the X-Factor.  He only had a little time between the six-chair challenge and the judges’ houses. By then, though, Niall would be close to finishing the album.

Soon it would be bootcanp and then the six-chair challenge.  The time was going to fly and then they would be live and the competition between Louis and him would really hit a high.  It would be like the award shows.  Only this time, Harry felt like this was a bigger deal. 

At the Brits, there were more people against Louis and him.  Here was no different. The fans decided.  But it felt different.  It felt like they were only competing against each other and not two other people.  It was going to run for ten weeks, not one day.

All he knew was this would be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I understand if you are getting frustrated with Harry but he will mellow out soon and his backstory will come soon.
> 
> If you want to see more of Louis POV, let me know and I'll add more.


	4. Bootcamp

Alexandra Palace was beautiful.  It was nothing like Harry has ever seen nor been in.  For a reason though.  He thought they would have held it at Wembley Arena like the previous year but things could change.  Like being here as a judge.

 

They were starting today and after talking with Niall and Gemma last night, he was excited.  For now.  With Louis, he never knew what he would get.  Each day was a surprise.  Unwanted surprise.

 

They were here for three days and they would find out their category at the end.  He still didn’t know which one he wanted.  All he knew was that he didn’t want the Overs.  The groups had memories as the Boys did.  The only one he didn’t hate was the girls but he kind of didn’t want them.  He knew he couldn’t be difficult.  He had to embrace it.

 

He walked into the room and smiled at Sharon, who was talking to Simon.  He wasn’t willing to join that conversation.

 

He sat in his chair, which he had a perfect view of Louis who was talking to Zayn.  He looked over when Louis laughed.

 

He bit his lip to hide his smile.  He always loved Louis laugh.  Loved it when Cheryl, who was a judge at the time, complimented on how cute he was.  He was, Harry had to agree.  And when he laughed, he fell for him.  Well, not until bootcamp and the judges houses where more of Louis’ personality was shown.

 

Suddenly Louis turned and stared at him.

 

“Yes?  Something you want, Styles?” his voice was cool.  All the warmth was gone.

 

Harry bit his lip harder but his smile was gone.  “Nothing,” he mumbled and turned to look at the stage.  He missed Louis smirk and nudge to Zayn’s side.

 

He knew his good mood wasn’t going to last.  He should never wake up happy.  He was sure if Louis continued like that, he wouldn’t be able to smile in the end.

 

Louis laughed again.  The sweet, musical sound but Harry didn’t move his head.  He kept his eyes on the table.

 

The contestants were off to the side, having a view of the judges and the competition.  There was a nervous buzz, wanting to get this over with and move on.  He felt the same but he was nervous because he would be sending people home.

 

He turned his head and looked over all the faces.  He caught the eyes of a girl he couldn’t remember her name and smiled sweetly.  She returned his smile, though he could tell she was nervous.  He hoped she was good.  He didn’t want to send her home today.  She seemed shy as she shifted in her seat.

 

When he turned, he caught Zayn and Louis’ eyes.  Anymore staring and he was going to think he had something on his face.  He didn’t.  A crew member would have told him.

 

He wanted to say something like Louis did.  But he didn’t want that right now.  The day just started and they haven’t begun.

 

He watched out of the corner of his eyes as Zayn patted Louis on the back before walking to the side to stand by a camera he would use when he was commenting or talking to the groups.  He thinks he’d rather have that job.  He didn’t have to work side-by-side with Louis.

 

He was wondering what Louis thought about his joining.  He obviously didn’t know, judging by his reaction.  Maybe he was fine.  He had Zayn.  He looked fine.  But then there were the comments.  Though, those weren’t new.  This was the first time they talked.  If you could say that. 

 

Simon came over to take his seat and Harry felt a pull of jealousy as he saw Simon in his glasses.  He wasn’t brave enough to wear his.  He didn’t want to get more shit from Louis and his fans when they founded out he wore them.

 

He had a feeling that he was making glasses a bigger deal than they were but thanks to the boys at school, he never wanted to wear his glasses again.

 

Maybe when he was older.  Then they would say his age caused them.

 

Sharon touched his shoulder as she sat down.

 

“How are you doing, Harry?”

 

He smiled.  He liked Sharon when he watched last year.  He was happy to hear he was replacing Nicole.

 

“Excited.  I liked this part when I was watching.”  It wasn’t a lie.  He did and he was happy he was here.  Then he remembered Louis when he got too happy and his mood fell.  But he stayed happy for now.

 

“You’ll be fine, Harry.  Simon wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t think you could do it.”

 

He smiled sheepishly.  As much of a dick Simon was, you couldn’t deny he had power and influenced in the industry.  It was a big deal.  Well, for him.

 

“I feel like I shouldn’t be here.”  And that was something he shouldn’t have said.  That was something he would say to Niall or Gemma.  “I’m the youngest one here.   Louis has four years on me and a year here.”

 

“It doesn’t matter the age.  Simon asked and he knows your age.”

 

Harry nodded and smiled his thanks before turning to the stage again.  Soon they would start and they would cut the acts without a second chance.  It seemed a bit harsh but being a singer wasn’t supposed to be easy.  So better start right away.

 

Suddenly Zayn ran up to Louis, whispering something.  Louis nodded but luckily, he could hide behind Sharon.

 

The older man didn’t see him still looking.  Instead, he turned to Simon.

 

“Ready?”

 

Simon nodded and asked the rest.

 

Harry felt butterflies settle in his stomach.  This moment was more real than the auditions.  He’ll probably say that about each stage.  It was true.  They would get closer to the live shows and whatever Louis would say to him wouldn’t have the chance of being edited out.

 

Still, he didn’t even realize that Louis would always be in his head.

 

His thoughts were interrupted when Simon did his speech and signalled for the day to begin.

 

The first group walked up, consisting of three girls.  They took their spots and waited for a judge.

 

Louis took his mic and smiled.  “Hi, girls.”

 

There was a course of hi’s.

 

“And how are you all feeling? 

 

The girls in the middle nodded.  “We are good.  I think we worked well together.”   She turned to look at the other girls who both nodded in agreement.

 

“And what did you choose?

 

“’So What’,”

 

“Happy with your choice?”

 

“We are.”

 

“Right.  Good luck.”

 

The music started and the singing began.  The girl Harry remembered as Emma started.  He only remembered because she was on the last day.

 

When the song ended Simon thanked them before he looked down at the photos.  Louis moved to lean between Harry and Simon.

 

“I still think she’s not ready,” Harry said, pointing to Amelia’s photo.  She wasn’t the best out of the two but he was the only one to say so back in Manchester.

 

“I feel like she wasn’t bad,” Louis said.  “They’re the first group. We can’t just jump.”

 

“I’m not saying that.  I’m just saying that’s she wasn’t the best out of the group.”  He really wanted to snap at Louis but it was way too early to do anything like that.

 

“She was good,” Sharon said, pointing to Emma’s picture.

 

“She was the best out of the three of them,” Simon said and Harry felt smug.

 

“What about Lizzy?” Louis asked.  “She was good but she didn’t really stand out.”

 

Harry rolled his eyes at the comment.  When he criticized Amelia, Louis argued but Lizzy was an exception apparently.

 

“What do you want to do?”  Sharon looked around.

 

“Keep them?” Harry offered.  He wasn’t going to win about Amelia, so letting them stay was the only option.  “As Louis said, they’re the first.”

 

“Okay,” Louis nodded and turned to look at the other man.  “Simon?”

 

Instead of answering, Simon just picked up his mic and Louis walked back to his seat.

 

“That was really tough, girls.  It’s always hard to be the first to perform.  We’ll see you all tomorrow.

 

The girls squealed and thanked them all.

 

It wasn’t until the third group that they sent someone home.  The boy was good in his first audition but forgot the words for this one.

 

“James and Steph, we’ll see you tomorrow.  Dylan, I’m sorry but we just feel you aren’t ready right now.”

 

Harry smiled sadly at the trio.  He hadn’t gotten his turn but he knew it would be soon.

 

They all thanked them and hugged Dylan before walking off.

 

“It’s sad because I liked him,” Sharon said after the stage was cleared.  “It was unfortunate.”

 

“He was sweet,” Louis said, looking out into the small crowd.  “But you can’t forget the lyrics.”  Even though he’s had more than once, but it was long after the X-Factor.

 

Soon the next group walked up: A woman named Melody, a man Eric and a group called Sweet Treats, which was a weak name Harry thought but what did he know about group names.

 

It also didn’t help that they ruined the song.  It really wasn’t a difficult song.  Blank Space was one of the easy options they had to offer.

 

He had to bit his lip from reacting as Melody screeched the words, not even trying to keep in key.  Or she was and this what they got.  He often wondered how an audition could be so good and here they went the complete opposite. 

 

“I really don’t think we can keep Melody.  Not to be rude but nothing was good about that.”

 

“Louis is right,” Harry agreed.  “Eric was the best.  Sweets Treats was okay but they had Lana, who was flat near the end.”

 

“I agree.  Eric was great in London and he proved himself here,” Sharon said as she tapped her pen on the picture.

 

“I think we know what to do for these two.  What about the group?” Louis asked, leaning against Harry’s chair.  He bent forward so he didn’t brush the man.

 

“Their performance wasn’t as good as the first,” Simon sighed.  He and Louis really liked them as long as that one girl group Harry and Louis fought over didn’t make it.

 

“I don’t think they were that great.  Lana was flat.  But do you want to see them tomorrow?” Harry asked as he looked at the other three.

 

“I agree but I feel like we should wait to make a decision,” Sharon said, sounding unsure with herself.

 

“Is that what you want to do?”

 

“Just tell them,” Simon said to Louis who just nodded and went back to his chair.

 

“Okay.  We’ve decided we’ll see Sweet Treats and Eric tomorrow.  I’m sorry, Melody.”

 

The girl smiled sadly and thanked them before walking off without talking to the others.

 

“Looks like we did the right thing,” Louis scoffed as he took his water.

 

Harry chuckled but luckily no one reacted.  Louis still had his attitude from day one. He was surprised Simone let him in when he was being sassy.  But it seemed to work.  He won.

 

He looked to the Contestants, who were all talking to each other.  Something that always happened after a group went.  Probably the realization was setting in and they were realizing the judges meant they would make a quick decision.

 

They weren’t even halfway through and so far, they were all in agreement.  Which was strange and probably wouldn’t last.  Not with Louis at least.

 

Next group that was up had an older woman and two girls.   He felt like an arse because he didn’t remember any of them and only knew by the paper in front of him with their pictures.

 

“Hi girls,” Simon started and by the girls, there was so disagreement.  “How are we?”

 

The girls look between them and the one girl—Sophie—by her picture, looked at the other girl challenging.

 

Nicky finally said.  “We’re fine.”

 

“I feel like there is some tension,” Simon jumped in.

 

Finally, Sophie spoke.  “There was some disagreement with the song choice,” the girl bit out, clearly irritated.

 

“And whose fault was that?”  And without any hesitation, Sophie pointed to the third girl, Helen.

 

“Shit,” Harry heard Louis muttered but was too low for the girls to hear.

 

“Alright,” Simon drawled out.  “Good luck.”  He probably didn’t want to get into it without hearing them first.

 

And not to help their case they picked ‘We Can’t Stop’ which was an okay song.  But when they sang, you could tell that they were just there for themselves.  They weren’t working together

 

“Thank you,” Harry said when they finished.

 

“If I am being honest, none of them were any good,” Simon said. 

 

When Harry moved his hand to point to the photo of Helen, Louis grabbed Harry’s hand and pulled it back.  He felt Louis thumb run over his middle finger playing with his ring he put back.

 

“I have to agree and you can tell there wasn’t any cooperation with any of them.

 

Harry took a shaky breath as he felt Louis’ hand against his.  He hasn’t felt Louis skin against his since the Brits and even though it was a small touch, it made his heart rate speed up.

 

His body didn’t seem to pay attention to his brain and he was distracted that he didn’t realize Sharon was asking for his opinion.

 

“Um, I have to agree.”  He tried to pull his hand away but Louis’ grip tightened.  “I know they are here for themselves but you do have work as a team.”  He ignored how his breath hitched as Louis’ thumb ran down his knuckle.  Clearly, no one realized, too focused on making a choice.

 

“We all agree, it’s a no for all?”

 

“Yes,” Harry said, feeling like he needed to say something after being distracted.

 

“Okay,” Simon nodded and just then Louis dropped his hand and walked back.

 

“Okay, I’ll just say it.  It’s a no for all of you.  Thank you.”

 

They received a quiet ‘thank you’ in return as they walked off.

 

“I feel like that was the worst performance of the day,” Simon shook his head

 

There were a couple of acts before they called for a break.  It was tiring and he couldn’t imagine how the contestants must be feeling.  They had to wait longer for their turn and when he was waiting for his turn for things, he just wanted to get it over with.

 

Louis disappeared with Zayn, leaving Harry alone, again.  Not like they hung out.  It’s just they always left in a rush before Harry could stand up.

 

He found an empty corridor and pulled his mobile out and groaned as he read a string of texts from Niall, whining about this song he hated but he needed to meet the list of songs he has to have.

 

 _I thought you decided not to do this_ , he texted.

 

The response was almost instant and caused Harry to roll his eyes.

 

_Different song, Harry.  Pay attention._

_I’ve been filling, Harry shot back.  If you’re going to act like an arse, I’m not helping._

 

Niall wrote back right away and Harry was almost to throw his mobile. 

 

_You’re not helping._

_Then what do you want?_

_I want to be done with this.  Honestly, this is the most stressful album I’ve ever done._

 

Harry sighed and dropped against the wall.  This day was already stressful enough without Niall.  But he felt like he owed it to him.  Niall listened to him and didn’t bang on about his obsession with Louis.  Which, it was not an obsession.

 

_Are you almost done?_

_I think two more songs.  But I want to say fuck it to this song and do a new one._

Harry smiled and remembered how he had been in that position.  Unfortunately, management and the label insisted on the song.  Out of his two albums, it still was the worst song he’s ever released.  Luckily, they were smart enough not to release it as a single.

 

He hated it and even Niall hated it.  Louis even tweeted him a month later after the Brits.  Asking what the fuck was he thinking?  How Louis found it, he would never know.  All it meant was that Louis listened to the album.  Or the song.

 

_Hey, it can’t be as bad as ‘Love you’._

_I’ll challenge you.  I’ll send it.  But I feel like this is its twin, Niall wrote back, causing Harry to laugh loudly._

 

He didn’t realize Louis and Zayn were close by until Harry turned.

 

“Sorry,” he mumbled and looked back at the screen.  He felt heat spread over his face.  He hoped Louis would just walk by.  They were having a good day.  He didn’t want it to be ruined like every day since Liverpool.

 

_Send me it and I’ll let you know, he wrote back, not bothering to look up._

_I’ll send it tonight and call me after you listen.  I mean it._

 

_I will.  I have to go.  More dreams to crush._

_Haha.  How’s Louis been?_

_Weird.  Like nothing is happening.  I’ll call you later.  I really have to go._

He pocketed his mobile and gasped when he saw the two men still standing just off to the side.

 

“Shouldn’t you be going back?”

 

Louis hummed as he smirked.  “Talking about me, Styles?”  He nodded to his pocket.

 

“No,” he said without missing a beat. 

 

“I don’t believe you.”

 

“I’m telling the truth.  Or do you want to read?”  He pulled out the black device and held it out.  He really wasn’t talking about Louis.  Niall brought it up.

 

To his shock and horror, Louis took it and started reading.  He really should have locked it and not wait until the time lock went.

 

Luckily, there wasn’t really anything about Louis.  He was smart enough to call.

 

“Well,” Louis said, looking up from the screen, “You clearly talked about me.  If that Irish bloke is asking.”

 

Zayn suddenly laughed and Harry almost forgot the lad was there.

 

“And I was smart enough not to text it.”

 

Harry grabbed his mobile and made sure to lock it before pocketing it.

“Still, you did talk about me.  Which means I’m in your head.”

 

“You’re so arrogant.”

 

Louis ignored him and moved, backing Harry up to the wall.  “Even after all this time…”

 

Zayn laughed again and Harry gritted his teeth.  He pushed at Louis' chest, only to be pushed back.  Instead of whimpering like he wanted to, he stayed silent.  If he didn’t hate the man so much, he wouldn’t be trying to keep passive.

 

He couldn’t help that he had a submissive streak.  He just wasn’t going to let Louis see.  He didn’t need to give him anything more to tease him about.

 

Instead of saying anything, Louis just stepped back and smirked.  “See you in there, Styles.

 

“Dick,” he muttered and waited a few minutes until he followed.

 

They started soon after they all sat and the first group up consisted of a lady named Melissa, a boy named Noah and the girl group—L.O.L—Harry and Louis go into a fight over.

 

“Hello everybody,” Sharon said, taking the first group.

 

“Hi,” Noah said, smiling brightly at the woman.

 

“How is everyone?  Happy with your choice?”

 

The group looked around and nodded. 

 

“We are.”

 

“Okay.  And what song are you going to perform?”

 

“’Treat You Better’.”

 

“Well, good luck.”

 

Noah started off with the open line, which Harry was wondering who picked it.  If any.  He didn’t like the song.  It had a stupid message but he had to judge based on the performance and then the song choice.

 

The girls were still flat and one girl was way off key.  He should have stuck with his original choice and ignored Louis comment.  He wanted to see Louis’ face but he had to look like he was focused.  Melissa was good but he still thought Noah was the best.

 

“Thank you,” Simon said and like the routine they set, Louis stood between Simon and Harry.

 

“I think he was the best,” Harry said, tapping Noah’s photo with his pen.  This time, Louis didn’t take his hand and Harry had to figure out if he was glad or disappointed.

 

“I agree with Sy—Harry,” Louis corrected and Harry smirked.  They were supposed to use their first names and Louis had almost slipped.

 

“She was better than her first audition,” Sharon said and Harry wondered how the hell she remembered.  Maybe because she paid more attention to the auditions than he did.

 

“What about the girls?” Harry asked, looking to Simon and Louis, who held his gaze until Simon spoke.  They looked to the older man and Harry prayed that no one noticed the stare.

 

“If they didn’t improve from last time, I don’t want to waste my time.”

 

“I actually think they got worse,” Harry pointed out.

 

“I have to agree with Harry,” Louis sighed and by his tone, he was pissed he had to agree with him.  Harry felt smug that he was right for once.  They never should have said ‘yes’.

 

“So, keep Noah and Melissa?” Sharon clarified and got a ‘yes’ from Simon.

 

“Okay,” Sharon said when Louis was seated.  “Noah and Melissa, we’ll see you tomorrow.  Girls, I’m sorry but this is the end.”

 

The group smiled sadly and walked off.

 

They still had several rounds to go before the end and he just wanted to get this over with as everyone else probably did.

 

The next group was good enough to get through. 

 

When Ash’s group came up, he was with Angie and, Dynamite Creatures, which they were probably the best group they had.  And he may be letting his emotions decide.

 

It was Harry’s turn and he was glad he had a group who never gave attitude.  He just hoped they were good enough to make it to the next round.  If not, he just hoped Ash was good enough.

 

He didn’t want to open on who he liked best but he had to admit to himself that Ashley and a boy named Alex, they heard earlier, were his favourites.  He could say he wanted to be their mentor but then there was Matt.  If he got to the end of bootcamp, he would be with the Boys.

 

“Hi, everyone.  How are you?”

 

A boy from the band-Luke-answered for them.

 

“I’m fine.  I think the lads are.  I’m not sure about the other two,” he answered honestly.

 

“I’m good,” Ash answered as Angie backed him up.

 

“That’s great to hear and any problems?”

 

The group all looked to each other.  There was a pause and Harry was sure someone was going to say something but Angie just said ‘no’ and all agreed.  Impressive.  But they were about to have a group in total disagreement soon.  It happened each year and they already had one.  Another one had to come.

 

“That’s great.  Good luck.”

 

The open note for ‘Radioactive’ started and Harry watched.  Simon hummed but he focused his gaze to the performers.  Ash was just as good as last time.  Angie was a little shaky but she was still good.

 

“Thank you,”

 

Harry turned as Sharon leaned over.  Louis joined them that second and it was the shortest discussion they’ve had all day.

 

“Okay,” Sharon said. “We’ll see you all tomorrow.”

 

The boys looked so shocked and for a moment, Harry wondered if they thought they fucked up.  The other two were better but not by much.

 

They finally had their first girl group after two more groups went.  They had a pair of girl duos but each couldn’t compete with the rest of their groups.

 

He was still waiting for Rewind, Matt and Impulse.  Two of the three he was dreading and as the day wore on, they were coming up.  He didn’t want to look at the list.  He didn’t want to know when they were coming up.

 

Before he knew it, the next group was performing and he probably missed half of the song.

 

When they talked, Louis and Simon dominated the conversation.

 

“I still say the girls aren’t ready,” Louis said.”

 

“We can’t just choose all boys,” Simon argued.

 

“We should be choosing acts that are good enough.  Not trying to fill a quota.  Elegance is up soon and they are better than these girls,” Louis snapped and Harry had to agree.

 

He wanted to voice his agreement but Simon and Louis weren’t allowing Sharon or him to have an opinion.  Forget fighting between the group, they beat them to it.

 

“I feel like we are just going to be told what to do,” Harry sighed to Sharon, who laughed.

 

“What do you think, Harry?”

 

Harry jumped and stared at Louis, who apparently asked the question.

 

“Um,” he looked between the two and looked back to Simon.  “I have to agree with Louis.”  He hated agreeing with the man.  It always made Louis smug and think he was in Harry’s head.  Which, he was but that wasn’t the point.

 

“But we could say yes and make the final decision tomorrow?” Sharon offered, trying to cut the tension.

 

He could tell Louis wasn’t pleased but agreed and went back to his chair.

 

When Elegance came, there wasn’t an argument and they were sent through.  The two others girls didn’t have the same luck.

 

Then Matt came out with a girl named Laura and a man named Peter.  Harry started to play with his ring when Louis started talking.  He didn’t think he could take this.

 

And because the universe truly hated him, Matt was the best out of the three.  He knew he was getting through without even having to talk about it.

 

The decision was quick.  Peter was in and so was Matt.  Actually, all of them got through.

 

Rewind came and sadly went.  The man and women they were up against were vastly better.

 

Then came the time for Impulse and he wanted to say ‘Remember me?’ but he wasn’t petty.  People didn’t have to know him.  But how was he the only one to be asked that question?  He was second to Louis.  And maybe that was why.

 

“Hi, everyone?  How’s it going?”

 

Harry watched as one of the lads in the group glared at the boy who was listed as Michael.

 

“What’s your name?”

 

“Michael,” the boy supplied.

 

“Yeah.  He had a problem with the song.”

 

“I didn’t.  It was you who was arguing so we switched.”

 

“It’s true,” the other boy, Ryan, said.

 

Harry had to bit his lip from saying anything as Simon took over.  He knew this was going happen and he couldn’t help the burst of excitement as the group argued.

 

“It’s because we didn’t know the song,” the second boy in group defended.

 

So much like the boys in school, Harry thought.  Couldn’t own up to shit.  Having to change things so they weren’t stuck.  However, they had time to actually know the song.

 

“We had time to practise,” Michael argued and then there was a breath of silence. 

 

Already a bad start and Harry couldn’t help the smug smile threaten to pull at his lips.

 

“Okay,” Simon said.  “Good luck.”

 

It was dreadful watching Impulse that Harry found himself watching Michael and Ryan.

 

“So, what do you think” Sharon started.  “I liked Michael… And Ryan.”

 

“Those boys seem to have an attitude,” Louis said and Harry almost wanted to hug him.  He wasn’t about to say that and be ignored.

 

“You can tell they didn’t know the song,” Harry added.

 

“You never forget the lyrics,” Simon stressed.

 

“So, what do want to do?”

 

“I say yes to these two.”  Harry pointed to the two boys as Louis and Sharon agreed.

 

“What about them?”

 

“If they keep this attitude up, they will be a nightmare.”

 

“I agree.  So, what do want to do?  Send them home or give them another chance?’

 

“Give them a chance.”

 

“Okay.  But the point of this is to be able to sing songs you don’t have a choice.”  It helped to know the song and it would help their chances but they also had to do that so they could pick a song and learn it.

 

“This is bootcamp, Harry.  They get a pass,” Louis bit out.

 

Harry gritted his teeth.  He wasn’t wrong. 

 

“Are we giving them another chance?” he asked before he grabbed the mic.  No one stopped him.  “We could tell that there was some tension between you guys,” Harry said.  He had to tell them they couldn’t act like this.

 

The boys looked all around and back to the judges.

 

“Even though this a competition, you are a team today and you have to work as one.”

 

“Actually, Harry?  Is it?” the boy who asked who he was spoke.  “Are you really qualified to give your opinion?”

 

This time, no one laughed.  Louis didn’t say anything and the boy who spoke challenged him with a stare.

 

“I do but if you rather talk to someone you know.  Louis?”  He turned to the man sat to his right.  “Want to take this?”

 

Louis looked at him, in shock and amazement?  Maybe the fact that Harry just didn’t say their decision amused him. 

 

“Or Simon?”

 

He knew he was going to regret this later.  Simon could be like that.  Louis could be.  Not him.

 

Simon beat Louis if he was even going to speak.

 

“Michael and Ryan, we’ll see you tomorrow.  You four, I want to say something.”

 

The boys hesitated, realization spread over their faces.

 

“Your behaviour is disgusting.  You don’t start a fight with your group.  Also, these judges are here to help you.  I don’t appreciate when you question our decision.  And it’s time for you to go.”

 

The boys looked like they wanted to fight but thought better of it.

 

Harry still couldn’t believe he did that.  It wasn’t like he ran his mouth.  Simon said worst.  That just wasn’t him.  He was proud of himself.  Also, L.O.L getting sent home was a bonus.

 

Instead of talking, Simon just went one with the next group.

 

The next act was of one of the youngest girls they had, Ella, L.O.W, which was their initials and a man Daniel.  There wasn’t any fighting and yet the decision did.  Of sorts.

 

“She was the best,” Harry agreed with Simon’s comment on Ella.

 

“I still think he needs work,” Louis referred to his comment about Daniel at the audition.  He placed his hand over Harry’s when he pulled back.  Playing with the ring again.

 

He wanted to believe Louis was comforting him for the comments made at him.  But he didn’t think he was that concerned.  Also, he really wasn’t.  He was twenty-three and a judge.  He wasn’t in school anymore.  He really needed to take Gemma and Niall’s advice more seriously.

His skin felt like it was on fire and frozen at the same time.  He focused on the strokes before it was gone and he had no idea what they decided.

 

The rest of the time went by uneventful.  Louis didn’t touch him and he felt conflicted if he should feel happy or sad.  He was supposed to be cold and it’s only been a couple weeks and he felt like Louis was already breaking down his walls.

 

They wrapped up and Harry pulled out his phone when he was alone.

 

Niall sent him a file with the song attached and Harry laughed hard at the title.

 

“Whatcha laughing at, Styles?”

 

“Shit,” Harry cried but this time he didn’t throw his mobile.  “Do you have joy in scaring me?” he glared, and of course Zayn was there.

 

“Can’t help it if I’m walking and you laugh so loudly that it could be heard down the hall.”

 

He knew he wasn’t that loud.  Louis just wanted a reaction.

 

“Whatever.”  He turned to walk away but Louis grabbed his elbow.

 

“I asked a question, Styles.  What were you laughing at?”

 

“None of your business.”  He knew he couldn’t tell Louis and even if he could, he wouldn’t have.

 

Louis reached for the mobile and pulled at it.

 

“Fuck off, Louis.  Give it back.”

 

Louis just smirked and showed Zayn.  “What’s this, a song?”

 

“So, what?”

 

He was trying to keep calm.  Niall would kill him if he let Louis listen to it.

 

“Let’s have a listen.”

 

And before Louis could do anything, Harry reached over and pulled his phone.  It was easy since Louis wasn’t expecting it and didn’t have a good hold.

 

He locked it quickly in case Louis tried to get it again.

 

“What the fuck?” Louis asked, sounding pissed.  Like he had the right to?

 

“I took back what’s mine,” he explained like Louis was really looking for an answer.

 

“You know, I actually felt bad for you, earlier,” Louis said, walking up to Harry.

 

“Sure. you did.”  Harry rolled his eye.  Louis never showed sympathy towards him.  He teased and harassed him.  Leading his fans to join in.

 

“I did.  I knew your name.”  He leaned forward, his breath brushing over Harry’s ear.  “Just like you knew mine when you moaned it.”

 

Harry glanced to Zayn but Louis’ voice was too low for him to hear.  Thank god.

 

Harry shoved Louis but he was already walking back.

 

“You’re a twat.  Just leave me alone.”

 

Louis just gave him that signature smug smirk that he wanted to slap off.  He just turned and walked away.

 

Zayn gave him a sympathetic smile but he was too pissed to realize.  He texted Niall when he was walking down another hallway.

 

_Bitter Sweet Apology?  What the fuck?  Are they joking?_

 

_Fraid not.  Thinking of doing it as a single.  Might have to say fuck that to the idea._

_Listen to it_ , his next text came seconds later.

_Let me get to my room and I will._

_Please.  So how was Tomlinson?_

_A dick.  Will tell you after we talk about the song._

 

He hurried to his room and played the song, almost laughing before he was halfway through.  It was dreadful.  Laughable.  He was sure the critics would tear it apart.  Teenage girls would either love it or hate it.

 

He called Niall who picked up on the second ring.

 

“Told you, you would laugh at it.”

 

“It sounds like something you would put on your first album.  No0t something a twenty-five-year-old would write.”

 

“I just don’t get it”

 

“Well, if it makes you feel better, I still say mine was worst.”

 

“Oh, fuck you,” Niall groaned.  “And no.  Yours was on your first.  This my fourth.  And I have one year on Louis.”

 

“Well, you could catch up,” he offered, even though it was impossible.  Unless Louis stayed off for another three years.  But that wasn’t very realistic.  Five years would be too long.

 

“Probably would never happen.”

 

“I still don’t get how Louis could’ve done an album each year.”

 

“Because his team is shit and that’s why he took a break?  Anyway, why are we talking about Tomlinson’s career?  What did he do?”

 

“I don’t get him.  Honestly.”  Harry pinched his nose and fell back on the bed.  “First he was stroking my knuckles.  And then next he was backing me into a wall after the show.  Also, he took my phone.”  He might as well tell Niall Louis almost listened to the song.

 

“Did he hear it?” Niall asked like he understood what Harry was hinting at.  Though, he didn’t sound concerned.  Yet.  Did anything bother the lad?

 

“I took it back before he could.”

 

“Damn.  Well, it’s not like he didn’t have shitty songs when he started.

 

Harry bit his lip.  He had to disagree.  His first album was surprisingly mature for a nineteen-year-old.

 

“His first album wasn’t bad.  It was kind of mature,” he found himself saying before he realized it.

 

“Fuck!  Harry, you are not supposed to defend him!  You hate him for a reason.”

 

“Doesn’t mean I can’t agree that he had a good start.”

 

“You’re just saying that because you’ve been in love with him for years and let him fuck you.”

 

“No!  If he’s still this popular, it means he’s doing something right.”

 

“I can’t believe you’re defending him!” Niall snapped and he couldn’t believe they went from laughing about songs to arguing about Louis.

 

“I’m not.”

 

“Yes, you are!  You said you wouldn’t let Louis do this to you again.  And by what he said and you defending him, you aren’t changing.  You’re addicted.”

 

“I am not!  And I agree with your team, put it out.”  And without waiting for a reply, he ended the call and tossed his phone which bounced and landed on the floor.

 

This wasn’t new.  They fought about Louis before.  And if Niall was pissed at him, he knew how to dig.

 

He never would admit it but he was ashamed that he shagged Louis.  He felt disgusting when he woke up alone and to Louis’ tweet.  He didn’t expect anything out of that night but it would have been nice to not wake up alone when you had sex for the first time and were vulnerable.  And slowly, he started to hate Louis as he made fun of him each time he got.

 

And yet, he still couldn’t get him out of his head.  Which made him hate him more.

 

He just hoped Niall would get his head out of his arse before the judges’ houses.  He didn’t like when Niall was mad at him.  He hated that he was the cause for this argument.  But he wouldn’t apologize.  It wasn’t his fault.

 

He was done apologizing for shit he didn’t do.  In school, even if he got tripped, he had to apologize for being in the way.

 

Louis had to know how much he affected him.   He never responded to Louis’ tweets.  He had to know when the media said about them was bullshit.

 

Maybe he knew but didn’t care.  Louis wasn’t the same boy that won the X-Factor or maybe he never was.  He played an act to win everyone over.

 

Tomorrow they had to make the final decision.  Then they would get their categories and the show would officially start.  Well, the live show was really the start but they had to create the show from what they were given after bootcamp.

 

 

*****

 

 

“What did you say to him?” Zayn asked as they watched Harry walk away in a hurry.

 

Louis just shrugged and walked the opposite way.

 

“Bullshit.  Harry looked like he wanted to die and kill you all at once.”

 

“I just know how to get to him.”  He was proud of himself.  Getting to Harry through the internet was entertaining but here, he could he see the reaction he could draw out of the younger lad. 

 

If he was being honest, this was better than Twitter.  Harry couldn’t hide.  He wasn’t good at hiding his emotions.  He knew Harry was upset with not winning but he was too proud to show it.  Also, he was supposed to portray the friendly and kind celebrity.

 

He knew that he was letting his act down.  It was just between them but that didn’t mean Louis would ignore it.  He didn’t pass up an opportunity.

 

Although, there was the slim possibility that Harry wasn’t acting but he wasn’t about to investigate that.  He didn’t like Harry and Harry hated him.  It was never going to end.

 

“So, tomorrow you make the final decisions.  Nervous?”

 

“Not really, I’m ready.  I just want to get my category.  Know I won’t get the groups this year.”

 

“No, you won’t,” Zayn chuckled.  He knew they had to film the part with each judge.  He was dreading to talk to Harry.  First, he was the only new one this year but second, Louis didn’t like Harry and as his mate, he had to side with him.

 

“I thought you weren’t supposed to know.”

 

“I’m not saying what I know.  I’m agreeing.  Which one do you want?”  the raven-hair lad nudged him and smiled.

 

“Aren’t you supposed to ask when we film?”

 

“Probably but I want to know without the cameras.”

 

“I wouldn’t mind the groups again.  That won’t happen though,” he signed and stopped.  “I have a feeling that people would love if I got the Overs.  Make a right joke out of it.”

 

Zayn just grinned as he snorted.  “It would be funny.  I say you could still win.”

 

“Well, let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.  And I guess that the only ones left are the Girls or Boys.  I guess I won’t be difficult.”

 

“You still will be great with whatever you get.”

 

“You know, that’s not very comforting,” Louis said around a smirk.  “I kind of hope Harry gets the Overs.  It would be hilarious since he’s the youngest one here and only twenty-three.”

 

The lad rubbed his face, feeling more tired than he felt last year at this time.  Harry was wearing him down and if he didn’t do something soon, he would break.  But what could he do?  Harry can’t leave.  He’s here for the series.

 

Having Zayn here was saving him.  He felt like he was having a nightmare when he saw him at the Judges’ table.  But he was a professional.  He was going to do his job and do it right.

 

 

*****

 

 

This was it.  their final decision.  They were stood around a table of photos and the realization that they had to cut this lot in half seemed like a harder decision than last night.  These would be the acts good enough for Six-chairs.  

 

They had a long day.

 

“Fuck it,” Harry grumbled as he pulled the hair tie from his wrist to pull his hair up.  He usually didn’t but he didn’t want it getting in his face.  He woke up in a foul mood.   He texted Niall, apologizing, even though it wasn’t his fault and still, Niall was ignoring him.

 

Louis moved to stand by Simon as Sharon stayed by Harry.  Harry looked over all the faces and felt like they were all judging them.

 

“Wow,” Louis said.  “Still just as much as last year and won’t be any easier.”

 

Sharon nodded in agreement as Harry looked over all the photos, trying to find some he wanted.

 

“And we have to cut them in half.  This will be a long day.”

 

They moved all them, sorting them into their categories.  He was aware of the cameras shooting them but they weren’t supposed to acknowledge them.  Which was easy since he had practice.

 

“So, who do we start with?” Louis said, looking around.

 

“The girls?” Sharon asked pulling the stack of photos and laid them out.

 

As Harry looked over all of them, there were only eight that stood out to him.  But it wasn’t just his opinion.

 

“It might be easier if we start with who we don’t want,” Louis said, pull a photo of a girl named.  “She was good but she was better in her audition.”

 

“I agree with Louis.  Is she a no?”  Simon looked to Harry who agreed.

 

The next girl to go was named Helen and from what Harry remembered, she had attuite with her group and her performance wasn’t the best.

 

“Her?” Harry asked, picking up a photo of a girl, Lucy, he wasn’t a fan of. 

 

Louis pulled the photo out of his hand and Harry clenched his fist to stop from taking it back

 

“I agree.  There are ones far better.  What do you two say?”

 

“I feel like she wasn’t that bad,” Sharon said.  “What do you think, Simon?”

 

“I agree with boys.”

 

“She’s a yes,” Louis said as he picked up Laura’s photo as well as Olivia’s without any of them.

 

Apparently, Simon and Sharon didn’t care.

 

And the day decisions went on like that.  They were well into an hour and they were still fighting over the girls.  Well, Louis and Simon were.  Harry and Sharon just watched.  Apparently, their opinion didn’t matter with this one.  Louis wanted Charlie gone but Simon didn’t.

 

Harry felt his phone buzz but he was too distracted watching the fight play out.  Louis was actually getting pissed by the way he was talking fast and had a hand clenched in a fist.

 

Even though he was mad at Louis, he still was hot.  He was always hot.  He saw footage of Louis getting into an argument and if it turned him on, no one had to know.

 

“Look, we’ll keep Charlie if we say no to Lilly.”

 

Harry raised his eyebrows at that. Louis usually didn’t compromise or bargain.  Charlie was a girl Simon wanted but the rest of them didn’t.  Lilly was a girl Louis—Harry would say hated—wanted gone.

 

Apparently, his opinion didn’t matter if Louis got his way.  Simian relented and Louis grinned in glee.

 

Next were the boys and this was where Harry was the most interested and may have to fight for some.  

 

Harry pulled Ash’s photo and showed it to the others. 

 

“I really liked him.  His audition was good and last nights was better.  It shows he’s taking this seriously.”

 

“They all are,” Louis sneered and Harry had to fight an eye roll.

 

“Not everyone, if you remember?  A few didn’t even rehearse.  He did,” Harry slapped the photo down by Simon and Louis.

 

He won when he asked Sharon.  He smiled smugly at Louis, who, if they weren’t being filmed, he would have flipped him off.

 

When they got to Matt, Harry almost grabbed the photo a threw it in the reject pile.

 

“I still say we have many better ones,” Harry mumbled, feeling pathetic.  He was losing.  Like he ever had a chance.  All the other judges loved him.

 

He was pleased with all the other ones he wanted.  And now he didn’t want any of the options.  Overs would be a joke.  He couldn’t do Groups.  The Boys were a no.  He would have to swallow his pride.  He would be teased by the press if he got the Girls or by the fans.  He had Zayn’s interview later and he would just have to come up with one.  Whatever came to mind.

 

“What about Ezra?” Louis asked.

 

Actually, he was wrong.  He was worse than Matt but didn’t have the history Matt’s name carried.

 

“I say no,” Harry said before any of the others could state their opinion.

 

“Well, I say yes,” Louis said, meeting Harry’s gaze in a challenge. 

 

“He had a bit of an attitude,” Sharon chimed in.

 

“Not like he’s the first one,” Harry said, and Louis must have taken it as a ‘keep’.

 

“He will be a nightmare,” Simon added.  But in the end, they agreed to give him a chance.

 

When the Overs came, there really wasn’t any arguing.  Well, not as bad as before.  But maybe because none stuck out as memorable.  Which was harsh but as Harry looked over the men and women, he saw only six he liked. 

 

Out of all, He liked Peter and Heather.  Maybe this really wasn’t a category he should help with.  He was the youngest and also the only one under twenty-five.

 

It still would be hilarious if Louis got the Overs.  Finally, he would be knocked down and be reminded that he was closer to thirty than twenty.

 

Actually, that didn’t help.  It wasn’t known but he had a thing for older men and though Louis was only three years older, it was hot.

 

“So now, the groups,” Louis announced as they looked over their photos.   He didn’t really care who they picked.  All he cared was that Dynamic Creatures got through.

 

He looked over all the acts and felt guilty that by tonight, half of these people would be going home and the next would be fighting for a chair.

 

They had to be careful with their choices, like with the previous chooses.

 

This was the hardest group they had.  They were going on two hours and they only had five they wanted and the rest were still going back and forth if they were worth the risk.

 

“I still say Dynamite Creatures is better than Equals Three,” Harry said after what felt the firth time Louis and he had this argument.  The other two weren’t commenting and it pissed Harry off.  They were a team in this decision but it felt like he was alone and against Louis.

 

Luckily, if he used a name, they had to edit the footage.  They had to be ambiguous.  So, he was using names because he could fight with Louis and not have the fear that the whole thing would end up on the show.

 

“Well, I want Equals Three.  They’re a lot better than groups that have been on in the past.”

 

“So is Dynamic Creatures.  I say they’re better than them.” Louis glared at him and he wondered why Sharon and Simon weren’t saying anything.  So, he asked.

 

“Why don’t we choose both.  We need to fill up the spots. I will agree that Dynamic Creature is slightly better.  But I think both could have a chance.  Simon?”

 

Instead of talking, he took the photos and placed them to the side. 

 

“Now what about these two?” Simon went on as if nothing happened and okay. Maybe he was right.  They had a job to do.  They couldn’t fight this openly.  Wait until they were alone

 

He pointed to Sweet Treats and a duo.  Harry remembered the duo wasn’t that good, but who was he to judges.  He was new here.  Everyone else had experience.

 

“I liked the girls.  The lads, I don’t think they’re strong enough to continue,” Louis sighed, taking the lead.

“The lads seemed like they realized how big of a deal this is and the nerves got the best of them.”

 

“Harry’s right,” Louis said and it seemed like he was thinking around the same thing.  “You can be nervous but they let that get the best of them.”

 

“Well, the girls have protentional,” Simon agreed, taking their photo to put it aside.

 

“Now the lads,” Louis said, making a point to look at everyone.  “Do we give them a second chance or not.”

 

“I don’t think they’ll be ready if we give them a chance,” Sharon finally said.  “We have a lot of good groups.  But which ones are better and stand out?”

 

“I say the girls,” Harry said and they had to be sure. 

 

They only had three more acts and only one spot. 

 

“If you’re ignoring this one, I agree.”  Louis placed the final group by the others and still, Harry thought the girls had more of a chance.

 

“Based on auditions, they improved but so did they,” Harry said.  He felt more confident since only they would hear this discussion.  He wasn’t talking to the Contestants. 

 

Simon moved the third group away.  They weren’t an option and aren’t now.

 

“So, we have these two,” Simon said.

 

  “If we all want the girls, I think we already picked,” Louis said, taking the photo of the duo and placed it to the side.

 

“Are we all happy with the picks?” Sharon looked over the hopefuls and Harry had to agree.  He was sure of whom they picked.

 

They all confirmed and Harry sighed in relief.  It had been a long day and he was ready to call it a day.

 

“Well, let’s get this over with,” Louis sighed. 

 

This was the hard part.  Not as hard as the Judges’ houses.  Even though this was Louis second year, he wasn’t looking forward to that part.  It was easier to tell a group than face-to-face.

 

 

*****

 

 

They just finished delivering the good news and bad news.  He was the one that broke the good news, while Louis broke the sad news.  He was now walking, waiting for Zayn to film his bit before his category was revealed.

 

He still hadn’t looked at his mobile and to be honest, he didn’t have the time to get in it with Niall again.  He’d just leave it for tomorrow.  He was in a happy mood and depending on which category he got, he could go to bed happy.  Well, he probably would end up sleeping regardless.  It’s been a long day and he was ready to call it a night.

 

He wished they found out tomorrow but he knew he’d be as anxious as the contestants and would get little to no sleep.  He wondered if Louis felt this way last year.  He had pressure to take his team to the end or damn near close but Louis was the only one in this industry to make him feel self-conscious.  He could brush off the rumours and stories of him being a serial dater.  Jumping from one girl to another.  It only got to him when Louis commented.

 

When Zayn came up to him, he nearly screamed.  He been lost in his thoughts and came out of nowhere.

 

“Hi, Harry,” he smiled, not the one Louis gave him.

 

“Did Louis already go?” he asked as the man approached him.  He actually meant to ask if he was the last one but Louis’ name came out first.  Maybe Niall was right and he had a problem.

 

“He and Sharon.”

 

“Right,” Harry nodded.

 

Zayn led him to the hallway where his group’s room was.

 

He felt weird walking and talking to Zayn like he knew him.  He still smiled, he was just trying to find something to look forward to and he couldn’t let Niall get to him.

 

“So, which one would you like to work with?”

 

And after hours of thinking, he didn’t know.

 

“The boys,” he said as he thought of Matt and that was the perfect example why he shouldn’t think of anything that invaded his thoughts.   He meant to say the girls. He wouldn’t be able to tell why but he was a master of making up shit in interviews.

 

“And why’s that?” Zayn smirked and arched his eyebrows.

 

“Well, this is my first year.  I probably wouldn’t mind any of them but I just feel like I could help the boys.”

 

It wasn’t a random answer.  He felt like he could help either the girls or boys more than the groups or the overs.  Basically, the same age and a solo act.

 

“And who don’t you want?”

 

Harry thought about that for a moment.  He couldn’t say just anything because he may accidentally say something he shouldn’t.

 

“The groups.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Um, I guess because they are a challenge for your first time.”  And he realized at that moment that he fucked up.  Louis won last year with the groups.  He kept the smile but his heart was racing as Zayn only nodded.

 

“Louis did,” the man said and it was quiet that he wondered if Zayn meant to say it.  They weren’t supposed to compare the past.

 

“You’re right.  But he’s Louis,” Harry shrugged and he was Sure Zayn was trying to hide his shock that he had heard.

 

“Right,” the older lad cleared his throat and pointed to the door they stopped beside.

 

“There?” Harry asked as he pointed to the door they stopped by.  Zayn just nodded.

 

 

*****

 

 

He got the Boys.  He was happy and for a moment he almost called Niall to tell him.  He would wait.

 

“Styles!”

 

He jumped and turned to see Louis stalking to him.

 

“Heard you got the boys,”

 

“And you got the girls,” Harry replied.

 

“I bet you just love that,” Louis smirked as Harry frowned.  He had a suspicion what the man was about to say but wanted to hear it coming from him.

 

“What?”

 

“Being around boys.  Probably your dream.  Get to deny the rumours.”

 

Harry scoffed and rolled his eyes.  “Could say the same for you.”

 

Louis just smirked and walked Harry back against the wall.

In case you forgot-”

 

Harry had to struggle to keep his eyes open.  Louis was too close and breath was tickling his face.

 

“I’m actually gay.”

 

Like Harry could ever forget.  It was only a year after Louis came out that he did himself.

 

He wanted to fight but he would be digging his grave and argue that he was gay too.  It was like Louis was waiting for that moment to confirm what he just said.

 

“You’re right.  Maybe I am straight.”  He passed the comment off and he had to bit back a whine when Louis pressed his hand harder.

 

“Will you st-?”

 

“You’re not straight,” Louis cut him off.   “You like dick and that night proved it.”

 

“What if I-”

 

“You may be a good liar but you can’t act that good.”  Louis’ face was so close that for a moment Harry thought Louis was going to kiss him.  And before he could react, Louis was kissing. Him.  He wanted to pull back but Louis pinned his hands down and he felt drawn to him.  Like the first time all over again.

 

He gasped when Louis pressed his hips into his.  He wanted to pull Louis closer but Louis made that impossible.

 

“Fuck,” Harry moaned when Louis pulled back and without warning, Louis was walking back.

 

“Shit,” he muttered and shaking his head.  “Fuck.  This never should have happened.”

 

It was like a bucket of ice washed over him and he realized what he just did.  Oh fuck.  Niall will rail him.

 

He watched Louis walk away, without acknowledging him and Harry felt daft.  Letting Louis do that.  Niall was right.  He was addicted.  Niall was so right.  Fuck.

 

Before he even got to his room he called Niall.

 

“I fucked up.  You’re right.  I’m sorry.  Niall?” he asked when he didn’t get an answer.

 

“I’m here, Harry.  And I should be the one who is sorry.  I was pissed and I took it out on you.  And I just don’t like how you’re letting Louis get to you.” 

 

Harry laughed humourlessly and pulled at his hair.  “You’re going to regret the apology.”

 

“I don’t think I will but what did you do?”  Niall sounded hesitant.

 

Harry took a deep breath.  “I kissed Louis.”  Even saying it, he felt guilt and embarrassment.

 

Niall’s reaction was not one he expected.  Instead of cussing him out, he laughed.

 

“Oh, fuck!  I thought you were going say you let him fuck you again.”

 

“I’m so glad you find this funny,” the boy gritted out.  He was sweating over Niall’s reaction the dick just laughed.

 

“It’s not the worst.  I kind of expected it. That or you’d kill him.”

 

“That might still happen,” he muttered.

 

“Can I help?  Louis might be small but I don’t think you can carry dead weight on your own.”

 

Harry just laughed and rested against another a wall.  “You still going to be my guest?”

 

“Of course.  I wanted to be there and see you at your job, front row.  So,” Niall dragged out and he could tell the lad was grinning.  “Who did you get?  Tell me Tomlinson got the Overs!”

 

“I wish.  I’m sure that would’ve been a right laugh.  But he got the girls.  I got the boys.”

 

“Well, that sucks.  But wasn’t that what you wanted, right?”

 

“I never decided but the boys sounded less daunting.  But I also have Matt.”

 

“Eh, cut him at the Six-Chairs.”

 

Harry really wanted to do that but he was brilliant at bootcamp.  He couldn’t be petty.  He couldn’t let his emotion get in the way of this.  As much as he wanted.

 

“That was actually how we kissed.  We fought over whom we got and Louis was saying how much I much love having the boys because I’m gay or it would prove I’m straight.”

 

“I honestly don’t get him.  Like what does he have against you?”

 

“If I knew, I would tell you.  Anyway, we have the Six-Chairs next and a break before the house.”

 

Harry was nervous for the Six-Chair.  That would be the start of being on his own.  Making decisions on his own.  Until the live shows.

 

“Well, I’m here for you.  And I really am sorry.  I know you’re trying to ignore Louis.  As I said, this song is pissing me off and I took my anger out on you.  You’re a good guy.  You can’t let Louis get to you.”

 

Harry just hummed, letting Niall’s words sink in.  Niall was right though and he needed to focus on himself from now on.  On his boys.  He just hoped Louis would let him.

 


	5. Six-Chair Challenge

“So, did you convince them to leave the song alone?” Harry smirked as he stood in his room, looking out at to the rainy day.  He had a few hours before he had to head to the arena to get ready.

“No,” Niall sighed.  “I tried but they said it’s going to be a great song.  I call bullshit.”

Harry laughed and looked up at the sky.  He didn’t know why but he loved rainy days.  He sat outside in the rain when he had a bad day at school.  It was comforting.  The cold numbed him.

“I did convince them to drop it as a single.  Gave them another song that I was working on and they liked it enough.”

“Is it a song I know?”

“No.  I didn’t share this one.”

Harry gasped in mock hurt.  “I’m offended.  Were you ever going to tell me?”

“I was.  I didn’t plan to share it until I was finished but I was desperate and had to do this.”

“Okay.  Well, I want to hear it when it’s done.”

“You will.”

Harry nodded even though the lad couldn’t see him.  He walked away from the window and to the bed.  He’s been up for a few hours now and like always, time went by slowly.  This was the first time they were filming in front of an audience until the live shows.

“How is recording going?  You should be done soon, right?”

“It’s going,” Niall said but he sounded tired.  “I’ll be honest, this has been my most difficult one.  But if it goes just fine, end of October, November at the latest.”

“Well, your fans will be happy.  They’ve been waiting so long for a new one.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Niall snapped with no real heat in his voice.  “I just got back from tour.  A small one-”

“Small for you,” Harry corrected.  “And _I_ just got back from tour.”

“And they expected a new one right away,” he continued ignoring Harry.

“It just shows your fans love you.”

“It’s tiring as fuck.  But I shouldn’t complain.  They’re helping me keep in the spotlight.  Behind you, of course.”

“No, you’re not.  You were out before me and-”

“And you have passed me.”

“Well, not to be harsh but you also kind of just went along with it.  Just be happy you win awards.  I have less than you and not even close to Louis’ numbers.  And he’s been around for four more years.   And he’s still just as big.  His fans are begging him to come back.”

Niall was silent for a moment and if he didn’t hear his breathing, Harry would have thought he hung up.  Finally, Niall spoke and he groaned.

“How do you know that?  Do you follow him?”

Harry wanted to deny it but he knew he sucked at lying.  Well, when it came to Louis.  He’d been following him since he first started a twitter.  He had to create a different one when he got signed but followed him right after.  He knew Louis didn’t follow him.  But that was okay.  He only followed Louis still because he was too lazy to click a fucking button.  Or that’s what he told himself.  He knew the real reason and he was not about to admit it.

“I do,” Harry mumbled and he was surprised Niall heard despite how low he said it.

“For how long?  You wouldn’t have just started.  Or maybe you did it to keep an eye on your enemy.

“Not my enemy, Niall.  Just something the media came up with after all of Louis’ tweets and my ignoring it.”

“I know.  I know. You are too nice to hate anyone.”

“I hate Louis.”

“And that’s still different than the way he hates you.  You have a reason.  Anyway, you didn’t answer my question-”

“I followed back before all this.  When I made my new account.  Do you want to know something pathetic?”

“Have a feeling that I know what you are gonna to say,” Niall answered and Harry knew his mate wasn’t thinking this.

“I made my first account so I could follow Louis.”

“Th-that… Actually, wasn’t what I thought.”

Harry laughed, loving the fact that he caught the Irish lad off guard.  “What were you thinking?”

“That Louis was your first follow when you made your official account.”

“Oh, I did that too,” Harry said nonchalantly, seeing no point in hiding this.  It was bound to come out soon.  “But since I was already following him, I still did after I was official.

“Louis’ not following you, is he?”

“No,” Harry said without missing a beat.  “Not like it matters.  He can still tag me.  Liam isn’t either but he’s Louis friend so that makes sense.”

“You want to know something?” Niall perked up, sounding happier than this morning.  Before Harry could answer, the lad went on.  “Liam was following me before you came and after I started to hang out with you, he unfollowed me.”

Harry didn’t know what to say.  He didn’t know if Niall was close to the older singer but before he could speak, Niall went on, like he didn’t realize Harry wanted to say something.  Well, they couldn’t see each other.

“Don’t worry about it, Haz.  We weren’t really mates.  The fans just liked seeing us together.  But this just shows that when we became friends, they didn’t like it.  He’s Louis’ mate.”

“Still.  I feel bad.  That this is happening to you because of me.”

“Weren’t you listening?  This happened like a week after we were spotted together.  And I said we really didn’t talk.  Only at parties.”

“Still, I feel bad.”

“Why?  We were really only followed each other for over a year and didn’t even socialize on twitter.  I’m not missing anything.  Not like you, who stalks Louis’ twitter.”

“I do not,” Harry protested.  Niall wasn’t completely wrong.  He just didn’t do it as much now.  Not when he was facing the shit personally.  He wondered when the live shows started if he could tweet a fight with Harry.  He didn’t think so.  They were representing the show.  Louis’ behaviour would reflect poorly.

“You do!  If you still follow him, you are checking up on him.”

“Yeah, well, don’t really need that now.”

“No.  Not really.”

He heard movement in the background and Niall shouting at someone.

“I have to go.  But call me after you’re done.  Want to know how it goes.”

“You know Louis is going today and I’m tomorrow.”

“Doesn’t matter.  Want to know everything before it airs.  Perks of being a judge’s mate.”

“Fine.  If I don’t collapse when I get back.  Don’t think Louis will be a dick tonight.  It’s his group.”

“Doesn’t mean you’re safe.”

“Fuck,” Harry huffed.  “Thanks, Niall.  Didn’t realize I needed another person to confirm what I was I was trying not to think.”

“Just here for you, Haz.”  Harry could hear the smirk in the older lad’s voice.  “Anyway, sorry but I have to go now.  Have fun.”

“I’ll try,” he drawled out, voice dripping with sarcasm.  He knew he wouldn’t if Louis ignored him or challenged him.  He could only hope though.

 

 

*****

 

 

Honestly, this wasn’t fair.  He hated giving Louis his impute on a singer just for him to ignore it.  Louis listened to Sharon and Simon but disregarded his opinion on a girl who was severely off key.  Was Louis tone-deaf or was he ignoring him?  He knew it was the latter.  He wouldn’t have had the success he’s had if that had been the case.

He chose to believe Louis only said yes because she was the third out.  He still had ten or so acts left, he could afford a ‘no’ this early on.

He listened to Simon but he wondered if it was based on her looks.  It also was about appearance when selling records.  He didn’t feel like it was fair to play with people’s hopes just to keep their fight going.  He was fine with fighting with Louis but it should be when they aren’t filming or around any of the crew.

Emma was the next girl up and Harry had high hopes for her.  Each of her past performances was great.  He just hoped the pressure didn’t get to her tonight.

“Hello, love.  How are you?”

“I’m good.”   The girl answered, looking like the most confident one they’re seen tonight.    But that didn’t mean much since she was only the eighth of the night.

“Why don’t you introduce yourself for us?

“Well, I’m Emma and I’m twenty-three and from Liverpool.”

“Lovely.  Well, you have the stage.  Go ahead.”

The girl started into one of Lady Gaga’s newest songs.  Well, from her last album and she did a great job.  He would give a chair but he figured Simon or Sharon had to say it.

“Well, Emma,” Simon started, saving Harry the moment.  “I have to say that was the best performance of the night.  If I had the choice, you’d get a chair.”

“Thank you,” the girl said and before anyone else could speak, Louis took his mic.

“I have to agree with Simon.  That was a great song choice and you sang it well.  I’m going to give a chair.  “Go and take a seat.

Two left before things got interesting.

Charlotte was next or Charlie as she preferred.  She was great in her audition but was subpar at bootcamp.  Did he really want here when he bargained with Simon, who wanted to keep her?

She ended up picking “This is Me” and he was tired with people taking these songs and using them for these shows.  Just because it was nominated for an Oscar didn’t mean everyone should sing it.  It was important in the movie and told a story but outside it was just a song and lost its meaning.  Also, Charlie didn’t have a strong enough voice for the high notes.  It was just the wrong choice.

When the song ended it was his turn and he was struggling to find something to praise.  Louis probably wouldn’t listen and give her a spot.

“Hi, Charlie,” he smiled and he was sure he was about to get booed.  “I just want to say, you have a great voice but tonight, I don’t think it was your best performance.”

“Well, thank you for that, Harry,” Louis deadpanned, cutting Harry off.   and Harry fought the urge to flip him off.  “Um, I have to say, this wasn’t your best performance but I feel like we could work together so I’m going to give a seat for now.”

Harry had to fight to keep his face neutral.  The fact that Louis gave the girl he got into it with Simon floored him.  He didn’t get it.  Maybe they were to say yes, every time until they got to the ones they really wanted.  Whatever.  He was about chair three and Charlie.

The next girl was Gabbie and he hoped she was as good as her bootcamp performance.  He really should have wished for the Girls.  He didn’t hate any of them.  The Boys, there were three he didn’t want to give a chair but he couldn’t do that.  He had to hear them first.  The only reason why he was happy for his group was that he had Ash and Noah.

Gabbie was like Rachel, who was the first girl.  Similar vocal range but Rachel had her age working for her.  He could hear the tremor in Gabbie’s voice when she hit a high note.  He’d still give a chair.  Sometimes the younger ones improved the most and sometimes their ages worked against them.  They still had a lot of growing to do.  She got the final seat.

As Lucy came out but ended up being sent home, she marked Louis’s first no.

When Laura walked on stage, things were about to get interesting, Louis filled all his chairs.

“Hi, Louis.”

“Hi, love.  Go ahead and introduce yourself.”

“I’m Laura.  I’m nineteen and I’m from Dublin.”

The crowd cheered at that like they did every time someone came on.

She chose “Secret Love Song”, which one of the boys perform the last series.  He liked the song.  He loved her rendition of it.  He knew she would get a chair or not.  Louis gave Holly a chair when she was absolutely dreadful.

“Laura, my darling,” Sharon gushed.  “That was one of your best.  It was the right song.”

“What Sharon said.  Laura, you have improved so much and what I’m assuming everyone else thing, I’m gonna give you a chair.”

The first chair swap and I it was Holly, he knew and Louis had to know too.  He was probably being nice and making it look like a tough decision.

He gave her chair number three and Harry had to fight the scowl.   Louis just confirmed the girl was horrible but wanted to piss him off.  He watched as Laura and Holly hugged. He felt sad.  Though there were few girls left, there was a high chance that some would steal a seat.

When it came time for Natasha, she was the second to last girl and Louis only two of his original six.  Laura set a trend and all but one got sent home without a fight.

She decided to do an original song.  He loved when people did a song they wrote when it was good.  This one was but she didn’t have a strong voice and she was one of the acts he got in a fight over.  Mira was far better than Natasha and much better than half of the girls in the chairs.  She had the best vocal range and probably could do “This is Me” better.  He lost the fight because her voice was too “theatre”.

There was always the wildcard. He was holding out hope but since things never worked out for him, he’d probably get Simon.  When he wanted Louis, the universe played games on him.

When it came to a decision, Simon took the mic.

“Natasha, I know you have a lot of pressure.  If I’m being honest, I don’t think that was enough to win a spot.  However, it’s Louis’ choice.”

Harry was sure Louis was fighting the urge to roll his eyes.  It was obvious that the last few acts were difficult to hear.  If it was his decision, he’d send her home.  All the other girls had stronger voices.

“Okay, Natasha,” Louis sighed. 

And maybe Louis was fighting over his decision.  He didn’t know the pressure the judges had at during this part of the show.  He’d know tomorrow.  He felt a little bad for Louis.

“I’m sorry but I’m not going to give you a seat.”

“It’s fine,” the girl smiled and thanked the judges before walking off.

“You did the right thing,” Sharon said and Louis smiled.

“One more and then it’s you, Styles.”

He looked over and matched Louis smirk.

“Looking forward to it.”

The last was the youngest girl they had. He always admired their bravery. 

He had been eighteen when he tossed around the idea of auditioning for the X-Factor.  It had been three years since Louis won and he had already released two albums (which he owned) and was now on his second tour.

Before he could put his name out, he backed out.  Too nervous to have people criticize his singing skills when he just left school.

If he was going to be honest—he was—she was one of the best of the night.  Behind Laura, she was stealing the bight.  Or so he thought.  And it was weird.  They were both the youngest of the girls and were the best.  Though, he couldn’t form opinions now.   The next round was make or break.  The nerves set in and the realization that this was real got to some. 

After she finished, Louis just cut in.  He probably just wanted to get this done and didn’t want to hear anyone’s opinion when his words were what really mattered.

The song chose was a risk.  Well, Not really.  Many people have sung “Imagine” but not for an audition song.  It was also a slow song and, in the past, people put their own twist on the song, which was fun unless you changed the tempo.  It wasn’t a song that needed it.

“Hi, Ella.  I know it’s been a long night but I just want to start off with how amazing that performance was.  You made the with worth it and I’m sorry to do this-” he paused to look at the other girls who were looking nervously to each other.

Out of the six, he honestly didn’t know which girl he’d send home.  They all earned their spot and unlike before, they all were great.  He didn’t want to be Louis right now but he would tomorrow.

“I’m really sorry but chair five.”

Amelia dropped her head.  Ella and the rest to the girls hugged her until she walked off.  And that was it.  Louis had his girls. 

Ella, Olivia, Rachel, Emma, Laura and Steph.

Honestly, he didn’t think Steph would have made it this far but tonight she proved she deserved a spot.

He always loved trying to pick who the judges would pick for the live shows.  At home it was just a joke with Niall but being here, he felt weird.   He was going to know these contestants and felt like he was rooting for them to fail now.

 

 

*****

 

 

“Much better than last year?” Zayn joked when Louis met him backstage.  It was some time after everyone cleared out and the only ones walking around was the crew.  He should be heading back to his hotel but he didn’t what to go to.

“Still, sucked.  But at least I knew what to expect.”

Zayn hummed.  At least Louis wasn’t bitching like he did last year.  Actually, Louis was the calmest he’s ever seen.  Even when he was nominated for the same award for the third time!  Louis’ nerves before an award show made Zayn what to slap the lad.

“You’re unusually calm.”

“I am,” Louis agreed as they walked outside.  “I actually like the Girls more than the Groups.”

“And yet you won,” Zayn smirked as he lit a cigarette. “Couldn’t have hated them that much.”

“I didn’t hate them!  It’s just not easy mentoring a group as it is to one person,” he explained as he pulled the smoke from the younger lad.

“Well, I’m sure the girls love having you,” Zayn teased, grabbing the cigarette back.  “You have a lot of female fans.  I’m sure just singing for you was a dream come true for them.”

“Sure.  I want to do my job and not flirt.  Like it would matter.”

“Well, at least you didn’t get the Overs.  That would have been a right laugh.  Liam and I were waiting.  I lost fifty because of that.” 

Zayn sounded so offended and Louis had to roll his eyes.  Like that was a steep bet.  Zayn and Liam could afford a serious bet.

“I’m offended, Malik.  My worth was only worth fifty?”

The man rolled his eyes as he took a deep inhale.  “Get over yourself, Tommo.  It wasn’t supposed to be serious but that doesn’t mean I’m not pissed for losing.  You know I hate losing.”

“When you start taking a more serious bet, I might care.”  Louis grabbed the cigarette back.

“Like that would matter.  So, Styles’ next.”

“He is and he better not fuck up.  This is his first year.  If he just acts like he wants everyone, the public will rip him.”

“Damn, Louis, I didn’t know you cared,” Zayn smirked.

“I don’t.”  He inhaled deeply, taking a long drag.  “I don’t want him to make this show look bad.  He’ll probably be the first judge out. He’s a fucking twat and that’ll be his mistake.”

“Like you weren’t last year?”  Zayn defended.  He was there for Louis but at times he had to remind Louis that Harry was new.  “We’ll see tomorrow.”

“We will,” Louis agreed, taking another drag, ignoring Zayn’s outstretched hand.  He’s not giving the cigarette back.  Zayn can get his own.  “He has the Boys.  He probably loves that,” Louis smirked at the thought.

“You are gay too, in case you forgot.  However, I don’t know how you could forget that.”

“Yeah.  But I have the Girls.  Styles has the Boys.  Bet that gets him off.  Having all these boys at his attention.”

“Not all of us are as sexually frustrated as you are.”

Louis just stayed silent.

“Well, what the media says, I’m sure they’ll love hearing he got the boys.  Though, they would probably fucking die if he had the Girls.”

Louis hummed.  He didn’t know why, but the idea of the media tearing into Harry made him uneasy.  He told himself it was because he didn’t want the rumours to get in the way of the show.  It never did but they didn’t have Harry at the time.

“God, I hope not.  And before you give me shit, it’s not about that fucking twat.  I don’t want him to ruin the image of this show.”

“Whatever you say, Louis.  But I agree.  Though, I don’t think that will hurt the show.  There are Simon and you.  You already shadow Harry in everything.  This will probably be no different.”

Louis nodded and finished off his cigarette before crushing it against the ground.  “I hope you are right, but we won’t know until they start airing this shit.”

“Do you ever regret saying yes to another year?” Zayn asked as he pulled out another cigarette. 

He stared down at a puddle and shivered.   He forgot his jacket in his room but he was too lazy to get It.  At least the rain stopped.

“Not really.  I’m not ready to go back.  So, this was a great offer.  Plus, I kind of owe them.  This show started my career.”

“I know I’ve asked before and your fans have but when are you planning on coming back.  It’ll be two years in October.”

“I honestly don’t know.  You know that I’ve been on tour since I was twenty.  I did six tours.  I want more than two years off.  Because soon as I start back, I’m gonna be thrown into the same routine.”

It actually has been in the back of his mind when he announced his hiatus.  His fans blew out.  Actually, asking if he was retiring.  Begging for him to continue.  He was smart and didn’t release an album when he was touring.  So, when he came back, it would be new music and a new tour.  He didn’t feel stressed.  He had considered releasing an album after his tour and then taking his break but that would be messy and stressful.  His fans would be begging for a tour.  It’s still annoying but he could come back with no pressure.

Harry didn’t announce a hiatus but he didn’t really follow Harry’s career.  He only heard about his news when his fans tweeted him or he found Harry was nominated for an award.

He really should have read up on Harry.  Even when the entertainment industry was buzzing about this new artist.  If Harry was his competition, he really should have read up on who he was dealing with.  That’s what he’s going to do tonight.  After he got away from Zayn who would never let him live it down that it took him this long to Google Harry.  He was sure that Zayn already did.  And he didn’t want to admit that it took him four years.  He was sure, more than half his fanbase have already research Harry.

He only saw Harry’s tweets when he tagged him but that was always when he released an album or won an award.  He still didn’t get it.  Harry was never bitter online.  But here, he was unbearable.

He laughed every time a fan of his tagged Harry for pestering about his sexuality.  The rumour amongst fans was he was closeted.  He knew how hard it was to own your sexuality in public.  But he was fortunate to have his team accept it.  That took a lot of fighting though.  Also, his fans have been great.

Harry never denied nor confirmed his sexuality but it was speculated.  And Louis was sure Harry was gay.  Or at least bi.  No one could act like what Harry did when they shagged.  And his clothes.  Not that determined a man’s sexuality.  But he was sure no straight man would wear heeled boots with their shirt open so far why bother buttoning up?  Unless he was a Rockstar.  Which Harry definitely was not.

He may hate Harry.  But he would never call Harry out on that.  That was something personal and up to Harry. 

He actually had to look that up.  See if Harry even announced if he was dating anyone.  Form trending news, Harry’s personal life only trended once a year ago when he was seen with a model and speculation started if they were dating or not.

He never dated anyone long-term himself.  Drunken shags were more common.  He knew his mum was pissed when she found out that Zayn and Liam had been tighter for almost three years and he, at twenty-six, still didn’t find anyone to settle down with.

“Harry almost did that.  He toured almost every year.”

“He’s only been here for four years.  And only has two albums.   And two tours.”

“Right.  But he probably would have been on tour in January if he wasn’t here.”

“I guess.  But he doesn’t have a new album.  And why are we talking about Harry?  I want to not think about him until tomorrow.”  Until tonight.   But he was not about to admit that.  He truly would never hear the end of that.”

“You were the one who started it,” Zayn shout out.  “Let’s go.”  It was starting to rain again and Zayn was not about to get wet. 

“Do you want to go for dinner?” Zayn asked when they started driving to the hotel.

“No.  I’m too tired.  I just want to eat and sleep.”  And research Harry.

“Are you sure?  Don’t want to go and get smashed.”

Louis groaned at the idea.  He would love to get drunk and sleep through the day but he couldn’t.  He couldn’t even have one drink or he may end up drinking too much.  He had to get up tomorrow and be sober.

“I can’t and you shouldn’t either. You have to be charming and handsome tomorrow.  Not hungover and act like a wanker.”

“You’re no fun, Louis.”

“I am!” he protested.  “I promise after tomorrow, we’ll go out and get Liam pissed.”

“Please, he’s already pissed.  He still has two months and it’s getting to him.”

“Aww,” Louis cooed.  “He’s missing his baby?”  He slung an arm around the younger lad’s shoulders and pulled him close.  “You see, this why I don’t date.”

“Fuck, off, Lou.”  Zayn shoved him hard enough to bump into the window.  “Just because you and I are both heartless bastards don’t mean shit.”

Louis laughed, turning in his seat.  “Liam has changed you.”

“Maybe,” Zayn hummed, not willing to admit Louis was right.  “At least I won’t die alone,” he said, sounding bored, like they’ve had this conversation before.  They actually had.  When they moved in together.

  Really, when Liam and Zayn started dating.  Which Louis never expected his two mates getting together.  However, he was begging them to fuck because of the sexual tension was killing him.  Apparently, they did and almost three years later they were still going strong.  And he would still tell them on their wedding day.  If that ever came.

“I say that you’ll change.  When you find the right guy.”

“I don’t want you set me up.  If it happens, it happens.”  He really wasn’t looking for anyone.  And if Liam and Zayn tried to set him, he would fight them.  Well, Zayn.  He was pretty sure Liam could knock him out.  But Liam was basically a puppy.  Maybe he was fine and they wouldn’t fight back.

“Sure, Louis.”

But he really wasn’t.  Maybe he was right and he would regret it later.  If he was forty.  He’d worry about that later.  He was only twenty-six and still had a lot in him.

When they got to the hotel, Louis shot a short goodbye and rushed to the lift.  He needed food and his laptop.  Maybe after all the research, his dislike for Harry would be sounded.

He didn’t look to see if Zayn was following him but he didn’t care.  Zayn knew his way up and he had his card.  He was probably going to go out or call Liam.  Alone.

He started up his laptop and order room service before he changed into joggers and a t-shirt.  He wasted no time signing in. 

He was so absorbed in an article that he jumped at a sharp knock.  He was torn between finishing reading or getting his food.

He decided to answer the door when his stomach growled.  He only realized how hungry he was when he placed the tray on the bed and remembered he hadn’t eaten since this morning.

He sat with his plate as he read the article about Harry joining the X-Factor panel.  Even the article wasn’t as hopeful as he thought; seeing someone so young as a judge.  Which, Louis had to admit that was bullshit.  He was only two years older than Harry when he joined.  But he was twenty-five.  Harry was the age for the Boys and Girls.

He scrolled through the rest before clicking on another article about Harry joining.  This one was hyping Harry up and said his fans wouldn’t be pleased with the lack of a new album.  Which was always the case.  Even when you were on tour, some fans thought you owed it to them to release a new album at the same time.

He read a review of his newest album and was compared to Louis’ latest one, even though Harry’ was only a year old.  It reached number one but the writer said that if Louis was still releasing music, he would be number two.

Louis felt offended when the author of the piece made it sound like he retired.  But he was glad that he was still relevant.  He was going on two years.  He was worried that he was getting forgotten.  But by the response, he got when he announced his return to the show and this article, he was still present.  Also, he was only leaving a place for Harry because the boy didn’t have to compete.

A year ago, that would elate him but know, he didn’t know how it made him feel. Zayn would say he was finally feeling remorse. Maybe.  He wouldn’t go as far as saying he regretted what he did all those years ago.  It was the media’s fault for taking an offhanded tweet and blow it up into something it was never meant to be.  He would never tell Zayn that.  And Harry wasn’t even a thought at this moment.

He clicked on his Wiki page, which he should have started with but the article about the X-Factor pulled his attention.

The page started the same as every page.  Full name, date of birth, occupation and a brief description of what he was known for.

He looked to the side.  Staring at a smiling Harry from an award show or something.  From the year written under it, it was taken in May.

He scrolled down to his personal life but it was the smallest piece on this page.  Only said he moved to London when he was nineteen.  Lived with his mum and sister.  No news on a relationship or past ones. And that he wanted to study photography before he became a singer.  He actually confirmed that he had applied before he was signed. 

But his research didn’t turn up much.  Either Harry didn’t share much or the interviews sucked and didn’t ask real questions.  Either way, he was no closer to finding out anything that he didn’t already know.  He didn’t even listen to his stuff.  So, when he asked, he either was honest or bullshit that he was alright.

He wanted to go on Twitter but that was a dark place.  He only used it when he had to and nothing more.

When Zayn came in a moment later, Louis slammed his lid shut, wincing at the sound it made.  It’s like he couldn’t afford a new one, he just didn’t want to.

“Nothing.”

“Really?  You slammed that thing so hard I wouldn’t be surprised if you broke it.  What were you looking at?  I’d say porn but by the looks of you, that’s not the answer.

“Really, Zayn?” he said in offence.  Just because he was the only one out of them without a boyfriend didn’t mean he got himself off every chance he got.  Also, that was rude when Zayn and Liam were together.

“Hey, I have to assume.  You’re acting like a twat.  What are you hiding?”  He reached for the laptop but Louis grabbed it away.

“None of your fucking business, Malik.”  He got off his bed, taking his laptop to his bag.  “That better be there when I wake up tomorrow.”

“When do you hide shit?  We can never get you to shut up.”

“Yeah, well, today I don’t want to.  Tomorrow is Harry’s turn and he’ll probably say ‘yes’ to all the boys and have like a sing-off for all of them.”

Zayn chuckled and moved to his bed.  “I’m sure he’ll be entertaining.  Simon probably won’t ask him back after tomorrow.”

“God, I hope.  Even though I don’t think I will return.  I’d just like to know he didn’t get the choice.”

“Well, if he sucks, the public will beg for him gone.  That’s got to be good, right?”

Louis nodded.  He honestly didn’t want Harry to fail.  Falling behind him was fine.  He enjoyed it.  But he never would admit it.  Tomorrow would be stressful.  He couldn’t snap at Harry like he wanted to.  And tomorrow wouldn’t be any different. 

Yes.   He was an ass and could admit it.

 

 

*****

 

 

When the first boy, Ryan walked on it hit Harry that this was real.  The boys’ futures rested in his hands.  Even after talking to Gemma and Niall before, the pressure didn’t hit until this moment.

He knew what signed up for.  He knew his sister and Niall were probably pissed with him second-guessing himself about what he was feeling, unless people went through what he did in the past, they couldn’t understand. 

Louis was the only person that helped him through school.  His music mostly.  It was crushing when Louis turned out not being what he showed on the telly.

He had a lot to prove today and at the judges’ houses.  He needed to prove to Louis and everyone watching that he deserved to be here and knew what he was doing.

“Hi, Ryan,” he smiled as the lad took the stage.

“Hi, Harry.”

“And how are you?”

“I’m good.  Nervous.”

“I know it’s probably hard being the first but you’ll be fine.  And what song will you be doing?”

“’Creep’.”

Harry smiled and nodded.  “Well, good luck.”

No matter if Ryan was good and deserved a seat, Louis would find something to pick at.

“Well, Ryan,” Louis said and of course he got the first word.  “I think that was a great way to start of the show.  Well done.”

“I agree.  I will say it wasn’t as strong but you have proven yourself so I’m going to believe in you.  Take a seat.”

The crowd cheered but he knew not all would be worth the risk.  He had some that were weak at bootcamp but were given a second chance.  This was the last chance.

Leo was next and the first one sent home.  He got a few boos but they had to admit he oversang the song.  He did what none of the other judges did, send a contestant home with only one chair filled.

He knew people thought he’d say yes to every boy and flip-flop through all but he was taking this seriously.

The next boy was Finn, who picked the wrong song.  He chose “Closer” by the  _Chainsmokers_ which was a very generic song.  It was just a song and one thing he liked about Finn was he had a unique voice.  It didn’t suit these types of songs.

“Finn,” Harry finally said.  He bit his lip.  He really didn’t want to do this but it wasn’t even good enough to take the risk.  “We’ve heard so much from you but I don’t know what happened.  The song was wrong for your voice and it was almost flat.  I’m sorry but I can’t give you a chair.”

Finn just smiled sadly before walking off.

They heard two more boys, Caleb and Isaac, sending them both home before Louis said something.

“If you don’t start saying yes soon you’ll only have Ryan.”

“I know Louis.  But I’m not going to give a seat to everyone.”  He stared into Louis’ eyes, raising his eyebrow in challenge.  He knew what he was thinking.  What everyone was thinking.

Noah was the next one and was an instant yes. 

He had five chairs filled before his next no.

Louis had to admit Harry was doing his job.  Nate was the ninth and he didn’t have enough to switch seats, which was the interesting part of the six-chairs.

He was back in his usual style but with this black hat.  He didn’t know why but Harry going back to his usual look pissed him off.  The hat looked ridicule but he grudgingly had to admit it fit him.   Though, it didn’t mean he’d let Harry get away with this.

“Hi, Nate,” Harry grinned.  “And how are you doing?”

The boy bit lip, looking like he was going to be ill.  Louis knew the nerves he must be feeling at this point.

“I’m nervous,” he admitted honestly and Louis felt pity for the lad.

“That’s okay.  Just take a deep breath and go when you are ready.”

Unfortunately, the boy was horribly off key.  His stomach sunk when he thought of the honest opinion he would get.

Simon was the first to speak and like what he thought, Simon was harsh.  Not as harsh as he had been to some of the acts before Harry’s boy.  He’d like to think it was because of his age.

“If it was up to me I wouldn’t give you a chair.” 

Nate only nodded and thanked him.

Louis turned to Harry, expecting him to ingot Simon and give him a chair.

“Nate.  This is really hard but I have to agree.  I don’t think you’re ready.  So, I have to say no.  I’m sorry.”

And though many people say that, Harry sounded like he meant it and Louis had to watch Nate leave to make sure he heard correctly.  Harry had actually sent the boy home.

The next lad was Matt and Louis remembered him from bootcamp.  He argued to keep him and know he was going to see if he was right and what Harry was going to say.

Harry was aware of Louis’ eyes on him.  After every boy, Louis would look at him and Harry was ready to snap.  He never did that with Simon or Sharon.  Was he waiting for a break to get in an insult or bitch about his choice?

He had Chris and Ashely to go.  Now, he had to do his job.  And judge as fairly as he could.  He’d be lying his whole way to his next contestants.

As Matt started singing, Louis glanced to Harry who looked liked he’d want to be anywhere but here.  He was playing with his rings.

Sharon spoke first and Louis watched Harry.  His hands were clasped tightly around his mic and he was sure Harry would break it if he didn’t let go soon.

“Matt, that was one of your best performances.”

Matt smiled but Louis could tell it was forced.  He raised his brows as Harry went on and told him to take the final seat.

They ‘cut’ for a break and Harry dropped back in his chair.   He ran his hand over his face, almost pushing his hat off.

“What’s with the hat, Styles” Louis asked, getting a proper look at Harry as Sharon left for a break.

Harry glanced at Louis before turning back to the stage.  He couldn’t look at the stage and see Matt in one of the seats.

“It’s what I picked.”

Louis hummed and Harry thought he would leave him alone but he was mistaken.

“It looks likes you’re trying too hard, mate.”

“Well, not all of us want to look like they just climbed out of bed.”  Harry then turned and looked Louis up and down.  “I’d think of changing when we’re live.”

Before Louis could reply, they started back and the next boy was Chris.  The lad was just as good, not the best song chose but he sang it well to earn a spot.  He caused the first chair steal but that was the part of the excitement for this round.  A bloody pain for the judges.

Ezra took the stage.  He wasn’t a name the had stood out to Harry.  He only agreed to keep him because it would have been three against one.  No point and from what he remembered, he was a fucking wanker.  Preened under praise and applause.  He wasn’t the best they had and he was going to give a no if he stayed the same.

The performance was not good at all and Ezra wasn’t taking the rejection well.  Even after a second failed attempt.

“I really don’t think you get it, Harry,” Ezra snapped when he told him no for the third time. 

“I’m sorry, but my answer is no.  It just wasn’t your best performance.  I gave you another chance and I still a few boys left.”

“Can I try again?” Ezra sounded desperate and Louis was wondering if Harry would give in this time.  He was already trying to be firm. 

“No.  I’m sorry but I’ve made my decision.  I’m not going give you a chair.”

Ezra looked pissed and Harry was worried that the man would punch him.  Instead, he flipped him and growled out “fuck you”.  Well, Niall would love this story when he told him tonight.

Simon and Louis have been cussed at in previous years but he had the honour of being the first one this year. 

He dropped his head in his hands and groaned.  He knew this would make Niall’s day but it was still exhausting when it was aimed at you.

“Are you okay?” Sharon asked, smiling kindly.

Harry looked over to Louis who was biting his lip.  Either hiding a smile or a laugh, he didn’t know.

“I’m fine.  Probably will be great for the show?” he joked but he felt his stomach drop.  Why were the events to make good entertainment were the ones that involved him?

They didn’t wait long before sending the next lad out and Harry almost cheered in relief when Ash walked on.

“Hi, Harry,” Ash grinned as he stopped in the middle.

“Hi, Ash.  How are you feeling?”

He felt like he was being repetitive with the question.  I was always going to be the same answer. 

“I’m good.  Not that nerves,” he teased and Harry just smiled wider.

“Confident.  Good for you.  Okay, go ahead.”

Ash picked “In My Blood”, which was an interesting choice.  A new song and the first to perform it. 

As good as Ash was.  Noah was still the best of the night so far but still a yes.  He also was the second to steal a seat and that was harder than just sending a boy home.

He knew he couldn’t take a long time but it was hard.  Matt and Noah were obvious nos.

“Okay, I’m going to give you number four.  I’m sorry, James.”

The two boys hugged and then Alex came.  The good ones were apparently at the end, making his job harder.

By his last act, he had three of his originals, which wasn’t horrible since he went through.  He was sure Zach wanted to kill Chris for stealing his seat and the last second.  Zach was so close but Chris had such a unique voice and his song chose was perfect that he couldn’t say no.

“There’s your group,” Simon said, pointing to the lads and Harry just smiled.  “Happy with your choice?”

He asked Sharon that and basically told Louis just be happy.

He was happy.  Ahs didn’t disappoint, Noah was fantastic and Chris and Elliot were a surprise.

Before he went up on stage he took one last look at the boys hugging each other.  They would be cut in half and a new boy would join them when the wildcard was announced.  He just hoped he liked the boy or maybe not.

Noah, Chris, Matt, Ash, Ryan and Elliot. 

At least they had a break before the house part.

Harry walked backstage, avoiding Simon but not Louis. 

He had to pass Louis’ room to get his, who was outside his with Zayn, laughing.

Not letting Louis get the first word, Harry smiled when Louis caught his eyes.

“Louis,” he smiled.  Louis opened his mouth but he didn’t stop to hear.

Zayn nudged Louis and laughed.  “You got to admit, Styles was impressive.  Not saying I like him,” he rushed out when he met Louis glare.  “He actually did his job, though.”

Louis pursed his lips, looking down where Harry disappeared.  He had to admit that he should have given Harry more credit and not base his opinion on interviews.  But one good day didn’t mean he wouldn’t bend under the pressure when the show actually started.

“Well, the boy proved he is mature.  Still, say he will break.”

Harry had this image that he had to play for the public but he was seeing what Harry was behind closed doors.  And it was the classic act most celebrities used.

When he started, he didn’t try to act to please people.  He was who he was and people accepted it.

“Sure.”  Zayn rolled his eyes.  “At least you get a break now.  Is Perrie still your guest?”

“Yep,” Louis said, still looking down the hall.  “I called her last night.  She also excited that I have the Girls.  I have a backup anyway, so if she had to back out, I’m covered.”

“And yet, I don’t think Perrie would do that.”

“No.  She wouldn’t.  Do you know who Harry has?”  Louis was trying to remember a time where Harry mentioned who he was bringing but he only remembered Simon and Sharon’s guests.

“Never heard.  Don’t think he talked about it.”

“I’m sure they announced it but like the ‘Harry’ news, you ignored it. “

“Or maybe he didn’t have anyone and the show had to pick for him.  He never hangs around anyone when he’s at parties.”

Zayn grinned cheekily and patted Louis' shoulder.  “Been watching him, yeah?”

Louis turned to his friend, glaring.  “Hard to avoid someone without watching out for them.  And he’s never around anyone but the Horan lad.”

“If so, I say he’s Harry’s pick.”

“Kind of funny that Harry has someone who’s more successful than he helping him out.”

“Harry’s not really behind Niall.  Really, you’re the only one who cares about this shit,” Zayn argued.

“No, I’m not,” he snapped.  He really wasn’t concerned about of artist unless it was when he was releasing an album or up for an award.  He can admit there many talented artists in the industry but no one was ever compared to him until Harry came along.  000

“You are,” Zayn corrected with an eye-roll.  “Not worried that this will take Harry out of your shadow?  Getting scared?”

“It’s been four years and he’s only managed to get to number one with that one song.  Even his last album, though it went to number one, it was still below my last one.”

He felt a bubble of satisfaction filled him.  He would never admit it but when Harry released his newest album, he waited anxiously for the numbers and felt a wave of relief wash over him when he still beat Harry.  Though, no one mentioned him except to say Harry only made it to the top because he wasn’t around.  For some reason, he didn’t know how he really felt about that comment.   He’d hate if the roles were reversed.

“Still trying to inflate that large ego you have, Tomlinson?  I don’t think anyone will forget you.  You still get thousands of tweets asking you to come back.”

“Still.  Wanting someone to come back and then having them come back are two very different things.  I’m worried that they won’t like the new songs.”

“Two years is not a long time.  Singers have gone off for longer and still have great reception.  And from your being on X-Factor, you are still in the public eyes.  Not like most and they don’t have a problem.  You sure won’t.”

Zayn was right but he didn’t understand.  He wasn’t a performer.  Liam may help but he also hasn’t gone on hiatus.  Really, he was on his own in this. 

“I guess.  But who says it’s going to be two years?  Maybe three of four.”

Zayn shrugged and pulled Louis to the back door.  “Then that’s what you say and your fans will have an even bigger meltdown and cry of happiness when you announce your return.  Simple.”

“You make that sound so easy,” Louis groaned as he pushed the door open, almost falling back when a large gust of wind hit him.  “But not to be a dick, you kinda don’t know this shit.”

“Now I remember why I don’t like helping you.  You are such a drama queen.”

“I am not,” Louis cried as Zayn walked to the car that was waiting for them.  “These are actual concerns.”

“If you wanted help, you wouldn’t bitch at everything Liam or I say.  You like the attention.  And you know it.  Why else would you try out for the X-Factor?”

“Like you don’t?  You hate people touching you and yet you became the host.  You like hosting.  It gets your attention without the stress and demands of a tour.  Don’t be a hypocrite, Malik.”

From being touched, Zayn hated when someone was right about him.  It wasn’t a bad thing.  Most entertainers liked the attention.  Otherwise, they wouldn’t be on a stage, performing for thousands.

“I can admit it, though.  I told you when I first got the job.  It’s not my fault that you are using known knowledge to help yourself.”

He actually didn’t forget but it helped his case until he also remembered that Zayn said that he’d rather that than singing when Liam complained about his record label wanting to push his album two months ahead.  Yeah, maybe Zayn was onto something.  Though, Zayn was always relaxed so he really didn’t know if the younger lad was pissed or not.

“I am not.  I’m just saying you can’t talk shit about what I do when we are all the same.”

“True.  But some people handle it better.”

“Don’t use your boyfriend as an example.”

Zayn rolled his eyes as he got out of the car when it stopped in front of the hotel.

“He’s your mate, Louis.  And I’m not talking about him.  Horan seems like he’s unaffected by this.”

“And yet he hangs out with Styles.”

“And I hang out with you.  Let’s just agree we all like the attention in some way and get trashed to celebrate the start to another step closer to the finals.  Were you will win again.”

“I honestly don’t care.  Just want Styles to be out first.”

“Well, since he’s young and a first timer, I say you have nothing you worry about.”

“I really hope you’re right.”  He couldn’t handle if Harry got to the end and he didn’t or both getting to the ends.  Sharing the finals with Harry would be a nightmare.

 

 

*****

 

 

 

“You know, if you actually stayed at your place, we could be Skyping,” Harry said as he walked around his room.  He’d only just got into his room before Niall called him.  Apparently texting him that he was done was a bad idea.  At least Niall didn’t call him when he was in the car.

“Well, some of us have to work, Haz.  Do you miss my face that much?”

Harry could hear the smug smile he was sporting and he would love nothing more than to smack it off.

“I don’t think I’m missing anything.  And I am  _working._ ”

Niall laughed too loudly that even pulling it away, he heard it clearly.

“I do need my ears, Niall,” he snapped.

“Sorry,” Niall said, though he didn’t sound sincere.  “Anyway, how did your big day go?  Got to be in charge and put Louis in his place?”

“Um, no.  Actually.”

The day actually went better than he expected.  Yes, Louis was still an ass but he said nothing he hasn’t heard before.  It was really Ezra that beat Louis tonight.  He knew if Louis was being ‘nice’ something else had to happen.  He didn’t have great luck and that proved when Ezra came.  However, he realized a sickening thing in that moment.  Ezra’s words didn’t have the same impact as the ones that came from Louis.  Not that they didn’t hurt.  It’s just he got that in almost every tweet comparing him to Louis or an article.  He was used to it.  Louis was something different.

Maybe because his team warned him about the press and other artists’ fans.  But Louis was different.  He was his crush from his X-Factor days.  He wasn’t someone he met after he got famous.  He met his crush when he was just starting.

Louis was before all of this.  He  _was_  different and that’s probably why it hurt.  Louis bullying him.  Letting his fans do the same.  His fans actually got into fights with Louis’ fans over Twitter.  It was kind of funny and sweet seeing people there for him.  Even though he never met them, he never had anyone stand up for him.

He wanted to thank them but he wasn’t allowed to acknowledge their fights.  That would start something bigger.  He was warned not get involved.  But that didn’t mean he couldn’t watch.  He found out teenage girls were scary.

He wondered if Louis’ team told him the same thing.   He figured.  Louis never commented on an on-going fight.  Though, he always started on.  Usually defending Liam.  Which was sweet.  But when an award show came, he was Louis’ target.  And that usually started Twitter fights.  Niall even got in it a couple of times but had no restrictions from his own team.  It was still entertaining.

“He commented on my clothes,” he offered.  “Which wasn’t anything new.  It was actually weak.  He was saying things I’ve already read online.”

“Maybe he’s realizing you actually can do your job.  Just because you’re three years younger doesn’t mean shit.  You graduated school and were going to uni.  That’s impressive.”

“You and Louis also finished school,” he pointed out.

“Barely.  Was more focused on music.  You actually got accepted!”

“Doesn’t really matter when you didn’t go.  But, really, I think Louis just knows what to say.”

“Did You make Tomlinson speechless?”

“Um, no.  Not really.  I don’t really know.  But I think he just thought I wouldn’t be able to say ‘no’ to any.”

“Well, if you have six, then you did.”

“Not the point, Niall.  I actually didn’t have any arguments from the audience as Simon and Sharon did.  There were protests but the audience is really supposed to cheer for everyone who sings.”

“Mmm.  That’s true.  So how were the boys?  Did Matt get a chair?”  He already knew the answer but he figured he should ask and not assume.

“Sadly,” the young lad mumbled.  It had been the worst choice he made tonight and he had to do it.  “He was one of the best and it would have looked odd if I let someone else get his chair.  I’m just hoping when I have to make the final decision, someone is better so I can say no.”

“Hold me back, so I don’t punch him.”

“You do know that this a different Matt, right?  Like, I don’t even know where Matt is.  Also, he’s not that bad of a lad.  It’s just memories come whenever I see him, which isn’t fair.”

He didn’t want an encounter with Matt like the movies did.  He didn’t want to meet his bully, showing how successful he was and how he moved on.  It was too cliché and so unrealistic since he lived in London.

“Doesn’t matter.  He already sounds like a twat.”            

“Maybe it’s just in my mind.  Has a name that reminds me of my past.  I might be looking at him like I am because of his name.”

It was a thought he had each time he saw Matt’s picture.  But at the same time, he had this attitude that reminded him of Matt, aside from the name.

“Nah.  From what you told me, he sounds like an arse.  But I’ll judge him when I see him.  Though, don’t think it will change that much.”

He was so grateful for Niall.  Even though Harry could have elaborated his past—which he didn’t—Niall believed him and was still here.

Who would lie about what he went through?     

“Glad I have your support,” he deadpanned.

“Always here for you, Haz.  So, you have a month before you start filming again.   Any plans?”

Really, he didn’t think about anything but the show.  And now he was done for a bit, he didn’t have any plans.

“I guess I could go home.  Mum will probably like that.”

“Honestly, Haz, you are like the only person I know who has no idea what to do on a break.”

“It’s not like I just got back from tour,” Harry defending, feeling like Niall was judging him.  Which, he did do often but he didn’t need it now.  Louis already had that spot filled for the next few months.

“You even plan your relaxation times when you are off tour.”

“I do not!  I don’t like just staying in my flat until I have to leave.”  He did that enough in school.  School and then home.  That was his routine until he went to uni.  He spent too much time stuck at home.  He was no confidence to go out and touring was a routine.  After he had control and he busied himself.  Which he knew from Niall and Louis’ Tweets that they stayed at home for days before going out.

He liked being busy.

“I’ll go home if it’s going to please you.”

Really, that was a good idea.  He hasn’t been at his mum’s since March and he didn’t have any reason to stay around until he had to film again.  Also, Niall would probably hate him if he hung out each day he recorded. 

“It will.  And not because I want you gone,” Niall rushed out.  “I just think you need a break from all this shit.  From Louis.”

“You sure you just want me gone so you don’t have to invite me to the studio,” he teased as Niall snorted.

“You know that I won’t leave you alone.  Better be available.  Just because you are gone doesn’t mean you’re safe.”

“Then what’s the reason to go home?”

“To see your mum,” Niall simplified and Harry could tell he was sporting his cheeky grin.

“Fine.  Anyway, gonna just record until I need you?”

“That’s the plan.  Might take a week off.  Haven’t since June.”

“I think you need it.  You’ve only been complaining since you started.”

“And you’ve done the same since Louis came back into your life.”

“You make it sound like he’s my old lover.  We had sex once and that’s it.”

“The one and only time Louis was nice to you.  Kind of sounds like it.”

“If you think a shag and four years of humiliation means an ex-lover, you really haven’t been in a relationship.”

“You don’t need to date; just find a bloke.”

“That’s not fair.  I’ve been in the studio and on tour.”

“So, have I.  Doesn’t mean I didn’t have time for sex.  Face it, Haz.  Louis fucked you over.”

Harry scowled, wishing he could see Niall’s face.  It wasn’t the same staring at a wall.  “You’re giving Louis a lot of credit there.  What if I just want to focus on my music?”

“You’re twenty-three, Haz.  Y-”

“And you’re twenty-five.  And still single.”

“You had a crush on Louis.  You trusted him when you met him.  You let him in.  Which was hard for you to do. I listened. Louis was the first person that didn’t know your past and he was still like those dicks back in school.”

Harry fell silent for a moment.  Niall was right but it was also his fault.  He created a picture of Louis in his mind before he even met him.  And Louis was the first person to treat him differently.  Well, Niall but he didn’t talk to the blond for that long.

He let Louis in.  He trusted Louis.  Which, he regretted the most.  He was those girls who fantasized about a guy, only to be crushed by what they thought was really just all in their minds.

The big part Niall didn’t know was that Louis was his first.  He was stupid and gave himself to the first boy who smiled at him.  Yeah.  He was a cliché.

“You make it sound horrible when it’s said all at once.”  But he had to hear it.  Niall said something similar when he told him everything but he needed to hear it now that he was working with Louis.  To remind him not to let his walls down again. 

That kiss was a mistake.  One that wouldn’t happen again.

“I guess you’re right.  I-”

“I know I’m right.  And I’m gonna be there on the first show to see that twat.”

Harry hummed and then grinned.  “This time, I’ll let it.”

“Even if you didn’t, I’d still come and fight so you’d have to let me in.”

“Yeah.  Just for that, I’ll let you in.  Don’t need you to cause a scene and have Louis on my ass.”

“See!  We can compromise.  Anyway, I have to go.  I’ll call you later.  Tell me when you're leaving so I know I can call your mum’s when you won’t pick up my calls.”

“Like I can ignore you.  You’d fill up my inbox and still call.”

“Hey, I don’t like to be ignored when I-”

“Like I can.  Just go before this turns into an hour-long argument.”  Which it has before.

“Love you too, Harry,” he laughed and then cut the call.

He wasn’t planning on staying at his mum but he didn’t know when he would have a chance between now and Christmas to visit.  He decided to pack a little more just in case he stayed for the whole month.  First, he needed to call his mum but he already knew the answer.  Still, he liked to warn her.

Maybe this was the break he needed.  Get away from this life.  Be with his family.  The people that loved him.  Niall was right.  He had to give the Irish lad credit and if he told him, he’d never hear the end of it. 

Honestly, though, he didn’t mind.  He longed for a friend like Niall, well, maybe not as hyper but he wasn’t like any of the kids at his school.  Not even the slightest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The judges' Houses part will be split into two chapter, Louis' and then Harry's.


	6. Judges' Houses: Louis'

“You honestly did that?” Zayn asked in disbelief.

Louis shrugged and smirked.   “I was given the opportunity and I took it.”

Zayn shook his head with a smirk, more in shock than amusement.  Even with Louis’ ongoing battle with Harry, this was something new.  “Harry is going to kill you when he sees you again.”

Louis knew that when he gave Ezra a spot at Harry’s house, the lad was going to have it out for him but he was sure he wouldn’t get in.  The bloke wasn’t really that good but having Harry be nice to a lad who cussed him out on camera was something he was going to have to record.

“Like he has anything good to say.  You and I both know he can’t hold his own and Ezra won’t get a spot.  I just can’t see Harry and I want to remind him I’m still here.

Zayn snorted and smiled widely.  “I really doubt he’ll forget.  But it’ll be entertaining to interview him when I’m there.  Also, maybe give Harry some credit.  He’s holding his own.”

Louis just looked out to the garden from the terrace.  It was sunny and hot and Louis just wanted to be inside but he needed to clear his mind.  He had a big day tomorrow and an even bigger day after.

Today, he was just relaxing.   Taking in as much peace and quiet as he could.

“So, when do you have Harry?”

They hardly talked about the show in the past hour and now Louis just couldn’t ignore it.  This was still work.

“I have Simon and then Harry.  He’s the last.”

“How was Sharon’s?”

“Uneventful.  Just went to Los Angles and I feel like the Overs is a weak category this year.”

“Samantha and Angie aren’t that bad.  Wait!  Did they make it?”

Zany pulled his cigarette out and scowled beneath his sunglasses.  “I’m not telling.  You may be my best mate but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna tell you. 

“You have all the best secrets.”

“Umm, no.  I don’t know who is going home or who will win.”

“Still.”

He stared at the perfectly manicured lawn.  He never really stayed in places long enough to relax.  And this hiatus was meant for that.  But he started the X-Facto and only stayed in four places long enough to enjoy himself.  And that was really egotistical.  He was whining about only going to four places when he was lucky he had that.

“So, who got you?”

“Simon,” he groused with a frown.  It would have been interesting if Harry got him but then again, Harry may actually kill him when the live shows started.

“Ha!  Rough,” Zayn smirked.  Well, Louis sent Ezra so he was kinda asking for this.  “And who did he pick?”

“Lilly Clarke.  From bootcamp.  I wanted her gone and now I think Simon is enjoying this.”

“Like you and Ezra?” Zayn smirked.

“Oh, shut it.  This is different.”

“How so?”  It really was the same, though, he’d have to admit that Louis and Harry’s feud was far different than this.  Simon was probably pissed that Louis upstaged him last year.

Louis glared at Zayn but then he just ignored him.

“And where are the girls?” the younger man decided to ask, sensing that Louis was done on this topic.

Louis reached over, taking Zayn’s cigarette.

“Get your own damn cigarette,” Zayn snapped, snatching it back and threw the package laying on his armrest to Louis.  He handed him the lighter before the older lad could bitch.

Louis lit the smoke and inhaled deeply before answering.  “Doing tourist shit, I think.”

“And when’s Perrie coming?”

“She’s already at her hotel but won’t be here until we’re ready.”

“Well, I’m sure the girls will love that.”

“Yeah.  Probably would be more awkward if I had Liam here.”

“What if Harry got the Girls?  Doesn’t have any female friends.”

“Not according to the media.   He has a different girl every month.”

“True.  But is he ever seen with them after a new woman is introduced?”

Harry had to have more mates than Niall.  He couldn’t be in this industry for this long and only know Horan.  Or maybe Niall was the only one he trusted enough.  He was right when he said Harry was going to choose Niall.  However, and he hated to admit it but he already had a connection with the lad.  Sometimes you could tell the judge and guest knew each other but not well.  Niall and Harry had an advantage and probably would be entertaining.

He would do his job tomorrow and that would be it.  This was never a fun part to film.  He hated it last year and he had the Groups which probably was arguably the hardest category.  He only had to mentor one at a time and not three or five.

He was still surprised that he won.  Usually, it was a boy or girl.  This year would be easier.  Well, for his category.  Not dealing with Harry.

“Though, girls seem to love Niall,” Zayn said.  “He’d probably be fine.”

“Why are you defending him?”

The lad just shrugged.  Maybe it was twisted but he wanted to see Harry succeed.  Not win.  He still had to support Louis but he also loved to see Louis lose it when Harry got a step up.

“Just a fact.  Not defending him.  Maybe give him some credit.   Simon obviously saw something.”

“Simon is a twat.”

“He is but you got your start here.  He gave you a yes.”

Louis thought for a moment.  He was right but he wasn’t about to admit that this early into the show.  Maybe if Harry won—no, he wanted to win—if he got to the finals, he may reconsider his opinion on Harry.  Maybe.

 

 

*****

 

 

“I actually like this house more than the one you had in Bermuda.”

They were by the rail, overlooking the garden.  This was the final moment of peace he’d get until he got back to London.

“It’s more relaxing.”  He had to agree. 

“Are you getting ready or are you already are?”  a voice asked from behind them.

The two men turned around and saw the blonde woman standing a few feet behind them.

“Perrie,” Louis grinned as he walked over to her and pulled her in for a hug.  “Finally made it.”

“I’ve been here for ten minutes, listening to you basically being boring.”

Louis pulled back and rolled his eyes.  “About to spend the day listening to the girls and decide on their fate.  I don’t want to think right now.”

“Sure, Louis.  Hey, Zayn.”  She smiled at the host and hugged him

“Glad to see you again.”

They didn’t get a moment after that before a crew member walked up.

“We’re ready whenever you are.”

Louis looked to the woman and nodded.  “Yeah.   Let’s do this.”

They walked to the stone patio in the middle of the garden where cameras and the chairs were set.

A man ushered Zayn to a spot around the corner or somewhere.  Louis wasn’t really paying attention right now.

A woman took Perrie and Louis to the front of the house where the girls would be waiting.

“Okay,” the woman said.  “Whenever you are ready and Perrie, you’ll go when Louis is finishing introducing you.  Any questions?”

Both singers shook their heads and the woman smiled.  “Alright.   This is all you, Louis.”

The lad took a deep breath before pushing the doors open.  He smiled widely and clasped his hands like the fans always pointed out when he did.  He still didn’t stop.

“Hey, girls.”

There were a few girls who replied but most just smiled excitedly.  This was different from last year when he had the Groups.  There were more people; a little more intimidating.  There were only seven girls here and less chaotic.

“I hope you know how big of a deal this is and I know you are nervous.  I was standing right where you were seven years ago.  But you just have to go out there and do your best to impress me.  And just remember to enjoy yourself.”

The girls all nodded and somewhere smiling. Even if they didn’t get through, he hoped they cherish this memory.

“And of course, I won’t be doing this alone.  I’ve brought help.  And I’m sure you all know her.  Come here, love,” he turned his head to the opened door and watched Perrie walk out.

The girls cheered as Perrie walked up to Louis.  She hugged him quickly before turning to the girls.  It was weird being on this side of the show but she was honoured that Louis chose her.  She’d known since the Brits but they were finally here.  Also, Italy wasn’t a bad perk either. 

“Hi, everyone,” she smiled and Louis smiled at how happy the girls were.  He hoped this would help calm them.  They both had this experience.  They had an advantage to the other judges.

He wasn’t hurt that Perrie got a bigger applause.  She was a great singer and Little Mix was releasing an album soon.

“I hope you know how amazing it is that you are here.  And I know this is scary.  The girls and I have been in your shoes before but you are lucky to have Louis.  He knows first hand what the judges are looking for.  Just don’t let the nerves get to you.”

Perrie turned to Louis and smiled.  Louis smiled back turned to the girls again.

“Okay, I think we should start.”

Perrie and Louis sat in the chairs, catching up before they were signalled to start and get one step closer to the end and the purpose of today.

“So, how nervous are you?” the girl asked as they sat.  She was just here to help but Louis had the pressure of picking the right girls to win.

“Not so much as last year.  Like I told Zayn: it’s more relaxing hearing one voice.”

“And yet, I was one of those groups once.”

“But it was my first year,” he defended weakly.

Perrie just smirked.  “True but you won.  So, stop whining.”

Louis just glared as they were signalled to start, saving Louis.

The first girl was Emma and was one of his favourites.

“Hi, Emma.  How are you doing?”

The girl took a deep breath and gave a smile.  “Hi.  I’m okay.”

“Just breathe love.  You’re okay.”

The girl just nodded and Louis smiled encouragingly at her.

“Start whenever you’re ready.”

Emma took a deep breath and began to sing a rendition of “Bleeding Love” and it was good.  A great start.

Her hand was shaking but that really was her only problem.

“Thank you, Emma,” Louis smiled as she smiled back.

They waited until she disappeared before Perrie started.

“I liked her.  She looked a little nervous but she a great first act.  What to do you think?”

“She wasn’t as good as Six-Chairs.  I could see her hand shaking but it she was great.  The only concern I have is that she only has sung upbeat songs.  And this is a change, I want to know what she sounds like if I asked her to sing a ballad.”

They were only supposed to give brief feedback until tonight when they really had to be brutal and honest.  He couldn’t help himself though.

They let Steph in, who was next and she actually was good.  Shaky in some places but she hit the notes, and was in key.  Mostly.  It was probably the nerves.  Which, who wasn’t nerves at this point?

“Thanks, love.”

Steph echoed his ‘thank you’ and walked away to let the two judges talk.

“She wasn’t that bad,” Perrie said with a small smile.  “I mean, I don’t know if that was the right song.  I’m only hearing her today but the song didn’t really fit her voice.”

“As much as it pains me, I have to agree.  She was great at six-chairs and today she was good but I don’t think it was the right song.”  He felt like a tit for saying that.

The next girl was Laura and Louis wasn’t actually listening to the audition, which was a problem. He was too focused on the song.  It sounded so familiar but he couldn’t put a name to it.

“That was great, Laura,” Perrie said, taking the reins on this audition.  “I loved how you put your own twist on it to make it yours.”

“Thank you,” Laura beamed like it was the best compliment she’s ever gotten.  Well, it was from Perrie.

“Well done,” Louis added.  Perrie saved him.  He didn’t realize that he had spaced out until the song ended.   It was bad that he spaced out but the song distracted him and he couldn’t figure out why.

“Was that one of Harry’s songs?” Perrie asked as soon as the girl left.

Louis almost jumped out of the chair and gasped.

“That’s it!  It sounded too familiar.”  He figured he heard it on the radio once or something like that.  He never listened to Harry’s music but he’s heard him sing at the Brits last year and he could say the girl did the song well.  She slowed it down a bit and if he was being honest, it sounded better upbeat.  He would never tell Harry that.  Hell, he’d never admit it.

“He did it at the Brits, right?”

“I think.”

“Anyway, what did  _you_  think?”  Perrie asked

“I actually really liked her.”

“That song is great but I also liked that she slowed it down.  It gave it a nice twist and made it her own,” Perrie gushed.  Apparently, there were people besides Niall who liked Harry’s music.

He made a mental note to listen to the song tonight.  He was judging blindly and he was at a disadvantage now that Perrie knew the song and seemed to like it.  He was just going off on how he remembered the song.

“It’s always a risk where someone put their own twist on a song that’s popular but this worked.  It was captivating.”

He didn’t know if it was enough to get her through.  They still had four more girls to hear and picking three out of seven was never easy or hard.  Last year was easy.  Almost too easy and he felt like he fucked up.  But apparently not.  He won.

They had a break before the next girl and Zayn came over, taking a seat on Perrie’s armrest.

“I guess you are doing good.  Haven’t had anyone crying yet.”

“Still early, Z.  And we still have four.  I’m sure someone may crash under the pressure.”

It didn’t always happen but there was always the risk.

Zayn hummed in agreement.

“You know, even though we both won, we weren’t intimidated about the long waits between acts.”

“You’re right but I just want to get tonight.  I hate these breaks.  The live shows are better.”

“Was he like this last year?” the woman smirked as Louis dropped his head back.

“He’s worse this year because he knows what he’s up against and wants to see Harry,” he sing-song the last part, making Perrie laugh.

“You make it sound like we’re more than rivals.”

“What is it with you two?  Like honestly, the girls and I have no idea.  All of a sudden, the media was talking about Harry being behind you.  Which, in standings, he is.  But they are almost mocking him.”

“Ask Lou about the tweets.”

“I know about those but Harry seems like a nice guy.  We talked to him at the Billboard awards.”

“Just an act.”

“So, he says,” Zayn chimed in.  “I just say that the tweets have got to Styles and broke him.”

They were all wrong.  Harry wasn’t acting.  He was only treating Louis how he treated him for years.  He’s protecting his heart, as Niall would say.  Harry was just going back to his defensives from school: not reacting.  It was working until it wouldn’t.  He knew his breaking point would come.   He was expecting it.  Nothing worked out for him.  Getting signed was supposed to be a new start.  Louis made sure it wasn’t.

They started back shortly after that with Lilly.   As horrible as it sounded, he wasn’t hopeful.  He fought to cut her for a reason.  But there was hope.

“Hi, Lilly,” Louis greeted when she walked up. 

She looked happy that she was getting a second chance and hoping for a spot.  Really, she had just as much of a chance as any of these girls. He had his favourites but he wasn’t basing his choice on previous performance.  Today’s was the most important and then he would look back.

“Hi,” she smiled timidly.  It was rare that someone smiled at him and wasn’t nervous.  Actually, Harry was probably the shyest person he ever met at the time.  Now, the lad seemed to come out of his shell. Or so it seemed.

“How are you feeling today?”

“Nervous.  Can’t believe I’m here.”

He couldn’t either.  As much as it made him sound like a dick, he was more pissed at Simon for giving her false hope.

“Well, take this in and take a deep breath.  You’re fine.”

“This is your moment.  Enjoy it,” Perrie added.

Lilly nodded and took a deep breath before she started a Sam Smith song.  It was one of his older ones so he didn’t remember the name but he remembered the song.

“Wow,” Perrie grinned and turned to Louis, fixing her sunglasses.

The sun was off to the side now and but it was still hot like it was noon.  Louis really wished they were in the shade but he couldn’t ask to be moved now.  He had to endure the heat until it set which probably wouldn’t be that long.  They had three left before the big decisions.

Louis just nodded and closed his eyes.  Luckily, his sunglasses hid his expression.

“You were a surprise,” Louis started.  “That was your best performance.”  He just had her bootcamp performance to go by so it was a bit of a stretch.

“Thank you,” the girl said before walking off.

“She honestly surprised me.  At bootcamp, she wasn’t the best but she’d redeemed herself.”  The question was, was it enough?  She was up against girls who were good and earned their spots.

“She was good and engaging.  I think she earned her second chance.”

Louis hummed.  He had to disagree.  He didn’t think she earned her spot.  She was good this time but she didn’t make it because there were better girls than her.  Perrie hadn’t seen her in the start so she was just making an opinion on what she heard today.  Like all the guest judges though.

“She definitely proved to me.”

Rachel was the next girl and she rivalled Olivia.  Both girls were good but both did completely different songs, showcasing their ranges.  This was when his job became hard and he had to only pick three.  But they were also too similar.  They could match each other and sometimes in these competitions, you can’t have two acts sounding the same.  Also, Olivia’s Six-Chair performance was slightly better.  And there was just something about the performance that he couldn’t grab onto.  It wasn’t that she was bad.  It was just one of those feelings you got and you couldn’t shake it until you figured it out but he doubted he could.

“She smashed that song,” Louis decided to start.

“It was good but I’m sensing something else.”

He really didn’t like being mates with singers.  They either caught on to your thoughts or disagreed.  Right now, it seemed like it was both.

“She was good,” he started, “But I feel like she held back a bit.  Played it safe.”

Perrie tilted her head and he felt her gaze on him through her sunglasses.  “How so?”

And that was the question of the night.  He couldn’t tell if he didn’t even know.

“It’s just… It felt like she restricted herself.  Didn’t hit the notes as high as they are in the song.  And that’s fine but it’s also a problem when you pick a song to fit you or don’t attempt the difficult parts.  She has a great range but she didn’t use it.”  That really was the best he could phrase it.  He really wasn’t even close to what he wanted to say.

He hasn’t been this confused in years and if someone was causing this, did he really want to take the chance?

“I think I understand but she’s also not the first person to have done that.”

“No.  You’re right.  Still, I don’t want her getting comfortable and thinking if she gets nervous then she can do the same thing.”

“You can tell her that.  You’ll be her mentor.”

Perrie was right but sometimes the contestants didn’t take their advice to heart and went back to their first problem.

Olivia came out soon after and as good as her voice was, it wasn’t her best and her performance was not memorable.

“How do you feel, Olivia?” he asked after she finished.  She looked like she was relieved to be done

“Okay.  I feel like it wasn’t my best.”  It wasn’t but Louis wasn’t about to voice it.

“It’s okay.   Nerves can get the best of you but you did a great performance.”

When the girl walked away, Perrie pointed out a good point she was more engaging than Rachel and that was one of the reasons that made his decision between Olivia and Laura so difficult

Before the last girl, Louis asked for a break.  The sun was now close to disappearing but being out in the sun for hours was getting to him.  Though they weren’t out in the sun for as long as the show would allude to, he was still feeling tired.

“Have any favourites?” Louis asked as he took his sunglasses off.  The sun was low enough where the brightness wasn’t a bother.  He folded them, hooking them over his collar.

“Aren’t you supposed to ask me that later?” Perrie smirked.

“I am but I want an honest opinion.  Not censored.”

“Okay.  Um…” she trailed off.   “You could always ask me later but I say Steph is a no and Laura was the best so far.”

He agreed.  He had two choices but now any of the girls had a chance.  When he had a moment to really think, then he would have a hard time.  Zayn would help later if he asked.  As much as the decision should be made by himself, he liked more than one opinion.  Liam and Zayn said that was cheating last year when they both had to help.

“Who’s the last girl?”

“Ella.  She’s also the youngest I have.”

“How old?”

“She’s seventeen and Laura is nineteen.  I hope Ella will be good but I also have three other girls I like.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll harass Zayn later like you did last year.”

“Liam was pissed when he heard that I asked Zany after he left.  And I was pissed at him for telling Liam.  They both said that was kind of cheating.”

“Kind of?  You’re using your friendship with Zayn for more help.  And I hope you didn’t actually expect Zayn to keep a secret.  You asked your two best mates who are also dating to keep it a secret.  Also, Zayn was bitching to Liam that he didn’t help you and you were using him.  He was more pissed at Liam.”

“How do you know this?”

“Zayn and I talk.  Mostly complaining about you.”

Louis just started at her and shook his head.

“I still can’t believe you went out together.”

“You know what, after this, I’m going to find Zayn.  I’m regretting my decision.  And we didn’t go out!  We went to Brits together because Liam had to cancel on Zayn and you took that bloke you were fucking.  I was a nice friend.  Despite Zayn being with Liam, apparently, he can’t be seen with a female anymore.  The cheating rumours were entertaining, though.”

“Styles is gay and yet he’s with a new woman almost every month.”

“Harry’s never come out.  But anyone in this industry knows he is.  So, until he makes an announcement, he’s straight to the public.”

“Yeah.  Okay let’s finish this,” he sighed. 

He didn’t want to get into it.  The point of this time was to get his mind away from Harry and yet he couldn’t get the curly bloke out of his head.  He was also the one that brought Harry up which meant Harry was already in his head.

Ella walked over, gripping her microphone, tightly.  He felt bad when he realized he made her wait for fifteen minutes.

“Hey, darling,” Louis cheered, trying to seem happy and in a good mood.

Ella smiled and though she looked tired, she didn’t sound it.  Which was good.  He wanted her to do her best and he would have felt like a dick if her long wait affected her performance.  Though at a concert, they were long and you were performing from start to finish.

“Hi.”

“And how are you feeling?  Sorry to keep you waiting.”

Ella giggled and smiled.  “It’s fine.  I’m just happy to be here.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that.  Just start when you are ready.”

She did “A Thousand Years _”_ and it was fine.  A great end and was almost ready to say she was the best of the girls

“Thank you, Ella,” he smiled and watched her walked away.  He wanted to drop back into his chair.  He was exhausted, despite the fifteen minutes break he just had but was well aware of the cameras zooming in on him.

It also was going to be a long night.

“You know, I like her,” Perrie said.  “She had great control for being so young.  What do you think?”

Louis sighed heavily.  Ella just made his decision tougher.  He was almost certain which of the girls he was going to take but now he was going to have to work the order again.

“I agree.  I can’t make a decision yet but I want to say that was her best performance and the song choice fit her.”

 

The sun was set by the time they were sat around a table with photos of the seven girls. 

It had been a long day.  He had made notes of each girl after they sung and now he was going to give his full opinion. There were only two girls he was sure he would be sending home and it sucked knowing this early.  But it did help the next five girls.

Perrie looked at the table with all the pictures and turned to Louis.  “You know, you were once a picture and now here you are, looking at the pictures.”

Louis snorted as he looked to the photos.  “Thanks for that, love.  Liam told me the same thing last year”

“Just reminding you that you were here once.  Also, Liam can’t relate.”

“Which makes this decision harder.”

He’ll admit that Perrie would be able to give the help no one else could.

“I know what they must be feeling and the nerves when you are waiting for an answer.  I’m glad I’m not there now.  But it’s still not easy.”

He thought back to his days here but he had Simon as his mentor and as much as he appreciated the chance, he took on him, they’ve butted heads in the past years, especially when he wouldn’t go back into the closet.  He had been out before he auditioned and he made it clear the when he won he wasn’t going to hide.  He had to admit that he shouldn’t have been that bossy when he won but he was giving Simon two series now. 

He looked over the table as Perrie looked at him, waiting for him to start.  He glanced to Lilly.  May as well get her out of the way.

“What about her?”

Perrie looked down at the girl’s picture. “I think she did well.  There were a couple of girls the stood out more but she was a favourite.”

Louis looked down at the photo.  She was tricky.  She had a great performance but the other girls here earned their spots.

“As I said earlier, she was a surprise.  The only problem I have is that I only have her bootcamp performance to go on and the others I picked them.”

“It would be a bit of a risk I say but you’ve done it before.”

“I have.  But this year and last year are very different.”

He didn’t want to compare the years.  It wasn’t fair to the girls.

“Okay, how about Ella?  She a sweet girl and she’s been great in each of her song choices.  She has great control and manages to pick the right songs.  Although, she’s the youngest here so I don’t know how she will be during the live shows.  It’s not like here or the six-chairs.  It’s a massive audience each week and live.”

“That’s the concern with these young acts and those who aren’t consistent with each performance.  But you were nineteen and I was seventeen.  She’s the same age I was.”

“I almost forgot.  It’s been too long.  The perks with being that young, she has room to grow and I feel like the younger viewers would relate to her.”

“It sounds like you want to take a chance on her.”

It did but he still wasn’t sure about taking someone this young to London.  It wasn’t about the chance that she would be eliminated so early because she was so young.  He was worried that the pressure would get to be too much.  Yes, Perrie and Ella were the same age at this stage and as stupid as it sounded, some could handle the pressure at a young age and some couldn’t.

“Okay, Rachel?”  He figured get her done with now.  He still wasn’t sure what bothered him about her. 

“Still don’t know about her?”

He liked her and as a singer and judge, he should be able to figure out what was wrong or missing from her performance.  Maybe it was after listening to Rachel and Olivia together he realized they sounded to much alike.  But they didn’t sound the same also, Rachel did more ballads, which showcased her range better.

“No.  I mean, she was great today and proved why she was here but it wasn’t her best.  And I would like to take a chance on her but there’s—I don’t know.”

Perrie hummed as she looked at the other girls’ photos.

“I get it.  She’s a favourite but I also know that taking a risk isn’t always the greatest.  But with her, I think she just needs a little push and some guidance.”

He agreed with Perrie.  His group last year was just like Rachel and they won.  But would he have the same luck this year?  That’s his concern.

“I feel like I may be picking acts that are a risk and not an easy act.  Sometimes you just want someone that works without the thought that this is the best they can get.”

It may be shallow but being a judge, he now sees why the judges don’t often take challenging acts with them.

“Also, she only had been singing power ballads or songs with high notes.  Which is great but I want to see if she can do more.”

“I understand and with Olivia, she has proven today that she can sing different songs.

They were both good but he could only take one and he has already decided on Olivia.

“I liked her,” Perrie smiled, pointing to Laura’s picture.  “Great song choice too.  Fit her voice and the change made her stand out.”

Again, with the song.  He really had to listen to it tonight.

“What I like about her is that she doesn’t do the same types of songs.  Shows us her range and that she’s versatile with the song choices.”  Unlike Emma.  “I know it wasn’t her best but she was great at Six-Chairs.”

“Steph was good.  She let her nerves get to her and her performance wasn’t the best today.”  And he hated admitting it but she was next to Lilly.

“But if this is her cracking, I worry about the live performance.  Like, do you think she will work with you?”

Louis looked down at the smiling girl.  He always felt judged when he was critiquing her.

“The only concern I have is that there’re other girls here that have given her good competition.”

As much as Perrie was supposed to help, he was even more confused.

“Okay, lastly, Emma.  I like her but as I said she’s the same and I would love to hear something else.”

That’s something he could tell her but then there were times where singers could only sing one particular genre.  Which wasn’t bad when you were a recording artist but, on this show, you had to be diverse.

“I agree.  But I feel like that’s something you need to decide.”

The boy glared at the singer.  “Geez.  Thanks.  Okay.”  He looked down and pointed to Emma again.  “Who would you choose?”

The woman took a long look at each girl.  “I would choose her.”  She pointed to Lilly, causing Louis to keep his face blank.  He didn’t want people to criticize his reaction.  “Also, her and her.”  She pointed to Olivia and Rachel.

“Really?”  He was shocked about Lilly but Perrie had liked her more than he did.  And once he heard Rachel again, she and Olivia were too similar and he couldn’t take both.

“And you?”

Louis just grabbed Ella, Olivia and Laura.  He decided to take a chance on her. 

“Well, it’s your choices,” the blonde joked, causing Louis to chuckle.

“And you just made it bloody harder but I think I’m sure on my picks.  Sorry.”  But he didn’t sound the least bit sympathetic.

“Well, you’re welcome anyway.”

“Thanks.”  He hugged her and that was it for the night.  Well, for Perrie.  He still had some things to do but he was pretty sure with his picks.

 

 

*****

 

 

He was laying on his bed with his laptop on his chest and with Harry’s song playing when Zayn walked in.

“Why are you listening to Harry’s music?”  He laid beside Louis and looked at his screen.  “Not only are you're listening to his song, but you’re also watching the music video?” he asked in disbelief.  “Are you okay?”

He moved his hand to the other lad’s forehead only for Louis to slap it away.

“I’m only watching it because Laura sang it and changed it.  I’m comparing the two.”

“Aren’t you supposed to not do that?  Just add your own twist on it and shit?”  He looked at the screen which had a girl running through the rain.

“His was the only song I didn’t know today.  So, I kind of couldn’t tell if she did well.” 

It wasn’t needed to know each song the contestants performed but it did help.  He liked to though because he could help his acts better on putting their own twist but not going too far where the song wasn’t recognizable.

The song had a beat to it and thanks to Perrie, he now remembered Harry performing it at the Brits.  What was disturbing though was that he found that he didn’t hate it.  Something he would never admit.  It didn’t mean he was going to listen to his stuff now.  One song was fine as long as no one else sang one of his songs. He was good.

“The song’s not bad,” Zayn said, causing Louis to jump, forgetting that he wasn’t alone.

“I guess.  The lad can sing and can write if he wrote this.”  And he had pulled the song info and found out Harry was one of only two writers credited on the song.  Impressive since he was probably twenty-one when he wrote it.  Didn’t mean he liked Harry now.  He can admit when a writer was impressive though.

It took Louis until he was twenty-two before he had more freedom to write his own songs with little help.  Harry beat him in the writing category but the public didn’t care about who wrote the song if it didn’t do well or if it did.  Well, unless it was up for an award.

When the song ended, Louis dropped his head back.  Yeah, Laura was one of the best and she was definitely going through.  The other two, he was tossing around three. 

“Do you know who you’re gonna pick?”

Louis just shrugged his shoulders.  “Laura for sure but I have two more-”

“Is Laura the one who sang Harry’s song?  If you say yes, your fans are going to just love that.  Well, your most intense ones,” the younger lad joked. 

“She is.”  And he had to admit—not aloud—that Harry didn’t deserve the hate some of his fans gave him.  They sometimes went further than he would with the teasing.  He honestly didn’t know how they would react.  In all honestly, Louis hoped it wouldn’t be a big deal.  It was just a song by Harry but they should focus on Laura’s talent.

Zayn hummed and looked at the screen.  The next video was another one of Harry’s.  He had an urge to take the computer from Louis to listen to it.  He never heard much of the boy’s music but if he was a judge on the X-Factor and behind Louis, he had to be decent.

 “I thought I had them picked but now I’m going back and forth with two girls,” Louis continued, not realizing that Zayn wasn’t listening.

“Sorry.  Which two?”

“Well, Olivia and Laura for sure but it’s between Ella or Emma.”

Laura was one of the best today and he wanted Olivia because she was a challenge and he felt they would work well together.  Ella and Emma were tricky.  Ella was much better than Emma but her age was what threw him.  There was a big age difference between seventeen and nineteen and as much as he didn’t want to voice his own experience, last year the youngest they had was an eighteen-year-old girl.  Seventeen was a chance.  But Perrie did it.

“They were both sweet when I interviewed them.  Emma seemed a bit unsure of her performance.”

“It wasn’t the best but it also wasn’t the worst today.  But Ella is just young.  It all comes down to which one I can help more.  Sounds like an arse though.”

“Not really.  That’s what you have to do.  You have to choose girls that will work with you and engage the audience enough to get votes.  My opinion is just flip a coin.”  He laughed at Louis’ glare.  Apparently, Louis wasn’t in the mood to joke.

He hated that Zayn was like this.  It was never easy to only picking three and sending three or this year, four home.  He had less than thirteen hours to make a final decision.

Perrie was reminding him all day, as Liam did last year and he wished he could have just done this part alone.  Being reminded of the nerves and anxiety he went through wasn’t a memory he wanted to relive.  It’s been seven years ago.  Shit.

“Well, you’re calmer and surer this year.  Remember how you bitched how all but one was good enough and you didn’t know who to cut?”  The lad laughed at Louis glare.

“I’d like to see you do this shit calmly.  And besides, people are going to hate my picks in some way.”  It happened to him last year and he was sure each year before the judges’ choices didn’t agree with everyone.  It wasn’t possible to please everyone.

“Look, I know you can’t look at last’s years acts as examples but you won for a reason.  You brought a group that people liked enough to vote for.  You know what you are doing.  And even though this is only your second year, there are years where the judge that won, lost all three acts before the finals came the previous year.  Just do who you like and think who have a better chance at winning than the others.”

It was a point that was easier said than done.  There was a lot of pressure to get it right.  He was confident in his girls but he had to admit the boys were a strong group this series.  Unlike last year.  Nicole had them and all three were gone before the quarter-finals.  This year, if Harry picked right, winning against him may not be that easy.

The Overs were decent but the public usually went with a younger act.  Maybe he was biased but the groups were actually the weakest category here.

As he stared at his screen, he had a sickening feeling that Harry may surprise him this year and though he won on his first year, he didn’t want a back-to-back first timers win.  Harry would be put into the same league as he was in.  Zayn may think that wouldn’t be a bad thing but it was.

“The issue I have is both girls have reasons to take them and to send home.  Ella is better vocally but is so young.  I’m afraid if I take her she’ll crack under the pressure of a live audience each week.  With Emma, I’m worried about her vocally.  She let the nerves get to her but I’m sure she’ll work with me.  It’s just, the ages play a huge part in this.”

Perrie’s words of her being seventeen floated into his head and he remembered her audition.  As much a people would argue seventeen-years-old wasn’t a huge deal, it was.  He’s seen it since starting.  There were seventeen-year-olds who acted more mature than some nineteen-year-olds and some who weren’t.  Ella was just the former. 

“Well, what do you really feel?  I know I’ve joked but if you say Emma, do you feel like you made the wrong choice?”

Louis thought for a moment.  He’s done that but he felt the same way.  He doesn’t know which one he really wanted.

“I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work.”

“So, get rid of Olivia?  And take the two.”

“I like Olivia.  She’s one of the girls I really want.”

“Okay.  Fine.  Take someone else and scrap the two.”

“The problem is I wouldn’t know which one to choose.”

Zayn grinned.  “This is why I hate being your friend.  I’m going to bed.  Figure it out yourself.”

“What?  No.  You have-” the older lad cried as Zayn walked to the door.

“Goodnight, Louis.”

The singer groaned and flopped back on his bed.  Zany’s words stuck with him.  Maybe he should just take someone else.  But who?  Nobody stuck out.

 

 

*****

 

 

He walked out of the house with Zayn.  He’d be leaving Rome tomorrow with the girls but would be on a plane with Zayn.

“It’s scary how relaxed you are,” Zayn commented as they approached the crew setting up.

“Why?  I’m not allowed to?”

“No.  It’s just you are about to take four girls’ dreams away.”

“I’m well aware.”  He needed to be calm to talk to these girls because if he was freaking out, they could probably tell.

“Okay, Louis,” the lad standing by the camera walked up.  He was young, probably close to Harry’s age.  He seemed nervous like this was his first time here.  “Whenever you are ready, you can sit over there.”  He pointed to a chair on the terrace from the first day.

“Right.  And who am I starting with?”

“Lilly.”

“Right.”  May as well get started.

Louis took a seat in the chair and waited for Lilly.  He already felt sick and they haven’t even begun. The first was always the worst and it never got any better when he was giving bad news.  There were some that deserved a no but it still made him feel like shit.

“Hi, Lilly,” he smiled at the girl walking towards him.  “Have a seat.  How are you feeling today?”

Lilly folded her hands into her lap.  “Good.  I guess.  I thought about my performance and I’m happy with what I did.”

Shit.  This was going to be hard.  He argued that he should have started with a yes.  He was sure they edited anyway.  He never watched any of the episodes last year so he didn’t know.  But he might watch Harry’s house and some of the audition episodes to what fights made it.

“Well, you should be very proud of what you have done.  You impressed me last night.  You have improved since bootcamp and I think the song choice helped.”  He paused for a moment.  He was going the route of false hope that he wanted to avoid.  Cutting to the chase was the best but he felt like the girls needed to know how they did and why it was a no.

Lilly just smiled and nodded.  Another thing he hated.

“But the thing is, as much as your performance was great, it wasn’t your best.”

He could lie a little.

Lilly just muttered an “Okay”.

“And as much I would love to see you grow, I just don’t think you are ready right now.  I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”  The girl smiled sadly, not sure what else to say.  “Thank you.”

“Give me a hug.”

Lilly moved into his arms.  The hug lasted for only a second but wished he could have given her a longer one.  She was a sweet girl and despite hating her at bootcamp, the first ‘no’ was always the hardest.  And the next one wouldn’t be any easier.

“Hi,” Steph greeted before taking the seat next to the judge.

“Hi, Steph.  Tell me how are you feeling.”

“Nervous.  I’ve done all I could do.”

“Well, I‘m glad.  You have come a long way.  I’ll be honest though, I don’t think last nights was you greatest.”

Steph just nodded, still looking at Louis.

“And your previous performances have been so good but not great.  And the live shows put so much pressure that I’m worried that it may get to you.”

There were times where he knew the singer couldn’t handle the pressure the live shows put on them and then there were ones where they were worth the risk.  Steph was the former. 

“And I have made my decision and I’m sorry but I’m not going to take you forward.”

He grabbed the girl’s hand and gave it a light squeeze.

“Thank you, Louis.”

He watched the girl walk off before he dropped back.  Two down, four to go.  Three yeses and two nos.

Laura walked out next and she was smiling like always.  Like Ella and he finally made his decision on who got the final spot.

“Hello,” Laura smiled and for a second, he had a vision of Harry and how he always smiled in interviews even though he was being put down by the interview or at awards shows.  But his smile always dropped when Louis was around.  Laura’s didn’t.

“Hi, Laura.  How are you feeling?”

“Nervous.  I mean, being here is a big deal.”

“It is and you should be proud of yourself for all you have done.  I, um, I went over your performance last night and if I’m being honest, it was your best we’ve heard from you and a great song choice.  It’s always a risk to change a song but you made it your own and it stood out.”

“Thank you.  I love that song and I just wanted to sing it.”

Louis found he wasn’t fighting to hold the smile.  He didn’t know why but he knew it wasn’t because of Harry.

“Well, I’m not going to drag this out. I’ve made my decision and you’re through.”

The girl gasped liked even though Louis was praising her, she thought it would have been a no.  “Really?  Are you-”

Louis laughed and took her hands.  “I’m sure.  I’m taking you to the live shows.”

“Oh, my God.  Thank you, Louis.”  She pulled him in for a hug before pulling back.  “I’m sorry.”

The man just laughed and pulled Laura back in.  “It’s alright, darling.”

Olivia was next and his second yes.  Even though Laura was an easy yes, there was a time late at night where he woke up and reconsidered his decisions.  For someone who was so sure last year and so confident before bed, he’d never doubted himself so much.  He wanted to say it was the pressure of winning but he knew it wasn’t.  He wanted to win this year.  Or beat Harry at least. 

What was making him judge himself was Harry had a very strong category.  As much as Harry dragged before he gave his second chair away, his picks were the best of the boys.  Except for Ezra but that was just a joke.  He wouldn’t have given him a seat if it had been him.

Harry was slowly impressing him and showing that, though he was young, he knew what he was doing.

There was a small part of that wanted the lad to prove to the viewers that he deserved to be here or at least beat Simon.  Not him, though.  He said a small part.  Not enough to give up his chance to win.  No judge would be that daft.  But the thought that Harry would go up against him in the finals was a tempting thought.  Just like old times.  It has been two years and he wanted to see if he still got it.

Zayn came over when he asked for a break.  He knew like last night he was putting off the inevitable but he needed a breather with three left and one yes.

“Fuck, Louis,” Zayn groaned as he sat on the spare chair. “Could you have picked a different girl that didn’t hug so much?  I think Laura cracked my back.”

Louis just laughed.  “You’re the host. You signed up for the touching.”

“Yeah, but nobody should be that happy even if they got a yes.”

“Eh.  I like her.  Great voice and great personality.”

“And also, she got in on a Styles’ song,” Zayn smirked.  As much as he tried to understand the feud between Louis and Harry, he couldn’t help but laugh when Louis had to admit defeat at times.  But he knew that letting a girl in and ‘liking’ a Harry song was nothing. 

“We are not talking about it.  Doubt anyone will sing his songs at the live shows with him judging.”

It was always awkward when a contestant sang his songs and couldn’t be too harsh if it wasn’t the greatest.  He guests for Cheryl three years ago and a boy butchered one of his songs.  Last year a girl sang a song on the live shows.  He admired her bravery and it was flattering but a bit awkward.

“And yet it’s okay for you?” Zayn teased.

“It’s different.  Knowing Styles, he’d probably just say he loved it even though we all disagree.”

Zayn just smirked.  “You’re now forgetting the six-chairs?   He was tougher than Simon.”

“Well… Yeah.  One time.  We’ll see as it goes on.”

Zayn was about to respond before a crew member came.  As much as Louis would have loved to just end it, he still had three girls.

Not long after Zayn left, Rachel came and he wondered why they didn’t put Olivia and her back-to-back as a sick joke for him.  Though, Rachel was more theatre than radio and really, that was the only reason why she was a no.  Shitty reason but she’d be better in West End.

“Hi, Rachel.  Have a seat.  So, how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.  Nervous of course.”

“Well, I can understand.  First, I just what to talk about your performances.  You have been so consistent each time.  The one thing that worries me is that I’ve only heard ballads and don’t get me wrong, you are brilliant-” he paused for a moment, making sure Rachel was following.  “With this show, you have to sing any type of song we give you.”

“I understand.  I’ll try.  I want to prove myself.”

This was the part that made this hard.  The begging didn’t help and it made him feel worse when he had to crush their spirits.

“I know but I’ve made my decision.  You are so talented and it was really hard but I’m not able to take you to the live shows.  I’m sorry.”

“I really wanted this,” Rachel sighed, looking down at her hands.

“I know.  Come here.  I’m so sorry.”

Rachel hugged tightly before pulling back.  “Thank you, though.”

Emma was next and this was the moment where the viewers would either hate him or agree with him.  It happened last years and he was sure would happen to each judge.  They couldn’t please everyone.  But also, they knew more about the risk of each contestant than when the viewers only saw them for an hour on the telly.

He went back and forth with Emma and Ella.  The most he’s ever done with an act and as he watched Emma take her seat, he knew he made the right choice.

Ella was the last one and like Laura, she was always smiling.  Ella was just bubblier and he just hoped she could handle this.  She was the youngest he’d ever had.

“Hi Ella, sorry you’re last, again.”   Now the producers had to keep this for the end or take out the ‘sorry’ bit.

“It’s okay.”

“Well, since you’re the last, I’ll try to speed this up.  First, I just have to say how much you’ve grown from the first time we meet you.  What I’m thinking about, if I were to take you forward, the pressure of the live shows can get to people.  And you are young and have so much growing to do.  If I’m being honest, it’s a risk.”

He watched Ella carefully.  Her smile didn’t dim and she stayed silent.  Maybe that’s something he should have pointed out that she needed to be more outgoing.  But really, you can’t get more outgoing than trying out for the X-Factor.  Maybe socialize with the girls more.

“So, I have decided and it’s a risk I’m willing to take but I’m taking you to London.”

“Wait?  Really?”  It took her a second to realize what Louis had said.

“I’m serious.”

“Oh my, God.  Thank you.”

Louis chuckled and asked for a hug.  He just hoped he made the right decision and Perrie was right.  If she hadn’t reminded him, he would have been so stuck on Ella and Emma.

If he didn’t win, that would be fine.  He won last year.  He just wanted to get to the top three or not have Harry win.

Even though Harry was two years younger than he when he started, he had a year on Harry when he became a judge.

When they wrapped up filming, Zayn came back up and sat in the empty spot.  He had his sunglasses back on and a cigarette between his fingers.

“Happy with your girls?” Zayn asked as he took Ella’s spot.

“Yep.”  He really couldn’t compare last year to this year but he felt the same.  He had a feeling that he was going to get far this year.  With them, he didn’t know until the votes started to come in.

“Well, I hope you all the best.” 

Louis smiled, feeling the most relaxed since he started filming.  He was going to enjoy this until October where he had to finally see Harry again.

He was interested to hear the boys he picked and how the viewers responded.  As long as he beat him in some way, he didn’t care.

His peace was shattered by Zayn’s next words.  “Wouldn’t be fun if Harry made it to the finals or the semi-finals at least.  Both of your fans would go mental and take the battle you have with him to a whole new level.”

“It’s not a battle.”

Zayn just smirked at the defensive tone his friend’s voice took.  Harry was the only topic that could get a true reaction from him.

“Okay.  feud.  But you have to admit, it’d be entertaining.”

“I guess.  It’ll just be the same.  What would be funny is if he got knocked out before the halfway mark.”

Zayn made a face.  As Louis’ mate, he had to support him but he had to admit Harry deserved his success.  When he went to his room last night, he listened to most of Harry’s songs and he had to agree that his place here was rightfully earned.

“Yeah.  Well, maybe it’s time to give Harry a bit of a chance.  I’m not saying you should be friends with him but come on.”

Louis shot a dark look to his mate.  He was supposed to be on his side, not on mutual grounds.  He now couldn’t wait until London where he would see Harry again the true fight would begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next it Harry's house and that will be next week.


	7. Judges' Houses: Harry's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote Louis and Harry's chapters back-to-back, which is why I'm updating this week. 
> 
> Also, this chapter is only nineteen words more than the last chapter.

He was going to kill Louis.  He was going to kill him when he saw him again.  He got Sharon as his wildcard pick and his choice was really just a pick.  There weren’t really any acts that stood out for a second chance.  Well, Heather was the only women that stood out but she made it through Six-Chairs.  He picked a lad named Johnathan who didn’t get and chair.  And the wildcard didn’t make it, so why bother?  Louis’ pick for sure.   He knew Louis couldn’t be serious with his choice.  This was Louis reminding him that he was still around.  Like he was to forget.

But back to his problem, he was in Barcelona, in his house while Niall watched silently.  He knew the Irish bloke was judging him but all he could think about is how he was going to murder Louis.

He was pacing the foyer-the only thing long enough for his pacing—pulling at his hair and muttering.  Niall stood to the side, watching the episode.

“You ever going to tell me what this is about, Haz.  Because you have to meet the boys tomorrow.”

When Niall walked into the house Harry almost collided into him, barely paying attention to Niall’s presence.

“Louis got me as his wildcard.  And of course, since he can’t see me, he has to somehow make my life miserable.”

Niall sighed.  Knowing Louis, this was going to be good but he wasn’t going to dig.  “I’m not asking all these questions, Harry.  Tell. Me.”

“You remember Ezra?”

Niall nodded and Harry sighed in relief.   He didn’t want to tell the story again.

“Louis picked him for my wildcard.  I have to see him again.”

“How is that allowed?  He basically humiliated you and they are letting him back?”

“Yep.  Apparently, he was allowed or Louis pulled some fucking magic.”  He was ready to bet on the latter. 

When he got the call, he wished he had Louis’ number.  He wasn’t about to fight him over Twitter and DM wasn’t an option.

“I’m still letting him go.  He’s a fucking twat who sucked at his performance and made me remember I will always be behind Louis.”

“Louis really has a sick sense of humour.”

“That and any change to get to me.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he asked Simon personally.”

“I really want to say that he doesn’t seem like the type but I really have seen a different Louis since you came.”

“Yeah.”

However, he knew he and Simon were at odds all time, so he wasn’t sure if he did ask Simon.  If he did that was some fucking commitment to this thing, he with Louis.  Whatever it was.  This was different than whatever was going on through social media.

It was embarrassing that he could cause a person to change.  If he did.  That was giving himself too much credit.  Right now, he was going to enjoy this night until the real work started tomorrow.  He wished for a moment that he could get drunk.  He was never a drinker and he still wasn’t like Niall but Louis made him want to drink. 

“Anyway,” Niall clapped his hands and looked around.  “Nice place they got you.  Makes you actually wish you lived here.”

“For you, maybe.  I’m happy where I am.”

“You live in a flat that you probably would be in if you weren’t here.”

Harry sighed; tired of this conversation. 

“Hey. I like my place.  I live alone, I don’t need all this shit.”  He waved his hands around the room.  “I bought my mum a house, okay?  It’s not like I’m not spending my money.  And I did splurge on the flat”

It was a nice place.  It had three bedroom and two bathrooms.  It wasn’t something he could afford on a photographer’s salary.

“The house you bought your mum probably didn’t even dent your bake account,” Niall argued and it was funny having Niall trying to sell him on a house, even though he hasn’t even looked.

“I really don’t see the point in buying a house when I’m only around for four months out of a year.”

“Now.  But what about when you are done with tours?”

“That won’t be for another few years.  Hopefully.  But I’ll probably buy a house then.  Not one like yours.  Seriously, Niall.  You live alone and you need that huge thing?”

He thought Niall was insane when he visited his house for the first time.  Back then he was just starting and couldn’t even afford a house like that.  Now, he could and he still didn’t get it.  It was probably a status symbol.

He didn’t need one.  He was happy with what he had but he wouldn’t admit but Niall was right.  Though, he wasn’t ready for that big of a purchase.  He did his spending when he bought his car and clothes. 

“Trust me, in a year or two, you will want something bigger.  Maybe not what I have but you will.”

“And you know this from experience?” Harry deadpanned as he raised his eyebrows.  “I thought your house was your first buy.  Didn’t even hesitate.”

“So, people are different,” Niall sighed in defeat.  “But I still say you will change your mind.”

“Well, if I do decide, want to help?  And I am not buying a house like yours,” he rushed out before Niall could suggest locations.  Worst, in his neighbourhood.  He loved the lad but he did not want to live near him.

Now that he was thinking about it, buying a house did sound like a good idea.  No neighbours right by him or below him that he had to be mindful of.

It really wasn’t an outrageous idea.  Louis had a house.  He’s never seen it but Louis once bragged about purchasing it and finally getting away from his large family.  Of course, that was a joke.  Louis always gushed about his family.  Which made Harry love—crush on him harder.

Isn’t that what celebrities did when they made it, right?  Maybe he was that odd kid who kept his money locked away, never to use it.

Maybe having a place to call his home and come back to after tours would make this all feel real.  He never felt like this was real.  That he would wake up and find him in his childhood bed or his dorm room.

The only thing that reminded him this wasn’t a dream was Louis.  But maybe he wouldn’t feel like that kid if he admitted that he was here.  He was living a dream.  He got out.  Well, he was getting out when he got accepted into university but that wasn’t important.  The point was that he was no longer that teenager who got picked on each day.

He was Harry Styles.  Popstar and now X-Factor judge.

“So, when are the boys coming?”

“They’re singing tomorrow.  They’re out doing some site seeing, enjoying the day.  They deserve it.”

“They do and then they have to face their doom.”

“If I’m being honest, it’s my doom.  Zayn’s also here,” Harry said as he walked to the door leading outside.  It was hot but he needed to clear his head.

“Really?” Niall lit up in glee.  “Where?  I want to see him?”  He looked around the garden like Zayn would pop out.

“He’s not an animal.  And I don’t know.  He’s coming tomorrow.”  He walked over to a chair and dropped down.

“Don’t care.  Want to see him in person.”

“Well, I didn’t see him come in.  He’ll probably come when it’s time to film.”

Niall shrugged and over to Harry.  “I’ll make sure I see him before we start and then I’ll get back to you.”

Harry pursed his lips as he watched Niall.  “I already made an opinion of him.  Yours won’t make me change my mind.”

“Well, it shouldn’t.  I watched last year and if anyone’s fake, it’s him.  He’s a prat.”

“Thanks,” but he couldn’t help the sarcasm leak out. 

He looked over to the pond.    The house was nice.  He was sure that he would get France or L.A like all the previous years but Louis got Rome and Simon got France.  He really shouldn’t be picky since he was only here for three days but he really wanted Italy and was pissed when he heard that Louis got Rome.  But it wasn’t a thing Louis beat him on because he didn’t know what any of their houses would be until it was announced.

“Who’s helping Louis this time?” Niall asked.

“Perrie.”

“Aww,” Niall pouted, causing Harry to smirk. “You should have asked her.  I have her number-”

“Why would I do that?” Harry scrunched his face in confusion.  “We aren’t friends.”  They knew each other.  He’s talked to her more than Louis.”

“You don’t have to be mates with your help.”

He knew that but he’d rather get through this with help he wanted.

“If I have to deal with Louis, I want at least some control.

Niall hummed.   In the time before Harry, he talked to Louis.  He wouldn’t say they were mates, but he sat with him and Liam at award shows.  He thought Harry would fit right in. That they all could help Harry navigate through his first year.  Then the night he and Louis met Harry, Louis changed.

 

 

 

*****

 

 

Niall was walking outside the next day. Harry was talking to the film crew and he really should be there to but the place was too beautiful to stay inside.

He stops in his tracks when he saw a dark figure standing on the grass.

“You know, I don’t think you should be smoking here,” Niall chide as he walked closer watch Zayn coming more in focus.

Zayn turned, running his eyes over his body and Harry was right, he’s stare was intimidating.  But he wasn’t Harry.  He didn’t scare him.  He’s around even bigger pricks.  He was around longer.

“You must be Horan,” Zayn concluded like it was a guess.

“Actually, it’s Niall.”

Niall stopped, almost standing right by Zayn.   The man didn’t seem to like how close he was and he had an urge to close the distance.

“We’ve only known each other for five years but I’ll let the mistake go,” he emphasized ‘five’, proving the act wouldn’t work on him.

“Well, you probably should-”

“You’re Louis’ mate and you know he has it out for Harry.  So, I don’t know why you’re acting like you don’t know his name.  But by what Harry tells me, you and Louis don’t seem to care.  I suggest you figure it out soon.  You’re going have to say it in the live shows.”  With that, Niall turned around.

He didn’t hear Zayn reply as he expected it but it irked him.

“I would finish that up,” Niall nodded to Zayn’s hand.  “We are probably starting soon.”

Harry would kill him if Louis found out.

As much as he hated people telling him what to do, Niall was right.  He sighed walked back to the house.

Zayn watched the blond lad walk away.  He was puzzled how someone like Niall was around something that was as shy as Harry.  He and Louis were very similar but Harry and Niall were the complete opposite.  And then there was the rumour that the shy act was just that: an act.  Maybe he should get to know Harry.  See if he would be opening up if he saw he didn’t treat Harry like Louis.  It was tempting and he didn’t know why he was considering this so early in the show.  Harry and Louis’ interactions were nothing compared to the tweets.

 

 

*****

 

 

When Niall found Harry and told him, the lad freaked out.

“Why would you talk to him?  You know that he’s going to tell Louis!”  He admired what Niall did but when this moment was over, it will back to same old shit.

“Look, I’m sorry, Haz.  But someone has to show them they are the bullies.  You have to prove it to them and if that makes you a dick, who cares.  They were that before.”

Harry sighed and dropped down on the couch.  Niall was right but it was different.  Niall would go back to London and continue with his album.  He would go back and have to endure Louis and Zayn.

Still, Niall was doing something no one has ever done for him.  He couldn’t be mad at Niall

Before long, Harry was ushered to a door where the boys were waiting on the other side.  This was it.  It was getting more real as he thought his decision is what the viewers see and hopefully, they would agree with his picks.

“Ready?” a crewman asked and Harry nodded stiffly before walking out into the sun.  Thank god he had his hat.

“You got this, Haz,” Niall smiled beside the lady ushering Harry.

“Thanks, Niall.”  He took a deep breath and walked out the doors.

Niall just gave him a thumbs up and watched Harry leave the room.

“Hi, boys,” he smiled at the boys as he clapping.  The only one who wasn’t clapping was Ezra, which, fine.  He wasn’t going to get through anyway.

All the boys looked shocked that they were actually here and are so close to the live shows.  Unfortunately, he could only pick three.  He smiled when his eyes landed on Ash.  He’s been one of the few that have been consistent in their performance from the start.

“Welcome to Barcelona.  Hope you had a good time yesterday.”

The guys let a course of agreement and when Harry looked over all the boys.  They were all in tanks or t-shirts and shorts and if Louis was here, he’d tease Harry.

“I’m glad, but unfortunately today is all about work.  And of course, if you are fans of the show, I have brought some help to help me make the decisions.  You all may have heard him on the radio and one of my best friends.  I trust him to help me make the right decision.”

Probably know him without an introduction, he thought.

“I’m happy to introduce, Niall Horan.”  He felt like a complete tit acting like he was excited with the camera and all eyes on him.  He bit his tongue when the applauds were just a loud when Niall walked out.

“Hey, mate,” he cheered and pulled Harry in for a hug.  “Hi. Boys.”

He got a course for his too but they were louder and more excited.  Another reminder of why he was here.

“I’m happy to hear you all sing and help young Harry here to make the picks.  However, I don’t envy him.  He has a tough choice.”

All the boys, except for Ezra laughed along.  If he kept up this attitude, well, it wouldn’t change his mind but it would solidify his judgment.

“Also, don’t be scared of Harry.  He honestly, is probably the easiest person to approach.”

“Thanks, Niall,” he drawled out but Niall either didn’t hear it or care.  Most likely the latter.

“Always here for you, mate,” Niall grinned and clasped Harry’s shoulder

A few of laughs scattered around the yard and Harry grinned. In the past, you could tell the judges and the guest knew each other but he felt like he and Niall had something extra. 

You could tell they knew each other well and had a connection.  The decisions would be hard but he was sure they would agree on the lads.  Or so he hoped.

“Well,” Harry started again, getting them back on track.   “As Niall said, this isn’t going to be easy and I won’t say try not to be nervous but I want you just bring you best and be proud of yourselves.”

He was sure the boys weren’t listening anymore.  Most likely focusing on their performance and wanting him to start the day.

 

 

*****

 

 

“I don’t care if he’s good, I’m still going to tell him no,” Harry huffed as they stood outside, waiting for the cameras.   They were to start soon and Harry just needed a moment with Niall.  He was sure the crew was anyway.

“I say you’re allowed.  I don’t think there will be more boys worse so it won’t be suspicious.”

“I hope,” Harry sighed, watching the people moving around frantically to get thigs finished.  “If Noah and Ash are good, I have two spots and room to cut Ezra.”

“I support that.”  Niall turned around, looking to the side.  “Where’s Zayn?”

The young lad just shrugged and turned to follow Niall’s gaze.  “Not sure.  Probably somewhere over there.”  He pointed to the side of the pool he would be sat near.  “He should be with the boys.”

“I still don’t get how he’s the host.”

“He honestly wasn’t bad in the few years he’s joined.  He’s probably like this because I’m here and he’s Louis’ mate and I’m friends with you.”

“Don’t worry about it.  I’m only here for the day.  It’s you I’m concerned for.  However, you’ve lasted this long.  You’ll be fine.”

“Thanks, Ni-” He was cut off when a man—Milles—approached them, ready to start.

“I feel like I’m back at school,” Niall muttered when he sat in a chair.  “And I’m here to judge.”

“Welcome to my life,” Harry joked as he fixed his hat.

The first boy walked down the stone walkway, grinning like he wasn’t the first out.

 “Hi there,” Noah cheered and Niall grinned back. 

“Hi, Noah,” Harry said.  “How are you feeling?”

“I’m good.  This place is beautiful but it’s so hot.”

Niall laughed, beating Harry.  “I like your honesty, mate.  It is, I have to agree.”

Harry just rolled his eyes, making sure to keep his smile so it didn’t look like he was annoyed.  Which, he wasn’t.  Niall being here was making this whole day easier.

Harry laughed and asked, “And what are you going to sing,” trying to get the boys back on track. 

Noah looked like he wanted to talk to Niall all day.  And he probably would have if he wasn’t here for a purpose.

“Oh, um, Locked Out of Heaven.”

“Okay.  Good luck.”

Niall gave him a grin, causing Harry to roll his eyes again.  Luckily, he his eyes were hidden by his sunglasses.

Noah was great.  Hit all the rights, he was so into the song that it almost looked like he didn’t care he was being filmed.  He was proving why he was one of Harry’s favourite.

“Well done,” Harry praised when the boy finished.  “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” he echoed before he started to walk away.

“I can see why you have a chair,” Niall said, watching where the boy disappeared.  “He was good.”

“I think he picked the right song, too.”

It was also about the song choice.  Sometimes the song didn’t fit the voice and it would fall flat.  That’s what happened to James at the six-chair challenge.

After Ryan left, he finally had his first comparison which wasn’t his favourite part. He knew he was complaining a lot but it was better than going on about Louis.  This was a Louis free-zone and for the first time in four years, he could be free for contact with Louis.

“He wasn’t as confident as Noah,” he started.  But he felt more engaged with the song and his surroundings.”

“But with more practice, I think he could be good,” Niall argued

“They both could,” Harry shot back, keeping his voice light.  He liked Noah and felt a little defendant when people argued about him.  It may because he was the youngest here and the criticism reminded him of school.

“Mm-hmm.”

He wanted to argue but Ezra was next and he needed Niall on his side.  Not like he’d abandon him when Ezra came.

 “Hi, Ezra,” Harry grinned, trying to keep his voice as light as possible.  He heard Niall clear his throat when Ezra stopped at his spot.  Harry wanted to hug Niall.  Even though he couldn’t hold his hand, he was showing he was with him.

“Hi,” Ezra said, briskly, still bitter that Harry didn’t pick him.

He had to thank Louis when he saw him again.  Louis was slowly proving that he didn’t deserve Harry’s attention.  Even Zayn but he didn’t really talk to Zayn.

“How are you feeling?”

“Great.  Just want to get this over with.”

Harry felt Niall was ready to snap but he couldn’t do anything to warn Niall to cool his temper.  He just hoped Niall knew that he would kill him or he read his mind. Cool.

“Well, I won’t keep you waiting.  Go ahead.”  He kept the smile pasted on his face as Ezra nodded.

To make it worst, he picked Every Breath You Take.  He heard Niall move and he knew he was thinking the same thing.  It was a creepy song.  A good song.  Just with a sick meaning. Ezra wasn’t winning him over.  Like the song choice helped him have a chance

“Thank you, Ezra.  How do you-”

“Thought I did well.”

Harry pursed his lips.  He wished he could look at Niall but he would have been the same.  Media training kept them from showing their true opinion. 

“Okay.  Well, thank you again.”

The man just nodded and walked away.  If he actually liked Ezra, his attitude would send him home.

“So, what do you think?” Niall asked, turning to Harry.

Really, what could he say that was appropriate for the show?  His performance was lacking in a lot.  He was better than the Six-Chairs but that wouldn’t help him and wasn’t saying much.  Both were horrible.  Even right now, Ryan was incredible compared to him.  Actually, Louis was incredible compared to. Him.  Louis was incredible compared to anyone else just, not his personality towards to him.

“Actually, that was better than at the Six-Chairs.  He impressed me.”  What else could he say?  The cameras were on him.  He couldn’t speak his mind.  Everyone would know he was lying through his teeth.

Remind him to thank Louis.

“The song choice, I don’t know,” Niall said.   “It’s a good song.  But I wouldn’t do it for my audition.  He did do it well, though.”

Harry had to agree but he could tell Niall was trying his best to be positive, which was what he was doing.  They might get shit from the viewers but they had to hear that Ezra was the weakest one here.  He hoped a lot of people questioned Louis’ choice to pick Ezra.  Louis fans might find it funny but when it was aired, they would be well past the filming.

He never got Louis’ fans.  Some were funny with how they were intense in defending him.  There were some that were sweet with how they supported him.  He was one of those fans once upon a time.  Before he was a name.  Before people knew if he tweeted Louis.  He would tweet Louis when he won after Louis tweeted him.  He stopped two years ago.  Two years he tried to reach out.  Two years where he realized Louis wasn’t going to change. 

The tweets weren’t anything special. The first tweet was the worst. The next few were just Louis thanking his fans and going on about the competition. Louis’s first tweet must have alluded to something because even without tagging Harry, the tabloids thought a new feud was starting and Louis didn’t help deny it.  Instead, when Louis won against him almost six months later, he tweeted Harry.  

The funny thing was, Louis only tweeted him the first when he was only nominated.  All the other tweets were when the two of them were up against each other. 

He was pretty successful with the awards and songs sales but not when he was up against Louis.  Thus, the title of Louis’ shadow.

Really, Louis didn’t change the difficulty of the choice.  He had to remind himself that he was allowed to have favourites.  He was allowed to dislike some of the boys he had and before going here, he was sure who he was taking with him to the live shows.  Now, he was unsure.  He was sure he could pick anyone but Matt, no one but Niall would know why.  But he wasn’t like that.  If Matt was good, he might have to give him a spot.

They were on a break before the next act and after the lie about Ezra, he needed a breather.

“Well, it’s going better than I thought it would go,” Niall smiled as he looked around the garden.

Harry had wanted to stay in his chair but Niall wanted to stretch his legs and get something to eat.

“What did you expect?”

“I don’t know.  Seen this bit on the telly but it’s different being here.  Haven’t picked a batch either.”

Harry frowned and looked to Niall.  “You’ve only heard three and Ezra was shit and Ryan wasn’t as great as his past performance.”

“He wasn’t bad.  I think you’re being too hard on yourself and them.  We’ve been here before.  Performing and getting judged I mean.”

Harry hummed and took a sip of water.  “I guess your right.  I’m-I’m just… I don’t know.”

He had more pressure than the previous new judges.  The public wouldn’t know.  He knew and Niall knew.  He needed to make the right choice.  He would be up later than Louis was for sure. 

“I know.  I’m sorry.”

“Don’t need to be sorry, Haz.  I know the pressure you’re probably feeling today and I promise I’ll do my best to help.”

Harry looked to the bed of flowers.  Niall was right.  He needed to have someone with a clear head to help.  He was too focused on making the right choice that he might miss some importance with some of the boys.

“Still.  You’re right and I can’t think of Louis at this point.  I should pick boys that I like and that the public will like, and would hopefully vote for.

“And that’s why I’m here.”

He honestly could have asked Ed if he had Niall ask but he didn’t know the deep war between him and Loui, only what the media spun.

“And don’t say anything.  I’m glad to be here.  I wanted a front row seat to you at work and this is better.  Always bitched at the judges’ choices and now I get to bitch to you and fight.”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to fight me.”

“I will if you consider Ezra and Matt.”

“Ezra’s a no and we haven’t heard Matt yet.  He could be good.”

“See!” Niall cried.  “That is why I’m going to fight you.”

“I can’t send Matt home because I had a Matt in my past.  If he’s good, I’ll have you say yes.”

“No, you don’t.  There are three more beside Matt and I’m ready to fight for Noah so there are only two spots left and I’m sure somebody will beat Matt.”

“You know I’m the one that has the-”

“We are ready for you Harry,” a woman said.

He hated people calling him Mr. Styles so as soon as he got here, he was Harry.

“Right.  Thank you.”

Ashley was next and Harry was excited for him.  He needed a sure yes after Ezra but he couldn’t decide until all the boys sang.

“Hi, Ashley,” Harry cheered when the lad walked up.

“Hi.”  Ash seemed shy and probably ready to get this over with.

He opened his mouth to ask how he was when Niall cut him off.

“Great name.  Do you prefer Ashley or Ash?” he asked and Harry wanted to slap him but the boy looked like being asked that question was what he wanted to hear instead of the cliché ones.

“I’m fine with either.   My family calls me Ashley but my mates call me Ash.”

“Mums, right?”

Ash laughed and nodded.  “Right. Though, I probably shouldn’t agree.”

Harry and Niall laughed.  “And what song are you going to be singing?” he asked.

 _“’_ Just a Little Piece of Your Heart’ _.”_

“I feel like there’s a story,” Niall commented and Harry wanted to kick him but he had to do his job.

“There is,” Ash replied.  “But I rather not say.”

“I admire that,” Niall said.

“That’s fine,” Harry continued, ignoring Niall.    “Just ignore Niall,” he said flippantly, still smiling softly.  “Just start when you’re ready.”

If Harry wasn’t wearing his sunglasses, the camera would have caught how watery his eyes were getting.  It was what he felt when he woke up alone, and all the teasing and mocking.  He really didn’t know why he had all these feelings when he only had one night with Louis but a decent song came out of it.

He honestly couldn’t answer why he jumped into bed with Louis after only knowing the man for about an hour.  Maybe it was because of his crush and it was a dream come true.  Louis treated him like an actual person.  He didn’t know about his past.  He thought of all the reasons but he didn’t really know himself.

Even the meaning of the song wasn’t entirely accurate to what he felt but it didn’t really matter.

The story Ash had was probably worse than what he went—going through.  He was ashamed of this song but he never performed it.  Luckily, he didn’t keep the song so nobody knew it was about Louis.  Even Niall didn’t.  Well, no one but Niall knew they once talked and got along.  Maybe when he was feeling brave, he’d perform it.  Some fans have asked him about it.  He was just happy being known as the writer.

Also, he was happy with what songs he had out.  And he already had two for the next album. If his team liked them.  However, the last hit from his last album was one he wrote with Niall.   And now he hoped the success of the two songs proved that he could write.

Ash was actually the standout for the moment, followed by Noah.  Like all though, he wasn’t perfect, it was better than six-chairs.  He just didn’t hit the note on one line.

“Thank you, Ashley,” Harry smiled when the boy finished.

“That was great, Ash.  How do you think it went?”

The lad just smiled and shrugged.  “I feel like I did fine.  A little too personal and I probably shouldn’t have picked it for today.”

“Nah.  You did great and the song choice was fine.”

“Well, as _Niall_ said it all and left me nothing to add.  Thanks, Ni.”  He rolled his eyes as Niall muttered a ‘sorry’. He took over when he got excited.  “You did great.  Thank you.”

Ash nodded and thanked them.

As soon as the lad walked away, Harry turned to Niall.  “I didn’t know you were a judge too.”

“Sorry.  Hey, though, it’s your song and he smashed it.”

“What?”

“Oh, don’t pretend that I don’t know.  I know your writing style, Harry.  You should really perform it.”

“Yeah, well, we are talking about Ash and not about the song.”

There really wasn’t a true meaning behind the meaning behind the song. Well, not like what Niall thought.  Of course, it was after his meeting with Louis but he wasn’t the inspiration.  They were never anything.  Not now. Not ever.

Okay, he was lying about the inspiration but his past boyfriends played a hand in the writing too.

“Fine but that was a good song chose for me.  Nice to hear an act slow it down.”

“It is and he’s hasn’t done a slow song yet and he really should.  It gives him a chance to showcase his range.” 

Some people only sounded good doing rock or pop or ballads and, in this industry, if you market yourself as such works but when you in a show like this, you have to show you can do more than singing one kind of song.

He didn’t want to spend too much time on Ash.  Niall would clue in and the viewers would surely catch on that he was favouring him.

Elliot was the next boy and he was the first one to crack under the pressure.  He missed the high note and fell off key after that. 

Niall claimed he over sang and lost himself but not in a good way.  Harry had to agree but he didn’t vocalize it.  He didn’t want to be criticized for his honest opinion.  He’d wait until tonight where it was just Niall.

It was coming to the end of a long day.  The sun was starting to set and his contacts were bugging him.

Chris was the next one after their second Break and he really wished he could have ended it with him and not Matt.

“Hi Chris,” he smiled.  He probably could have taken his sunglasses off but he needed to hide his eyes for Matt.

“Hi,” the boy greeted.

“How are you feeling?”  He was getting tired of asking the question.  It didn’t feel sincere but it was.

“I’m feeling bit nervous but aren’t we all?”

Niall chuckled along and took over again.  “So true.”

“Just start when you are ready.”

Harry listened to the song.  It sounded familiar but he couldn’t place who sung it or what it was called.  He was good though.  He was in key and hit the high note.

“Thank you,” Harry said Chris echoed his graduations before walking off.

“I like him,” Niall said as soon as they were alone. “Lovely lad and great voice.”

The younger nodded, figuring out his thoughts.  Niall may argue that he was only thinking this because he didn’t know the song but he didn’t think it was the right song choice.  As great as it was, he didn’t stand out.

“I agree but my one concern is that he doesn’t always pick the right songs.  He didn’t stand out today.”

“Does that mean he can be forgettable?”

Harry pursed his lips.  “I don’t know.”  That was something he was going to have to consider tonight.

Luckily, Matt was right after Chris, a step closer to the end.

“Hello, Matt,” he greeted, still keeping his smile. 

Niall cleared his throat, letting Harry know he was here.  He really wished he could have hugged him.  If he was being honest, Matt wasn’t like his Matt and was not like Ezra, but the bloke had an air of arrogance about him.  Also, he was the only one in this category who was one of the two older than Harry.  Only by a year but Harry knew that older people hated when they were judged by younger people.

Well, people in their early twenties that was. 

“Hello,” Matt said, looking to Niall.  He felt uncomfortable under his gaze and was so glad he had his sunglasses on. 

Matt wasn’t in the mood to talk or maybe that’s how Niall and Harry saw it.  He really was digging his gave.  It was important to be a good singer but you also had to connect with the audience and viewers.   If he was being arrogant or difficult to work with, he wouldn’t be liked.  But the producers liked that.  It kept the show entertaining.  Yet, the audience would bitch and complain that the judges fucked on the picking.

His attitude was like the lads at school.   Would never talk to him even when they had to. No one really did but his Matt and his mates were the worst.

Tristian was Matt’s best mate.  Unless they couldn’t help it, he never saw one without the other and they were horrible together.

No matter if Harry had one of the highest marks in class, Matt never let him do any work or had him do all the work.  It was actually the latter until they teachers called him out, then he would do some work.  Usually screwing up the work where Harry had to stay up late to fix his mess.

“Thank you, Matt.”  And because Matt wasn’t making this easy, he just nodded and gave a small thanks. 

So much like Matt Evans.

He was rivalling Ezra but Ezra had the six-chair challenge against.

“Well, I-un-” he actually didn’t know what to say.  Matt left him speechless and not in a good way.  Why was it that he always attracted the difficult people?

“Well,” Niall echoed.  “He had a good voice?  Song was good?”

“His last performance was a lot better but he was good.  I-I don’t know.”

He then looked to a crew member and asked if they could cut.  There wasn’t anything left to say at this point.  With the final choices, he didn’t have to say any names, if he didn’t want to.

“Sure, Harry.  Why don’t you and N-Niall take a break and we’ll call when we’re ready.”

Harry and Niall moved inside for a moment.  His eyes were stinging but he wasn’t about to wear his glasses.  That would be bigger—well, not bigger—news that he actually wore glass because he needed them.

 

It was dark when they sat around a table picture of each boy.  They finally took their sunglasses off.  Niall also had Harry’s hat on, stealing it when Harry took it off to fix his hair.  Harry just rolled his eyes.  This wasn’t the first time Niall stole his hat.

“Okay,” Niall clasped his hands in delight.

“You’re supposed to help me, Niall.  Not-”

“Hey, I’m here to help make this decision harder for you.”

“I don’t think that’s what I asked you for but I’ll take what I can.”

He was aware of the cameras still on them but it was easier to ignore them than Harry thought.  It also was easier having Niall here because it was like no one was around them when they were together.

He had to remind Niall before they started filming that he had to be vague and _no_ swearing.  Which was easier for Harry than Niall.

“Well, what do you think?” Harry asked.  He already knew what he was going to say but Niall was here to ‘help’.  “Him?”  He pointed to Ryan’s picture.

“Um,” Niall tilted his head.  “I liked him.  His energy and was brilliant.  But, I agree, he has a great voice but he didn’t leave you wanting more.  He was-”

“A little forgettable?”  As they got closer to the end, he played each act in his head and Ryan’s got eclipsed by a few.  He hated saying it but it was true.

“A little?  I mean, it’s hard when you have competition.”

“Yeah.  Maybe when he’s alone but there are six other boys competing and I don’t think he stood out. He’s a tricky one.”

“Him?”  He wasn’t going in order and he'd rather get through this fast so he actually could decide for real.

“He was… Good but he didn’t seem like he wanted to be here.  Like, that behaviour was terrible.  You can’t act like that in this industry even if you’re solo.”

Niall was right but he wasn’t sure Matt didn’t want it. Or maybe he did but because he had Harry, he’d rather go home instead.  He wouldn’t put it past him.

“And if he has that attitude, he will he be willing to work for it if he gets in?”

“That’s the problem.  I liked him but I feel I’m taking a risk.”

“And do you want to do that?  If he’s not working with you now, do you really think he will later?”

“That’s the thing.  I don’t know what’ll get but is it worth-”

“Not really but I’m here to help and not choose.”

He really didn’t but he felt that Matt could be good to work with.  The probable was did he want to give him that chance and take the risk on someone he felt like he had to?

 “Okay, Ashley, what did you think?”

“He actually was one of my favourites and he killed your-”

“Let the song go, Niall.  What about his performance?  I thought it was his best one.  Liked how he slowed down and showed a bit more of his range.”

“But?” the Irish lad prompted. 

“My only concern is that can he actually do more than the two types of songs we’ve heard.”  He knew it was a petty argument but he couldn’t let it be known that he was favouring Ash.

“I have to agree but he was one of my favourites today.  He’d be a sure yes if it were up to me.”

He looked to Niall and smile.  He was happy that he had his best mate here that knew him and would actually help him.  He’s said this before but the guest judges never really did anything to help and they only there for show.  In his opinion. 

“Can I pick one?”

Harry just nodded and waved his hand.

“Okay, he was lovely and I know you said he didn’t pick the right song but I think he’s worth a risk.”

Harry looked down at Niall’s finger by Chris’ photo.  He had to agree but at the same time Ryan was worth a chance too but it came down to which boy would work harder and as far and early in this show, he couldn’t tell.  Both boys almost made identical mistakes.

“You do.  You see, my problem is that he’s a lot like-” he pointed to Ryan and look to Niall.  “They had similar problems.”

“Well, that where you have to decide which one is more worth it.”

There was also the idea that he went with Matt instead, which Niall would beat him.

When they got Noah, he was the final photo.  Ezra was a challenge finding the positives in the performance and him.  They both struggled and he was sure that the viewers could read them.  Elliot was sad but they both reminded each other that they’ve had shitty performances and have forgotten the words to songs _they_ had written.  Niall still did it at times.  The problem was that Niall had eight years and Harry had four.  This was a performance to get further into the show.

“Okay, so, what do you think about Noah?”

“Honestly, I thought he was one of the best today vocal wise.  But he wavered on some of his nervous.”

“He had one of the strongest vocals but he was one of the least confident today which was bad because he was fine up to this point-”

“Like he realized how important this performance is,” he finished.  “If I take on any of these, I would pick him.”  He grabbed Noah, Ryan and Chris’ photos and the held-up Noah’s.

Harry grabbed it and looked down at it.  Niall was right.  He was one of the acts he really wanted.

“Which ones would you pick?”

“Umm.”  Niall grabbed Noah’s photo.  “Him, him and him.

Harry looked and groaned.  “You know you picked two out of my three?”

“Really?  Which ones?”

Harry pointed to Noah, Ash and Matt.  He could tell Niall wanted to say something about Matt but the cameras were rolling.

“Well, I did say I was going to make this choice hard.”

“Yeah and you failed.  Two out of three.”

“Just shows that’s how great of mates we are.”

 

After that, they were back in Harry’s room.  Niall was in an armchair, watching Harry laying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“Why do you want Matt?”

“I don’t.”  He really didn’t but he felt like he had to let him in.  “Chris is worth the risk.”

“You know, you don’t own him anything.  He’s not _Matt_.”

“That’s why I feel like I have to give him a spot.  I feel like I’m judging him on my past.”

“Maybe.  But he wasn’t the best singer out there.  I mean, Chris had problems but he was a stronger vocalist.  We all had problems when we started.  Matt was a tit today.”

He wondered what Louis thoughts were at this stage.  Was he still as confused as he was or was he so sure at this point?  He was sure all judges spent the night in private to go over each act again.  He didn’t have to do all seven, just two.  If it was up to Niall, he’d be done for the day.

“We did and that’s why I feel like I should give Matt a chance.”

“No,” Niall said, leaning forward.  “You don’t have to.  If he’s not the best, you are not going to give him a spot.  Ash and Noah are a yes.  But I think Matt will be a nightmare.   He only looked at me.  And he didn’t seem like he wanted to be here with you.”

“No one ever does,” Harry sighed, still focusing on a spot on the ceiling.  “They all probably wanted Louis.”

“Well, if you end up bringing them to the finals, maybe people will finally see you as a strong performer.  Also, I think Ash is so happy to be here.  Also, Noah.  They were both smiling so wide at you.”

He really probably shouldn’t be talking about this to Niall.  He was supposed to help and not push to make a decision.  That’s what happened when you’re friends with your guest.  They probably would be the most entertaining when their episode aired.  Niall always guaranteed a good time.

“I know I’m set on Noah and Ash but I’m between Matt and Chris still.”

“Well, we have all night and I’m gonna fight until you accept that you don’t need to let Matt in because you feel guilty.”

“I don’t feel guilty,” Harry snapped, turning his neck so he was facing Niall.  He really was but he wasn’t about to admit it.  Niall could read him like a book which was scary because his own mum couldn’t. 

Niall just smirked, knowing what Harry was really thinking.  Harry was too sweet for this industry and this is why he was getting hurt.  He couldn’t change unless something terrible happened. 

“I think I’ll just decide when I’m faced with the two of them.  I should know by then.”

He was sure. Maybe.  He hoped.  He wanted to win and he really should be bringing people he thought he could help win and not because of guilt.  And that’s where he felt guilty.

“Well, I think you’ll be fine.  Just pick Ash and I won’t murder you,” Niall teased and right now, he just wanted to stop thinking about this. 

 

 

*****

 

 

Harry woke up early, after a restless sleep.  Niall had to leave to catch a flight to London, leaving Harry alone to figure this mess out for himself.

He had three hours before he was meant to start filming.  All he knew right now was that Ezra was first and he was going home.  Way to start the day, right?  But at least he got him out of the way.

He knew Zayn was around somewhere but he still has yet to run into the host.  Not that he left his room after he filmed with Niall.  But still.  However, this house was massive so he understood the missing lad.

When a crew member called him out, he still didn’t know.  All he knew was that Ash and Noah each got a spot.  twelve hours later, he was no closer. He wondered if Louis had a struggle with this part.  Probably not.  He was so sure of himself.

He walked up to the terrace and sat in his chair.  It was a beautiful view, overlooking the garden; the perfect background to a shitty day.

He was glad that Ash was going last so he could take the leap when it came to Matt or Chris.

“Hi, Ezra.”  He grinned as brightly as could, hoping it seemed real.

“Hey,” the man said, voice lacking emotion. 

“How are you feeling?”  He had to sound like he cared or the show would make him film again.  He thought.  They may just stick to it and let him get shit on.

“I’m fine.”  He probably knew he was going.  The first person to go really never got in.  The show may edit that way but here, Ezra was the first and the first to go home.

“Well, you should be proud of yourself.  You have improved since your first audition and it’s great to see and hear that.  But, I feel like you still have some work and I do feel like you aren’t ready right.  I’m sorry but I can’t take to the live shows.”

He did feel sorry.  When this was aired, he had no doubt that the viewers would know why he didn’t pick him.  He also wasn’t a strong vocalist.

“Okay,” Ezra just nodded and got up without another word.

Next was Ryan and feeling much calmer, but he knew this was going to be hard.  Again, bad news.

Ryan just looked sad, almost like he knew he was going to get a spot.  

Harry had to ask for a breather before Noah was next.

Noah was next and the boy was so elated that Harry was taking him forward.  He was glad he was able to give good news, finally.  He was sure the show would edit a different order but this was the order he was given.

He still wasn’t sure about Matt but he had to make his decision now as Matt sat in the chair.  He had wished Matt was later than act four but he was fine.

“Hi, Matt.  How are you?”

“Not bad.  Nervous of course.”

“Well, you should be happy about last night.  You’ve done so great and you have improved a lot.”

Matt didn’t say anything for a while and Harry thought he didn’t hear him but then Matt chuckled.

“Sorry.  I just find it hard having someone younger than me being my mentor.”

Harry kept his smile but he felt it strain.  “I’m sorry that you got me,” he joked but Matt only smirked.  “I do like you.  You lose yourself in the song but sometimes that can be bad.  And sometimes you are a little off.”

“I don’t really think that’s a problem, Harry,” Matt argued back and Harry had to fight the urge to roll his eyes.  He was just sealing his fate.

“It can be because you also have to be aware of your surroundings and you also have to engage with the audience.  Also, know your strength and weaknesses.”

He was the singer here.  He had four years of experience.

Matt looked like he wanted to argue more but Harry pushed on.  He needed to do this before Matt shamed him.

“And, I’m sorry.  You were great to watch but I can’t take you to the live shows.  And the only reason is, it that there were better singers,” he said in a rush.  He took a moment to realize what he had just said.  Now people would look at it as he kicked Matt off because of what he said.  Which, it was part of the reason but that was beside the point.  Also, he gave a bulllshit reason why he was sending Matt home.

Matt hummed and he oddly didn’t look mad or hurt.  Maybe he'd rather go home than have him.

“If I’m being honest, I kind of wanted Louis anyway.”

Harry felt his heart drop.  He knew Matt wasn’t thrilled having him but because Harry couldn’t take him didn’t mean Matt could hate him.  Or maybe he could.  He didn’t care.  He has compared to Louis again.

“It’s okay.  Louis is great.  I liked him since his X-Factor days.   I agree with you.”

He was having running thoughts of his Matt and how he still never escaped him.  Not anymore.  He dodged a bullet.  He would admit it if Niall let go after a day.  He didn’t.

“Well, thank you, Harry.  For the chance.”  Matt looked almost relieved and he was sure the camera picked it up.

“Your welcome, I-” he cut himself off, wonder if Matt was sincere.  It was more of a backhanded complicate if anything.  But before he could speak, Matt stood up and walked away.

He dropped his head into his hands.  He was so close to having a breakdown.  The past three days were the worst since he started.  And that may sound dramatic but he was here alone and had Ezra and Matt to remind him why Louis was the best.  He wasn’t.  The media spun shit and the feud he had with Louis was only half true with what the tabloids said.  They were the evil.

“Harry?”

He jumped when he heard his name.  One of the crew members looked at him with a worried look on his face.

“Are you okay or do you need a break?”

He really could take a break but he wanted to get this done before calling Niall.

“No, I’m fine.   Thank you, Andrew.”  He always made a point to learn the crew members or volunteers’ names if he was on tour. Here was no different.  They were just as important and they always looked so happy that he knew their names.

“Okay.  I’ll tell Chris you’re ready.”

And if that wasn’t so fucked up.  Niall would be happy he let Matt go.  But right now, he had three boys left.

“Hello, Chris.” He probably looked far too happy and he hoped they edited Chris to go before Matt so it didn’t look like he forgot Matt.    He hoped they put Matt in the end with one of the lads that got a yes.  Oh, what if they put Matt and Chris back-to-back.  Like his order.  Shit.  That actually might be worse.

“Hi, Harry.”  The lad sat, playing with his hands.

It was a simple yes.   After Matt, he didn’t want to drag out Chris’ news.  He just told him how great he was yesterday and he was going to London.

He only had Elliot and Ash left, and he had to deliver bad news to one of them and he sadly knew when he was talking to Niall.

Elliot was sadly a no.   As much as he wanted to take a risk on taking him, he was already with Chris, and Noah and Ash were just better.  He felt his heart sink when the boy started tearing up.  He hugged Elliot before he walked off, probably to talk to Zayn.

“Harry?” Andrew asked again.

Harry looked up and smiled.  “I’m ready.  Bring Ash over.  Just want to get this over with,” he mumbled the last part but he was sure Andrew heard it.

Without missing a beat, Ashley walked over to Harry.

“How are you feeling?”

“Nervous.” But he was acting anything but.  He actually was the calmest boy here.  He wasn’t shirting or fidgeting.

“I’m sorry for making you wait this long.”

“It’s okay.  Loved the garden.  Past the time.” He laughed

“Well, I’m still sorry for making you wait,” he joked.  “Last night was your best performance,” he continued.  “You have improved so much since the first time we heard you.”

“That actually means a lot.”

“I can tell you work hard but at times I feel like you don’t pick the right songs.”

Ash nodded, telling Harry he was still with him.

“The thing I loved about your performance was that you slowed it down which was a first.  You showed you can do more than one type of song which is important to change.

“I understand.  Simon said something like that.”

“What I want is for you to prove that you have this versatility as we go on, so, I’m taking a chance and taking you to London with me.”

Ash stared at him for a moment, in shock, almost like he couldn’t believe it.  Which was understandable.

“Really?  Are you serious.”

Even though Harry knew the answer, he had to ask.  “If you are going to work for it.  Which I know you will.”

“I will.  Thank you, Harry.  Can I hug you?”

“Of course.”  He stood up, making him a couple of inches taller than Ash with his boots.

“Thank you so much, Harry.”  The boy tightened his grip.

Harry just laughed and pulled back. “‘Well, you deserve the chance.”

Ash hugged him again before he walked off to meet the rest of the boys.  They were flying back home tomorrow.  He had a few weeks before the live shows and he was planning on relaxing and writing.  Even though he wasn’t in the studio didn’t mean he could write.

He got back to his room and texted Niall.

_I picked Chris._

Noah and Ash weren’t a question and he felt a wave of calm rush over him.  He was happy with his picks.  After months of auditions and cuts, he was so close to the end.  He picked whom he felt could win and Niall was probably right.  Now with a clear mind, he can reassure himself that picking Matt would have been a mistake.

_Fuck yeah!!!!! You picked a good group Haz._

He really wanted to text Louis or something.  Wanted to show that he could make a good choice on his own.  He didn’t have his number and he wasn’t about to ask for it.

He just wanted to get to the end and see who would win.

_I just hope they’re good enough._

_They are.  I was there.  You’ll get there._

_You honestly have too much faith in me._

_No.  I have the right amount.  I know you will get there._

_Well, thanks.  I’m going to get something to eat.  I’ll text you tomorrow when I’m flying back._

_Sounds good._   Niall’s text came right away.  _Text me when you land so we can meet up._

 _Sure_ , was his reply before placing his phone on his nightstand.  He actually wanted to fly out tonight but he wasn’t allowed to.

The only good thing about not having Louis’ number was that he hasn’t talked to him once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next is the first live show and Louis and Harry will finally interact again. Also, we get a glimpse into how Louis thinks of Harry being a judge.
> 
> I do want to know if people want each chapter to have two weeks (like week two and three are one, and week four and five are one) or do you want me to do like week one is a chapter, then next is week three and next is four and then six and then nine?
> 
> I have this whole story planned, so I know how it ends but I'm open to any suggestions.


	8. Live Show: Week one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!
> 
> I'm sorry if this chapter has more spelling errors than usual. My laptop did updates last night and ended up corrupting this chapter. Luckily I had the outline and some bits on a memory stick so rewrote this chapters to the best to my memory.
> 
> Also, sorry if this doesn't have a lot of Harry and Louis interactions. I kind of wanted them to have parts on their own for the first week. Next chapter will have more Harry and Louis than the show.

For the first time, he didn’t feel the urge to back out.  He knew it may change with tonight being the first live show.  He didn’t watch all the shows before so he didn’t know if most of the things that happened after between auditions made it.  But he knew the boy group that didn’t know who he was made it.  Niall didn’t laugh but he was sure he only didn’t because Harry was there.  He wouldn’t have been pissed but he was glad.

Ezra was strange.  He didn’t give a big interview after he was denied a chair, the same for his house.  He could tell he was pissed but thought better of it.  Or they edit it out.  Either way, he wasn’t complaining.  Matt was the only one that got a reaction from Louis’ fans.  They were even wondering why Louis picked Ezra and not somebody better.  When he admitted that he liked Louis back then, his fans spammed his twitter and Louis; happy that he finally admitted defeat.  He wasn’t.  He was just admitting he was a fan.  Not anymore.  Louis didn’t comment but he knew that if he could he would.

He had an hour before they were starting.  He was ready and now he was just avoiding Louis until he couldn’t.  He was glad he got some say in his outfit.  It helped him to be less on edge in clothes he wanted.  He wondered if Louis would have a problem.  He only ever seen him in skinnies, joggers, t-shirts or jumpers.  Unless they were at the Brits or last year when Louis joined the X-Factor.  He couldn’t deny he looked fit.  He may hate the bloke but he couldn’t ignore that Louis looked great dressed up.

Niall was supposed to be here for support but the prick got pissed last night and was still hungover.  And he was sure he wouldn’t be here tomorrow because he never learned his lesson and apparently visiting the filming once and being a guest at his house was enough for now.  When the end came, Niall was going to be here.  Hungover or not.

Backstage was electric.  The first live show and only an hour away.  He was more nervous for his boys.  All he had to do was listen and judge.  The acts had to sing and impress not just the judges but millions of viewers.  Also, stand out amongst eleven others.  They may be in the same category but they were also competing.

He talked to each boy earlier, reassuring them that nerves were normal but don’t let it get to them.  They were all great lads in the week and he just hoped the confidence he’d seen in rehearsal would bleed into tonight.

He didn’t see Zayn so thankful, he didn’t have a reason to acknowledge him.  The last thing he wanted was Louis appearing.  It was like he had a sixth sense and knew when he was around his mate.

He felt a little envious that Louis had someone and he only had Niall through his mobile or if he ever decided not to get wasted and visit.  He was still pissed about that.  He was almost sweating with nerves and Niall wasn’t here like he promised, back in London, not even a week ago.

He was sat on his couch, scrolling through his mobile.  More specifically, Louis’ Twitter.  He’s been obsessed with it since after bootcamp.  Something that hasn’t happened in four years.  And to be honest, it was just a bunch of nonsensical tweets since he went on break.  He always tweeted about new songs or bitched about the writing process.  Now, it was mainly fighting between Liam or Zayn.  In good humour but still, he wasn’t interested.

He stopped scrolling when he spotted a tweet a fan tagged Louis in and Harry felt the plastic of his mobile cut into his skin.  In the photo Louis was in a club, kissing some bloke.

Harry felt jealousy fill him.  He wanted to say that it was because Louis could openly display his preference.  He wanted to say it was because of that but some dark part in his mind said it was because he wasn’t the one Louis was kissing.  He gasped in shock.  He didn’t want to kiss Louis.  He didn’t even want to talk to him.  But he did?

Harry groaned.  He really didn’t need this right now.  Not when he was about to go out there and see Louis.  He really didn’t need this at all.  He wasn’t nineteen with a crush. 

His phone buzzed, echoing in the silent room.

“What?” he asked without looking, knowing it was Niall.

“And I thought I was the one with the headache,” the Irish lad chirped, sounding too excited for someone who was nearly dying not two hours ago.

“And I thought you were begging me to plan your funeral.”

“That was two hours ago,” Niall argued.  “Anyway, how’s the wait going?”

“Slow,” Harry groaned.  He was so anxious about tonight.  Everything leading up to this day was easy.  The footage was cut to fit an hour.  Here, there was no cutting.  “I just want to get this show over with.  The first day is always the worst.”

“I think for the first three weeks,” Niall corrected and Harry could hear the smirk in the fake-blond’s voice.

Another thing he hated about Niall, he whined when he was drunk but after a day of sleeping, he was fine like he didn’t just consume his weight in alcohol.

“I liked it better when you couldn’t speak.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there.  I know I promised-”

“It’s fine.”  He was already over it.  Niall was flying out to L.A again on Tuesday and it was supposed to be the last time he saw the lad for three weeks. 

He looked to the clock on the wall and sighed.  He really should get up now. He’d have to meet with the others soon for touch ups and to walk out.

“I really have to go.  Don’t want Louis to beat me.”  He tried to make his voice sound light and cheery but it sounded weak.

“Okay, H. I am sorry.  Call me later?  I want to hear how the first show went.”

“I’ll try.”  If he wasn’t too tired.  But he was a bit disappointed too.  This was the one time he needed Niall and he failed.  “Also, you could watch it.”

“I am but I want to hear how it was as the judge and I’ll give my opinion on Louis’ girls.  Yeah?”

 “I don’t know about that.”

“You can’t disagree with that.  I know you want to hear.  You’re just too nice.”

Harry chuckled, “Probably not.  But I really have to go.  I’ll call later.”

He hung up before Niall could say another thing.  He shouldn’t have talked Niall’s call, now he was running late.  Well, he was on time but he wanted to be early.

 

 

*****

 

The crew was running around, finishing up what was left to do.  Harry stood to the side with his back to the wall.  He smiled at the loud buzz filing the backstage.  It was almost comforting that he wasn’t the only one have a minor panic attack.  He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm his nerves. 

It was just like a tour but he’s only been away from London two times now.  But he could tell this would be very different.  People may not like what he had to say.  Fight to get him fired.  Whereas tours, people knew what they were getting.

He still didn’t see any of the other judges or Zayn and they were cutting it close.   The show was supposed to start in fifteen minutes and he was the only one here.  Had been for the last ten minutes.  He wanted to be early and not have Louis smug that he was the last one here.

“What are you trying to do, Styles, be the next Simon?”

Harry turned to see Louis walking towards him, in a crimson button-up with a black blazer and trousers.  He bit his lip from replying.  Louis looked hot.  The trousers clung to his legs and he wondered if he could sneak a glance when he walked away.  Sue him.  He was human and male.  He kept telling himself that each time he felt his pulse race when Louis dressed in anything that showed his body off.  He was allowed to hate the lad and still appreciate the sight.  Niall would disagree which is why he never told him.

“Nice to see you can clean up.”  It wasn’t like Louis didn’t dress nicely but him in a nice shirt and blazer did things to Louis and he hated that his body betrayed him.  His mind kept screaming.

“Oh, Styles, we both know how well I can clean up.”  He took a step closer and Harry really wished he wasn’t already backed into a corner, making himself vulnerable.

“Mmm.  Couldn’t tell from the months that past.”

“You and I both know that’s a crock of shit and you didn’t answer my question.”

Harry raised his eyebrows, keeping his face blank, trying to keep his heart rate in control.  Memories of Louis at the Brits of that night.  His hormonal self took over that night.

“What question?”

“You really don’t remember?  Are you that nervous?  I thought as a _singer_ you’d be past this.”

Harry didn’t like the way he emphasized ‘singer’, almost like he was insisting that Harry really wasn’t one or he just meant that this really shouldn’t be bothering him.

“Well, in case you forgot, you have four years on me.  You may be past that but I’m not.”

 _Shut up, Harry_ , he heard Niall’s voice yell in his head.  He was giving Louis the ammiol.

“Maybe.  But I was here.  Know what it takes and why are you avoiding the question?”

Harry furrowed his brows.  This was what he liked.  He wasn’t as opened as he usually was but open just enough to feel comfortable.

“Is it a question you really want an answer to?  My clothing choice is a big concern to you now?  Too distracting?” 

He knew he was playing with fire but it was fun riling Louis up for one minute until Louis pushed back.  He pushed from the wall which was a big mistake.  Louis seemed to be taking a liking to pin Harry to the wall.

Something flashed through Louis’ eyes as he grinned wickedly.  He moved his hand to Harry’s chest, running it down the exposed skin.

Louis just hummed as he played wilt a button.  Each time they met, Louis’ behaviour was getting stranger.  Or maybe he was always like that and Harry was just seeing it for the first time.

“You do you like being pushed around, don’t you?”

The question was so sudden that Harry thought that he just thought it but by Louis expression, it was another irrelevant question.

“Why the question?”

“Because it seems like you like putting yourself in these positions a lot.”

Harry wouldn’t lie and say he did mind.  But why would he admit to that?  Why would Louis even be interested? 

 _Because he wants to tease you_ , the voice in his head echoed. 

“You’re the one doing this shit, Louis.”

The boy just smirked and looked Harry over.  Harry really wished one of the crew members would intervein.  They had fifteen minutes.

“You’ve been asking for it, Styles,” Louis said quietly, still pushing Harry to the wall.

Harry pursed his lips.  He was so ready to shove Louis and see him fall.  But with his luck, Louis would take him with him.  Also, he was dressed too nicely to get dirt on it and had no time to clean it.

There was a long pause.   Nether said anything.  Both waiting for the other but Harry was sure that Louis would disregard with what he said and try something else.

“Maybe because you like this.  Makes you feel bigger than you actually are?”  He had to fight to keep his face neutral.  He knew Louis was sensitive about his height when it came from anyone but his mates and Harry just crossed that line.

Louis looked like he was ready to kill the younger lad but he just smirked.  “I really think it’s you.  You get all squirmy and breathy.”

“It’s because I want to get away from you,” he argued still refusing to move.

“If that was the case, you’d be fighting me.  Not begging for it.”

Something snapped in the younger lad and just wanted to get away.  “Maybe you’re right and I do or maybe I don’t,” he said, staring into the blue eyes, almost getting lost but he had a point to prove.

Louis dropped his hand, stunned that Harry was playing back.  Maybe that was the secret to winning.

He pushed forward, thanking the height difference.  Louis was intimidating but he lucked out in being taller than the lad.  He leaned forward, letting his breath brush over Louis’ ear as he whispered, “The shows about to start.”

He managed to get free but felt a hand grabbed his wrist.  Louis looked like he was about to say something but they heard voices coming down the hall.  Louis dropped his hand and Harry stepped back as Simon, Sharon and some crew members came up.

 

 

*****

 

 

There was a different atmosphere in the arena than at the Six-Chairs.  People were cheering and some were shouting but he couldn’t make out what anyone was saying but Zayn was spewing his introduction speech.

As much as he hated the lad, he had to admit that Zayn was charismatic and the best judge this show has had in recent years.

He knew the lineup for tonight but he was drawing blank now.  All he remembered that Noah was fourth, Ash was ninth and Chris was last.  The poor boy was the most worked up.  Which was understandable.  He had eleven acts to wait out.

Niall had texted him after the judges’ houses episodes aired.  Sharon and Simon shared an episode.  Whereas the Six-Chairs he shared with Sharon. He didn’t watch his episode so it was a surprise when Niall texted him that one of Louis’ girls sung one of his songs and got in.

He was sure Louis didn’t actually know his song, from Niall’s play-by-play of the episode, Louis looked like he didn’t know if Laura did his song well.  Either way, Louis probably hated that one of his girls did his song and not somebody else’s.  It was a bit of a confidence booster that there were people who actually listened to his music.  He knew that but with all the rubbish posted online, it made him wonder.

They were on their first commercial break after Louis and Sharon’s acts took the stage along with Noah.  This was the worst part so far.  He couldn’t talk to Simon, and Sharon and Louis were talking about something.  From the bits he caught, they were just going on about their acts.  Of course, Louis’ girl smashed her performance.  Sharon’s was okay.  He was surprised to see Johnathan back.  She was the only one that picked her wild card.  He felt like he made a good choice since Sharon thought so.  Louis, of course, didn’t and it wasn’t even a thought when Ezra showed up.

Elegance was up when they returned and Harry had to bite his lip from laughing.  He forced a small smile as they sang Niall’s first single from his second album.  Niall would be calling him later and brag that he was featured.  He didn’t want to point out that Louis’s songs have been used in three series already.  And he was a little smug that his song was used before Niall’s.

They gave the contestants a pass this week, giving them no theme.  To be honest, he felt like that should have been later in the show.  They could pick a song that they’ve done often.  He felt like they should get a feel for how they all could sing songs out of a theme and fix that into their style.

Either way, Elegance was doing the song well.  Niall would be proud.

He was actually waiting for someone to do a Louis song in front of him.  The last time was the year Louis joined but during the six-chairs. 

When the girls were done, they all clapped, smiling for the cameras.

Louis spoke first this time and Harry had to fight the urge to turn.  He was supposed to just look at the girls, but it was too tempting.  It was still a big question in his mind: why did he get an arsehole and not the Louis now?

When it was Harry’s time, he was calmer.  He has yet to get booed and he doubted now he would.

“Girls, that was spectacular.  I know it must be nerve-wracking tonight.  But for your first performance, you picked the right song.”  He didn’t want to say too much and risk that was the only good performance they got.  Also, he may be a bit bias with the performance. 

Simon just said that he was proud of them and they proved themselves in their first song.

He was surprised when Angie took the stage with “Impossible”.  He thought Heather was better and deserved to her instead but it wasn’t his category.

Her performance wasn’t the best of the night but they were only at six and had still had six other acts to hear and he had a lot riding on this.  They all did but mostly Harry.  He didn’t want to lose one of his boys tomorrow and he didn’t want to be the first one out.  It would be too embarrassing and Louis would never let him forget it.

With his luck, one of his boys would be the bottom three or worst, be in the sing-off.  He had Ash and Chris next and he just hoped they did well enough to be safe until next week.  As much as it made him sound like a cock, he just wanted to be safe this week.   Next week, he still didn’t want to lose but there was a lot of pressure on this show.

Louis still used that sweet voice he used in interviews, speeches and here.  He only heard the tone once and he really had the urge to call Louis out for being fake.

“I actually love that song,” Harry found himself saying when it was his turn.  “You did such a good job with it.  You also looked confident up there which I have to admit is impressive for being your first performance.  I honestly hope you will continue to impress me.”

He coved his mic and let out a heavy sigh.  He probably shouldn’t have said that much but it was true.  As much as he expected Angie, he liked Heather from her first Audition.  He really did hope she would continue to improve.

During the next break, Zayn went over to Louis, causing Simon to roll his eyes.  He obviously didn’t like that.  Maybe he found something he had in common with Simon, which, ew!  He was not going to bond with Simon over anything, especially Louis and Zayn.  He had Niall for that.

Though, he was still pissed at Niall for being a twat and ignoring the fact that he was supposed to be here, he kind of needed to talk to him.  He owed him, he figured and he might give Niall a minute to talk about his song being chosen.

He slid one ring up and down his finger.  He seldom realized he was doing it anymore.  Until Niall or Gemma pointed it out, he could go a whole conversation without realizing it.  He did it in on one of his interviews but luckily it was a radio one and when the footage was aired, it didn’t really matter.  He was in front of a table.  People didn’t care unless you were on the telly on a show for interviews.

Laura was next and saw why Louis picked her.  She was good.  It also made it sweeter when he remembered it was his song that got her in.  He wasn’t narcissistic.  He actually felt weird when people performed his songs in front of him.  But if it involved Louis, he felt a little smug.

She got all good things but this was also the first week and the judges were probably being a little lenient.

Ash sang “Dancing on My Own” and Harry was sure there was a story behind it.  From his song choice at his house and now.  Maybe he would trust Harry enough to tell him.  He wasn’t going to push.  People always did that at school, wanted him to confirm the rumours were true.  They were but that was beside the point.

Going back to the performance, Harry was sure that he won to stay another week.  However, his opinion didn’t mean anything right now.  But by the audience, he was one of the few that got the loudest applauds.

Before long, it was the end of the first show and Harry wasted no time heading backstage.  He almost bumped into Louis who was stood right next to his dressing room.

“Watch it, Styles.”

Harry looked to Zayn and then Louis, rolling his eyes.  “I think you’re confused, this is mine.  Yours is down there.”  He pointed the left.  He was really glad their rooms weren’t by each other.  Louis may be childish enough to bang on his walls.  He was going to be twenty-seven this year, so maybe he was just thinking up things.  Louis seemed to like public humiliation more.  Where Harry could do nothing about it.

He pushed past Zayn, being rougher than he meant but he wasn’t in the mood to care.  He was happy.  Everything went well.  He was sure his mum would call and he didn’t want to talk to her pissed.

“You’re in a rush or something?” Louis quirked his brows, sporting his signature smirk.

“Nope.   Just want to get out of here.  Call my mum.  Why am I even telling you this?”  He shook his head as he pulled his door open.

“That’s adorable.  Still call your mum?” Louis teased, causing Harry to bit back a rude remark.

“You’re one to talk,” Harry smirked know that he got Louis with his next words.  “You’re the one that started your career talking about your family every time you got the chance.  It was cute.”  He slammed the door before Louis could respond.  For a man priding himself on being original, he walked right into that.

He looked at his mobile and saw he had three texts.  One from Gemma and two from Niall.  And a missed call from his mum.

He just grabbed his coat and bag before leaving.  He just wanted to relax and being here reminded him of Louis and the fact that he couldn’t be comfortable.  He was just buttoning up he jacket when he saw Louis and Zayn still where he left them. 

“You’re still here?”

Louis just glanced from Zayn before looking back.  “You were only in there for about five minutes, Styles.

“Oh.  Still, you shouldn’t be here.”

“You mean I’m not wanted?  In case you didn’t see, I’m very wanted.”

Harry scrunched up his nose, confused.  “What do you mean?  I’m talking about how the show’s done and you should be going to the hotel, club, pub or whatever you two do after.”

“Oh.”

Clearly, Louis mistook his words.  He wanted to be proud that he was getting to Louis but that was so unrealistic.  He was just saying things to rile Harry up and he was slipping.

“Whatever.  If you still want to stay here, go ahead.  I’m going to go and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Oh, and Styles.”

The taller lad made of point to make his groan audible.  He thought he escaped talking to Louis after the show started.  He should have known that Louis always found a way.

“What?” He wanted to leave or he may actually hit Louis and he didn’t like violence.  He’s been hit, punched and tripped more times in his life that he wanted to count.  But with Louis, he may actually make an exception.

“Tomorrow is the results-”

“Well spotted,” Harry interrupted.  He knew what Louis was going to say and he wanted to leave but he also wanted to let him know that he wasn’t intimidated.  Yet.  Tomorrow might be a different story.

“Like interrupting people?”

“No.  Just you.”  He was sure if there weren’t about two metres between them Louis would have come after him.  He was only brave when he knew he was safe.

“Anyway,” the older lad drawled out, sounding border than not a minute ago.  “Tomorrow we find out the results.  Who’s more superior.”

“And what if it’s neither us?”

“I really doubt that.  You’re too new here.”

Louis was trying to intimidate him and if he got him earlier, he would.  But he was by Louis’ shit to care right now.

“You know that has nothing to do with this, right?  Or have you forgotten last year?”  Louis didn’t have an argument and it just proved it was just Harry who was inadequate to do this job.  “And I’m confident with my picks.  See you tomorrow.”

He turned and walked away, grinning when he heard Zayn laugh and Louis telling him to shut up.

“Actually gonna admit that Harry’s boys were actually good?” Zayn grinned as he followed Louis into his room.

They both had to admit that Harry’s boys were good and that Ash gave Laura competition.  He was better but Louis would never admit that or the fact that as far as the show went, Harry had the best category.  It was only the first show but even in the Six-Chairs, Louis had to admit Harry’s boys were the best of the six.  Ezra wasn’t even a contender.

“It’s only the first show, Malik.  I’m not gonna say anything but that Ash could be a threat if Styles knows how to coach.”

Zayn just pursed his lips as he watched the smaller man pack up his bag.  He’d never admit it but by the show, Olivia and Melissa were two that may be in jeopardy.

“If Harry doesn’t end up the first one out, will you consider admitting he has talent?”

“I never said Styles can’t sing.  I just think he got his break too easily.”

“And winning the X-Factor is any different?”

One of his argument to justify his distaste for Harry was that he got a lucky break.  Yes, he won the X-Factor but it wasn’t easy.  He had to beat out thousands.

“Yes.  I had to fight.” 

“And Liam lost but got signed.  It doesn’t matter how you all get a chance.  What matters if you can sing.”

“When did you become a Styles fan?” Louis asked as he shouldered his bag and left the room.

“I’m not.  But being your mate doesn’t mean I can’t disagree with you on things.  Seriously, I talked to Lottie and she doesn’t even get this thing between you two.”

“You know, it disturbs me that you talk to my sister.”

“I don’t.  I talked to here when she visited you in London.”

“Well, you don’t know the full story.”

“That’s because you won’t tell us! Seriously, how did you even meet the kid?  All I know is that you tweeted Harry after the Bits and the press ate it up as well as your fans.”

Louis stayed silent for a while as he walked out of the arena.  No one knew the real reason and neither did Harry.  It wasn’t something he was willing to share.  Harry would hate him more than he already did. Zayn may actually kill him.  maybe not.  He may be a bit dramatic.

 

 

*****

 

 

As soon he texted Gemma back, she wasted no time calling him which made for a long hour conversation and his mum stealing her phone to complain that he chose Gemma before her.  They really just said the same thing.  How proud they were but Gemma still teased him and his mum went on at how dashing he looked.

Gemma did agree with his picks and sadly Louis’ but even he had to admit that Laura was good.  However, he reminded his sister that they were only in the first week.  He didn’t get how people had favourites on the first night.  But was he really one to talk?  He was a fan of Louis’ when he first auditioned.  Still, Louis wasn’t competing.  His judgment or lack-there-of wasn’t needed.

He thought back to the show, trying to guess who would be in the bottom and who would get eliminated.  With his luck—he already was thinking it—one of his boys would be eliminated or in the bottom.  Keeping optimistic though.

He grabbed his laptop from the desk and carried it to his bed.   He was going to swallow his pride and call Niall.  He needed to talk to someone about what he really thought about tonight and Niall was his only option.  Sadly.  He really should be more social at parties.  It’s been four years, and Niall was his only real mate.  He did hang out with Niall’s group but he always felt awkward.

While he waited for his laptop to load, he called Niall.  He answered on the fourth ring, slightly out of breath.

“Hey,” the boy gasped.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.  Just forgot my phone on the bed.  So how was it?  You were great.  Very proper.  I’m sure everyone will love you.”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows.  He wasn’t really sure but he didn’t read any of the articles or the Twitter comments when it was announced that he was joining.  Also, for the episodes leading up to this night.

“People are probably going to point out that I have a lot of pressure and will go on how I’m too young.

“You haven’t read any of the news?  Or watch any of the episodes?” 

Harry shook his head before remembering that Niall couldn’t see him.

“Um?  What did they say?” 

Niall obviously followed the show and Harry wasn’t about to do research.

“Well, of course, your fans are so excited.  They’ve been tweeting all through the show.  It’s been entertaining.  Especially when Louis gave Ash nicer feedback than he did for Olivia.”

“He still liked Olivia better.  She is on his team,” Harry argued.  He almost laughed when Louis did that but he was still supporting his girls.

“Also, some fans loved when you two were challenging each other in the auditions.”

“You mean Louis’ fans?  He was the one fighting.”

“Not all the time.  And I’m sorry about some of the shit he said.  It actually was good you ignored your account.  A few of your fans got into fights with Louis’ over the what he said. 

“And was what Louis said was just as bad?”  He wanted to be ‘no’ but he had a feeling it was a ‘yes’.  Good telly, right?

“I don’t think Louis fans thought so but yours…”  He trailed off at that.  He knew what Niall was hinting at.  “But you are doing well.  You actually proving people wrong who thought you were too sensitive.  But it really wasn’t as bad as you think it was.  I promise.  Not everything was there.  Or it was just edited.”

“I guess.”  He really should see what people were actually saying,

“Mostly, people on Twitter are just saying how cute you were tonight and I’ve been working on this shit since the first episode.”

“Thanks for that, Niall,” Harry rolled his eyes, voice dripping in sarcasm.

“I’m here for you.”

“Mmm.”  As much as Niall’s bubbly personality was refreshing, he was still a little pissed.  He was at as many of Niall’s studio days he could make.  And tours.  And Niall couldn’t come this one day. 

“Also, you know Laura?”

“Yes.  Was waiting for you to bring her up.”

“No what you think, H.  Though, I want to love her because she was from Belfast but she’s on Louis team.  Anyway, at his house when she sang your song!  I almost died.”

“You told me when it first aired.”  He found himself smiling despite his current mood.

“I know Louis songs have been used before but Louis had to say yes to your song!”

“First and probably the only time.”  Like everything, he was behind Louis.  He wanted to make a bet that someone would use one of Louis’ songs before the end of the series.  But with his luck, if he made the bet, no one would do any of his songs.  If he didn’t, someone would probably do it within the next two weeks.

“Sure.  He really didn’t want to get into this topic with Niall when he had to see Louis tomorrow and when he didn’t feel uncomfortable talking about this with Niall.  “Anyway, Elegance sang your song.”

“I know,” the lad cheered.

“Was expecting you to just scream when you answered.”

“Didn’t think you would like that.”

And, okay, that was considerate.  Still, he should be happy that his song was featured on the X-Factor.

“I was so excited but be happy that your song was first.  And before Louis.”

Harry hummed.  He should be more excited to know what he did but he really couldn’t get excited.  He should be in a good mood.  He did all this without Niall.  Stood up to Louis and made Zayn laugh.  That actually was one of the greatest accomplishments he ever had.  Behind getting accepted into uni and hitting number one with his last single.  Louis was there but he was gone as quickly as he added it.

He was being one of those girls who got their heart broken by the person they loved, had a crush on or whatever and didn’t get over it.  He honestly was sure if Louis didn’t tweet him the next day and start this… Competition?  He’d be over it by now.  He knew how to play nice.  He did it for years.

He was aware of Niall talking but he was already lost in his mind.  He shouldn’t be worried about what Louis thought of him.  He already made it up and there was no changing it.  He was better off focusing on his task at hand.  They were doing eighties next week and he wanted the lads to pick the song but he knew he had to step in if he wasn’t sure.  The first choices were fine but because he was always cautious, he told himself it was just luck.  In three weeks or so maybe he would be more confident.

“Harry!”

The younger lad jumped, a small gasp leaving his lips.  “S-Sorry.  What?”

The Irish just rolled his eyes but he really couldn’t be mad.  Not tonight.

“I was asking about what you actually thought about the boys.  Had to call your name six times.”

“Oh.  Sorry.” He grinned sheepishly.  “What were you saying?”

“I was asking if you knew what you were going to have the boys do next week.”

“Lose the attitude, Horan.  Be glad I’m talking about this.”

The fake blond bit his lip, though Louis couldn’t see it, and muttered a ‘sorry’.  “You’re right.  I just want to know all the details.  This is exciting.”

“Nothing is happening.   It’s only been one night,” he deadpanned.  He already had a similar conversation with Gemma.  He wished they waited until Monday or better yet, after three weeks.  If they were watching it, they could see everything that was going on.  It wasn’t edited.

“I guess.  But did you talk to Louis before or after?”

Yes.

“No.  He stayed with Zayn.  Only talked to him before we went out and all he said was to be ‘nice’.  He was actually… weird?”

He actually was acting like he always did but he didn’t want to tell Niall that.  He’d get the same shit.  How he has to stand up to Louis or hit back.  He did but that was one time.

“Anyway, I got to go.  I’m going to meet with the boys tomorrow and I need a shower.”

“Have a bath.”

“Maybe.”  He actually just wanted to get cleaned and go to sleep.

“Well, I let you go.  Hey, I’ll come next week.  I promise.”

“It’s okay Niall.”  He closed his laptop, not feeling in the mood to get into anything.  “Kinda wanted you here tonight.  I’m not trying to make you feel shitty.”

“Still.”

“Well, if you want.  I’m going to go.  Talk to you tomorrow.”

 He ended the call and walked into the bathroom

 

 

*****

 

 

Harry got to the studio, smiling at the woman he walked by.   He found Ash, Chris and Noah sat in chairs, circling in the middle of the room

“Hi, boys,” Harry smiled as he walked into the room.

“Hi Harry,” Ash smiled.

Harry took a chair and dragged it over.  Ash moved his chair to make room for him.

“How are you feeling about last night?”  He looked around the boys, but they all looked fine.  On the outside.

“It was insane,” Ash said.  “A lot different from practice.  A lot of pressure.”

“I honestly thought I would have fucked it up,” Chris added.  He was just relieved that he made it with fairly good comments.  Simon’s was the only one who gave him some real criticism.  But he trusted what Harry said.  It was his first performance so he was like everyone, making peace with the fact that they probably will be going home.

He had a feeling he interrupted a private moment but they didn’t look like they were just entertaining him because he was their mentor.  They had to do a rehearsal later today but Harry was just hoping that he could get the boys actual thoughts and feelings.

“So, Ho-”

“How was the show for you?” Noah asked at the same time.  “Sorry.  What we you gonna ask?”

“Later.  Umm, probably like you. Nervous.  But it was exciting.  Being here.  Probably going to be worn down by the end of this.”  He was trying to joke but he was sure that he would be wanting out after this. 

“Simon was just as intimidating as he is on the telly,” Chris said.  “Louis is fun seeing him in person.  It’s actually mental to think he won here and is now a judge.  The girls are lucky to have him.”

Harry looked down, staring at his shoes.  He knew Noah didn’t mean it in a bad way.  He had to admit that it was great to have Louis here as a judge.  Especially since he won his first year here.

“Sorry, you got me,” Harry joked, forcing a chuckle.

“I’m still happy I got you,” Ash jumped in.  “Louis is great but he could be intimidating to works with.  Don’t want to let him down.”

Harry smiles at the lads.  It bothered him but that was a thought many of the contestants would have liked Louis or Simon.

“It’s fine.  It would be exciting to have Louis.  I would.”

After Louis won, he’d tossed around the idea to audition the next year but he never did.  He loved singing and won the talent show that year at school but he knew a career in singing wasn’t likely to happen.  He was going into photography. A stable job.  But after meeting Niall and reading about Liam, this life was possible.  Just with a shit lot of luck.

“At the same time, I’d rather have someone else.  Thanks, Harry,” Noah grinned.  “I honestly, after tonight, think I’ll be fine.  Until next week.”

Harry laughed with Ash, Chris just smiled, staying silent.  He was probably nervous.  He got very silent when he was nerves.  His first tour, he rarely talked for the first two months on concert days, staying in his head until the end of the day. Other people like Niall couldn’t stop talking. Like Noah and Ashley.

“That’s what I told myself on my first tour.  Different circumstances but I was so nervous and terrified that I would embarrass myself.”

He felt like he was trivializing the boys’ feelings but he understood the nerves. 

“Do you feel like that, still?” Ash asked

All three boys looked at Harry, and the older man felt uncomfortable with the intense attention.

“I still do,” he decided to be honest.  It wasn’t as bad as before but before each show, he got a little bit nauseous.  He just didn’t want to disappoint but by the final leg, he really just went out without thinking.  He now mastered interviews but that was because he wasn’t performing in front of thousands.

“Well, then I don’t feel so bad,” Ash sighed in relief.  “No offence.  But it’s comforting that you know how we feel.”

“I wish I could give you great advice but all you can do is try your best, focus on your performance, and with time, you can breathe easier,” he meant for the last part to be a joke but it was also true.  Repetition was one the best ways to get over nerves.

“Honestly, I like that better than ‘don’t worry about it.  You’ll be great’, shit most people give.”

“Yeah.  I like to be honest.  I’ve learned a long time ago that wasn’t the best but it doesn’t give false hope.”

“Simon does that,” Chris chimed in after just listening to the others.

“And yet he’s the only one who can get away with that.”

“And Louis,” Ash added one.

“But not as harsh,” Chris added.  And Harry wanted to correct him but he really was the only one that got the full brunt of Louis snarky comments.  He was the exception.  He wondered if it was in the contract that Louis couldn’t be as harsh as Simon.  But also, if the Louis at his concerts and interviews was real then he would never be like Simon.  Yet, for him, he’d take Simon.

“I’ll agree with you on that.  So, Harry, how was it last night?  As a judge?” Ash asked, leaning over, placing his elbows on his knees.

“Um,” he said, feeling three sets of eyes burning into him.  “I don’t think I’m allowed to tell you that.”

What the judges said amongst themselves was private and wasn’t to be shared.  He couldn’t tell them what he really thought of Mellissa or Dynamic Creatures.

“I just want to know what it’s like being at the table and not the stage for a change,” Ash clarified and the other two looked too interested that Harry couldn’t deny them.

“It’s very different for sure.  More responsibilities but it’s fun at the same time.  I get to help you lads.  And it’s not me putting on a show.  It’s a nice break.”  That’s all he was going to say.  Without giving too much away and how he almost quitted several times because of Louis, he couldn’t say a lot.  But the boys looked satisfied.

“I bet that’s why Louis decided to stay on,” Chris smirked.  “A long break after five tours in a row.  The lad must have been tired.”

“Probably.  But I didn’t ask him.  It’s his own business,” he rushed out before one of the boys suggested that he should ask Louis.  He knew the answer.  Everyone knew.  Louis once said it when he first sighed and returning for the next series solidified all the questions if he was going to return that year. 

Harry talked to the boys for a half hour before the boys had to leave for rehearsal.  He chose to walk the streets for a bit.  Probably wasn’t a smart idea but he didn’t need to be at the arena until later and it was far too early. 

It was a cloudy day like it’s been for the past week.  It was only the first week of October and the wind was making it a reminder that it was going to be cold from now on.

He pulled the collar of his coat closer to his neck when a gust of wind hit him.  He always liked the fresh air and though Management advised against him going out as often as he did, they didn’t forbid him.  Niall hated it, preferring to staying in and sleep.

He really didn’t want to be recognized or approached, that was a risk but right now he really needed to clear his head.  Though, if it happened, it happened.

 

 

*****

 

 

The energy backstage was tense and stale.  No one was talking, everyone was just waiting for this night to end.

There was a low buzz from the crew but none of them acknowledged Harry as he walked down the hall.  It was always a frenzy for anything that had a deadline.  He stepped out of the way of a girl talking frantically into her headset, not paying attention to what was around her. 

His back hit the door behind him and before he could catch his balance, the door was pulled open, causing Harry to stumble.

He turned around, seeing a smirking Louis.  Out of all the doors, he just had to find Louis before he was needed. 

“Well, Styles, what a surprise.  Shouldn’t you be getting ready?”

Harry caught his footing, standing up straight and ridged.  “Was on my way,” he drawled out.  There was still just over an hour before the show started and he just wanted some quiet before then.

Louis dragged his eyes down his body.  He felt self-conscious under the man’s gaze.  It wasn’t like Louis was ready either but there was something about him that made Harry feel like he was underdressed in just skinnies and a t-shirt.

“Got time.  Shouldn’t you?”

“I don’t take that long.  I have controllable hair.”

He liked his hair.  The stylist didn’t really bother to fix it as he always ruined it sometime during the show.  The effort Louis had to do probably wasn’t much but still more than Harry.

“I actually like my hair,” he shot back.  It was something he always wanted to do but in school, that would have just been asking for a punch in the face.

“Probably like getting it pulled too?”

“Why is everything you say to me sexual?”

“Because it’s fun.  You always get so flustered.  And by your reaction, that’s a yes.”

“No.”

Yes.

“It’s annoying and that’s really none of your business.”

He walked away, but he heard Louis snort.  He gritted his teeth.  He had the urge to flip him off.  Niall would be proud.  But he wasn’t ready to start shit right now.  Not tonight.

“Hey, Curly!”

It took all his strength to tun around.  “What?”

“Tonight, we’ll see if you have what it takes.”

“It’s only the first night.”  It didn’t mean anything.  Well, for him, it did.  Louis and everyone who had an issue with him joining would use that against him.

“It is but that could set the tone for the judge.”

Surprisingly, Louis just stayed by the door.  Harry had the urge to close the gap but stayed where he was.

“Yeah, well…” he trailed off.  No matter what he said Louis would find a way of twisting it.  “Tonight will tell.”

He turns back, ignoring Louis’ smirk.  He wouldn’t be so smug if tonight worked for him.

 

 

*****

 

 

The show went by quickly and before Harry realized it, he was walking on stage with his group.  Simon was standing beside Sharon, who left a gap for Louis

When he walked in with the girls, he gave Harry a cheeky smirk.  It was on right now.  He knew the order Zayn gave didn’t matter but he wanted one of his boys to be called first. 

He returned Louis’ smile, knowing that now wasn’t the time.  And they were “mates”.  They had to seem like they liked each other.

“Time for the results,” he heard Zany say and as the lights shone and turned to blue, Harry’s ears buzzed at the noise.  Really, it wasn’t any different than a concert.  Actually, this was quieter.  Still, it’s been nearly a year.

“In no particular order,” Zayn continued on, “The first act returning next week is…”

And then he did the usual and unnecessary long pause.  He got it was to build suspension but it really was just to build anxiety.  He saw Ash tapping his thigh with his fingers, fighting not to bounce and show how nerves he was.

“Ash,” Zayn announced and suddenly Harry was pulled in for a hug.

“Good job, Ashley.”

Ash thanked him and then walked away, he watched the boy leave and caught Louis’ eyes.  He smiled sweetly but he was feeling very smug right now.  He felt a little guilty that he was playing this game with Louis and using the boys as chips.  But it was just for tonight… And if he got to the finals.

He was horrible.

The next act was Dynamic Creature and he smiled as he clapped.

He looked to Zayn who was still looking at the camera, about to announce the next name.  And finally, Sharon’s act was announced.  Louis’ still didn’t but it was in a random order.  Louis may get the next three.

He looked over to the audience.  He was too far away to make out anybody and it just looked like a black wave. 

Zayn’s voice called out Chris and the boy let out the biggest sigh of relief he’d ever seen.  He was sure the had been holding his breath because when Harry hugged him he was gasping quietly.

“You did great, Chris.”

The lad pulled back and smiled before joining the other acts. 

Laura was the next to be safe and he felt a little pride that he already had two while Louis only had one.  He smiled and clapped politely.  If he had to pick one of Louis’ girls, he was glad it was Laura.  She was by far the best of the three last night.

By the tenth name, Harry was sat in his chair.  All three of his boys were safe.  Louis, Sharon and Simon still had one act left.  It was going well for his first show.  He just hoped the rest of the show went like this.  He knew none of the boys were safe but he didn’t want to be wiped out in the next three weeks.

dropped his hand to his side, dangling his mic.  He remembered his fans joked about he ‘stroked’ his mic a few times. 

He met the man’s dark eyes, who quirked his brows but Harry just stared.   It was an uncomfortable moment.  Zayn’s eyes were challenging.  But he wasn’t going to look away.

Zayn was the one to look away to call out the last name that was safe this week.

Johnathan was safe, which was a little shocking.  He wasn’t the worst last night, but Olivia was far better.

Harry watched as Louis and Simon followed Sharon to their chairs.  He knew whomever he gave his vote to may be the wrong decision.  If he said Olivia, Louis may have it out for him all series.  If he didn’t, would it be known that he only saved Olivia because of Louis?

This was a performance he couldn’t space out.  The first vote would set a tone.  For him.

Simon’s group chose “Can’t Stop the Feeling”.  It actually was better than last nights.  Whereas, Olivia sang “Love Me Like You Do”, it was slightly off but still better than Rewind’s performance last night.

“…I need a decision, Simon, why don’t you start us off?”

“Both of you were great last night and just now.  But I have to back up my act.  So I’m going to send home Olivia.”

Louis would back Olivia up, making the final choice up to Sharon and him.

 “Okay.  And Louis?  Your turn.”

“That sing-off was great.  You both picked great songs.  But I have to stay by Olivia.  I’m sorry, Lads.  I’m sending Rewind home.”

“Sharon, you’re next.”

Harry pursed his lips.  Zayn wasn’t the most professional host this show has had but from the reviews and Twitter, people like how “straight to it” Zayn got.

“Olivia, you were brilliant last night but tonight.  Rewind, the sing-off great but last night wasn’t your best.  And I hate doing this but I’m going to have to send home Rewind.  I’m sorry.”

“Harry, your pick.  Which act are you sending home?  If you chose Rewind, they go home.  If you chose Olivia we go into deadlock.”

He felt like Zayn was challenging him. 

He looked to both.  It was an easy decision but for a moment, he lost his voice

“Har-”

“I’m going to send Rewind.  I’m sorry,” he cut Zayn off.  He may get shit from the man later but he was already going to have some from Louis eventually.  May as well start it now.

“Okay.”  Zayn put his hand on the girl’s back and guided her to the side.  She stopped to give each lad a hug before joining the others.

He fell back, sighing heavily.  He heard Zayn talk to the boys before closing off the night.

When they were cleared, Harry walked to his room, trying to look as calm as possible.  If he got to his room before Louis, he could avoid the lad.  It really wasn’t professional but whenever he was involved in Louis’ mess, manners went out the window.

“Styles,” he heard a harsh voice call.

He glanced over his shoulder, continuing walking.  “Hi, Louis.”

“What the fuck was that?”  He grabbed the man’s shoulder and turned him around.

“What do you mean?  Tonight, went fine.  You have all three of your girls.  Why are you mad?”  He knew he was asking for it but it was fun.  For now.

“You know damn well what I’m talking about.”

Harry pried Louis hand off him and continued walking.  “You’re overreacting.”  He walked into his room but Louis stopped the door from closing.

“Harry-”

“Get out,” he snapped.  “This is my room.  You’re not welcomed.”

Louis just stepped closer to Harry, causing Harry to back up, getting pinned to the wall.  Yeah, Louis had a thing for intimidating him.

“Noah should have been in the bottom, not Olivia.”

“So now the results are my fault because my boys beat you?”

Louis just smirked wickedly and walked closer.

“You really do like pinning people to walls, don’t you?”

He knew Louis wouldn’t hurt him but when shit like this happened, he was sent back to school.

“Nah.  Only the cute ones.  And I’m not about to admit that your boys were better last night.  It’s only the first week.”

“That’s what I said!  Are you listening or not?  I sided with you.  You should be glad.  Was so close to saying Olivia’s name.”  He really wasn’t but he wanted to see how Louis reacted. 

Harry moved to walk around him but the man pushed him back.

“Will you stop doing th-” he was cut off by Louis’ lips.

“Do you ever shut up?”

“When it’s you-” Louis cut him off again and this time, Louis was more forceful.  He took Harry’s hands, pinning them over his head.  His other hand cupped Harry’s jaw.  He wanted to struggle.  He should have been scared but his mind was flooded with memories and he embarrassingly let out a soft moan.

Louis let Harry’s hands go, pulling him closer.  Harry should have pushed him away but he was to caught up in Louis’ kiss.  His touch.  His firm body pressing him against the wall.

He pulled Louis close but the man pulled back, kissing down the younger lad’s neck.

“Fuck, Louis.  Not so hard.”

“Learn to button up a shirt,” he growled before attaching his lip to his neck.  He might have to listen to Louis if he wasn’t going to fucking let up on his neck.

If Louis was going to mark up his neck, he was going to mess up his hair.  Not the same.  An easy fix and it was something he wanted to do since he saw Louis’ hair up in a quiff.

“Fuck,” he growled out and tugged Louis’s hair when the man bit at his skin.  Not hard but he embarrassingly made his cock twitch not that it wasn’t already half hard.

Louis pulled back, pulling at Harry’s jacket.  “Tell me to stop and I will.”

For a man who was a minute away from tearing his head off, he suddenly was sweet.  Well, sweeter than Louis’ ever been to him.

He was horny and Louis pulling back was not what he wanted.  He hasn’t had sex since May and he just wanted Louis to fuck him.

Harry slapped Louis’ hand away.  He shrugged off his coat.  He grabbed Louis again, pushing his coat to the floor. 

Louis pushed Harry back, playing with his shirt. “You’re not in control here.”  And Harry had to bit back a whimper.  But that didn’t mean Louis could rip his clothes.

“Don’t rip my shirt,” Harry snapped when Louis tugged at the buttons.

The shorter man just rolled his eyes.  Like the boy couldn’t afford a new or a hundred new ones.

“Relax, princess.  I’m not gonna to.  But really, it wouldn’t the first time, Right?”

“Not ready.  Most men are careful with my—fuck.” Harry gasped when Louis pressed against him hard.  He was grinding his hips and Harry had to bit back a moan.

“I don’t believe you.  From the moment I had you against the wall, against me, you liked it rough.  But maybe not,” he whispered, breath tickling over his face.   He gave Harry a harsh kiss, grinding their hips together.  He smirked against Harry’s mouth when he felt the lad’s hard cock.  He pulled back, grabbed his coat and walked to the door.  “See you next week, Styles.”

Harry was left against the wall, panting and hard.  He stared at where Louis just was, wondering what the fuck just happened?

Louis knew how to get him and how to dangle what he wanted in his face.  He wasn’t going to give Louis what he wanted.  What they both wanted.  He felt Louis.  He was hard too.  So, Louis couldn’t play that he wasn’t affected by him.

Louis may be pissed about tonight but Harry was pissed that Louis left without finishing.  He hadn’t had sex in months and he was so close to coming.  He was tempted to have a wank but he was always loud.  Niall told him once.  And he didn’t want anyone to hear him.

He quickly straightened himself, grabbed his coat and ventured to his car.  Thank god he had a driver today.  He was sure he would actually have to pull over.

He walked into his room, feeling a wave of disgust fill as he stripped.  He stood in the middle of his room, naked and hard, and with a chest filled with disgust. 

He rushed to the bathroom and turned the water in the shower one.  He was hot and gross and rather doing this in the shower.

He stepped under the spray and tried to focused on anything else but his hard cock was just a reminder that Louis just made him so turned on that he was sure he would spill just from a touch.

He wrapped his hand around the base.  He wasn’t going to drag this out like he usually did.  This would be quick and probably very unsatisfying.

He moved his hand up and down.  He shuddered and bit his lip.  He couldn’t enjoy the pleasure, he just wanted to get this over with and sleep for twelve hours.  Or longer.

When he came, spilling over his hand and watching it wash down the drain he felt sick.  He came to the thought of Louis Tomlinson.  And to make it worst, he cried the man’s name.  Something he vowed never to do.  Tonight, was the weirdest night of his life.  And that beat the year where he won the talent show at school.  That was happy.  This was filled with self-loathing. 

He finished his shower and wrapped a towel around his waist.  He brushed his teeth and finished getting ready for bed.

He pulled his towel off and slipped under that blankets, not bothering with clothes.  He stared out the window.  He liked leaving the curtains open and the sun never really bothered him.

He looked out at the lights from the lamps outside and the moon.  It was so peaceful and it gave him a moment of clammiest.

He needed to forget about this night.  A moment of weakness.  He knew one thing: Niall would never know about this. 

 

 

*****

 

 

Louis spent ten minutes trying to find Zayn.  When he went into Harry’s room, he didn’t tell Zayn to wait for him.  He thought he didn’t need to because last night he left with Zayn.  He tried calling but it just rang until it went to voicemail.

He just groaned and went to his room. Zayn could find his way back to the hotel on his own.  He stepped out to the hallway, shouldering his bag as he looked once more for Zayn. 

The place was quiet.  Only a few crew members were moving around. 

“Louis,” a voice called out.  A voice that made him want to just continue walking but he was a judge here.  He worked here.

He gritted his teeth as he turned around, taking in the one person he hated besides Harry.  Actually, he didn’t hate Harry.  He just drove him nuts and couldn’t stand him.  Simon was different.

Zayn and Liam told him he was overreacting but Liam escaped being signed to Simon’s label.  He and Zayn didn’t get an opinion.

“Simon.  Look, I really don’t want to talk.  Can’t we-”

“You got lucky again,” Simon said.  It’s what he said when he won over Simon last year.  He said it was only because his fans just voted so Simon lost.  That may be true but Simon’s girl was horrible and from the internet, they really didn’t get how Allison got to the finals over Delilah.

“Or my group was better than Alisson and from the internet, that seemed to be the reason.”

He was getting bored.  This was an old story.  Simon couldn’t get over someone beating him in his own show.  Also, he wasn’t under his label. 

“You’re lucky that Harry was on your side.”

Louis felt his stomach twist.  He was grateful that Harry voted to send Rewind home.  They could have gone to deadlock but Harry sided with Sharon and him.  Harry wasn’t the bad one here.

“I feel like I made a mistake asking him since he was very vocal about being a fan of yours.  It’s almost as the feud you two have is a stunt.  A clever one but if this affects my-”

“Relax, Simon.  It’s very real.”

He made it real and ongoing to this day.

“Well, from before, I thought so too but tonight has me questioning-”

“It’s only one night.  And honestly, Olivia was better than Rewind.  Harry just saw that.”  _And Sharon but apparently, she wasn’t a part of this conversation,_ he thought.

“Maybe or maybe it was because he felt he owed something to you.  I highly-”

“Harry deserves to be here just as much as the rest of us do.  You and I were the ones in the bottom.  Harry beat us.  He was harsher than you in six-chairs.”

He didn’t know where this was coming from.  Defending Harry wasn’t his norm.  Yet, it was Simon and the man had a way to pull words from Louis that he would never utter to Zayn but found them all true.

Maybe what he had with Harry was taken too far.

“And I’m tired. I’ll see you this week.”  He didn’t wait for Simon’s response.  If he ever gave one.  He hurried out of the building before the man could drag him back in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might update next week but this also could be my last update for the year. 
> 
> If I don't I just want to wish everyone a Harry New Year!!


	9. Live Show: Week Two

The songs were picked but instead of rehearsals, Harry was in front of Ash who has changed his song and been tossing song ideas back and forth for the hour they had.  Chris and Noah had their time and picked their songs easily without too much of a headache.  This week was _Love and Heartbreak._ A little intense.  He was one of them, probably, few singers who had trouble pouring _that_ emotion into his writing, even though he had experience.

He had just talked to Noah, now it was Ash’s turn and for the past ten minutes, the lad has been freaking out.  Picking a song was stressful.  Changing the song was harder and of course, Ash had to go all the way and choose two songs.  The good thing was it was only Wednesday.  Still cutting it close, but not like the night of.  God help him if that ever happened.

“So, what are you struggling with?” Harry asked, standing in front of the boy.    Ash was about Louis’ height and he knew sometimes his height intimidated people.  Well, he hoped not.

“I was so sure with my song,” Ash sighed as he stood by the mic stand.  He stopped in the middle before confessing.  “I had this picked out before the show but now I don’t know.”

“Well, what song do you want to do?”

“I-I was thinking ‘Secret Love Song’ or ‘Memories’.  I know it’s risky singing a judge’s song but I love that song.”

Harry found that he didn’t have to fight to keep the smile on his face.  Of course, he wasn’t a fan of his boys singing his Louis’ songs but their fighting had nothing do with anyone but the two of them.

 _“_ Memories _”_ was actually one of his favourites.  It was from his latest album which was why he would never admit it to Niall or anyone else for that matter.  As much as he wanted to wipe Louis out, he couldn’t deny that he still listened to the lad’s music.  Fucked up, right?   Louis probably couldn’t even name one of his songs but Harry could name ever song of Louis’ and shamefully can probably recite some better than his own. 

Remember?  Fucked up. 

And that was the reason Niall didn’t know.  To Niall, he hated Louis.  And he did.  It was just old habits were hard to break.  Also, when the enemy was your first crush and who helped him be himself, it was hard. 

_Fucked up._

“Both are powerful songs both for different reasons.  ‘Memories’ is a completely different tone than what your first song is.  ‘Secret Love song _’_ is a little what you already have.   Similar story.”

Ash nodded.  “That’s why I wanted your opinion.  If you think I should change or keep it as it is.”

“Mmm.”  Harry tilted his head as he hummed.  He knew what he would do but this was Ashley’s performance.  It was the second show, and the pressure was just starting.  He wanted to give Ash the right advice.

“Do you think I shouldn’t take the risk.”

He was in the same boat as his boys.  This was his first year and they were asking for his help like what he was meant to do.  He knew all judges must have felt this stress.  Louis, maybe.

If he gave them the wrong guidance, he would never live it down.

“Honestly, I agree it’s a risk but it’s only Wednesday.  So, we have time.  You have time.”

“I know.  Which is why I want your opinion.  You’ve been here.  Do you think it’s a shit idea?  That it’s too soon to play around with choices?”

Well, in his own bias opinion, Louis’ song was better but he also didn’t want to give the dick the satisfaction that someone sang his song when he was there.  “Memories” was actually more powerful and was more successful on the charts. Both songs were great, though.  And Ash couldn’t go wrong.  Unless if he picked too late.

“Well, both are great and I think either would be a fine choice.  You’re going to have to work harder if you change.”  He knew he was repeating himself but he was the mentor.  He was responsible for Ashley.  He wanted to guide him and give his advice.  From watching the previous series and his own experience. 

“But if you didn’t let me have an opinion, what song would you have me sing?”

And that was the real question.  He wanted to say Louis’ but then he wanted to say Little Mix’s to avoid having to admit what he thought would be better.  For the time he’s heard Ash sing, his voice would suit “Memories” so much better.  He could do a lot with that song.  It had higher notes that would show his rang.  “Secret Love Song” was so beautiful and he loved it as soon as he heard it.

He couldn’t answer without being bias and he wasn’t supposed to.  The other reason on why he was hesitant was it was too soon for him to let the boy’s sing judges’ songs?  There wasn’t a rule against it but it was risky.

“I think, you’ll be taking a risk with “Memories”.  But you have the voice for it.  I think it’d be a better fit.  But you know your voice better than anyone else.  I don’t want to guide you wrong.”

Ash opened his mouth like he was going to protest but closed it promptly and nodded.  “Thanks, Harry.  But are you sure?  It’s only the second week and you-”

“I know.  But I also believe that right now, you know what will work if you are already looking at another song and comparing them both.”

Ash looked more confused than before.  Harry didn’t really help the lad like he was probably hoping for.  He didn’t want to tell which song _he_ thought would work.  He was supposed to help and guide, not pick the song.  If he did, they would never touch Louis’ music.

 “So, I say it’s your choice.  But if you want my choice, Louis’ but only if you want to and are willing to do the work, which I know you will.

“Oi, thanks, Harry.  Now I’m even more confused,” Ash joked as he smiled.

“Well, you have my support no matter what.”

 

 

*****

 

As much as Harry wanted to know what Ash picked, he also wanted to be surprised.  At the same time, this was a risk letting the boy take full control of the song, the rehearsals.  Really, all of it.

He was sure if he asked Ash, he’d tell him but at the same time, he knew he wanted to show he had faith in him.  In all his boys.

Niall wasn’t going to visit until next week, which now that they were in the second week, he really didn’t care when the Irish lad came.  Niall was done recording so he really didn’t have an excuse.  So, he was just being a lazy twat and using the line that recording had drained him.  Which were fucking lies and the fact that he used that on him was fucking insulting.

He didn’t know why but he was more nervous for this week than last week.  This week didn’t have to live with the shame of being the first of the judges to lose a contestant but he still wanted to beat Louis, even if it was only for a week.  He wanted one of Louis’ girls to be gone before one of his boys.

He was dressed and ready and in his room.  He knew the Louis was here, he heard his laugh a half hour ago.  The main reason why he was still hiding. 

He spent most of his day talking to Niall or looking for news about the X-Factor.  The latter wasn’t really an interest.  He ignored what was said about him and just focused what they said about the contestants.  What was said about him was the same since the start, just a different day and different words.  They really needed to figure out new material.

He knew he was the youngest judge they’ve ever had.  He knew that he didn’t have as much experience as Louis.  He knew he was always behind Louis.  How that was relevant to this, he didn’t know.

He just hoped the press would be kinder if his contestants advanced well.  Again, it was always about the fans or in this case, the viewers.

Judges usually said they feel like they had the winner in their group.  And he knew they all felt confident enough to say that but he didn’t.  He’s only been doing this for a few months.  Everyone else has had at least one win.

There were eight more weeks.  Eight weeks where his boys would be at risk at being sent home.  Maybe only three.  Tonight would show.

He was excited for tonight.  He was more confident in the boys’ songs than last time.  Last week they were all on their own in song choice.  Which may have been a fucked-up idea if it went to blow.  Now, he let them pick again but he gave his opinion and convinced Chris to do a different song.  He was almost a hundred percent sure that he would have gone home if he did Liam’s song, “Tidal wave”.  It was not a good song.  And it wasn’t because Liam was Louis’ mate.  He wasn’t the only one who didn’t like the song.  Niall hated it and actually tweeted Liam.  To be fair, it was from the album when Harry came into the light.  He also was the one to suggest a Louis song.  Maybe a bit of favouritism but the song choice was justifiable.

He would never admit it but he didn’t hate Liam’s music.  He just liked Louis’ a lot more and even now, he still did.  But that didn’t mean he didn’t have to like the man.  He could appreciate talent when he heard it.  He wasn’t petty.  Niall was.

Speaking of Liam, he didn’t get why he was with Zayn.  Not that he’s one to judge but Zayn always had this unapproachable vide, whereas Liam, he felt he could go up to the singer anytime.  But then Liam retweeted a post from Louis which was Louis boasting about winning an award of a third time.  If you weren’t Harry or Niall, you wouldn’t notice the subtle dig.  He felt his distaste of the singer was misplaced but he couldn’t support him without openly hating his best mate and secretly hating his boyfriend. 

This was why he didn’t have many friends.  So many people had connections to Louis that the farther he stayed away from, the better.  He also figured that Louis only Tweeted him because award shows were really the only time they interacted.  Though social media though.

The one and only time he tweeted Louis was when iHeart awards were happening, three months after they met.  That’s when the competition really started and the begging of him rarely using his Twitter.  Louis found him regardless.

 

 

*****

 

 

Like last week, Louis and he were the first waiting, minus Zayn.

“Where’s Zayn?” he asked before realizing he broke his rule and talked first.  It wasn’t a big deal, Louis looked pissed and he didn’t want to start something until they were clear.

Louis looked to him, brows pulled into a furrow.  “Talking to Liam.”

“Oh.”

“He’s coming home Monday and I am already ready to band Zany from my room.”

“Well, he-”

“He talked to Liam for two bloody hours and is still on the phone. I’m stress about tonight and he-” he cut himself off when Sharon joined them, starting a conversation with her.

Harry stared at them.  He never had—well, Louis did the talking but it was normal and he was sharing too much.  Too much for Louis.  He wondered if Louis knew what he shared or would just forget it.  He’d rather Louis forget.

Before he could consider if there was a bigger meaning to Louis’ confession, Simon and Zayn joined them.  Zayn rushed off to do the introductions, earning a glare from the older lad.

As Harry took his seat, he felt the nerves return.  The arena was loud and electric.  It was easier to prepare yourself for the night, but he didn’t know what the endgame would be.  He could feel confident in a crowd, around people, but he felt nerves for the lads.  Chris still had a bit of trouble last night and Ash had begged him to let him rehearse on his own.  Stupid decision.  He was his mentor and base on this performance, he may take a harsher role next week.

From Louis’ comment, he wondered how the girls were doing.  were the song choices not good enough or was he stress because he didn’t want to lose someone like last week’s scare.

He had to wait to hear each girl performance but he was almost certain that it was the latter.  Last year Louis’ acts never got criticized by the song choices but the performances.

He had to worry about the songs, showing Louis he could do this, Showing Simon he made the right choices and showing the rest that he wasn’t Louis’ shadow.  He earned his place here.

Chris was the first out and as much as Chris worried him last night, he pulled it together and was brilliant.   “Fall for You” was an interesting pick.  Well, not that it was safe but he didn’t have any high notes to hit but it was a strong song.   Yet sometimes you didn’t need high notes with you did a great job with the song choice.

Unlike last week, he made a note to remember the order for the night and he’d have to wait for four acts before Olivia went and Ella was three after.  Ash was fourth and Chris was right after Ella.  Laura was the last act and he always felt like the last singer had an advantage or disadvantage depending on how well they were.

Elegance sang “I Really Like You _”,_ which he liked but it wasn’t the best rendition he’s heard.  The arrangement of the song could have been better.  There was one verse where it would have worked better if Mia had continued instead of letting Alyssa take over.  It felt like they cut the sentence.

When it was his time, he pointed out that it felt like they were cutting each other off, which Sharon agreed with.  Louis would never agree with him but there was an undertone of an agreement.  Of course, they were playing with fire with it being Simon’s group.

Ash and Harry took over to the screen of them in the rehearsal.  Ash was asking which song he should do, where Harry said both were great songs and it’s really what he was more comfortable with. 

Ash’s face took over the screen, smiling brightly.  “I know Harry is taking a lot of faith in letting me pick my own song.    So, I hope I make him proud.”

He held his breath and almost choked when the first note started and Ash started Louis’ song.  Yes, recognized the song from the first note.  Sue him.  It was a dark secret that this song more than Louis new stuff.

Fucked up.

Harry was smiling softly as Ash trailed off, letting the crowd applaud him.

“Ash, mate, that was sick,” Louis said once the applauds died down enough so he could be heard.  “And I know I am gonna sound so egotistic, but I can’t deny that was a brave choice yet you did it justice.  I’m very impressed.

Simon joked that he sang it better than Louis which earn a laugh but Harry had to bit his lip and he could tell by Ash’s smile, it was forced.  Even he didn’t believe it but he actually was the best of the night, so far and he could say that because he was only the fourth

“Ash,” Harry cheered.  “I have to admit you chose the right song.  I can tell you were probably nervous choosing this song after we talked, but you worked so hard and I’m so proud of you.”  He wanted to say more but he didn’t want to curse anything right now.  If he was still here by week five than he probably could start comparing old performance.

“Thanks, Harry.  I’m actually glad I took your suggestion,” Ash said quickly.  He wanted to thank Harry for his help and if he got eliminated tomorrow, at least he could say he picked a song that worked.  After Harry left, he practiced both songs and realized “Memories” was more in his rang without changing the whole song.

“Well, I’m proud of you,” Harry smiled and just then Zayn came up to Ash.

He may get shit for this.  Showing favouritism or something the fans can twist into a scandal.  He gave Chris similar complements but Ash was the one who was the most nervous and skeptical about the choice they made.

Olivia sang “We Belong Together”, while Ella chose “Bleeding Love” _._ Ella was great.  Olivia was good but it was the song chose.  As much as he liked the song, he had to admit she was in his bottom two at the moment.

By Louis’ comments and praise for Ella, Harry was sure she was like Chris, causing them both worry and stress.  Even though they were only eight in and she was Louis’ girl, Ella was his favourite so far.  Ignoring Ash Noah and Chris.  This was a competition, he was allowed to be biased but he could also have favourites out of the others.  It just sucked that it was Louis who was getting the honour.  He was sure they all did but they just wouldn’t admit it.  Why would you really?

Laura wrapped up the show with “I Want It That Way” before Zayn signed off. 

Overall, it was a fine night.  All the boys did well, but Laura, Ella and Dynamic Creatures were also great.  He didn’t think any of the lads were bad enough be in the bottom two, yet, it’s happened.  Sometimes things sounded differently than through the telly.

He wouldn’t be that judge looking back and analyzing everything all over again as some judges admitted.  He hated watching himself.  He was his worst critic.  Hated his clothes, stance, how he pronounced a line.  He knew Niall did it but for him, it was more personal.   He’d just let Niall fill him in how it was from the telly.

He walked backstage, nodding and smiling at people as he passed.  He skidded to a stop when he met the figure of the man he didn’t want to talk to.  They talked enough early and that was enough.

“You’re in my way.”  _Again._

“Well, I was here first.”

“And this is _my_ room,” he prompted but Louis didn’t move.  Harry shoved Louis, a little harsher than he intended to but Louis liked to push him.  He didn’t have a chance to open the door when Louis’ voice continued.

“I should thank you, Styles.”

He wanted to get to his hotel, maybe call his mum and have a snack.  He was starving and if he stopped to talk, Louis wouldn’t let him go this time.

Harry stopped and turned slowly, not impressed Louis had something else to say.  Couldn’t he just have a day where Louis would leave him?  Or just the night.

“What are you talking about?”  He glanced to the singer and to Zayn who was just looking at Louis.

“Apparently you suggested my song to Ash?  Your contestant?”

“Don’t flatter yourself.   You already have a big enough head.”

Zayn laughed at that, drawing both men’s attention.  Louis gave the raven-haired lad a murderous look, Harry just scrunched his eyebrows in confusion.  This was the second time he made Zayn laugh and though he should feel proud, he didn’t.  It creeped him out.

“What?” Zany snapped at Louis.  “He’s-”

“Whatever.  Probably not a good idea.  You allowed him to use your rival’s song.”

“Rival, yes but I didn’t use your song.  Ash-”

“You know what I meant.”  It was funny seeing how easy he could wound Louis up and so simply.

“I do and it wasn’t my pick.  Ash had two and asked my opinion.  He sang yours better.  I’m not about to sabotage my boys over our feud.  If he sang the other song better, I would have told him that.  It, unfortunately, had to be yours.  But I’ll do whatever it takes for my contestants to have a great performance.”

That was a partial lie. Ash came up with the choice but it was Harry who pushed for Louis’ song.  It was a better song and like tonight.  It fit Ash.  He just hoped with Ash’ thanks, people would think Harry wasn’t above letting the boys sing Louis’ songs.  It just couldn’t happen again.

“Are we done?  You got a shout out through my contestant.  I think that shows how I am more professional that I can separate what goes on in my life to the task here.  Must have killed you to give Laura a yes and your house.”

Louis was fighting the urge to shut Harry up.  He was being a bitch right now and making him feel like the bad person here.  Harry would agree but that wasn’t what was happening here.  Harry was getting a rare burst of courage and he had to shut it down.

“You’re cute when you’re trying to be tough.  Maybe the tabloids are right and you’re too kind for this.”

Harry just rolled his eyes.  “Maybe it’s just you.  I can handle this just fine.”

“Until you lose someone tomorrow and the next week and the next week.  And then you’re out.”

Harry just scoffed and opened his door.  He wasn’t going justify him with a response.  He was happy right now and if he stayed he would start a fight.

He didn’t hear Zayn finally breaking, laughing loudly or the slap on his arm as it echoed through the hallway.  If that was how Zayn was going to be, he was going to have to talk to him.  If he was on his side, Harry was not funny.

Louis glared at Zayn when Harry disappeared.   “What was that?”

“Nothing.  You were just pissed.  I say that Harry and you may end up killing each other or something.”

His loyalty was to Louis.  They’ve been mates for years and he didn’t help him get the X-Factor job.  Thank you very much.  The tabloids were wrong.

“I know Harry said don’t look too much into Ash singing ‘Memories’ but you can’t deny that you wouldn’t actually let one of the girls sing one of his songs.  You’d offer anything but that.”

The older lad frowned.  He hated when Zayn got like this.  He hated that he couldn’t deny that what he was saying was true.  He actually didn’t get why Zayn was suddenly a fan of Harry.

“It’s only week two, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” 

“It’s only week two and Harry is showing that he is serious and what you two have won’t affect him.”

“You make it sound like we are ex-lovers.”

“I’m just saying, Lou.  Maybe here isn’t the time to hate each other.  You both have a job to do.”

Louis was silent for a long moment.  Zayn had a point.  They were here for a reason.  He had to get his girls to the finals.  But at the same time, he didn’t like Harry being sweet and seemingly unaffected by all of this when he was suffering.

 

 

*****

 

 

“Don’t you have your own room,” Louis snapped from his vanity chair, glaring at the lump on the couch. 

As soon as Zayn barged in, he took over the couch, scowling up at the ceiling.   The chair was bloody uncomfortable and Zayn showed no sign of moving.

“Seriously, Zayn.  This is my room.  _My c_ ouch,” Louis snapped as he glared at Zayn who was laid on the couch, scrolling on his phone and wrinkling his suit.

“I do,” the lad said without taking his eyes off his phone.

“Then why are you in mine?”

“Because it’s better and I enjoy your company.”

“Bullshit!  If you’re gonna be here, take the chair.  This is my room.  I should get the sofa.”

Zayn just shrugged, not bothered by his mate’s irritation.  “Don’t care.  I’m depressed.”

Louis rolled his eyes at the dramatics his friend was pulling.  Liam was going to be here tomorrow.  It wasn’t like he got delayed like last time.

“You are so dramatic.  Your boyfriend is going to be here _tomorrow_.  Honestly, why do you care?  Management could have been a dick and kept him longer.”

“I know but the night of always drags.”

Louis rolled his eyes and let out a loud groan.  This was why he didn’t do relationships.  He couldn’t handle someone this clingily and could never be this invested in someone else’s life.  Well, romantically. 

“Yeah, too bad.  Get up.  And who the hell are you texting?” he bypassed the comment.

“And I thought I was the vain one.”  Louis turned to glare at the dark-haired lad who was now staring at him.

“You know you’ll probably have to do the same when you get up.  And you bitch when your hair gets fucked up.”  He was right.  He never heard someone fuss over their before until he met Zayn.  His mum always joked that he was acting like a girl with the time and effort he spent on his hair.  Which, in his defence, he was nothing like Zayn.  Lottie often said that there was never a question that he was gay.  He almost killed her for that one.

“One time.”

Louis was getting pissed.  It was one thing for Zany to invade his space and another when he straight up ignored him.

“Well, you took the couch, the mirror is here and who the hell are you texting?  If you’re not going to talk to me, get out.”

“God, you are so fucking whiny,” Zayn grossed as he sat up.  “You’re such a slag for attention.”

Louis resented being called a slag but he couldn’t deny that he craved attention.  Which was probably why he did X-Factor right after he announced his break.  He wanted to be in the public eye.  But he knew he could disappear and come back just the same.

“And I’m texting Liam since you have to know everything in my life.”

Louis just smirked and stood up.  “Better fix your hair, mate.  And what did he say?  Coming home tomorrow, right?”

“Yep,” Zayn said as he got up, shoving Louis out of the way to fix his hair.  The mobile buzzed but Louis was too fast.

Louis felt a smirk spread over his face as an idea came to mind.  This may—actually, no, it would piss Zayn off but it would be worth.  Get him back for the week of headaches and stolen couches,

“Umm, Zayn?  Liam texted back.”

“Okay?  What did he say?”

“He’s not going to be here until the day after tomorrow.”

Louis saw the flicker of shock flash through the man’s face before he shrugged nonchalantly.  “Okay.  He did warn me.”

What the hell?

“Zayn, he’s still coming,” he prompted, trying to get a better reaction from his friend.

Zayn had plans but he would just have to scrap them.  The downfall of dating a popstar.

“I know.  At least he’s not going to be delayed until next week like last time.”

A knock echoed the door.  “Mr. Malik?  Mr. Tomlinson, we’re ready,” a female voice called outside.

“Looks like it’s time.  Let’s hope it’s Harry.”

Zayn just rolled his eyes and pulled the door open.  “Just give me my phone.”

Louis just smirked and handed it back, waiting for the lad’s respond.

“You fucking prick!” Zayn snapped as he saw Liam’s message, which was a photo of his packed room, teasing about his coming home tomorrow.

“Oh, come on!  It was funny.”

Zayn just brushed past him, too pissed to comment.  He was so excited for tomorrow and Louis almost crushed his plans.

“Karma is gonna kick your ass.”

“As long as it’s not tonight.”

“You know, times like these-”

“I didn’t miss the show, right?”

Zayn looked to Louis, they both knew that voice but he wasn’t supposed to be here until tomorrow.

“Liam!” Zayn gasped, rushing to Liam.  “You scared me.”

Louis watched his best friends fondly.  Like him, Zayn never wanted to settle down but then he met Liam and it changed him.  Not at first since they were just fooling around but now they’ve been going strong since Zayn pulled his head out of his arse.

“Let Payno go, Zayn.”

“Sorry,” the singer grinned sheepishly.

“Yeah.  Whatever.”  Zayn pulled the man in for a kiss.  Probably to intents for the public but Zayn wasn’t one to care about other people’s opinions.  Also, it was the first time they had physical contact in months.

 “You two have all night,” Louis gritted out, walking to the newly arrived man.

“Fuck off, Tom-”

“You’re are such a shit,” Louis laughed, cutting Zayn off, pushing him back to hug Liam. 

“Good to see you again, mate.  Missed this.”

“Don’t you mean Zayn?”

“Just wait until you start dating and-”

“Never gonna happening,” Louis interrupted.  This had been a conversation he’s had with many people for years and it was still going to be the same answer.  He liked the single life.   He was in no rush to change that.

“You do realize that means we’ll have him on our couch for years?” the host deadpanned.  He was tired of this conversation and didn’t want to touch on it when it was Liam’s first night back.

“Yeah, not gonna happen,” Liam joked, causing Zayn to laugh and Louis to glare.

“Screw you two.   And actually, we should be almost starting soon,” Louis looked to a random clock on the wall and grinned.  He was excited for tonight and more so with Liam here.

“Really was cutting-” Liam trailed off, eyes trained on something behind Louis.

Louis turned to see Harry walking by them.  He narrowed his eyes and snapped “What are you looking at?”

The boy shot his head to the three men, looking shocked and stuttered.  Louis almost felt bad.  Almost.  But Harry walked in on their conversation even though they were in the hallway to the stage.

“Uh, n-nothing?”  He may be confident when it was just Louis and Zayn but now Liam was here and the lad scared him.  Even though he was sweet on camera, his size was intimidating.  He had height though.  He always had that but Liam was taller than Louis.

He rushed past then, meeting a crew member who walked him to his spot.  Louis glared at how easy Harry could start a conversation with anyone.

“Is that, that Harry lad?” Liam asked, pulling Louis back to his conversation.

“Yeah,” Zayn said.

“I’ve heard some of his stuff; he’s actually pretty good.”

“He’s a twat,” the other singer said without missing a beat. 

“Ignore him,” the host said with a bored look.  “He’s just pissed that Harry took his spot during his hiatus and is worried he’s being forgotten.” 

In all honesty, though he wouldn’t admit it to Louis just yet, after Judges’ Houses, he had a new opinion on Harry after all the boys, except Matt and Ezra, had nothing but nice things about the new judge.

He wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t good enough.

 “Trust me.  It’s all an act.  Let’s go.  We were probably supposed to be ready five minutes ago and I don’t need Simon on my arse.”

 

 

*****

 

 

Zayn did his practiced speech.  He got away with improvising for the first three weeks of his first year before Simon and the producers forced him to read a script.  Luckily, the rest, Zayn had free range and the audience reacted to him well.  He was a favourite and had the second highest ratings since the show started.

Niall had called Harry last night and gave his opinion on everyone.  And he meant everyone.  But he pointed out that Harry’s suggestion of “Memories” was the right choice after he was told it was between that and “Secret Love Song”.  Also, they both agreed that Noah was the weakest of the three but not by much.  Ironically, he was the only one who hadn’t questioned his choice and changed it.  He wasn’t the worst of the night though.

He didn’t really pay attention when Nicole Scherzinger took the stage for her performance, he smirked as he remembered his conversation with Niall when he found out about her performing tonight.  He was already mad that Liam got a spot over him and then Nicole.  He claimed that is was only because she was a judge three years ago.   He didn’t know if that was true but he wished Niall got a spot this series.

Zayn talked to Louis and Simon after one of the commercial breaks and like always, they gave the cliché answers of what their thoughts were on last night.  Though, he did the same when it was his turn.  They had to back their acts up, praise the others and then lightly critic the acts that could have done better.

Before long or agonizingly slowly for Harry, they were all walking on stage for the results.

He had to remind himself that this was only the second week and somebody had to go.  It was just nerve-wracking.  He knew Louis was waiting for Zayn to announce one of his lads was in the bottom.

He knew Niall would be watching.  He never was the biggest fan of the X-factor.  Didn’t watch it as much as Harry and last year was because Harry pretended like he just wanted to see what Louis was like on the show that made him famous.  Well, it wasn’t a lie.  He really did want to see Louis as a judge but that wasn’t the only reason.  Harry made the excuse just to watch Louis without being judged for giving Louis his attention again.  Niall knew the truth and Harry knew Niall knew but they pretended that what they were doing was research.

“So, in no particular order,” Zayn said, pulling Harry out of his thoughts.  “The first safe this week is… Melissa.”

Harry looked over at the girl pulling Sharon into a tight hug.  He smiled and clapped like he was supposed to do.

“The next act safe this week is… Ella.”

Harry felt a little happier for her.  She was younger than Ash by one year but she and Noah were the youngest they had.  She was going to be here next week.  Chris got called, followed by Angie.

“The fifth act joining us next week is, Dynamic Creatures.”

Simon should be thrilled that he had one act safe.  He also thought Elegance would be safe.  They weren’t bad last night but the voting sometimes surprised them.

Ash was safe next.  He hugged the relived boy as he hugged him after hugging Chris and Noah.

Laura and Elegance were called next, leaving Noah, Olivia and Peter.

Harry could hear Noah breath heavily.  Only one spot left before the sing-off and it was either one of his or Louis’ acts or they would both be fighting for the spot.

“The final act safe and joining us next week is, Olivia.”

Harry heard Louis and Olivia celebrating as he hugged Noah, comforting.

It was going to be fine.

Noah was going to be safe.

 

 

 

*****

 

 

It felt like ages until the show ended and Harry was allowed to leave.  His mobile rang the minute he walked through the door, almost like Niall knew.

“I’m going to kill him,” he growled instead of a ‘hello’.

“I know.  I saw.  Is he daft?  What-”

“I want to say tone-deaf but I think he’s getting me back for last week.”

“That’s bollocks.  You didn’t vote for Olivia.”

“Yeah, well, I think he knew this would piss me off.”

“Well, it did,” the Irish lad joked.

“This isn’t funny, Niall.  I have to go and yell at the bastard before he leaves.”

“Oh,” the singer cheered happily.  “If you need help with the body, my offer still stands.”

“I’ll think about it,” he said before he hung up.  He had a missed call from his mum and a text from Gemma but his sister was like Niall and as soon you gave her attention, you’d be stuck for hours and right now he couldn’t do that.

He left his room and got to Louis’ in record time.

He knocked loudly on the door, waiting for the arsehole to answer.

Instead of Louis, Zayn answered, looking smug like he knew this would happen.

“Is Louis there?” he asked without a greeting, short and to the point.

“Yeah.”

And that was the only answer he needed before he was pushing the man out of the way.

“What the fuck was that?” he shouted as he walked up to Louis, stopping only a couple feet away.

Louis looked up, a bored look on his face.  Liam was next to him, looking worried that Harry might actually explode.

“Could you guys give us a moment?” the older lad said, still sounding bored and only kept his eyes on Harry.

“Um, yeah.  Sure.”  Liam stood up and Zayn grabbed his wrist.

“We have plans anyway.”  But the look on the other two lads’ faces showed they weren’t listening.

“What was that, Louis?” Harry snapped when they were alone.

Louis took a heavy, exhausting sigh like he knew this was coming.  The Styles boy was too predictable.

“We’re even now,” Louis shrugged

Harry was sure if he was stood any closer he would punch the arrogant prick. 

“That’s not funny!  This is serious.  And how the hell is this ‘even’?  I sided with you last week.  You went against me and you know that Noah was far better than Johnathan.”

“Yeah.  Well…” Louis trailed off like he forgot about last week and thought he needed to get back at Harry or he truly wanted to see how Harry would react to this.  Either way, he was ready to kill the singer.

“Do you enjoy this?”   He already knew the answer.

“Kind of.  You make it so easy.”

“When you put my contestants on the line, yes, I think I have the right to be mad.  You were mad at me last week for no reason and now I’m overreacting?”

Louis tipped his head, studying the brooding man.  Harry had a point and he would have felt like shit if Noah had gone home tonight but he liked getting Harry worked up.  He was cute. It was just fun seeing what set him off.  In all honesty, he was sure the prospect of losing an act would set anyone off, not just Harry.  He wanted to push the boy further.  He had him alone and this was an opportunity he wasn’t about to pass up.  It interested to see how the boy reacted away from Twitter.

He didn’t disappoint.

“So, are you saying you'd rather it be you?”

“Yes!” he shouted without realizing.  “You’ve been here before.  Why are you playing with people because of me?”

“Oh, that’s pretty arrogant of you to think this is all because of you.”

“Drop the act, Louis.  You weren’t like this last year and we both know Johnathan was the weakest.”

“Oh, calm down, Styles.  I knew Noah was safe.”

“How?  Your opinion and the opinions of the viewers can be very different.  For all we know, Johnathan. could have stayed.  Then what?”

Harry had a point.  This was childish but he finally had Harry here and not behind a screen.  He couldn’t let the younger lad know he was right.

Louis grinned and pushed up from the couch.  He pushed into Harry’s space, leaving only an inch between them.   “You’d still be here?”

“And if you are going to play this game then I will too,” Harry pushed on, ignoring Louis. “You can-”

He cut off when Louis walked him back into the vanity chair.  It was uncomfortable but he slowly felt his self slipping.

“You talk too much and I’m down listening to you.”  He cupped the taller man’s face and pressed his lips against his hard.  Harry kept his lip thinned, fighting the urge to respond.  Louis wasn’t winning so easily but damn, it was hard.

Louis pressed his hips to the other’s and honestly, Harry wanted to break.  He didn’t care if Louis was grinding on him.  It’s been too long and if Louis was willing, why not?   Niall may kill him though.  But Louis would have to work for it.

No.  Louis wasn’t going to win tonight.

Harry tried to bit back a moan but he ended up whimpering.  He gasped in surprise when Louis tried to move him but Harry pushed back, turning Louis.

“No.”

He kissed Louis this time, smiling inwardly when Louis responded.  He pulled back, smirking sweetly as he kneeled in front of Louis.

He unbuttoned Louis trousers, pulling his trousers and pants down, biting his lip as he took in Louis half-harden cock.

He hesitated for a moment before wrapping his hand around Louis.  He’s given blow jobs before but this was Louis and he didn’t want to be judged.

Louis gasped when Harry ran his hand up and down his length.  “Get on with it,” he gritted.  He was impatient and he was giving Harry the control but he wasn’t about to be teased.

“Whatever,” Harry muttered before he ran his tongue over the tip.

Louis groaned, running his hand through Harry’s hair.  “Shit,” he moaned when Harry swallowed him without warning and by the man’s movements, he didn’t care.  Louis didn’t care.  All his wanted was to get off.  It’s been a few weeks and he was desperate enough to let Harry blow him.  Also, it was a sight to see the man he teased on his knees for him.

“Fuck, Styles.”

Harry smirked inwardly; finally getting one over Louis.

He slowly bobbed his head, keeping his movements torturously slow.  Well, from Louis grip in his hair, he was struggling not to thrust.

“God, you-” Louis cut off when Harry pulled back, standing back.  He placed. a quick kiss on the man’s lips before turning to leave.

He paused at the door, turning to look Louis in the eyes and smiled.  “I think we’re even now.” 

He took a deep breath when he was in the hall.  He played Louis game and his heart was racing.  He couldn’t help but smile.  As much as he wanted to tell Niall, he never liked sharing the intimate details of his sex life.  Niall thought otherwise.

He quickly grabbed his coat and bag from his room, before hurrying out, not wanting to run into Louis.

He felt calmer when he walked into his hotel room.  He wanted to call his mum and sister but he needed to eat and shower.  He felt disguising even though he wasn’t sweaty.

He felt strange.  Louis confused him.  He was so hot and cold, and he just wanted Louis to hate him and that was it or give him a chance and respect him.  The former was more likely.

Taking control wasn’t him.  In school, he stayed quiet and to himself.  He got by.  Well, not really.  Matt and Tristian, and some of the others targeted him but if he didn’t engage, the bullying wasn’t that horrible.  Niall said that was what bullied kids said.  Trying to minimizing their pain.  It may be true but he was doing better than any of them.  He thought.  He didn’t know but he was known here as talented.

He blamed what happened today on his feelings.  His old ones that he held deep in him.  But Louis gave it to him. 

It really wasn’t a big deal.  He was just teasing the man and getting payback.  For last week, not for the past few years.  That had to be something great.  Like winning but he also wanted to have control in this move.

After he showered, he went to eat before he called his mum, which she didn’t pick up and Gemma, as he said earlier, talked for two hours.  He was ready for bed but he wanted to call Niall back.  He cut him off and he knew his friend had more to say about the show.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to get into it again but he was planning to spend most of tomorrow with the boys.

He settled into bed, figuring that it was better to call Niall, ready to just sleep than to have to do everything after they hung up.

“So, how are you feeling?” Niall asked in lieu of a ‘hello’ when he picked up.

“I’m okay, now.  Had a shower and talked to Gemma.”

Niall gasped in mock offence.  “I’ve been with you since day one and you-”

“She’s my sister and I talked to you before,” the younger lad deadpanned, cutting his mate off.

Niall just shrugged even though Harry couldn’t see.

“Okay.  I’ll give you that.”

“I wasn’t asking permission to talk to my family before you.”  He liked talking to Niall because he understood this life and Louis, but there were times where his family gave him the comfort he needed.

“What did Louis say?”

“Honestly, nothing really.  Just said he knew Noah wouldn’t go home.”

He wasn’t about to tell the Irish boy what Louis actually said and what they did.  He wasn’t ready to share that and he really didn’t think he’d share it.  Nothing happened in the sense of gossip.  Maybe for Louis but he really didn’t care about that right now.

He needed more time to evaluate Louis’ behaviour.  It was different.  He was different.  They were different.  This wasn’t the internet or an award show and as much as he wanted to ignore Louis, he couldn’t.  They had to socialize with each other.

“I seriously don’t get what goes through that bloke’s mind.”

“If I knew I’d gladly tell you.”

It was a question Niall and he had since the start.  He had an idea but he also was confused when he tweeted him that night.  They weren’t even up against each other that year or, well, that award show.  May was when Harry lost to Louis for the first time out of many.

After he lost, so many people tweeted that he deserved Breakout Star like Niall said when they first met.  He felt bad that a majority of people thought the girl shouldn’t have won.  She was talented but he now trumpeted her on the charts.  Getting the award would have been great but he counted as one of the best nominations he’d ever reserved.  It also helped that it wasn’t with Louis.  A clean start.

When he met Louis again in May, he tried talking to him.  He was ignored and Niall didn’t come because he was visiting his family for a month.  He attended that show alone.  Well, not for the whole night. He met Little Mix but that was only because Jesy came over. 

They complimented him and how they loved his album.  He didn’t know if they were just being nice but besides Louis, Little Mix was the next big act to come out of X-Factor and he was a fan.

It was the first break he had since he started his tour.  He was exhausted.  He wanted a real break but he was back on the road the next week so he didn’t even have time to go home and see his family.  He just enjoyed sleeping in his own bed and having homecooked meals.

He didn’t exchange numbers with the girls.  One, he just met them and he was too nervous to ask.  Two, they didn’t ask like Niall did and they didn’t give the hint that they wanted to continue talking to him. 

That didn’t make him hate them.  He was still a fan, a bigger fan since Louis pissed him off.  He knew some celebrities didn’t like giving their numbers out to everyone they met.  Or he just assumed.  He didn’t know for sure.

When he told Niall that he finally met them, he asked if he got their numbers.  When he said no, Niall asked if he wanted him to get them for him.  He would have liked that but he didn’t think he’d even talk to them outside of award ceremonies.  Still, it’s not like Niall talked to everyone he had in his contacts.  It was just he was still new.  Only been around for just more than half a year.  Maybe in two or three years from then.

He never asked for their numbers.

“How about we talk about something else?” Niall decided to say after Harry was silent for a long moment.  He didn’t realize he spaced out until Niall’s voice caused him to jump.

“Yeah.  Uh, sorry I-”

“Have a plan for next week?” the older lad asked, saving Harry from the lame excuse he was about to use.

“We haven’t started the next week.  When I meet the boys, I’ll have more information.”  Which, not really.  If week three was anything like the past two weeks, it wouldn’t be until Tuesday that the boys were all sure of their choices.

“Okay.  I’m just excited.  I know I said I wasn’t a big fan of this show but I want all the secrets and stories the show doesn’t air.”

“And also how Louis actually is as a judge.” 

It really wasn’t a big difference than what they showed on the telly.  Actually, he was more involved with his group than the show should.  He was too but Louis had history from the previous series. 

Sharon and Simon just did what they were required to do.

“And how we act in the same room together?” he asked, a smirked which turned into a yawn.   As much as he wanted to continue talking, he was tired and if he didn’t hang up now, he was sure he’d fall asleep on Niall.  Wouldn’t be the first time but he wanted to avoid it tonight.  Actually today.  It was coming up to one and he had to meet the boys for nine.

After fighting with Niall that he’d call tomorrow, he hung up and fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

 

 

*****

 

 

Louis was in his room, alone since Zayn ditched him for Liam.  The dick also turned off his mobile so he really was alone.  His sister was always an option.  He knew she usually stayed up late but that didn’t mean an invitation to call.  She’d probably cuss him out and then talk but he wasn’t in the mood to get yelled at.

He was reeling from tonight.  Lottie had texted him that he was a dick for choosing Noah over Johnathan.  He still couldn’t get over that Lottie was a Harry Style fan.  It wasn’t like she liked him over her brother but she said she had to have a favourite besides her brother.  Which, that was fair but couldn’t it have been Liam or hell, even Niall.

He considered going on twitter to see what the thoughts were on tonight’s episode but he wasn’t in the mood to read about himself or Harry.  Or any of the acts.

Tonight, was weird.  None of the girls were at risk this time and he really didn’t get why he said Noah’s name.  He knew he wasn’t in the same league as the others last night but he wasn’t worthy of being in the bottom.  Angie and Elegance were right up there with Johnathan.

He knew if Noah had actually been sent home, Zayn would question what he was thinking.  He actually did when they went to his dressing room.  He’d actually felt bad.  Harry had a point.  Their anger and feud were between them and should stay that way as the show continued.

He was sure Harry would have voted against Olivia but he didn’t and Louis’ anger for Harry that night disappeared when _he_ wasn’t the reason Oliva almost went home but he couldn’t admit to defeat for only one night where Harry was on his side.

As for tonight, he was sure no one would believe him, even Harry and he was even questioning it himself.  Did he really mean it or was he just saying it to make himself feel better but he didn’t mean to say Noah’s name?  Meant to say Johnathan but his mouth and brain did that stupid thing where you blurted out what you were thinking.  There he was thinking Noah didn’t deserve to be there but he was too proud to admit he said the wrong name and the fact that it was Harry’s contestant made it impossible to swallow his pride.  So, he just hoped his vote didn’t make the mess between Harry and him worse.

After the show, he would say he wasn’t expecting Harry but he really was.  He invaded Harry’s space without a true reason.  Harry did but he didn’t expect it to escalate to were it ended.

He gave up control.  Though, it wasn’t really control.  They didn’t finish and it really was teasing.  All that played in his mind was that they were finally back here.  Four years since their first time and a week since it almost led to something.  But not really.  He was just teasing but he got Harry alone and in private.   Not like the kiss they had when they were filming where anyone could have walked down the halls.  Harry took it a step further where he ended up wanking after the bastard left.

Not his proudest moment.  In his dressing room and to the thought of Styles.  His argument was he was human and he needed release however he got it.

He felt like he and Harry were dancing around each other and someday they would break.  It was happening.  He knew enough about Harry and his relationship.  The four years was a long time where tweets and battles over awards would only last for so long. 

They were now in a different setting.  No wards.  No Twitter.  And it was almost like Simon and Sharon weren’t a part of this equation, well, if they ended up in the finals but there was a separate battle with just the two them.

From what Zayn has said, it was almost like here he was on his own.  It’s only been two weeks but Zayn seemed to be siding with Harry now, though the boy didn’t realize it because Zayn was still loyal to Louis that he wouldn’t admit if his opinion changed out loud.  

Also, Liam was back and though he was glad to have his mate back, he was taking Zayn’s attention away from him and the show or after the show.  He didn’t want to hear the judge’s complaints.

He wondered if this was what Harry felt when he started?  Having no one.  Well, he knew Liam and Zayn were still here but he couldn’t wait three or four weeks until they were able to separate from each other.

The first two weeks were stressful and he was sure next week would be no different.  Each week was stressful and he signed up for another series of this.  For once, he wasn’t planning on continuing his feud with the young singer when he agreed to Simon’s offer.  He didn’t know then but now it was just too tempting.   Harry was just so easy to play with and Harry hasn’t gotten to the point where he retaliated.  It was a fun ride.  He knew Harry would say differently but Harry never voiced his displeasure.  He was sure he felt it but would never say anything.


	10. Live Show: Week Three & Four

_Harry grabbed his books for his last classes before the weekend started.  He had maths and biology.  He didn’t get why he needed the science class.  He didn’t get why he needed biology for photography.  Maths yes but science?  It also didn’t help that it was his last class with Matt and Tristian._

_He had to beg his mum to let him join the photography class.  It cost 30 pounds for the camera and the supplies but that class was his safe haven.  It was his favourite but it sadly was his second class of the day.  Before he saw the boy._

_He pushed his glasses up when slipped down his nose as he put his books into his bag.  He hurried to maths.  It was uneventful.  He didn’t have anyone there who bothered him.  It was a class where most just kept to themselves.  He also liked his teacher.  Ms. Morris.  She was nice and didn’t call on him much.  He was good, it just was embarrassing being called on and having the possibility of sharing the wrong answer._

_Biology wasn’t his worst subject because he was just getting by.  He was actually good in it.  Wasn’t his best but wasn’t his worst.  He only hated it because his teacher, Mr. Wilson, didn’t do alphabetical like half his teachers. He just took the list of students and randomly assigned seats.  He was honoured to get Matt as his seat partner and lad partner.  He said he may change the arrangement if people weren’t behaving but that has yet to happen.  He considered asking Mr. Wilson if he could switch but he was also an intimidating teacher._

_“Harry!” the tall boy called as soon as Harry walked through the door.  It was a rare occasion that Matt actually called him by his actual name.  It may because they were in class and he was making a scene in introducing Harry’s presence. When he sat, that was when Matt called him anything but his name._

_No one was paying attention to him as he trudged over.  He just had to get through this and then he could go home and relax.  It was October and he was already done with this class._

_It also didn’t help the Tristian sat behind him and would flick his head.  Also, the new girl that Tristian and Matt liked sat right across for them and would laugh every time they made a joke about Harry._

_People were cruel._

_“Hey, Harri-”_

_“What?” he sighed when Tristian finally acknowledge him._

_“Do you think you can help me and Stacey?  Neither of us get-”_

_Harry tuned them out, which may end badly.  He was copying the writing from the board.  They were dissecting a frog in November and he was a hundred percent sure he’d have to cut and do the dissecting as well as filling out the paper._

_He didn’t have to do their homework like the movies, but he had to do the partner work._

_“I have my own work do.”_

_“That’s right, Tris,” Matt chimed in, throwing his arm around Harry.  “The fag’s my partner and only helps me.  You get him in history.”_

_A pleasant reminder that even though Matt had history with them too, the shorted lad got Harry’s help._

_He really didn’t have a say.  As soon as it was announced they had partner work, they both descended on him._

_He shivered when Matt called him a fag.  It wasn’t new.  It’s been going on for two years now and they were always careful not to get caught._

_He was afraid to confined in a teacher.  He didn’t want anything to happen and for Matt and Tristan include their football mates to stop from having “some fun”.  Which was what they called the pushing and hitting._

_Harry tried to slip out of the grip but Matt’s hand tightened._

_“Don’t you dare skip Monday.  I need you and you know what will happen if you don’t.”_

_He was about to answer but the bell rang, saving him.  He shoved his books into his bag and hurried out before Tristan or Matt could catch him._

_*****_

After last week’s scare, Noah has been changing his song every hour of every day.  It was Wednesday and he was sat on a couch, watching Noah standing in front of the microphone.

He asked for Harry’s suggestion and opinion for every song.  He couldn’t blame after last week, he’d have been a mess.

“Noah, this song is fine.  The last one was too.  I understand that you are second guessing every song but you do have to pick a song.

He wasn’t trying to be short with the boy but if they kept this up, then they wouldn’t have a song and Noah would actually be sent home.

Noah was fine.  He was only a risk because Louis was a dick and had to play with Harry at the expense of his act.  He said it before and he’d say it again: what he and Louis had was fine but their acts were not the pawns.

He knew Louis and he were in a competition on who was the first to lose someone.  The first week it was Louis.  Last week it was him.  This week, one of them may actually lose someone.  He really wanted it to be Louis.  For once, he wanted people to go against Louis.  Last year proved that even the first act out didn’t mean the mentor wouldn’t win.  Louis lost a group in the second week last series but obviously won.

He just wanted to get one up on Louis even if it didn’t last.                                                     

The theme this week was ‘Express Yourself” and Ash and Chris picked their songs right away, with Ash only changing his choice an hour later.  They just finished practice and Noah was running out of time before Sharon got the studio.  If he could get Noah to choose a song, then he could rehearsal tonight and all day tomorrow and Friday. 

If he was going to be honest, he’d say the boy’s first song was perfect but he’d keep that thought to himself.

“I know but Sunday freaked me out.  I thought it was a great song and-”

“It was.  You were brilliant.  Just sometimes, these things happen but you have to settle on a song.  One you want but we’ve been through nine songs.”

He didn’t know that was possible.  If he was friends with Louis, he’d have asked about last year but that wasn’t an option.

“I know.  I liked ‘How Will I Know’ but Chris got it.”

That was song seven and Harry wanted to slam his head against the wall when he realized Chris claimed it first.

“I still ‘Mercy’ or ‘Impossible’ are the two you should consider. I don’t think ‘Ghost’ is the right song.” ‘Ghost’ was the ninth and hopefully the final song.  In his opinion, ‘Ghost’ wasn’t his style of song.  If he had to steer Noah to one of the two, he’d do ‘Mercy’.  Some girl did ‘Impossible’ two or three series ago and he wasn’t a fan but Noah wanted to be safe this week. 

“Noah,” he sighed and stood up, walking to the boy.  He looked younger at this moment.  Well, he was seventeen but he held himself like he was younger.  It also didn’t help that he towered over Noah when he stopped in front of him.  “I’m going to be honest here, we are running out of time and you have picked some great songs.  I know that you don’t want to screw this up but if you don’t pick a song, I can’t help.”

Noah blushed and ducked his head.  “I know.  I’m sorry.  I was just so happy about my song choice.”

“I know that it was up to the votes but remember: you’re still here.  You got the most votes.  Whenever I have a rough performance, I try not to dwell on it to much the next time I sing and then I start critiquing everything I do.  I don’t want you to do the same.”

“What song would you pick?”

“Do you want my honest opinion?”

“Yes.”

“I say you sing both songs and I’ll tell you which one you did better on and also ask your opinion.

“Um.  Okay.”

“And if you really don’t like either, we’ll find something else.”

 

 

*****

 

 

“You’re finally here!” Harry cried as Niall walked down the hall.

“Told ya I’d be here.”

“You were supposed to be here for the first week,” he reminded the blond who just shrugged.

“So, where’s Tomlinson?” he asked, looking up and down the hall.

“Don’t know.  With Zayn; in his room; talking to Simon?  I haven’t seen him and I don’t want to before I have to.”

“Fair enough.  So how are the boys?”

“Good, I think.  I think Noah is finally confident with his song.  I know last week fucked him up.”

“If you want me to punch Louis, I will,” Niall grind gleefully.

“Thanks.  But if anyone is punching him, it will be me.”

“Who are you punching?”

Harry turned around too fast, tripping over his own feet.  Niall had to grab him.  “No one,” he glared and Louis looked over Niall.

“Niall, nice to see you again.”

“Hmm.  Could say-”

“Niall,” Harry growled in a warning.

“What?  You aren’t the only one that hates Tomlinson.”

“Yeah but not where-”

“Niall!  Wasn’t expecting to see you here,” Liam cheered and stopped next to Louis.

“Well, I thought I’d visit Harry to show my support.  How was the tour?”

Liam went on a tangent on how exhausting it was by the end.  Louis and Harry met each other’s eyes but opposite to Louis’ glare, Harry just shrugged.

“Liam,” Louis cut in, not liking his friend talking to Niall like they were friends.  “We have to go.  I need to get ready and we need to find Zayn.

“Fine,” Liam shook his and looked to the two.  “Nice to see you, Niall.  Harry.”

“Are you sure you don’t miss Liam?” Harry grinned, earning a shove.

“Screw you.  And we were never friends.”

“Whatever you say.”

 

 

*****

 

 

He really just wanted one week where his boys were sure of themselves and confident in their song choices but it was only week three.  Also, he wondered if they could feel confident at all, knowing this may be their last performance.  It was a shitty situation and he wondered why Louis returned.  It wasn’t that the boys were making him regret this but he just wanted the lads to be confident in themselves like he was.  He had faith in them and he was sure Noah was going to redeem himself.

Elegance kicked off the show, followed by Ella and then Ash.  Noah was before Chris but seventh.  He didn’t seem as nervous when he talked to the boys but he could have been hiding it.

He practiced for hours for the past three days and in his room.  If Louis said anything, he may actually punch him.

Harry pushed his hair back.  He has thought about cutting it but he liked the length and Niall’s constant pushing made him want to rebel a bit.  It was his hair.

Olivia came out after Angie and his face almost fell.  Since her first audition, Olivia was always one of the acts on top.  Picking the right songs and challenging herself at the same time.  Tonight, was different.  It either wasn’t the right song or something else, but she was sharp during two of the high notes.  He knew Louis would openly disagree but he couldn’t deny that this was her worst performance. 

“Olivia,” Harry spoke after Sharon and Simon spoke, praising her on the song choice and the performance and he knew what he was about to say.  “That was a great performance but I didn’t feel like it was you.  You weren’t connecting or it wasn’t the right song choice.  It-it just wasn’t your best.”

There were a few boos, obviously and he could practically feel Louis’ eyes roll or maybe he was just thinking it. 

This was a time where he wished Niall was at home watching so he could tell him he was right or not.  Sometimes people sounded different live than on the telly.  Niall would still tell him if he thought so or not.  Maybe he was a bit too harsh.  It was only the third week.  One out of ten and by now they should be able to get some criticism.

“Well, thank you for that, Harry but I have to disagree.  That was a stellar performance.  This was a very different tone in song than what we are used to from you and I have to say I am so proud of you.  Great job.

Louis was right about it being a different tone but it didn’t mean it was the right song.  But what was he going to say about his own act?  He probably would have said something similar if it was one of his boys.

When it was Noah’s turn, he was so glad he picked “Mercy”. He thought it was the right one, after going over the song a dozen times, Noah felt more confident than last week and he hoped the votes sided with him.

He got a louder round of applause than Olivia and Elegance and Harry smiled as the applause died down, letting Sharon to start.

When Louis’ turned came, to Harry’s surprise, he praised Noah.  It was like he took his demand and decided to be a judge and not have it out for Harry.

“Noah, I just have to say that was a fantastic performance.  Everything was great.  The song choice, your presence and the performance.  In my opinion, this was your best performance so far.  Well done, mate.”

The crowd cheered and clapped before it was Harry’s turn.  As much as Louis words were sweet and encouraging, he wondered if he was feeling guilty or that was his actual opinion.  He’d find out backstage later, he was sure of it.

“Well, first off, I just want to say how proud I am right now.  You have shown what you can do with the right song and I know this was a hard week for you but you are back.”

After hearing both songs, the boy had agreed with Harry that ‘Mercy’ was the better option.  It wasn’t about the fact that he sung it better, it just felt more him and as Harry watched, he could tell he wasn’t putting as much energy and emotion in ‘Impossible’ as he was with the other one.  Louis was right when it was his best performance so far.  And though it was only the third week, he went to Niall’s to watch the six-chairs and his performance at his house.  He didn’t get why he still had them saved but it helped now when he can say out of the other times, this was his favourite.  He just hoped the viewers also thought so.

When Chris went, he was the only one out of the three that wasn’t the best.  Still wasn’t the worst tonight.  That title belonged to Mellissa.  And though Olivia was still okay, he thought she’d be a risk tomorrow after hearing all the acts.

Harry found Niall shortly after they wrapped, talking to Liam.  Again, he didn’t hate the singer but he was Louis’ friends and also dating Zayn.  He didn’t get a chance to drag Niall away before Louis and Zayn joined them.

“Well, I listened to you, Styles.  Leaving the contestants out of it.  Apparently, you didn’t follow your own advice.”

Harry gritted his teeth and turned to face Louis.  “We’ll see if you can follow through tomorrow.”

“That comment about Olivia shows you’re not.”

“Oh, come on, even you’re not that deaf to agree she wasn’t the best tonight.”

“Do you really think I would tear down my own girl live?”

“No.   But this accusation is proof that you don’t want to admit it in private,” he gritted out, only vaguely aware that Niall was by him, just taking all of it in.  He was getting a front-row seat on the action that was Harry and Louis’ life at the moment.

“Well,” Louis took a step forward, smirking, “tomorrow may tell a different story.”

“Don’t pull any of this shit Louis or I will fight back.”  He didn’t mean tying up the votes or do anything involving the acts but with Louis pushing him, he’d push harder.  “See you tomorrow.” He turned around and left, hoping Niall will follow.

“You were right about Olivia,” was the first thing Niall said when they got into his room.  “I liked her.  Wasn’t the worst but you were right.”

“Yeah, well, now you know what happens when I speak my mind involving Louis.  At least I can admit to you when I don’t think one of the boys was that great.”

Niall hummed and smiled softly.  “Again: the difference between them.”

“Maybe or maybe he does think it but he won’t admit it to me.  I mean, why would he?  I’m his competition.”

“I-I-as much as I hate Louis and what he does to you, I think you are right.”

“We’ll see tomorrow if any of my acts are safe.  As much as I hate saying this, it has to happen eventually.”  As much as he would love to keep all three, it wasn’t possible.  He just hoped that tomorrow wouldn’t be the night but he couldn’t be greedy.  He was shocked that he wasn’t the first judge to lose someone.

 

 

*****

 

He really wished Niall could have stayed for today as well, he did just finish his album and had to do promo for his new tour and Harry knew Niall couldn’t focus solely on him when he had his job to do.  It was fine.  He enjoyed their time and an excuse to avoid Louis, which, he has yet to see all night.

Well, they still had over an hour before the show would start and he’s been locked in his room since he got here.

He decided he needed air or, well needed a break from his room.  He wasn’t about to wander outside until he had to.

He almost knocked over a body when someone breezed past him or he almost knocked Harry over.

He stopped only a few feet away and leaned against the wall, dropping his head back, hit the wall with a loud thud.

“Louis?” he realized the sorter lad was now muttering something under his breath.  “A-Are you okay?”

He walked over to the man, keeping a safe distance just in case Louis wanted to be alone, he could get away easily.  Who was he kidding?  Of course, Louis wanted to be alone.

“Clearly not,” he snapped, turning to Harry with narrowed eyes.  “Sorry,” he muttered, catching Harry off guard.

“It’s okay.”  Not that was anything out of the ordinary.  The apology was.  “Do you want to talk?”

Louis sighed heavily he dropped his head down, moving his eyes along Harry’s body.

He was in all black, while Louis was in dark blue.

 “Going to a funeral, Styles?” he smirked.

“Not the first time I’ve worn all black and you.”

He would only admit it himself but he loved when Louis only wore matching trousers and a blazer with a white tee.

Louis just hummed as he straightened up.  “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

Not before the show, and if he repeated it, he had a good chance of strangling Simon.  It was only the third result show, and the bastard was threatening not to ask him back if he won again. 

The arrogant prick.  It wasn’t his fault that he was good at mentoring and people may like the girls more than the groups this year.  It was funny that he and Simon traded groups this year.  Also, if he won, it would just prove that he was a better mentor or people just didn’t like Simon.  He’d go with the former because he felt bad for the groups if that was the case.

“Okay.  Well, I guess I let you go?  Bye.”  He rushed down the hall.  It wasn’t that Louis drove him away.  Quite the opposite.  Louis didn’t tell him to leave and because of that, he really didn’t know what to say.

“Oh, Harry?”

“Yes?”

“Be careful of Simon.”

He really didn’t say anything about Harry but Louis knew Simon was building up to it.  He did Simon a favour when he said yes to another year and now, for the first time, it was Simon who was making him regret this.  He should have just taken the year off.  He should have just taken the year to travel and relax but no, he always had to keep busy.

“I, uh-”

“Just a warning.  Good luck tonight.” He winked at Harry before walking away.

Harry, still dumbfounded, watching the man retreat where he was heading but he turned around and went the other way, not wanted to catch up with Louis again.

 

 

*****

 

 

He sat down just as the third elimination show was starting.  He and Louis didn’t talk again.  They only met eyes once before they walked away.  He looked to Simon and then to Harry, giving a small simile.

Louis talked to Zayn after he left Harry in the hallway.  He left the part out that Simon was slowly bothering him more than Harry here.  Not that his feelings and opinions have changed outside but here at the X-Factor, Harry was slowly taking a backseat.

It also didn’t mean he wanted Harry to beat Simon.  He’s rather beat Simon but if he couldn’t, he’d rather Harry over Simon.  He still wanted to beat Harry.  That would be the ultimate win. Nothing about their music.  Nothing about a nomination.  Just who could mentor their acts best to win.

He’d give it to Harry, he was impressing him.  Sharon and Simon lost someone each and he still had all Three.  He and Harry both had a risk of losing an act but survived. Tonight, was a new show and new results.  He just didn’t want one of the girls to go up against one of the boys.  Though it’d be entertaining for the viewers but a total pain for him and he expected Harry as well.

Before he realized it, they were walking on stage to the elimination.  Zayn did his speech until he read the first name.

As much as Harry wanted one of the boys called first, Laura got the honours. She squealed and hugged Louis tightly.  Harry bit back a laugh at how the girl was just at tall as Louis.

“Noah.”

The lad turned and hugged Harry.

“Well done, Noah.”

“Olivia, Dynamic Creatures, Ashley, Angie,” Zayn said, in what seemed like rapid fire but wasn’t.

Harry matched Ash’s big smile.  No matter if he was in the bottom, he did a great job.

Harry had his arm around Chris, trying to calm him as Zayn called Elegance.

“And the last act, safe and will be back next week is… Chris.”

“Oh, thank fuck,” Chris cried and Harry hoped that he wasn’t heard.

Harry walked to the desk, taking his seat by Simon as he looked up to see Louis talking to Ella and Zayn talked to Sharon.

When he watched back last night, Ella was much better than Melissa but last week, she won over Ella.  This week though, Ella didn’t deserve to be here.

He realized he didn’t hear what Louis said before Melissa was introduced.  She sang “Imagine”.  She did a better job last night but this was a better song choice.

When Ella sang “This is Me’, she was just as good as Melissa, which did help.  They were equal tonight but Ella had last night to help her.

“…Sharon, you’re first. Who are you sending home tonight?”

“You both were great tonight.  But I’ll keep this short, as much as I like you, Ella, I have to send you home.  So, the act I am sending home is Ella.”

She got a few boos before Zayn went Louis. 

“Louis, who are you going to send home?”

It really should be a shock with Louis’ answer.  No mentor would send home their own act.  Harry pursed his lips. He was the deciding factor and no matter what he did, Louis would be pissed that Ella was here and not one of his boys.

“First I want to say to you Melissa that that was a great performance. I’ve always enjoyed you and much as I hate doing this, I’ve got to back Ella up.  The act I’m sending home is Melissa.

 “Simon?”

“Well, I have to admit that last night wasn’t the best for either of you but you both showed how much want to here.  But from last night, I’m going to send Melissa home.

 “Harry, it’s up to you.  If you pick Melissa, she will go home, if you say Ella then we will go to deadlock 

The young man looked between the two girls before speaking.  “I just want to say you both should be proud of the performances that you just gave but after last night, I have to say that I know you two are better and I have to send Ella home.  I’m sorry.”

As soon as he said it, he realized he fucked up.  He said what meant to be directed to Melissa but Ella’s name was the first to come out.  If she went home, Louis would go after him which, it was the viewers’ who didn’t vote fault.

The girls looked even more stressed as Zayn took the envelope.  There were a few cheers when a deadlock was announced.  He knew Louis would be mad regardless because he could have just said, Melissa.  Well, he really could have because Zayn announced Melissa.

 

 

*****

 

 

“What the fuck was that?” Louis seethed as Harry walked to his room.

“What the hell-?” Harry gasped as he was pulled into a room.  “Louis!”  He glared as the shorter lad walked around him.

“Answers the question.  I thought we weren’t supposed to involve the contestants.  And then you-”

“I said Ella because I couldn’t pick which one.  They were equally the weakest last night but Melissa was better tonight.  Be thankful that they thought Ella was better.”

 “You’re so sweet, Styles,” Louis muttered in sarcasm.

After he was worried about Harry earlier tonight. After he was defensive after what Simon about him.  About Harry.

He was pissed.

“At least she didn’t go home.  I’m sorry but we will lose someone eventually.  It has to happen.”

It was a lie but no matter what he said, Louis wouldn’t have believed him.  He wanted to say he fucked.  Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say because Louis rolled his eyes and stepped forward, crowding him into the wall.

“You talk too much and I’m down listening to you,” he growled.

Tonight was wearing on him.  First Simon, then Zayn and now almost losing Ella just pushed him over.

He cupped the taller man’s face and pressed his lips against his hard.  Harry kept his lip thinned, fighting the urge to respond.  Louis wasn’t winning so easily but damn, it was hard.

Louis pressed his hips to the other’s and honestly, Harry wanted to break.  He didn’t care it was Louis grinding on him.  It’s been too long and if Louis was willing, why not?   Niall may kill him though.  But Louis would have to work for it.

Harry tried to bit back a moan but he ended up whimpering.  He gasped in surprise when he was pushed back into the chair.

“Louis, move the fucking chair.  If you’re actually going to fuck me, I’m not doing it with a chair cutting into my stomach.

“Ugh,” Louis groaned as he pulled back.  “Again, fucking demanding.”

“You try getting fucked with the backrest pressing into you.”

“We both know I never get fucked,” Louis whispered into Harry’s ear, causing the taller man to roll his eyes.

“Sure.  Probably tried it once.”

“Nope.  Never.”  Which wasn’t a total lie. It happened.  Years ago, though.  “Now stand up,” Louis shoved the chair to the side and pressed Harry over the vanity.

“So are you gonna finally fuck… Shit, Louis,” he gasped when the singer palmed him through his trousers.

“Already hard.  Just for me, Styles.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Tomlinson, it’s been a while and you’re willing.”

“I think you’re lying.”  Louis pressed his lips to his neck, sucking on the skin.  He had half a mind to tell Louis off but it would probably be just like last time.

“Just get on with it or I’m leaving.”

Louis trailed his fingers down the man’s chest to his crotch, pulling to unzip the trousers, pulling them along with his pants, exposing his cock.

“See, already hard… For me.”

“You are too arrogant,” the boy grossed.

“Watch it, Styles or I’m leaving.”

“I want to say that this is your room but that’s never stopped you before.”

“See.  We know each other so well.” 

Harry groaned loudly and dropped his head when Louis wrapped his hand around his pulsing cock.  The retort died on his lips.

Louis dropped his head against Harry’s back, biting his lip hard.  He was already hard and it was startling how fast Harry could turn him on.  He never had thoughts of this ever happening again and he was now and he loved it.

He reached over to the counter, pulling open his wallet, retrieving a condom and a package of lube. 

Harry watched the movement and grinned.  Louis was one of those blokes who carried a condom on them.

“You are such a slag,” the man said, meeting Louis’ eyes through the mirror.

“You’re the one gagging for it, sweetheart.  I say you better not complain.”

He glared at the smug smile the lad was sporting and if he wasn’t on the verge of begging, he would take matters in his own hands.

“Jesus,” Harry moaned when he felt a slick finger circling his rim. 

Louis wasted no time slipping his finger in, adding a second shortly after.  Louis felt his cock twitch in his trousers when the boy begged for more. 

“Another,” Harry demanded after Louis twisted his fingers.

“Are you su-”

“I’m not a fucking virgin,” the younger man snapped.  “You should know.”  He liked the burn. 

“Okay, God you're fucking demanding,” he repeated.

Harry bit his lip when Louis’ fingers brushed his prostate.  “Louis,” he whimpered, already feeling dangerously close.  He really should have gone out with Niall that night.

Just as quickly, Louis pulled his fingers out, pushing his trousers and pants down in a single movement.  The only sounds were Harry’s heavy breathing and the sound of a wrapper being torn.

“Just do i—t-shit.” His head was swimming.  This was the first time in years and it shamefully felt better than any lad he’s had before.

“Fuck,” Louis moaned before pulling back and thrusting hard. 

Harry knew this would be quick and dirty.  He was already on the edge but he also wanted to slap Louis hand away but he knew he would regret this later and just wanted to get it over.  He wanted it, though.  He wanted to feel Louis in him.

“L-Louis, fuck.  Don’t tease.”

“Not teasing, princess.”

He wanted to chide Louis on the comment but his words turned into a high whine when the man’s cock hit his prostate dead on.

Harry tried to push back, trying sped this up but Louis grabbed him and pinned him down.  Yeah, the first time was a fucking act.

“You’d think I’d let you have control,” the man whispered hotly in his ear, causing he dick to twitch.  He couldn’t deny that Louis was fitly and he shamefully loved it rough.

He grabbed Harry’s hair, pulling it back and sucked his neck hard.  Harry’s complaint from last week flashed through his mind but he was past caring.  He’d just have to use a shit-tone of makeup.

“L-Louis, I’m close.”

“Cum,” Louis commanded. 

“I don’t need your fu… Shit.”  Even now Louis had the upper hand.  Well, figuratively and literally.

Louis gave a few harsh thrusts before he came.  He dropped himself against Harry’s back.  Both panting hard, neither one wanting to move.”

“Fuck,” Harry groaned, for a completely different reason when Louis finally pulled out.

Louis handed him a wad of tissues from the box on the counter.  He hurried to clean him up, not looking at Louis as he straightened himself up.  Now was the awkward moment after.

“So, are you gonna kiss me again?”

“Why would I?”

“Considering I just had your dick up my ass, I’d like not to feel like a cheap-”

He was cut off by the shorter’s lips.  “Again,” he said when he pulled off, “So fucking demanding.  Ever just hear about just a shag?”

“I do but I have morals and I want to keep the little I have now.”

Louis scoffed and shook his head.  “You’re are so unbelievable, Styles.”

“I don’t let just anybody fuck me.”  That made absolutely no sense and before Louis could comment, Harry bent forward and kissed him again before slipping out the room with faux confidence.

 

 

*****

 

 

Harry sat against the headboard, staring at the open Skype app.  Niall was online and was still staring at his name after ten minutes.  After he left Louis’ he rushed to his room and then to the car.  He showered, scrubbing hard, trying to get the feeling of Louis erased.  He changed into a t-shirt and joggers, favouring his glasses after having his contacts in for over ten hours.  His eyes were hurting.

He’s already been here for over forty-five minutes and he just signed in onto his laptop.  He wanted to tell Niall.  He shared almost everything with his mate but admitting to shagging Louis again after he was just supposed to work alongside him and nothing else wasn’t news he wanted to share.  Letting himself be fucked was something very different and Niall may actually hate him for giving into the man.

As much as he should have hated himself for giving in, he sadly didn’t and that disgusted him more than letting Louis shag him.  It was better than the first time.  It was odd and painful at first but he didn’t let on.  Louis would have freaked.

Like karma, his computer rang with the annoying beep Skype had.  He couldn’t hide or he could.  He didn’t have to answer but it showed he was on as well.  Niall would know he was ignoring him and then would move to his mobile.

“So, you’re not dead!  That’s a relief?” the cheery boy opened with.  He was far too happy for the time.  Well, it was actually five in the afternoon or something like that there.

“He was pissed of course but Ella was safe in the end so…” he trailed off with a shrug.

“He looked like he was ready to kill you when you forced a tie,” Niall laughed and that’s what he figured Louis looked like but it was nice to know he wasn’t imagining the feeling.

“I didn’t mean to, Niall,” he sighed.  He figured if anyone would believe him, it would be Niall.  “I was thinking that Ella was better than Melissa and I ended up saying her name instead.”

“Oh, well, that makes… Sense.”

Harry just nodded.

“I was wondering that.  Ella wasn’t-”

“She shouldn’t have been in the bottom.  I know.”

This night was just so confusing and draining.  Louis was so strange earlier and now he was acting like his old self.

“One of the boys may be in the bottom.”

Week four was coming and he or Louis had to lose someone.  Simon could lose someone next Sunday.  Well, he could but he just had a feeling that it’d be one of their contestants.

They fell silent for a moment after, Harry looking out his window, too high to see the street. Niall just watched the younger lad.

 “I have something I have to tell you,” he muttered, not even checking to see if Niall was still there. He needed to get this out before he lost his nerve.”

“What is it, Haz?”  And just like that Harry questioned if he really wanted to do this.  Niall would be pissed but he was Niall’s friend.  He couldn’t hate him forever, right?  Or was he over thinking this and Niall wouldn’t give two shits.

“I-I-I kissed Louis, again.  I know it’s not a big deal but after what happened before, I feel ashamed.”  Okay, he couldn’t tell him but this was still a problem.

Niall was silent for a long moment before taking a deep breath.  “Are you sure you don’t have feelings for Louis, still?”

“No.  It’s not like that.  It’s just-”

“He’s attractive and I don’t blame you, Harry.  But doing this is not good for your emotions or head.”

“I’m fine.  I know what I am-”

“It kind of sounds like Louis is messing with your emotions.  He’s been doing that since day one and now he has personal access.”

He was right.  Louis always did that and now he was taking advantage of this opportunity.  Did he want that?  He was giving him the attention that he never had and being new here, he only knew Louis.  Maybe they could be civil.  Yeah, right. 

He felt dirty and used.  Even though he asked—begged for it, but it was Louis.

“It’s your choice, H but be careful with what you do.”

“Why do we spend so much time talking about Louis?  Why do I keep bringing him up?” he sighed, mostly to himself but loud enough for Niall to hear.

“Because he’s a prick every week and you need to vent.  Which I am happy to listen to.”

He wasn’t a prick before the show.  He was kind and cautious when he was talking.  Waring him about Simon which he didn’t get why.  The older never made him feel welcomed but it was like something else was involved with Louis’ opinion on Simon

“So, week three and you have all three.  I’m impressed and I bet a lot of people are too.”

“Thanks.  Hey,” he said, finally remembering something.  “How do you fright with Louis fans?  Your team would be on your ass.”

It was a random question but one he had for months and still couldn’t figure it out.

“Oh, I have another account.  Made a few comments about Louis and you, and I know I have a decent following for being someone else.”

“That’s…  I-I… When did you do that?”

“About year after we became mates.”

“And you’re just telling me this now?  You’ve had this Twitter account for three years and you didn’t think that I would have liked to know?”

“It’s not a big deal.  You should do it too.  I bet my money that Louis and Zayn have one too.  Liam… He seems too gentle to do that.  Though, those are the ones you need to watch.”

Harry smirked.  “I guess.”

“Just wait until next week.  I’m gonna go on a rampage based on who loses someone.”

“How do you know it won’t be Sharon or Simon.”

Niall just shrugged and sat back against his headboard.  “Just have this feeling.  Also, I hate saying this but it’s Louis’ or your time.

And Harry agreed too but because he wasn’t letting himself be optimistic, he was sure he would be the one.  “Just don’t do anything to get your account disabled.”

“Please, I’m not an amateur.  I’ve been in many fights.”

Yeah, and I know how you fight.  You and Louis are vicious.  However, I think you’re worst but that’s because you are behind two accounts.”

“I resent being compared to Tomlinson.”

“Well, don’t come crying if someone reports you.”

“Pff,” Niall smirked as he sat up.  “You honestly don’t think I’ve already thought about that?  I already am ready to start a new one at any minute.”

“You have more than one?”

“No.  But I’m ready.  I know how to work this.  I had an account before I had to delete it and start this one.”

“Jesus.  I’m gonna go.  I have to call my mum, which… Will be tomorrow.”  He groaned as he saw the time.  His mum loved him but he was sure she wouldn’t appreciate being woken up.  It’s been two hours since he got to his room and Louis held him up too. 

“Well, I’ll let you go.  Oh, and I will try to be there next week.  I promise.  If I’m not, feel free to hate me.”

“Sure,” he rolled his eyes.   “Bye, Niall.”

 

 

*****

 

 

Louis was being weird.  Well, Niall and Gemma were too.  So, he thought.  Gemma wasn’t answering her phone and if he had been the one to ignore, she’d wringing him out.  Niall only talked to him for an hour last night and nothing today. 

It was Thursday and he just finished with his boys. Aside from Louis, Gemma and Niall, the boys actually picked their songs with no trouble or second-guessing.  He knew something was going to happen. Maybe one of his boys were going to go on Sunday.  It had to happen.  Even though he didn’t want to lose any of them, it had to happen eventually.

“Styles,” Louis called out.

Harry turned to see the smug smile of the shorter lad.   “Louis.  What-?”

“Ella’s rehearsals,” the singer cut in.  “Finished with your boys?” 

“Yeah?  Well, I have-”

“Feeling confident this week?  Gonna pull a stunt like-?”

“It’s Thursday, Louis.  Not Sunday.  And that wasn’t a stunt.”

Okay, maybe he wasn’t acting any wider than usual but he was talking a lot more.  Actively seeking him out.  Or so it felt.

Louis pursed his lips before smirking.  “Okay.  Fair enough.  I’ll leave you alone.  Have fun with your boys,” he said in a flirty tone before walking away.

Harry wanted to retort but Louis would pull the gay card again or remind Harry that he can’t throw back a used insult.  He’d never win.   Instead, he just decided to leave the studio.

When he walked through his door, he felt like he always did when he realized he didn’t have anyone to talk to.  Niall was still in L.A. and his mum and Gemma were out today.  It’s been years since school and he’s done far better than he thought he would.  He proved to himself that being alone wasn’t the worst.  But it was also hard when he remembered that he was alone in school because so many people decided to target him for their fun.  He got used to being alone and he liked it at times but he now had Niall and sometimes he needed somebody.  Dating never went well.

He was glad he had touring, recording and now the X-Factor to keep him distracted and busy.  He hasn’t thought of Louis all week, which was a miracle since last week he thought of the lad all week and onetime—shamefully—in the shower.  He felt lighter and happy.   It also helped that none of the boys questioned their song choices.

The weeks were flying by.  During the audition and house time, he felt like they dragged.  Well, they had breaks in between each step.  Here, as soon as one performance was done, they were already trying to figure out what they wanted next. 

He was sure that the end would come up without him realizing and the scary thought was that he was sure he’d be the second judge out.  Or the first if he suddenly lost the boy in the next three weeks. He was sure that Louis was betting on his boys being out before his girls.  Or out first. 

He was sure he or Louis would lose someone this week.  They’d been too lucky and it was extremely unlikely that Simon and Sharon would lose everyone before they lost one.

 

 

*****

 

 

Honestly, he was sure he would lose someone tomorrow.  Everything was going smoothly and strangely relaxing.  Louis didn’t seek him out… Yet.  But it was always Sunday night that happened, not Saturday before the show.  Also, the boys were all calm and excited.  With the obvious jitter of nerves.  It was too easy and that’s why he was sure one of the boys would mess up or be eliminated. 

“Styles,” the familiar voice chirped, a little higher than usual.  “Lovely to see you here.”

“The show’s about to start,” Harry deadpanned. 

Louis looked Harry over with a smirk.  “Don’t often see you with your hair up.  I-”

“Yeah, well,” he really didn’t know what to say.  He really just kept it up because his hair was bothering him today.  There times where he considered cutting it but he liked the long hair.  He felt like himself.

“I don’t like it,” Louis said with a pout. “Not able to pull.”

Harry groaned and slapped Louis’ hand when he reached up to pull it down.  Of course, a compliment had to sexual when it came from Louis.

“Stop,” he glared when Louis just chuckled.

“So sensitive.”

Harry was about to retort when two crew members walk over with Sharon and Simon.

Chris had the honour of kicking off the show with “Everybody Wants to Rule the World”. 

He was going to try and coax Chris to change it when he thought about how it’s been used two other times in the past years but he also had to remember that his performance would be different from that girl three years ago.  It also helped that when Chris first sang it, he was brilliant.  Tonight, it was very much the same.

The judges all gave great feedback and Louis’ was surprisingly enthusiastic.  Dynamite Creatures went next with ‘Africa’. Out of all the two groups they had, Harry had to admit they were the best.  Elegance was fine but thought Sweet Surrender was much better.

Laura was the first of Louis girls, doing a fun and bubbly rendition of “Love Is a Battlefield”.

“Well, I have to say, I loved that song for you,” Harry cheered after Sharon.  “I could tell you were having fun up there and just pulled off a brilliant performance.  Well done.” 

The crowd cheered, like always when a contestant got good feedback and would turn when he gave criticism to the next.

“Laura, I have to say I’m very proud of you tonight.  I know you have been having some difficulties with this song.”  Which, was shown on the short interview before her turn.  “But I’m glad you stuck to it.  You smashed it.  Well done.”

Simon went, getting a couple of boos, which was really necessary because, even though he was against Louis, Simon pointed out something that really wasn’t relevant to the singing.

When Zayn came over to do his bit, Harry locked eyes with Louis, who just rolled his eyes.  From Simon’s comment or because he looked, he didn’t know.

Harry ran his fingers through his hair during the break.  He pulled it out before the show started and it wasn’t because of Louis.  He was getting a headache from tying it back too tightly.  Louis gave Harry a once over with a luring smile.  He was tempted to flip the man off but the crowd behind him stopped him.  He didn’t need someone the crowd seeing that.

Angie did “Total Eclipse of the Heart” and butchered it.  Well, that was a little harsh but out for the five performances that went before, she wasn’t the greatest.  Louis and he agreed that it wasn’t her greatest performance and the right song for her.    They both got booed and both smirked at each other. 

Like Harry said: strange week.

Olivia was just before Ash, who was the closer. 

She did “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” and, it wasn’t her best performance they’ve heard from her but Angie and Elegance were still the weakest of tonight.

Simon went first and actually liked her performance more than Ella’s.  He could tell Louis was struggling not to snap at Simon.  He didn’t think it wasn’t a bad comment.  Ella was by far better but usually, the judges just compared the acts’ previous performance and not to each other.

“Well, I have to disagree.  I thought you were both great tonight.  I don’t know what Simon is talking about but I don’t think you can compare two different acts to each other but if we are doing that-”

“Really, Louis?” Simon sneered and Harry had to bit his lip from smirking.  He didn’t know why he was siding with Louis.  Well, the only reason he could think of was they both hated Simon.

“I’m just saying,” Louis shrugged, causing the audience to laugh.  He saw Zayn off to the side laughing with his microphone done.  “Anyway, Sorry Olivia.”

The girl just smiled.  “It’s okay.”

“As I was saying, I thought that was a great performance.  Fantastic song choice and I’m just really proud of you.”

“Olivia, I have to agree that was a great song choice but I didn’t feel like you weren’t that into it the song like we know you can be.  Regardless, it was a great vocal.”

Sharon just said something similar to Harry before Zayn closed her off. 

He hoped Ash smashed his song.  There was always a lot of pressure on the opener and the closer.  He wanted Ash to be remembered in a positive way.  He was great all week and he hated comparing the boys the each other since they were so different, it just was, Ash had a stronger vocal each week.  Though, there was always the chance he could fall.  That they all could and it could be tonight.

Ash began the opening line to “Always Something There to Remind Me” and the audience reacted liked they did for each act and Harry grinned at the boy.

As much as he wanted to say Ash was the best tonight, he wasn’t bias enough, he’d just wouldn’t announce it out loud.  Laura was the best of the night and as much as it pained him, he had to admit Dynamic Creatures was a close second.

When it was his turn to talk, he kept it short and sweet.  Sharon loved it and he assumed Louis thought so.  He just was trying to be critical as well, not giving Harry a complete win.

Louis was waiting for Harry by his dressing room, which was a wired sight since he was usually with Zayn after Saturday shows. 

“Louis,” he nodded, stopping in front of the singer.

“Styles.  How are you?”

“Um… Fine?” he said in more of a question as he opened his door.  “What do want?”

“Well,” Louis declared as he walked past Harry and turned around.  “I just realized that it’s been four weeks and I haven’t asked your actual thoughts on the boys.  Or the girls.”

Harry glared as Louis sat down on the couch, making himself comfortable.

“And why would I tell you?” 

Was he daft or just bored?  Or did he actually wanted to know and thought Harry would share his actual thoughts?

“Because we all know what we say on air is half true.”

Harry pursed his lips.  “Well, maybe I actually think what I say is true.  For my boys,” he added the last part with a smirk.

Louis just grinned and stood up.  “You really are no fun,” Louis sighed.

“Did you actually think I would share my real thoughts with you?  You would just wait for me to spill and then leave.  We aren’t mates.  You hate me.”

Louis was silent for a moment before walking to the door.  “You’re right, Styles.  We aren’t friends.  Good luck tomorrow,” he winked and disappeared through the door.

Just when he thought he had Louis figured out, he turned the switch.  The Louis behind the screen and in person were two different people.  He was still a prick but he was different.

He got to his room just as Niall called.                                               

“So, can I say I think Laura is hot?” the Irish chirped in lieu of a ‘Hello’.

“Fuck off, Niall.   She’s only nineteen.”

“So, she’s legal.”

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose and cursed under his breath.  Apparently loud enough for Niall to hear.

“Okay.  I’ll be serious for a moment.  I have to say Laura was the best tonight.  And Noah wasn’t the best out of the boys.”

“I know.  I have Laura as the best and sadly, Dynamic Creatures was a second.”

“Ew.  Simon?”

“I know but it’s like Louis.  I can’t hate the act because of who their mentor is.”

Niall was silent for a second before agreeing.  “Yeah.  I guess you’re right.  So, who do you think will be in the bottom two?  I say Elegance and Olivia.”

“Really?” Harry furrowed his brows.  He wasn’t sure what it sounded through the telly but Olivia was much better than some of the others.  “I though Elegance and Angie were the weakest.”

“Mm.  I saw you and Louis bonding a couple of times.  What was that about?”

“What?”  They weren’t bonding.  They never exchanged words during the show.

“Louis was smirking at you and you were staring at him.”

Shit.  He could hear the smirk in his mate’s voice.  The camera caught them?  He really wanted to watch it back but his also didn’t.  And he sometimes overexaggerated when Louis was involved to see Harry’s reaction.

“Yeah, well.  He’s been acting weird all week and tonight just proved it to you.”

“It was almost like he was flirting.”

Harry laughed at that.  They weren’t flirting and they’ve done worse than flirting.  He wanted to tell Niall about that night but it was never the right time or he just felt too ashamed.

 

 

 

*****

 

 

He half expected Louis to come to his dressing room before the show started.  He’s been chattier and tonight was the night where one of them would lose someone.  It wasn’t a sure thing but it also wasn’t a sure thing neither would lose anyone tonight.  They were losing someone.  He was sure of it.  He was sure it would be one of his boys.  No matter what it was, he always lost if he was up against Louis.  The fact that he lasted until week four was a fucking miracle.

He was three hours early and hadn’t—luckily—ran into anyone.  He really wanted to see the boys before they started but he needed to calm himself and be ready if he lost someone tonight. 

He really thought Angie deserved to go home tonight but that would leave Sharon out of the competition at only four weeks.  It would be a bit embarrassing but it’s a competition and her acts were against his.  Or Simon.  He’d rather see Simon lose a second act.  Louis wasn’t even a question but last night he couldn’t say any of the girls would be in the bottom.

Weirder things have happened.  Like him being here and being here until week four.  Also, that time he won a Brit award for a music video against Louis.

Suddenly, the room felt stuffy.  He grabbed his coat and headed to the back door.  He shivered as a gust of wind hit him.  It was November this week and the weather was proving that the warm weather was done.

As the door opened, the light illuminated a figured standing to the side.  A cloud of smoke falling from his lips.

Louis looked soft in his black peacoat, hair tousled.  Clearly not ready for tonight.

“Louis,” he greeted when the man turned to see who joined him.

Louis just took his cigarette from his mouth, exhaling another cloud of smoke.  “Styles.  Shouldn’t you be getting ready?

“It’s three hours ‘til the show.”

“Exactly.  Don’t you need at least four hours to tame that main of yours and pick out one of those designer outfits you always wear?  Too good for jeans and joggers?”

“I don’t think tees and joggers are appropriate for the show and stop pretending that those trousers are from some department store.”

Louis just shrugged and took another drag. 

“You’re right.  I bet they just give up on your hair.  You ruining it within the first minute of the show.”  Louis paused, giving hair a once over.  “Keeping your hair down I see.”

“We have a few hours, Louis.  I may decide to pull it up.”  He really wasn’t it.  He only had it up when he was home or at Niall and just relaxing.

“Hmm.  So, who do you think will go?”  Louis took a step closer. 

“Like last night, I’m not telling.”

“I bet it’s one of my girls,” Louis said with a smug smile.

“For once, no.”  And shit.  That was too revealing.  Louis didn’t care or just ignored him but what he said reminded him that he and Louis would never be mates.  Competition or not.

“Aww.  That’s sweet.  Too bad I can’t say the same.”

“Why do I even try?” Harry muttered to himself.  Even though Louis was asking for it, he still couldn’t say if one of the girls should go tonight.  But he should lose before him. 

“You know, tonight is a big deal for us.”

“If it happens.”  He’d be honest.  A judge couldn’t go four weeks without losing an act.  Louis was right but he wasn’t about to agree and Louis would sure say it would be him.  If he wasn’t so focused on the boys, may agree.  Silently.  But he’d agree.  From their track record, Louis dominated in everything.

“It’ll happen.”

“We’ll see.”

Without another word, Harry turned around and pulled the door.  He’d rather spend his time warm and alone.  What he missed was Louis’ frown when Harry walked away after that.

He shrugged his coat off, draping it over his chair before dropping down on the couch.  He was tired.  As much as this week was a dream come true.  Everything fell into place.  What only Niall knew was that easy days still stressed him out.  He was waiting for one of the boys to change their song, for Louis to change or Niall complaining about the completed album not being what he wanted.  Nothing happened and he worked himself up for nothing.  School ruined him.

He wanted a nap but he knew if he fell asleep now that he’d sleep too long and mess up his sleep tonight.

He had two and a half hours to kill and he wondered if Niall was up for a call.  The phone rang three times before chirpy Irish accented voice nearly caused him to lose his hearing.

“Harry!  How are you?”

Harry gritted his teeth and took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself form ripping into his friend.

“Fuck off, Niall!  I need my hearing for tonight!”  Okay, not as calm as he wanted but his ears were ringing now.

“Sorry.  I’m just excited for tonight.  I still say Olivia and Elegance are going to be in the bottom.”

“I hope not.  Louis will be pissed if Olivia is.”  And would probably take it out on him it.  He shivered and he didn’t know if it was because of the possibility of Louis blaming him or rough sex.  He didn’t want to think about that right now.

“Well, Louis needs to be knocked down and he needs to lose to you too.  I’m ready for the twitter fight if Olivia goes home.  However, I really think Elegance will go before Olivia.”

Harry twirled a piece of hair as he thought about tonight, ignoring the fact that Niall was still talking. He wouldn’t say Niall was right about Olivia but things happened where a stronger act went because the judges pulled a deadlock.  He just hoped tonight that didn’t happen.

“And this girl tweeted that-”

“Sorry, what?”

“I-I said—wait!  Were you even listening to me?” Niall asked, sounding offended, which, he kind of had the right to be.”

“Um.  Yeah?  Sorry.”

He could practically feel Niall’s eye-roll. “I was trying to tell you this girl tried to say Ash shouldn’t have gotten to the live shows even though he’s probably the best out of the three.”

Harry just hummed.  He wasn’t about to say who was his favourite.  That wouldn’t be fair.  He now understood why judges said everyone was strong in their own way.  But he also knew why the viewers said the judges had to say that.

“Are you okay, Haz?”

“I am.  Just nervous about tonight.”

“Understandable but I’m never wrong.  Louis’ the one who needs to be nervous.”

Harry chuckled dryly.  He didn’t want to point out that Niall was terrible at predicting things.  He got things wrong more times than right but he decided to humour his friend right now.  He needed a laugh and pretending that Niall was right for the night.

“And what if you are?” he teased, grinning at the scoff from the other end.

“Have I ever steered you wrong, young Harry.”

Umm.  Yeah.  He has on many occasions.  The one time he almost got them arrested stuck out in his mind.

“Because I’m not with you, I’ll be honest.  You have.” 

He was probably being a little harsh but he almost got them arrested.  He didn’t want to call his mum to bail them out or to tell her why he now has a mug shot.  Actually, he’d probably call Gemma.

He didn’t talk to Niall for a week after.

“Your words hurt.”  And Harry could tell by his tone that he wasn’t being serious.  Like he ever was.  Niall didn’t let too much bother him, unlike him.

“It’s true.  I didn’t think my life would be this-”

“Exciting?” the Irish man cut in.  The grin was evident in his voice.

“Not exactly.” 

He also didn’t think his life would be in comparison to Louis Tomlinson but that was a totally different experience.

“I’ll admit, it has been exciting but at times scary.”

Niall laughed loudly.  “Yeah.  You’re not the first person to say that.”

Harry heard voices outside of his door, he paused.  It sounded like Louis and Zayn but he was too far from the door and their voices weren’t loud enough for him to make out what they were saying.

“Shit,” he cursed when he saw he had an hour until the show.  “Sorry I have to go and get-”

“What do you have to do?  You don’t do shit to your hair.  You just-”

“Bye, Niall.”

“Just wait, I’m right-”

He hung up before his friend finished.

Niall was a little right but it was his clothes.  Luckily, he had already picked out his outfit earlier.

He pulled on a black button-up, leaving only the first button with white, flower printed trousers.  He remembered when he first wore something similar, Niall teased him all night.  Twitter was positive.  But Louis was silent.  Despite them seeing each other at the show, he never commented.

Tonight, was different.

“Did you mug a florist?  What’s with the trousers?”

Like the last three weeks, they were the first ones waiting.

“I like them,” he shrugged, looking around the chaos going around them.

He gave Louis a once over.  He had blue trousers with a blue blazer and a white t-shirt.  His hair was swept to the side.

“You look… Nice.”

“Is that supposed to mean something?”  Louis narrowed his eyes as Harry rolled his.

“Fuck off.  Why can’t I say anything nice without me having a hidden meaning?”

He was just telling the truth and apparently no matter if he was a dick or not, Louis was a bitch.

Louis looked like he was going to say something but like clockwork, Simon and Sharon joined them. Just once he wanted one of the conversations to end with the two interrupting them to hear how Louis responded.

 

 

*****

 

Harry felt his heart stop as Zayn called out Olivia’s name.  They went to deadlock, Sharon being the second vote to the girl whereas Harry and Louis teamed up to vote against Elegance.

He knew one of them would lose but he couldn’t believe that he finally beat Louis at something.  All the judges actually.  It was week four and he still had his three boys.

It wasn’t even a minute before Louis stormed through his door.

“I was not the reason you lost tonight,” he rushed out before Louis could get a word in.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen!” he snapped, stalking towards Harry, stopping centimetres from the other man.  “You were supposed to be the first one to lose someone. Not me.  Hell, anyone.”

“Well, that’s pretty arrogant.  Did you ever think that for once people like the boys better than the others?  That I actually know how to guide the boys?”

Louis just shook his head.  “You’re too young.  You had boys older than you.”

“Sorry that my success bothers you.  Jesus, Louis.   We aren’t at the Brits or at an award show.”

“It was supposed to be you.”

“Yeah, well sorry for once I’m better.”

“Ugh, just shut it.”  Louis closed the distance, claiming Harry’s lips in a dominating kiss. 

If Harry wasn’t riding on cloud nine, he would have pushed Louis away.  He loved that Louis was done talking because he didn’t want to acknowledge that Harry had won.  Actually, he still would have let this happen regardless.  Louis was the best he had and as he said, it’s just sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are now getting a little glimpse into Harry's past. The next few chapters will look into Harry's life and also why Louis doesn't like Harry.


	11. Live Show: Week Five

Louis was actually the last one ready for tonight.  He had to make small talk with Simon and there was an underlining meaning when Simon complimented him on the boys so far.  He knew he wasn’t a favourite amongst the judges right now.  He had all three, while Sharon only had one, and Simon and Louis had two each.

He knew this week was his week.  It had to be.  After the surprise of Olivia, anything could happen.

Niall texted him like always and for once, Harry didn’t tell him the songs the boys would be singing.  He didn’t need to get any shit from Niall before he even heard Noah.  Regardless, Niall would have claimed that Harry was falling.  Maybe he was.

Zayn kicked off the night with introductions, introducing the judges and then letting Angie starting off the night with “Good for You”.  All he could say it was better than last week.  She kept in key and it was a strong vocal but there was just something about the performance.  Maybe it was the wrong song choice or the fact that she didn’t really move around on stage.  When he pointed that out, he got booed and Sharon of course disagreed.

Ella went next and then it was Noah’s turn.  Ella chose “Stay” which suited her.  She was only seventeen and it was this big love song about heartbreak.  It was right for her and it showed Louis knew what he was doing. 

“Well, Ella, I actually have to say that was my favourite performance from you.  Great song choice, stage presence and vocal. Well done, love.”

The girl smiled as they went to Sharon.  She would be safe tomorrow.

When Noah took the stage, he was taken back to earlier this week.  It wasn’t a happy agreement but he needed to be a judge.  A mentor.

“Noah, please, just pick one song.  If you aren’t really sure pick two and try which one sounds better to you,” he said, remembering that it’s been three hours and Noah had yet to pick a song.

He just finished with Ash and he hoped he actually helped the lad pick a song.  He didn’t want to come in tomorrow with five other songs.  He had Chris before him and his indecisiveness was an omen for today.  Chris was still between two songs and Harry gave him the task of practicing both tonight and to come back tomorrow with a decision.

“But the fourth one was great.  Now I’m questioning myself.”

Harry sighed and pulled his hair back.  He didn’t want to tug it too harshly like he did when he was frustrated.  He understood the nerves.  But he was here to help them.  Yet, they weren’t listening to him much today. He was trying to be calm and he hated it, but they were testing him today.

It was _expressive yourself_ and they were over thinking it.  Picking the songs, they thought would sound good and not what they really wanted to do.

“Okay, how about this choose three songs you are really considering and then sing them.  We’ll go from there.”

Noah looked at the pages of sheet music he had, which were six.

“I know you want this to be the right song choice but you have to try and pick.  Singing some of them will help.”

“It’s just, I like ‘What About Us’ but I’m feeling like ‘Perfect’ is the song I really want to do.”

Harry almost had a heart attack when Noah said Louis’ “Perfect” and not Ed’s.  What was with the boys picking Louis’ songs?

He had to smile through his grimace.

“If you are worried about singing one of Louis’ songs, Ash already beat you so the pressure is kind of off,” he grinned, trying to lighten the mood.

“But aren’t you kind of… Upset that I want to a Louis song?”

Yes.

“No. Why would I be?”

It kind of would be nice if someone sang one of his songs.  Louis’ been picked for a few series. This one, Ash did his song and Niall’s got picked.  He did have Laura at Louis house but he was sending another one of his boys out with Louis’ song.  What would people think?  Would they realize that Harry was admitting defeat?  He wasn’t.  He was being a good mentor.  Also, he had nothing to surrender to.

“Well, you are… kind of compared to him.”

“Oh”

He actually was waiting for someone to point the irony of Louis and him working together after years of being in this made-up feud.

“Sorry.  I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine,” Harry plastered on a small smile.  “I know what the public and internet say about us.  But right now, I’m here to help you get through this week and if you want to do ‘Perfect’, I’ll support the choice.  Let’s just hear both before we decide,” he said, joking, trying to pass it off as if he were fine.

He wished he could have seen Louis and Niall’s faces when Noah started open line to “Perfect”.  As the second time one of his boys chose Louis’ material instead of someone else’s, he really had to fight to show that it didn’t bother him as much as it did.  Next time though, he may have to put his foot down.

“Noah,” Louis started as Sharon praised him for his energetic performance and the delivery of the song.  In his opinion, he smashed it.  He hated comparing it to Louis’ but he did the song justice.  “I have to say, I think this was one of your best performance.  It sounded like you almost lost it in the middle but you pick yourself back up.  Great job, mate.”

“I know the beginning of this week wasn’t the easiest for you,” Harry started, smiling as Noah nodded along.  “But you just proved to me and everyone else that can rise above the nerves.  I’m very proud of you.”

Dynamic Creatures went after the break and sang “Finesse” and it was a nice to have another upbeat and energetic song.  The boys were jumping around; having a great time and their performance, not including Noah, was his favourite so far.  Ignoring the fact that they were part of Simon’s category.

Chris did “Youngblood” which Harry really tried to get him to change to Charlie Puth’s “The Way I Am”. Both songs were fine choices if Chris had the voice for “Youngblood”.  When he sang the two, his voice was a little flat when sang the 5 Seconds of Summer song.  He just hoped that this performance was better than in rehearsals.

He was good, not the best of the night but better than Angie, which he couldn’t figure out why she was still here. 

Elegance came and he had to apologize to Angie.  They were worse than last week.  Maybe that was a little harsh since he was the only one who thought they were all over the place.  Even Louis praised them.  Either he was deaf or he was playing Simon.

Ash was brilliant with “You Don’t Own”.  Laura did “Back to You”. 

When Zayn closed the show out, Harry didn’t even make to his room before Louis blocked his way.

“Do you have a thing for hearing my songs from your acts?”

And he knew Louis would read too much into the act and try to get a reaction from him. 

“Not really.  If the lads sound good, I don’t care what they sing.  Don’t flatter yourself, Louis.

“Hard not to read into it when this is the second time you chose my song.”

“I didn’t.  They did.  I listened and I thought it was the right song.  I’m here for my boys.  I work with you, but here you’re just a judge.”

He was just glad that he can’t use Twitter.

He hated allowing the boys to sing Louis songs but as he said to Niall after Ash did “Memories”, what he said to Louis, what he said to himself: this wasn’t about him.  He couldn’t band songs because of a personal “feud”.  Louis just saw it as Harry folding.

Louis smirked and stepped forward.  “Tomorrow is your time, Styles.”

“We’ll see.  Elegance was terrible and yet you praised them too highly.”

“Eh, like you said: not like my comments really affect the votes.”

Harry was surprised that he said that.  It was only the fifth week but each week worked them hard that he didn’t remember half the things he said to Louis throughout this journey.

“Since when do you listen?”

“I listen.  I just don’t always acknowledge it.  It’s fun winding you up when you think you’re not listened to.”

Instead of replying, Harry just stepped around Louis.  “Have a nice night.”  Louis didn’t follow or grab his hand like he usually did.  He rushed in before Louis could change his mind.

He pulled his mobile out and dialled Niall’s number.  In lieu of a ‘hello’, Niall just got the point.

“You chose a Tommo song, _again_?” he gasped in disgust.

“Noah did and since when do you call Louis, Tommo?”

“What the hell, Harry?” the lad went on, ignoring Harry’s question.

“Noah sounded great and I want my boys to win.  It was just an unfortunate decision that Noah wanted ‘Perfect’.”

“Still.  Do you think Louis would let any of his girls use your songs?  And it’s a bit of a gamble letting your boys sing a Tomlinson song when he’s a judge.”

“I know it is.  But I can’t deny that Noah sounded better doing that than “What About Us.”

“Are you sure?  Or are you just hoping that Louis will be flattered and fuck you again?”

Harry gasped.  “I really wish I never told you that.  And if anything, I wish for him to see that I’m not the bad guy.  It also wouldn’t have been my choice.  I would have banded the song if I could have.”

“You aren’t,” Niall said as Harry pushed his door open.

“Yeah but Louis clearly doesn’t see that.  I’m just letting the boys pick their songs and I’ll step in if I don’t agree but I’m not dramatic enough to drag the boys into my shit.”  Actually, he was shocked that Noah had commented on his very public disagreements with Louis.  “Anyway, you’re coming tomorrow, for sure?”

“Yes, sir.  I will be there as a shoulder to cry on when you lose someone,” he said as a joke but there was too much truth behind that statement.  Not the crying part.  It was week five and it was time for him to lose someone.”

“It’s that time, isn’t it?”  It was amazing that he lasted this long without losing anyone.  They all to fall eventually except one. 

“I and so many people are proud of you lasting this long.”

“You mean in disbelief?  I know I’m the underdog.”

“You are but you are proving them all wrong.  And you will again when you win,” Niall cheered.  He had too much confidence in Harry that Harry didn’t have in himself.  He was sure he could get his boys close to the end but it was easy for Niall claim when he didn’t see the behind the scenes.  The long night and the “therapy” sessions.  He was happy he had Niall.  He loved talking to Gemma and his mum but Niall knew this world.  Knew what Louis was really like.

“Yeah, well… Hey!” he said, changing the subject.  “Do you want to meet the boys?  I think they would love to meet you.  Noah is a fan of yours.  Went to your last concert.”

“Really?  I already like him.” 

“So, will come early to meet them?  I usually talk to them about an hour before the show but I think with you, we need to do two hours.”

“Oh, fuck you!”

“I’m just saying,” the young singer chuckled.  “You do talk a lot and we need to get ready.  Speaking of getting ready, I need to go.  I’ll call you tomorrow?”

“Sure thing, Haz.  Sleep tight.  Remember I-” 

Harry ended the call before Niall could finish.  His friend did this often and Harry retaliated as such.  It ended up becoming their thing.

When he got into his hotel room.  He changed and got ready for bed.  As much as he wanted to brush Niall’s words away, he knew they were true.  Tomorrow was his time.

 

 

*****

 

 

Louis found himself pacing his room.  It was late and he knew he should be going to bed but it was the elimination part tomorrow, so he knew he didn’t _have_ to be there that early.

Harry was confusing him.  It’s been five weeks since they started.  Since Harry started winning.  Well, you couldn’t really win the show unless you made it to the end but Harry was proving himself.  He beat them all.  He beat him and he was sure Harry was proud of that the most.  It was the fans who voted that way.  Actually, all the awards won were based on how the fans voted.  Here, though, it was also about how well the judges’ mentored each of their acts.

He knew when Noah picked one of his songs, it wasn’t meant to be a big deal.  He overheard Harry’s conversation with Niall.  Well, he assumed he was talking to Horan because Harry snapped at him.  Harry really didn’t want his song but was just that sweet of a mentor that he let the song slide.

He felt bad to admit the boys were brave for singing his songs in the live shows. He didn’t think he’d be able to do that.  He also had to admit that he’d never let the girls sing any of Harry’s songs.  He wanted to say he had a real reason for that choice but he really didn’t. Neither of the girls asked so at this point he didn’t need to think of a reason why the answer would be a no.

When Harry walked away, Zayn just smirked.  “I like him,” he said as they watched Harry snapping to the person on the mobile.

“What?”

“Oh, calm down.  I’m just saying that he’s not what he shows on Twitter.  It’s like a different Harry or-”

“Or the real one,” he finished but by Zayn’s expression, that wasn’t what he was going to say.  Whatever.  They always said that Harry was hiding behind the screen, now Zayn’s opinion has changed?

They were both ignoring the fact that Harry rarely used Twitter.  But his lack of traffic on the app was to ignore Louis’ taunting words and not because he thought he was too good to reply as the article and fans thought.

Zayn hummed.  Honestly, as much as he was on Louis’ side, he didn’t blame Harry for being icy towards Louis.  Louis was asking for it so he should have expected it.

Louis listened until the lad was too far to hear.  He took that as his cue to leave as well.

“Well, I should go.  I need to and sleep if tomorrow will be a surprise like week three.  I need to be prepared.”

“You are so dramatic,” Zayn huffed as he followed Louis into his dressing room.  Louis knew he was but if he told the man that he wanted to be left alone tonight, he’d never leave him alone.  To Zayn, being left alone just meant hanging out in Louis’ room.

He actually liked the Harry online.  He ignored Louis and just took what he was given.  He’d admitted that there were times where he may have taken it too far.  There were times where he looked at Harry at award shows, smiling with Niall and others and wondered what was he really doing. What was he really achieving?  He wasn’t the reason Harry lost or was behind him.  Maybe in earlier years, he didn’t help Harry’s popularity but Liam would just say that was arrogant.  The singer was the only one that refused to pick sides.  Like there were sides.  Well, according to the media and the fans but Liam just didn’t show any interest in it.  He was sure Liam was secretly a Harry fan though.

For hating someone online, it was supposed to be easy when you saw them in real life.  Feelings were supposed to be the same.  Seeing them at award shows, you weren’t supposed to think how cute were when they acted nervously or how their smile was contagious, and you were definitely not supposed to be turned on by them and shag them again when you vowed it would never happen.  All those things, Louis did since that night after the Brits.  He had the now infamous text to hide behind because he was not about come out and admit the feud was taken out of proportion and wrong. 

It was but to Harry, it was very real and Louis spent too many years openly hating the boy to pull back and apologize.   Maybe in the future but the time wasn’t now.

 

 

*****

 

 

“Why are you grinning like you’re high?” Harry asked as they walked through the building.  They were two hours early like he asked and Niall was far too happy for the mood Harry was in.

“I’m excited.  I never met the lads when I was here last time and now, I’m a part of this.”

“You’re just visiting.”

“And I’ve always wanted to see the behind the scenes of this show.”

“Whatever makes you happy.  Maybe you could meet Louis again,” Harry teased as he walked down the hall.

“Fuck that.  Met him enough.  This is different.  I already like Noah.”

“Of course, you do.  And the other lads don’t matter?” Harry smirked and he stopped in front of the door of the boys’ dressing room.

Harry knocked before announcing his presence.

“Harry,” Ash grinned as he opened the door.

“May I come in?”

“Sure!”  He pulled the door open, letting Harry and Niall in.

“I also brought a friend of mine.” 

Niall stopped by Harry and waved.

“You guys remember Niall, right?”

Niall remembered all the boys but at the house, he only saw each lad for about five minutes.

“Nice to see you all again.”

The boys looked shocked that they were meeting Niall Horan again but in a more intimate setting.  A setting where they didn’t have to impress him.

“So, tell me how’s my boy, Haz has been treating you all?” Niall asked, taking a seat between Noah and Ash.

“Niall.  Stop.  Tonight is about them.  I brought you here to visit, not grill them,” he groaned as he took a seat by Chris.  “Sorry, guys.”

“No problem.  But he’d been great,” Ash cheered.

“Can we ask anything about you?” Chris asked.

“Well, that’s why Harry brought me, right?”

“I brought you here to talk but if you want to turn this into an interview, then go ahead.

“What young Harry said.  Hit me.  I have no shame.”

“Umm,” Chris finally said, sounding a little stun that Niall was willing to share with them.  “Are you working on new music?”

“I am.  Actually, just finished and probably going to release it by the end of November.”

“Niall,” Harry whispered.  The release date of an album was really a secret until the general public knew.  When the team decided the record was ready.  Niall was in a fight because he wanted the album out next week but his team wanted it to come out at the end of November.

Niall thought he deserved it after the “stress” his label put him through the past eight months.  Whatever it was, if Niall wanted to, he may just release it himself.

“Really.  There hasn’t been any-”

“Because he’s in a fight over the date,” Harry decided to jump in.  If Niall was talking about it, he may as well join.

“I wanted it next week but it sounds like the end of this month.  A little secret we singers don’t let you guys know it that our teams and record labels can be shit.”

Well, they knew some fans hated their label if they felt the artist was being pressured.  Simon got a lot of hate from Louis’ fans.  Not like the man cared.

“He’s just mad because he has to wait,” Harry said, shooting Niall a warning look.  He wasn’t wrong but he would say it so casually as Niall did.  However, Niall always had the “who cares” attitude.  An attribute he wished he had.

“Hear that, Noah?”

“Oh, shove off, Chris,” Noah growled, blushing harder.  Honestly, the pink hadn’t left the lad’s face when Niall sat beside him.

Niall just smirked and wrapped his hand around the young lad, causing him to squeak. 

“So, how are all feeling?  I know it might be a dumb question but do you have any big worries?

All the boys looked around before Chris broke the silence.

  “I don’t think last nights was my best.  I mean, we all want to win but being realistic all of can’t win and I feel like tonight’s my night.”

Harry frowned.  He hated when he thought the same thing as his boys.  Chris wasn’t great last night, though.  That was the difference right now but Harry didn’t want to say anything cliché.

“I understand that,” Niall said, saving Harry.  “You just have a feeling when something’s not right and I’ve always trusted that feeling even if it’s something you didn’t want to acknowledge.”

“It’s also because this show is a big deal for some of us,” Noah chimed in.

Niall and Harry exchanged looks.  Aside from Louis, this was also a big reason why he was hesitant about taking this job.  He and Niall just went back to their lives of recording and performing music, parties and in Louis and Niall’s case, fancy cars and houses. 

“Well, I know this is shit advice but just take it one week at a time and enjoy it.”

“That’s what Harry always says,” Chris said with a soft smile.

“And he’s right.  So, we only have a bit of time left, tell me a bit about yourselves.”

 

 

*****

 

 

Harry and Niall were walking out of the boys’ room and into Harry’s so he could get ready.

“Fantastic group you have.  Hate that you have to lose someone soon.”

“I know.  And I just feel like it’ll be tonight.  Chris might be sensing it.”

“Watch it be Noah or Sharon’s girl.”

“I’m hoping,” he said before stripping down to his pants to change

He chose tight black trousers with a silk white button down.  He left two buttons and rolled the sleeves up to his elbows.

“Wow,” Niall exclaimed as Harry straightened out his shirt.  “Never seen you in something so… Normal?  Straight maybe is the better word.  Did they say anything to you?”

“No,” the younger lad looked down, furrowing his brows.  He just felt like going simple tonight.  Apparently, that was an abnormality for him. Who knew?  “Why?”

“Just… it’s a different look.  Twenty-year-old Harry is back!”

Instead of commenting, Harry just walked to the door.  “I’m going.  You can stay here or watch from backstage.”

Niall stopped him when he saw Louis arguing with Simon.

“I-”

“I don’t want to hear what you want to say.” 

They couldn’t hear what they were saying but by Louis’ scowl and Simon’s pursed lips, the older man was pissing Louis off.

“You don’t even know what I’m going to say,” the lad argued.

Maybe he didn’t but Louis was involved and Niall was here so he knew what he was about to say wasn’t anything he wanted to hear before he went out.

“I was just going to say he looks so… Normal.  What I wouldn’t have expected.”

Harry rolled his eyes.  He knew Niall would have said something like that.  He was expecting it.  Of course, Niall would comment on Louis when he first saw him but this was nothing.  Everyone knew Simon and Louis argued and hated each other.  Or, everyone knew Louis hated Simon but this argument sounded different than what they showed on the show. Probably what they were really like when the public wasn’t watching

“I know, Niall.”

He looked as Louis taking a step towards Simon.

“Are they arguing again?” Sharon sighed as she stopped by Niall.

“Uh, yes.”  He didn’t know what it was about but Simon looked pleased that Louis was getting pissed.

“They really need to stop.”

“I don’t think they ever will,” Niall chimed in.

Harry nodded in agreement.  He didn’t think that after seven years; Simon and he would come to an agreement.

He honestly didn’t know what they could be arguing about.  Louis wasn’t under his label anymore.  He wasn’t in charge if Louis had to stunt.  He didn’t since he was out basically at the beginning of his career.  He gave Simon two series.

He was the one who was stuck. He had a “girlfriend” ever three months or so. Whenever he brought up the possibility of coming out, they always said it was too early in his career.  The fans weren’t ready and that he could lose a lot of fans.  A very homophobic reason if you asked him.  He wanted to argue that Louis came out as soon as he started and he was just fine.  He was _ahead_ of him for God’s sake.  He didn’t point that out because he wasn’t about to mention his “rival” when he was comparing his team to Louis’ old one.

“Harry,” Sharon’s voice cut through his thoughts.  “We’re going on.”

“Shit. I got to go,” he said and followed Sharon

“Good luck,” Niall called as Harry joined the other judges.

“Nice of you to see you,” Louis smirked.

Harry just looked at the shorter lad but didn’t say anything.  He was also saved by a crew member ushering them out to start the show.

 

 

*****

 

Zayn was interviewing Cheryl who just performed.  Asking about a new album and who she was rooting for.  Harry kind of zoned out when she said, Laura.  It was a little strange seeing her on stage when she was a judge last year and he had replaced her.

Before long, they were all walking out, Zayn doing his usual speech before he read the names but as much as he wanted to believe he would end this night with all three of the boys, the feeling like he was going to lose wouldn’t leave.  He wondered if Louis felt like this last year.  Olivia was a surprise so that was a no.  He just wished Louis and he were mates and he could ask the lad what it was like last year.

He wondered what Niall was thinking right now.  They saw each other when all the judges went backstage.   Niall gave them a large smile and thumbs up and then they were in front of the audience.

“So, let’s begin,” Zayn smiled as he lifted the envelope.  “The first act safe and will be singing here next week is… Noah.”

Noah gasped, looking shocked as Harry pulled him in for a hug.

“So proud of you,” Harry said as he rubbed his back before he went to hug the other two boys.

“The next act safe this week is, Elegance.”

Harry wanted to roll his eyes, as he assumed Louis wanted to but he couldn’t deny that they didn’t deserve to be safe.

Ella got the honour of getting the third spot and Louis looked so thrilled.

“The fourth act safe and returning next week is… Ash.”

“Oh my God,” Ash cheered and Harry laughed, giving a hug. 

“Well done, Ash.”

Chris was starting to shake his leg a little now.  Four left and only two spots for next week.  The last two, they would have to fight.

“The next that will be her next week to sing is… Laura.”

Harry clapped as the rest of the judges did but he knew they were all thinking the same thing: their act could go tonight.  Simon was also probably cursing Louis as he walked down to the table.

“The final act joining us next week is… Dynamic Creatures.”

Harry felt his heart stop and he was sure Chris was feeling the same thing.  This was Angie’s second week, and Harry was sure she would survive this time too.

If he was honest, he didn’t really know what to say to Chris to make it better.  All he could is comfort him.

Sharon was doing the same for Angie but Chris looked worse than the woman.

“You’ll do fine.  I’m proud of you no matter what.”

“Thanks, Harry.”

Chris smiled before he was ushered away and Harry went back to his seat.  He and Louis made eye contact but for the first time, Louis didn’t smirk.  It didn’t mean anything though.

One look of sympathy didn’t excuse four years of tweets and mocking interviews.

Angie sang “Isn’t She Lovely” and Chis chose “Closer” and it was almost even.  It was really a sing-off and he knew it would just be luck if Chris stayed.  Sharon was sure to back Angie up but Simon was sure to go against him.  Louis would be the deciding vote.

“Simon, we’re coming to you first. What is the name of the act you are going to send home?”

Simon let out a deep breath like it was a tough decision. He knew it and Niall knew it.  Louis did as well.

“I just want to say this was a great sing-off.  You both we great but I feel like Angie, you sang like you wanted it more.  So, the act I’m going to send home is, Chris.”

There were a few boos before Zayn came to Harry.  It was obvious who he was going to pick but he wanted to give a deeper reason.

“First, I want to say that Simon was right, this was a real sing-off and as great as you two were, I have to stay with Chris.   I’m sorry but I have to send Angie home.  Sorry.”

Sharon just said pretty much what he said but voting against Chris instead.

“Louis, it’s up to you.  If you say, Chris, he’ll be sent home.  If you say, Angie, then we’ll-”

“I know, Zayn.  Ugh.  I hate this,” Louis sighed, loud enough for the mic to pick it up.  “Angie, I have to say, you’ve had a few bad weeks but this performance redeemed you.  Chris, you have been stellar each week but I felt like last night wasn’t your best.   And with this performance, I felt Angie showed she wanted it more.  So, I am really sorry to do this but the act I’m sending home is Chris.”

Chris just nodded and smiled softly as Zayn wrapped his arm around him.  Harry hurried up the stage to huge Chris before Zayn asked the boy on his experience here.

“Honestly, I’m sad to go but I’m very happy with myself.  I didn’t think I would even make it this far.  Also, thank you, Harry, for everything you have done for me.”

Zayn let Harry talk next and he fought the urge to look at Louis.  To Louis’ credit, he did sound genuinely sorry saying Chris name but he was a good actor and this was a competition.

“Well, obviously I’m gutted.  I’m going to miss you but you have made me so proud.”

They hugged again before they walked off as Zayn closed the show out.

Niall was right there when Chris and Harry left the stage.

“I’m so sorry, mate,” the Irish lad smiled sadly.  The other boys joined, all hugging the lad.   “I’m going to let you all have a moment,” he whispered to Harry as he walked off.

He stayed with the boys for a half-hour before leaving for his room.

“Styles!”

Harry just groaned and stopped in front of Louis’s room.

“What do want?”

Louis grabbed his arm, pulling him into his room.

“So, you finally have fallen,” Louis pursed his lips, almost like he didn’t exactly know how to play this game tonight.

“Still before you, though,” the younger lad smirked.  “And I knew it had to happen.  I don’t want to talk about this.”

Just because he didn’t want to talk, didn’t mean he was okay with this.  He just didn’t want Louis to get his fun.  Louis screwed him over.   Well, probably Simon but Louis had to know that Chris had better weeks than Angie. 

“Mature of you, Styles.  I thought you’d-”

“I’m twenty-three, not three.   I knew what I signed up for.  It is what is.   And I am not quoting your stupid tattoo,” he rushed out before Louis could say anything.  “You decided to get a cliché quote tattooed on you.”

“Whatever.  I just thought I’d try to be nice but you clearly don’t want my comfort.”

“What comfort?  It’s been four years and you just… I don’t know.  Sex is not comfort and I’m not-”

“I wasn’t offering.  You just-”

“Because it’s what we’ve been doing for weeks and I’m not about to have sex with you while Niall is here,” he snapped. 

Louis smirked.  “We can be fast.”  Louis walked Harry back until his back hit the wall by the door. 

Harry knew Louis was just teasing but a shameful part of him wanted to test that theory.  The older man bit his lip, trying to fight a smile.  He had a feeling the Louis knew what he was thinking.

“Horan isn’t here and Zayn is probably calling Liam, which means, it’s just us.”  He pressed his hips to Harry’s, keeping eye contact the entire time.

Didn’t mean they were safe.  Zayn could come any moment and Niall could come looking for him but he was having a hard time focusing when Louis rutted against him.

“Don’t worry, princess, we’re safe.”

Harry wanted to push Louis away.  How hard was it to say his _name_?  He wouldn’t deny that in the heat of the moment it turned him own but outside of the room, it pissed him off.

“I’ll be quick.”

Harry jumped when a hand moved to his crotch and began rubbing.  “Lo-Louis-” he cut himself off.  He really didn’t know what he wanted to say.  His brain was going fuzzy and all he could do nothing but moan and pull Louis in for a kiss.  It was rough before they fell into passion.

“Just relax,” Louis said when he pulled back.  He sank to his knees, pulling at Harry’s trousers.

“Wait.   Wh-” he startled.  It wasn’t that he didn’t want this.  He did.  He just wasn’t expecting _this_. It was just a blowjob and it was only week five but this was new.

“Just relax-” he paused like he was going to say Harry’s name but just simply smiled up at him.  “Tell me to stop and I will.”

Harry’s head was screaming for him to leave and that was only because Niall was here.  As mental as that logic was, it made sense to Harry.  He went months without sex and now he had a chance to have it each week, he wasn’t about to pass that up.  The downside was, it was Louis.  His moral compass was pointed South at the thought of how he could turn Louis on and how he made the man make the first move.  It was a proud moment for him.  A fucked-up moment but proud at the same time.

“Ju-just—I don’t know.  Do something.”  He hated how he was pleading when Louis hasn’t even done anything.

Louis chuckled and pulled his trousers and pants, biting his lip at the sight before him.  Harry was gripping his thighs and was half-hard.  He wrapped his hand around Harry’s cock.  “Just relax, Styles.  You’re tense and this is supposed be a distraction.”

Harry was about to ask what Louis was on about but words cut off into a whine when the man before him stroked him.

After what felt like hours of Louis teasing the young man but was really on minutes, Harry snapped.  He wanted more.  Needed more.  He wanted the man’s mouth.  Now.

“Lou, please, do something.”  He didn’t care how pleading his voice sounded.  Louis was being a dick and teasing until he was sure he would go insane if Louis didn’t do more.

Louis just chuckled.  “So impatient.”

“Not impatient.  You’re taking forever and Zayn might come-of fuck!” he cried when the man swallowed him down, bobbing at an annoyingly slow pace.

The reminder of Zayn reminded Louis that he needed to hurry.  He was sure Zayn knew he had Harry in here but Harry talked to the boys longer than he was expecting and he was worried Zayn would think it was safe.  He didn’t need him to see Harry or else the boy would freak out.  Or worse, Niall.  He was sure Harry would never live it down and would never forgive him.  Actually, Harry already hated him so this wouldn’t change anything.

“Lou…” Harry trailed off, not realizing the overuse of the nickname.

Louis just hummed, sending vibrations through the whining lad.  He had a tight grip on Louis’ head, trying not to thrust.  He didn’t know how to handle this.  He did this to Louis a few weeks ago but it was to pay him back for Noah, this felt real.

“Louis,” he moaned softly, feeling the tightness in his stomach build.  He wondered when a blowjob could make him cum so quickly.

Though they only had a limited amount of time and it was a massive turn on to have Louis on his knees for _him._

Yeah, it really wasn’t a wonder.

Louis pulled back, running his tongue over the tip before wrapping his lips around the head. 

Louis smiled inwardly when he felt one of Harry’s hands fall to grip his own thighs.  He could tell Harry was holding back and he wanted nothing more than to make him lose control but they had to be quick and he couldn’t drag this out like he wanted to.

“F-uck,” Harry groaned when he let his release build.  “Lou-is, I-I’m gonna-”

The kneeling man picked up speed, swirling his tongue.   He was a little surprised with how quickly Harry came but he smiled as he took in the panting man, struggling to keep standing.

“Shit,” Harry groaned, slightly out of breath but it hit him hard with what they had just done.  With Niall here and Zayn around.

The man surged forward, claiming Harry’s lips in a hard kiss.  When he pulled back, he looked like he was about to say something but a knock brought Harry and Louis back to earth.

“Lou?  You in there?  I’m ready to go.”

For the first time in years or ever really, Harry saw Louis Tomlinson speechless.  It really wasn’t that big of a deal.  Though, he didn’t know if it was because of what they just did or the fact that Zayn was right outside and he didn’t want to be caught with Harry.  Like he wanted to be caught either.

“I’ll be right there,” he called out instead of opening the door.

Harry wondered if anyone knew about them.  It was only a few times but it was something Louis would brag about.  Like beating Harry in the charts and award shows. He got Harry Styles in his bed.

“I have to go.  I’ll see you next week.”

The younger lad pulled his trousers up, feeling a little embarrassed that Zayn was outside and he had to calm down before he found Niall.

“Wait five minutes before leaving.”

Harry nodded, hugging himself.  He didn’t know why he felt embarrassed and guilty when none of their friends knew.

He startled when a firm hand wrapped around his elbow.  He looked up, finding Louis smiling softly as he did all those years ago.

“Angie really should have gone,” was the all he said before he opened the door only enough to slip through.

“You know, you could have left and called,” Louis said when they far enough from his room.  He felt a little guilty when Zayn just rolled his eyes.

“I could have but you were in there for over an hour.”

“Yeah and Harry was with the boys for about forty minutes.”

His mind went back to Harry in his room, holding himself as he shifted on his feet while biting his lip like the first time they meet.

Even though Harry was in his twenties, he still could look like the teenager that was probably having a heart attack that night.

He hasn’t thought of that night in over a year and now, he thought about that night and all the other nights where they would meet and Harry would avoid him.

“Hey, where did Liam go?” Louis decided to say, which by the other lad’s face, was probably the wrong thing to say.  “What?”

“Did fucking Harry make you daft?  Liam didn’t come tonight.”

“Oh.  Right.” 

He now remembered how pissed Zayn was when Liam got a call from his mates from home who were visiting London and decided to cancel on them.  He didn’t see it as a big deal.  They had five more weeks.  Liam’s mates were only here for the week.

He really didn’t really concentrate on anything after his argument with Simon.  It was pointless and just a repeat of what he said before.  Well, not exactly.  Simon still had it out for him.  For winning against him and leaving his ladle.  He knew he should have left but as everyone around him would say, he owed the X-Factor.  He did but he’s regretting this second year.

He wouldn’t put it past Simon to rig the results and end it with a Simon and Louis face-off again or get his acts out before the finals.  He didn’t want to think about the man until he had to

“You know, Liam has people he spends his time with that’s not you.”

Zayn scowled and then ran a hand through his hair.  “I know.  I know.  I just… He was on tour and now I’m-”

“He’s also here to see you and lives with you.”

Zayn stopped, turning to Louis.  “Since when did you get so-”

“Do not finish that sentence.”

Zayn grinned.  “I won’t but know I’m right.”

“Yeah.”

He turned around, realizing it was probably more than five minutes and he needed to get Zayn out of here.

 

 

*****

 

Harry was pacing the length of Louis’ room, waiting for the time to expire.  It felt weird being in Louis’ room without the man and allowed.

As much as their time was just about lust and releasing emotions, this time felt like Louis was comforting him.  It was about him and his smile was so sincere, and his arm still burned were Louis touched him.  If the was even possible.

Push his hands through his hair, he wished he could stay here longer but he was sure Niall would get impatient and go looking for him, and he didn’t need Niall catching him coming out of Louis’ room.

He decided to step outside for a moment.  He shivered as a cold blast of wind blew through him.  He didn’t look at himself in the mirror but he was sure the wind would mask any evidence of what he just did.

He didn’t know how long he was gone but by Niall’s pissed off face and language, it was a while.

“Where the hell have you been?  I left you to have a moment alone with the boys and it’s been almost two hours!”

Harry gulped as he looked to the clock on his wall.  He rolled his eyes and pursed his lips.

“Stop exaggerating.  It was only and an hour and a half.”

“Still.  What the hell were guys talking about?”

Harry just walked to the closet and pulled his coat out.  “If you were bored then you could have gone home.  And I stepped outside to clear my head.”

That was why he really didn’t want to see Louis.  He didn’t regret it but asides from keeping a secret from Niall when they talked, it put him in a sticky position now.

“Oh, okay.  I mean, this must have been a rough night for you.  I bet you needed time.  Sorry”

Bless Niall.  Also, as shitty as it was to think that, he had mourning the loss of Chris to fall back on.  Not that he wasn’t sad, he was but it helped keep Niall from being suspicious. 

“Cheers.  But I’m amazed I kept all my boys this far.  It still hurts.  It means one of there dreams have ended.”

“They have to know, H.  They have to know they have as much of a chance as losing as they do winning.”

Harry knew he was right.  He knew.  They all knew.  It was just harder because he knew what it felt like to lose.  Louis knew too but not that often.  He won this show.  It was Harry’ job to work harder to be there for Ash and Noah, to help them get to the end. 

“Yeah.  It just hit a little because I finally lost someone after five weeks.  Anyway, do you want to come back to mine?” 

He grabbed his bag and walked to the door, waiting for Niall to follow.

“Sorry, can’t.  I have to meet with my team tomorrow.  Promo shit and all that.”

“Mmm.  Don’t miss that right now.”

“Really?  You’d rather this-” he waved his hands around “-than a tour?”

Actually, touring really wasn’t that bad.  The X-Factor wasn’t that bad anymore.  Well, bearable.  He still hated Louis but they established an arrangement and he felt like he was doing the lads right.

“To be honest, it really can’t be compared.  But I like the change.”

They stopped in front of Niall’s car.  It had begun to rain so they kept the hug short and rushed to their own cars.

“I’ll call tomorrow,” Niall called before diving away.  Harry just waved his hand before getting into his car, starting the short drive to the hotel.

He had a long and hot shower, letting the stress of tonight’s event melt away. 

He didn’t feel as tired as he should have today.  He lost Chris but he felt the calmest he has since Barcelona.  He didn’t want to think too much and too deep for a meaning.  He did that in school when someone was nice to him—which was rare—and his mum and Gemma always told him not to read too much into it.  The X-Factor wasn’t anything to read too much into things.  Louis, he was the exception but lately, it was almost like Louis wanted to be mates—friendly was the better term.

This week he found that he talked to Louis more than he’s ever done in the four years they’ve known each other.

He almost shared how annoyed he was at Chris for not listening to him about his song choice.  It wasn’t that he hated the song but it wasn’t the song for Chris that week.

He just told Louis how Ash was excited and Louis just told him how nervous Ella was.  Apparently, she and Noah talked a lot at the house, bonding over the fact that they were the youngest.  As much as it should bother him that Louis and his acts were hanging out, alone, he knew that was how the house worked.  Also, they were still running against each other and what Harry said earlier was true: what he had with Louis should affect their acts.

What shocked him was on Friday, during the rehearsals, Louis stayed after the girls left and talked to the lads who, of course, asked what it was like being back as a judge and what he felt when he got this far.

He jokingly asked Louis when walked away from the boys but he just smirked and told him to ask Ash.

Fuck that.

He knew Ash and Noah were the biggest Louis fans out of the three of the boys, which made sense since they were the two who picked Louis’ songs.

Harry didn’t hold it against them.  It wasn’t realistic for him to get boys who weren’t Louis’ fan or at least listened to his music.  He was just happy they all knew him and knew some of _his_ stuff.  But he had a feeling that Chris went home and listened to all his music when he found out he was going to be his mentor.

The weirdest interaction was they ran into each other on Wednesday in-between rehearsals.

“How did you do it?”

Harry looked up from his mobile, blinking at Louis, who he thought had already left when Ella walked out of the studio.

“Sorry?”

“Ella has changed her song like three times and now you are used to the boys switching on you.  They are open when they do.”

“Didn’t you go through with this last year?  I highly doubt that none of your acts didn’t toss around different song ideas throughout the week.”

“They did but not like this.  Yesterday she changed her song twice and today it was three new songs.”

“Mmm.”   He smiled when Louis ran his hand through his hair.  “New part of the job.”

He could tell Louis was fighting with himself.  He was sure the lad wasn’t sure what he wanted to say or if he just wanted to leave.  His time was over and he really didn’t have a reason to stay.

To his surprise, he found that Louis still stayed.  He felt the urge to reassure Louis that these feeling were fine. Maybe not as common for the lad but everyone dealt with them eventually.

After that, he looked down at his watch, realizing that he was going to be late if he didn’t leave now.

“Hey, umm, I have to go,” he rushed out.  He didn’t know if Louis was going to let him go without an insult or not.  To his surprise, Louis just smirked and nodded.

“Right. Good luck with the lads.”

Harry just nodded and walked around the man.

“Oh, hey,” Louis called out, stopping Harry.  The younger man muffled a groan.  He knew it was too good to be true.  “See you on Saturday, Curly.”

Harry studied Louis, waiting for more.  A jibe or a backhanded compliment but all Louis did was give him a soft smile and walked off without waiting for a reply.

He shivered under the spray but not because of the water.  He could get the day out of his head.  The smile that hasn’t appeared in years.

He knew after Louis went against him tonight, he didn’t think of the conversation they had in the hallway during the week.  It wasn’t the first time they talked but this was the longest and Louis actually asked _him_ for advice.

It scared him and along with the sex arrangement, he wasn’t telling Niall that he was slipping and feeling something for Louis again.  Or maybe the old feelings were just coming back to the surface.  Louis was a big part in his coming out and he knew he should never credit celebrities to that power but watching Louis on the telly was his escape.

He also didn’t know if he actually was feeling things again for real or was it the illusion of what he wanted years ago.

When the water started running cold, he turned the water off and a got out of the shower.  He towelled off, wrapping his hair in a towel.

He changed into his pyjamas and tied his hair in a bun before he slipped under the covers.  His phone chimed but he was relaxed and ready to sleepy to get into anything Gemma or Niall wanted.

He closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep.

 

 

*****

Louis was sat across Zayn in his room, not really sure why his mate was still here.  Liam texted, asking if he wanted to join him.

“So, Harry lost Chris,” Zayn started after a long stretch of silence.  “Was he pissed?”

“No.”

“No?  So, no fucking?” Zayn teased, earned an unimpressed expression.

“Yeah, he knew it was coming and it sounded like Chris was okay.  Well, as okay as you can be when you are eliminated.

“So, are you going to lighten up on the lad?”

“He’s ahead of me,”

They fell silent after that.  Louis let his mind wander to Harry.  Well, not like that.  He just found that this week was easier to talk to the boy than any other week.  It was weird and strangely relaxing.  In a way.

Louis paused for a moment.  Harry really didn’t know where this was going. He was talking to Louis but he didn’t assume Harry would actually stop and talk. And not about their past or the show.  Or, well, not about how he was sure his girls would beat Harry’s boys.  He didn’t realize how much Simon could distract him. 

He remembered how Harry stopped to talk to him instead of walking off.

As he looked at Harry, his mind was invaded with the thought that haunted him since he realized that Harry had joined the panel.

Of course, he wanted to beat Harry.  It would be the ultimate win.  He already beat Simon and beating Harry would mean he beat Simon too and that’s what he wanted.

He looked up to Harry, he wasn’t sure what Harry would say to keep the conversation going, but certainly not this.

“Look, as much as we hate each other, we are both feeling the same thing.  We want what’s best for our acts and get them to the end.  You’re allowed to doubt yourself.  I always do.”

Louis wasn’t sure if the last part was a slip or if Harry meant to say it.  By the lad’s tight smile, he meant it.  Probably regretting it but kept his eyes on him.

Harry shifted under Louis’ gaze.  It wasn’t intense.  He was just watching him, almost like he was waiting for Harry to make the next move.

It was almost like they were waiting for the other to say something first to stop this awkward silence and staring.

Harry shifted on his feet, playing with his fingers and biting his lip.  It wasn’t the firs time Harry did this and probably wouldn’t be the last time.  He did that a lot early on when Louis met him.  Before the Tweet, he understood why Harry may have been nervous but after, he was sure Harry hated him and was worried about what he would do that Louis would latch on to.

He found himself remembering that night at the Brits when he first met Harry.  Before they were here.  He was talking to Perrie, whining about how he was only there because Simon forced him.

“I swear, as soon as I can leave, I’m leaving.  Liam’s label is interested.”

Perrie just rolled her eyes, having heard this complaint more than once.  “I know it shucks but-”

“You’re straight, you don’t get it.”  It wasn’t the only reason he and Simon butted heads but it was a big one.

“Okay,” the woman smirked.

Louis noticed a boy stopping behind Perrie but didn’t say anting.  He recognized Harry but Perrie was still talking, pulling his focus back on her.

“But, seriously, you have it good.”

He smirked, looking her up and down.  “Say that when you have to put out an album and go on tour all in the same year.  I’m exhausted.”

“It’s only been three years.”

“Yeah, says the girl whose group that doesn’t have to multitask with music.”

“Yeah, well, that’s how they remember that you still exist,” she joked, pulling a laugh from Louis.

“Well, then I don’t want to go on hiatus if that’s the case.”

The two laughed and hugged.  They knew that it was a joke.  He wanted to go on hiatus at some point but he still had two years before he could leave and he wanted to take a break before he released new music.

“I’ll talk to you later,” Perrie said when she pulled away.

He turned to Harry, who introduced himself as such.

“I know.  I’m Louis.  You supposed to be a big thing,” he said, flirting a little. He couldn’t help it.  Harry was cute.

The boy looked shocked that he knew him.  How could he not?  Harry Styles was the next big thing, According, to the media but he couldn’t deny that he was competition. 

In the three years, there were acts that rivalry him but he always still managed to be on top.  With Harry, he could be a challenge. In a good way.  It was fun to have some friendly competition.

When he woke up later that night, in his room, with Harry sleeping next to him, he realized what he had done.   Well, it wasn’t a big deal but he knew Simon and his team would be pissed if he started anything with the lad.

He had to laugh at that.  It was only a one-night stand.  Nothing more.

His phone buzzed on the nightstand.  He groaned when he saw the time wanting to kill Zayn for waking him up at three in the morning.  He was exhausted and wanted to sleep until he _had_ to leave.

He scoffed at Zayn’s text, which didn’t warrant the three a.m. wake up call.

He winced when he saw more than on missed text from Zayn.

_Where the fuck are you?_

_Liam asked me if I have seen you.  Obviously not since I’m not there!  Seriously, communicate with each other better!!!_

_Louis!  Liam is pissed!  You said that you would meet up but you apparently fucked off._

Louis chuckled a little too loudly in the quiet room.  He held his breath as he looked to Harry who was still asleep.

Zayn was just yelling at him and not actually concerned for his safety.  Not that was a worry but Zayn was basically yelling through text that he hated him.  And finally, the one that sent two minutes ago.

_I am assuming you are in your room and not in a ditch.  I hope you are just pissed and not being a wanker and fucking some bloke!_

He was a little offended with that one.  Mainly because he was woken up.  Also, Zayn was a dick when Liam worried because until whatever he was freaking out about was fixed, Zayn stayed annoyed.

_I’m fine.  Just got bored and forgot that I was going to meet Liam.  CALM DOWN!_

_He placed his phone on the table before getting up, looking for his clothes, which was a struggled in the dark._

He knew he was a dick when he stood in front of Harry, who was still asleep. He clutched his bag, hesitant to do what he was about to do—what he always did when he shagged a bloke.

He reached out, brushing the hair that fell over his face.  He felt sick when he saw how innocent and young, he looked when he slept.

He pulled back like he was burnt and rushed out of the room. 

He knew he was playing with fire when he texted Zayn, asking him to come to get him. It was too early for the car his team had arranged and he didn’t want to go back upstairs.

He passed the time by scrolling through Twitter, smiled at what his fans had tweeted.  He paused when he stumbled on a tweet about Harry and Lilla.

_With all the hype for Harry Styles, I didn’t think Lila Cross would win._

The tweet was an hour old but he remembered about all the hype behind Harry’s album and new tour and Louis only beat his debut album by thousands.  He thought he was finally falling back but Harry lost.

He could explain or defend what he did but he screenshotted the results and opened his Twitter page.

He was too tired to fully realize what he had done until hours later but it was too late. His fans were wondering what was going on and there was an article question if this was a new feud.  Either way, he was fucked.

The Brits were won.  Harry deserved the award.  He climbed the charts, following behind Louis.  Lila was still active but she only had moderate success.

“Louis!”

The man jumped, glaring at Zayn when he realized he was still in his room.

“What?’

“Don’t ‘what’ me.  I called you five times.  You were the one who spaced out.  Where’d you go?”

Louis mulled over the idea of sharing, but he didn’t feel like revisiting the past for a second time tonight.

“Just thinking of next week.”

“Really?” the other man asked, not sounding convinced.  He knew Louis and knew when he was lying.  He also knew that he couldn’t push him.

“Yes.  And why are you still here?”

The younger man just rolled his eyes.  It’s Monday, not Friday.”

For you.  I’m meeting the girls at nine and It’s almost twelve; I need to sleep.”

“Okay.  Jeez.  It’s not like we haven’t slept in the same room before.”

“Yeah,” he agreed but he wanted his alone time tonight.  “Not tonight.”

“Okay.  I know when I’m not wanted.”  Zayn stood up, clasping Louis on the shoulder.  “Have a good night, Louis.”

Louis waved as his mate left the room.

He sighed, day’s events were taking a toll on him and now he couldn’t get Harry out of his head.  It’s been like that all week and it made it worst with the flashback he just experienced.

He was sure what he felt for Harry and how they navigated around each other but since the start, since spending more time with Harry, he was getting confused.  It was just sex.  It was just sex from the beginning but was it really now?

All he knew was right now, he was tired and was going to bed before he left his thoughts run wild.


	12. Live Show: Week Six & Seven

“Zayn is pissing me the fuck off,” Louis growled as he stormed through Harry’s room

“Jesus fuck!” Harry gasped, ripping off his glasses as his door slammed against his wall.  The one time he decided to wear his glasses before the show, Louis had found him before he took them off. 

The point of arriving four hours early was to avoid Louis, not to spend more time with him, which really didn’t happen.  Unless it was Sunday night or they ran into each other in the studios during rehearsals.  Still, they didn’t talk long and Louis didn’t actively seek him out.  So, he told himself.

Louis just went over to the couch, falling down in a dramatic thump.

Harry furrowed his brow as he turned around.  “Zayn?”

“Zany.  Zayn Malik.  My best mate.  The host of this shit.  Fucking Liam.  Remember?  Pay attention, Curly.”

The lad rolled his eyes as he took a seat on his vanity chair.  “I know who Zayn is.  Not likely to forget since you two are attached to the hip.”

“Whatever.”

They were silent for a moment before Harry sighed in frustration. “So, is that why you’re here?  Can’t talk to Zayn so you decided to bug me?”

The fact that they had a good last week didn’t mean this week would be the same.  It wasn’t.  It was Saturday and they only ran into each other on Wednesday. 

“Liam’s here and taking Zayn from me.  You’re the only option left.”

“Wow.  I feel so flattered.  If I were you, I’d just go to my room.  Being alone seems like a better option than being with the man you hate.”

He just wanted to be left alone today.  Away from Louis for sure.  This had been a great week.  The boys were a little shaken with loss of Chris but they listened to Harry and were actually trying.  Not that they never were.  But last week was a bit of a disaster.  This week, the lads seemed like they knew which song they each wanted.

Louis wanted to say he actually enjoyed last week.  He felt stress-free during their talks.  The fact that is was Harry wasn’t a thought he found himself focusing on less than what it would have been like three weeks ago.

“He’s been banging on about how Liam is back and is more concerned about his next album and not him.  Also, skipping last week’s shows for his mates.  You see, this is why I don’t date.”

Everyone knew that the famous singer Louis Tomlinson didn’t date. He had like four boyfriends in the eight years he’s been relevant and ‘boyfriend’ was a loose term.  His longest relationship was five months.  He wondered why Louis could be seen with so many boys and not be labelled a slag but he was stunted with a woman every few months and he was considered a womanizer. It hurt and it made him hate Louis more.

“Okay.  But why are you telling me this and not Zayn?”

Louis narrowed his eyes and sighed heavily.  “Pay attention, Styles, I had to get away from him.”

“Okay.”

They fell back into silence.  They really didn’t have anything in common unless he lost an award to Louis or they were shagging.

They never talked.  Never shared stories.  Well, last week it was nice.  It was almost like they were mates and now he just wanted to be away from Louis as much as he could.  He could ignore his building emotions toward the singer.

The clock’s ticks sounded loud in the quiet room.  Harry looked up but his eyesight was too weak without his glasses.  All he knew that it was a little under four hours they had before the show.

He really just should have stayed in and let Niall bother him with his nonsense.

“So, how are…” he trailed off when he realized he didn’t know what he was really asking or if Louis really wanted him to talk.  As Louis said, he was basically only here because Zayn was being a dick.

“Yes?”

“Nothing.  Why are you really here?”

“You don’t believe that I wanted to see you?”

“You never said you wanted to see me,” Harry amended.  “You’re hiding from Zayn.”

Honestly, he had a feeling that if he wasn’t here, Louis would be sulking in his room.  But Louis wasn’t doing anything.  For someone who has been very vocal on Twitter, he’s been unusually quiet here.  Physical no and Harry would never admit that aloud that he didn’t mind that aspect.

He looked at Louis’ blurry face. Aside from the talking, this was weird for Louis to be in here.  It was always Louis’ and that was because they were shagging.  This was before the show so nothing but awkward small talk was going to happen.

“How do feel about tonight?” Harry asked.  The silence was driving him mental and Louis didn’t look like he was about to move.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking _you_ that?  Olivia was a surprise.  When Simon and Sharon said Chris, I knew you were going to side with them and not take it to deadlock as I did.”

“His sing-off wasn’t that great.”

“But he was better than Angie’s last two performance.  Anyway, I was asking about this week.”

He actually didn’t care but he wanted to test Louis and see if he actually would do something than just invading his space.

“Are you even interested?”

Harry shrugged. “You’re here.  We have like over three hours.  I rather not sit in silence until the show starts and you like complaining about me.  Why don’t you complain to me?”

“That doesn’t make any senesce.”

“No,” he agreed. 

Louis looked at Harry quizzically.  He really didn’t intend to come here.  Zayn barged into his room and Louis wasn’t in the mood to hear Zayn bitch about Liam for the tenth time this week.  He intended to go out for a drag but something pulled him to Harry’s.

“Well, since I can’t talk to Zayn, I guess you are a good substitute.  Laura is mad at Ash.  Apparently, he stole her song.”

“How?”

“Some song he picked last week.”

“'You Don’t Own Me'? Really?"

He nodded as he fell against the couch, laying down.  “She wanted it but he got it before she did.”

“Oh.”

He didn’t feel too bad.  There were songs the boys wanted but other acts called it before they could.  It didn’t happen often though.  They had a whole list of songs and the chances of there being a fight over the same song was rare.  It actually happened more in his group.  Ash and Chris had fought over songs for two weeks at the home.  Harry only found out when Chris joked that they wouldn’t argue over songs anymore.

“That was in a film?

“Apparently, some film from the nineties.”

“Oh.”

He had the urge to look it up but with them being in week six, he didn’t have much free time.  He was either with the boys or Niall took up his time with calls about new song ideas.  Not that he didn’t love the bloke but he didn’t want to think about music unless it was for the show or his own.  Which hasn’t happened yet.  Also, Niall’s album was finished.

 “So,” Louis said, pulling Harry out his thoughts.  “Pick any of my songs again?”

“No,” Harry said as his phone buzzed on the vanity counter.  “None of your songs have been in a movie.”  He shrugged nonchalantly.   “Also, I think two songs is enough to inflate that ego.  Loving the fact that Harry Styles picked two songs from his reported rival is enough.  Can’t say the same thing for you,” he muttered the last part, too low for Louis to hear.

He would never admit it, but he questioned his mentoring when his boys asked to do Louis’ songs.  As he said to Louis and Niall, his feelings towards Louis did not get in the way of what the lads wanted.  It was like Matt and Ezra.   He was too young for this, in their eyes.  He could understand that.  They were both older than he was.  He didn’t know what Simon was thinking when he asked but apparently, it meant that he would be compared to Louis’ age.  Really, his success. Maybe if he was “better” on the chart, the older lads would respect him. 

The thing was, he was successful. He was higher than Liam and Niall, and a few others. The reason was Louis’ tweets really.  As sick as it was, after four years, he’s gotten used to it.

“Relax, Styles.  Just riling you up.”

“Well, forgive me but I never know with you,” he said.  “So, what song did she pick?”  He wasn’t expecting an answer and if he really cared, he could have found out what songs Louis’ acts chose.

“You’re just gonna have to wait.  I’m not sharing what my acts decided.”

Harry just rolled his eyes.  He really didn’t expect an answer.  He looked at a text from Niall saying he couldn’t come tonight and he didn’t even remember if Niall said if he was.  He was here last week, so he didn’t expect another visit just yet.  Niall said he was going each week before the show started.  Now, they both didn’t really bother trying to set up a time.  He’d just let Niall come whenever he wanted.

“Well, next time you’re here, I won’t let you stay.”

It had nothing to do with what Louis said.  He just didn’t want Louis here next week.

Louis actually laughed.  Like a real laugh.

Harry looked up, narrowing his eyes.  Louis just smirked and got up.  He walked over to the boy, towering over him. 

“Oh, come on.  I like keeping you guessing,” Louis breath brushed over his face and Harry fought to keep his eyes open.  ‘No wonder what I do, you are easy to read.

“Mmm,” Harry hummed with a smug smirked and leaned forward, pressing his lips to Louis.  Louis made a noise of surprise but pushed against Harry, cupping his face.

Niall would have his head if he knew that he’s been sleeping with Louis again.  Almost every week. 

Louis told him Niall wasn’t to know, which puzzled him.  He thought he’d want to keep it from Zayn and Liam.  Even if Louis didn’t band him from telling Niall, he’d never tell him.  Maybe after the show ended.  Also, Louis didn’t really band him.  He told him not a word but Louis didn’t control him and after their history, he didn’t owe anything to the older lad.

Before it got too heated, Louis pulled back with a deep gasp as if he wasn’t expected it or he got too into it.  Either way, the two were staring awkwardly at each other, not knowing what to say.

“I-uh,” the younger lad stuttered just as Louis took a step back, pushing his hair back.

“I-I’ll see you later latter, Styles.”

Harry had a feeling that Louis wanted to say something more but quickly turned on his heels and rushed out the door.

Harry stared where Louis had just stood.  As much as Louis and his actions didn’t deserve a second thought, it wasn’t anything new from how they have slowly built up to this point.  It’s just, right now wasn’t the best time for Louis to decide he suddenly wanted to talk instead of having sex.

His phone buzzed again. 

He chuckled at the text from Niall.

_I actually don’t remember.  Just thought I should warn you just in case._

_Well, thanks but I think you just should wait until the finals._

*****

 

 

“What the fuck?” Louis yelled when he caught sight of Zayn’s hand.

He finally found Liam and Zayn who were two hours late.  Well, not really but he was bored when he left Harry’s and half expected to find his friend in his room.  After over an hour, Liam and he arrived.

 They were waiting for the show to start.  Waiting to get the worse week over with.  Movie week was his least favourite week.  He luckily didn’t have to do it last year but during his time singing here, he had to. 

Ella and Laura weren’t too bad this week.  Ella was the one who tossed around about five songs before finally picking one.  Laura only had two choices and Ash screwed her out of one

He saw Harry earlier and like last week, he teased him that he’d have to wait.

He was sure if he asked, Harry would have told him what the boys were singing.  Actually, he wasn’t sure.  If he told Harry this, he may have told him the songs he had.  All he knew was that Angie was doing “What A Feeling” and what his girls were doing.  He was a little disappointed that Sharon only had one.  He wanted Simon to lose last week.  He wanted Simon to lose but Dynamic Creatures got the last spot.   As much as he wanted Harry to lose someone, he wasn’t a fan of Angie but Angie was just better last week.  Just slightly.  As much as he looked at voting Chris out as his fault, he was sure Simon had voted to send him home because Harry had yet to lose someone.  Not a fair reason but also, he wasn’t sure if that was the real reason.  He went against Chris because the boy just had a weak performance last week.

He was shocked but like most things with Harry, he wouldn’t reveal any change he felt for the boy.  There really wasn’t any.  Or so he told himself.

“What?” Liam asked, looking up from his phone with furrowed brows.

“On Zayn’s finger.”

Zayn and Liam looked down.

“A ring,” Zayn answered simply.

“I know that,” Louis snapped.   “Is that what-”

“Yes,” Liam said, looking over Louis.  “I told you I was going to ask.”

“But during the X-Factor.”

“Well, I’m just visiting and it happened at home so calm the fuck down, Louis.”

“Wait, you knew and you acted like a wanker about it?”

Louis just grinned and stood up.  He pulled Zayn for a big hug, causing the other man to squirm out of the hold.

“Warn me, Louis.  I have to let people hug me tonight.”

“Honestly, what did you see in him?” the older man addressed Liam who was still in his spot.

“He’s your friend too.”

“Yeah but I don’t go home with him and I’m not marrying him.”

“I don’t know.  I like spending time with him.  Why do you shag Harry when you hate him?”

Zayn laughed loudly, shrugging at Louis’ glare.

“Easy.  We fuck and that’s it.  I’m not marrying him.”

“Hey!” Zayn snapped.  “I resent that.  Like anyone would want to marry you.  I think Harry has a better chance at love than you do.”

Louis glared but didn’t reply.  What confused him was that Zayn started calling Styles by his real name privately and he was finding that he slipping as well.  Also slipping while talking to styles.

He wanted to call Zayn out but he couldn’t be a hypocrite.  He knew Zayn would catch on a rail him for it. It’s happened before and Zayn is the only one who can give Louis what he gave him.  They were a perfect match and would surely kill each other if they tried anything but being mates.

“I can’t believe my best friends are getting married.  That you are getting married,” Louis shook his head as he tied to make sense of the news.  Really, it wasn’t that big of a deal.  He just remembered that they were just fucking and slowly, somehow, it turned into something more and now marriage.

“Don’t act surprised, you and Perrie have been making bets since we told you two,” Zayn deadpanned.

“Ho-How-” Louis started but Zayn cut him off with a scoff.

“Perrie and you have been asking and hinting that we should get married for years.”  Since they started dating really.

“So,” Liam said, finally deciding to chime in.  “Who won?”

“I’m guessing Perrie,” Zayn chuckled just as Louis pouted and said ‘neither’.

“How is that possible?”

“We both got it wrong.  Perrie said Zayn’s birthday.  I said Liam would do it sometime next year.  Either way, we weren’t betting on this year.”

“Ha,” Zayn cried out in amusement. 

Perrie was almost as bad as Louis was for making and losing bets.

Liam just shook his head.  He sometimes didn’t get Zayn and Louis’ relationship and he’s known Zayn for less time than Louis.

“Well, I’m going out for a drag.  Don’t come,” Zayn told Louis.  As much as he liked Louis here, he enjoyed the first year here without Louis and now Harry was here.  In all honesty, he didn’t really have an opinion of Harry.  Only what Louis had but he was just mainly humouring him.  He’d admit that for the first three years, he backed Louis up.  This year, though, his opinion of the younger lad had really changed.

 

 

*****

 

 

 

Harry was pacing the length of his room.  He had an hour until the show.  He didn’t really want to try calling Niall.  Texting was fine but his friend almost made him late last Sunday because he talked for three hours.  He only talked to his mum for ten minutes before she had to go and Gemma was only texting, sneaking messages at work.  So, he couldn’t send long messages

He was here for week six with only losing Chris.  Niall and his family were proud and Louis admitted that he was impressed, in his own way.

He wasn’t vindictive, he didn’t hate anyone but it was kind of Simon’s fault that Chris went home.  He shouldn’t whine. He was lucky that his boys were good enough.  He understood why Louis and Simon were at odds with each other.  But he never talked to Simon on his own.  It was either with one of the other judges or as a group.  Like Chris leaving, he knew his time was coming.

If Louis could visit him outside of elimination night, Simon could find him too and as much as he’d rather keep away from Louis until he had to, he really wanted to avoid Simon.  Even though he was here because Simon asked and his team thought it was a fantastic idea, he felt like Simon was regretting his decision.

This week wasn’t an easy choice for the lads but they didn’t go through twenty or some odd songs like some weeks before. 

Noah had an issue with his song choice when he picked “What A Feeling” and was told Angie had claimed it first.

Ash had then joked he should do “Love Me Like You Do” which caused Noah to flip him off and fire a few insults.  All in good fun but because they were now halfway through, he kind of wanted to be a little more serious.  Thankfully, they were fine after that.

When Ash came to him with “Somewhere” from West Side Story and before Harry could figure out an opinion after hearing him sing, he switched to “Skyfall”. 

Honestly, Ash had better make it far with all the stress he’s caused him so far.  As he said before, the boys didn’t give him that much of a headache.

He was still tossing around the idea of getting Ash to change his choice after he said yes to the original change. 

He felt like the song fit Ash perfectly but he felt it was a little too safe for a week six song.  Maybe the first two weeks.  “Skyfall” though was a push and a real risk.  It had a very different tone and sound to Ash’ previous songs.  He didn’t want to push Ash too much where he’d end up going home tomorrow.  Though they were in week six and tomorrow may determine if Louis would get one up on him.

He didn’t want to get cocky but he had a feeling that this was his week.  That tonight Ash and Noah would stand out. 

He wasn’t cocky or boastful actually.  He was actually going over Noah and Ash’ song picks and the other options, trying to determine if they were the right songs or if he should have said something.

Louis’ visit didn’t help.  He came early hoping to clear his head and talk to the boys but Louis threw him off course and now he needed a breather.   He grabbed his coat.  He needed to clear his head.

 He found himself returning to his old habits when he was sad or stress.  Something he really didn’t do much anymore.  Now, for the past two weeks, he’s been going outside whenever he could.

He pushed through the back door, relishing in the darkening sky and the cold air. The wind was hash when he stepped out.  He pulled his coat tighter to him.

He smelt smoke and opened his eyes, landing them on Zayn who stood several feet away, taking an inhale of smoke.

“Yes?” he asked in a clipped tone when he noticed the other’s presence.  Probably mad that he was disturbing his peace.

Harry opened his mouth but a flash of silver from Zany’s hand caught his attention

“You’re engaged?” he asked with a smile.

Zayn raised his eyebrows and pulled his cigarette from his mouth.  He looked at Harry and then his hand. 

“Yeah,” he said slowly.  He didn’t want to sound cold but he didn’t really have a true opinion on him; only Louis’ and he hated him. 

Harry still smiled despite the rough tone.  He usually avoided Zayn along with Louis.  Zayn never made him feel unwanted.  He just never wanted to be around him unless he had to.  Zayn never acted like Louis did.  But typical with anyone associated with Louis, he avoided them.

 “I’m so happy for you.”  He avoided the man when he was alone but he always paid attention when Liam was here, and how Zayn was around him.  It was sweet.  He was a romantic and he loved seeing couples so in love.  Even if it was Zayn.

Zayn wanted to comment but the tone of his voice and the smile was so genuine that his remark died on his lips.  Fuck.  Harry was a good kid.  He didn’t know them that long and he does this?

“Umm.”  Harry shifted on his feet, looking nervous.  “C-can I hug you?  You can say no,” he rushed out.  He was a hugger but he knew some people preferred their personal space.  And this was Zayn of all people.  Still.

Zayn usually didn’t let people hug him when he could control it.  With his job, that wasn’t an option and yet he found himself nodding.

“Sure.”

The hug was short but it was sincere

“I guess I should get ready.”  Harry pulled back.  He didn’t let Zayn talk.  “Congratulation.”  And then he rushed inside.

Zayn stared after him.  He usually didn’t say anything about the people Louis slept with but Harry was… Different.  He was going to get his heart broken for sure.  Even if he tried to talk to Harry, like he wanted to, he knew the younger lad would either say ‘yes’ because he was that type of guy or he would say ‘no’ because he was Louis’ friend.

Harry hurried down the hall, pulling at his hair and muttering how daft he was.  Zayn would tell Louis and he would not appreciate him touching Zayn.  Forget Liam, it was Louis who he had to avoid.  He knew he was safe tonight.

He wished he could call his mum again or hope Gemma would actually pick up a call.  He could try Niall again but he couldn’t call the lad until he picked up.  He didn’t want to be annoying and he was getting annoyed even though Niall told him countless of time he didn’t mind.  He did.  Harry was sure.  No one was fine listening to drama every week if you had to help.

Maybe he was over thinking this and Zayn wasn’t like Louis when he was alone. Maybe, Zayn was a decent lad.  Maybe but maybe not.

He just wanted to focused on tonight and how this was his favourite suit so far.  He was wearing a white, silk shirt, this time he was only leaving one button open.  Looked better that way because leaving three open wasn’t professional.  His suit was dark purple, almost black.   The colour showing up when the light hit it the right way.

He pulled his hair up and studied himself in the mirror, tilting his head in a ‘thinking’ motion.  He usually pulled his hair up when he was home or at his mum’s.  He liked it but he saw the episode where he had his hair up and it looked stupid. 

Sometimes he was tired and would just push hair back or just wanted it out of his face for once.  But leaving it up with this suit just looked silly. 

Maybe it was time for a hair cut?  Niall’s been on him and Gemma but each time he decided to take the step, he always backed out.

 

 

*****

 

 

The show started with Angie and as good as she was, “What A Feeling” which wasn’t the best show opener.  He liked the song and the performance was decent though so he could praise that she was a good opener.

 Dynamic Creatures was after and sang “Born to Be Wild”, which fit their look and they were better than Angie.  The one lad, Joshua was a little sharp near the middle but he caught himself quickly and the other lads covered him.  

Ash was third tonight.  He was actually supposed to start the show but something happened with Dynamic Creatures and the order had to be switched.  Which, he didn’t understand because Dynamic Creatures was going last.  Not second.  It was Simon’s group so it must have some convoluted excuse to get his act higher.  Maybe he also wanted Ash lower since he was up now.

Ash really had him jittery. He didn’t want to be biased, and backing up Ash did seem like it, he wanted to say Ash was the best of the night.  And by Sharon and Simon’s feedback, the thought so too.

Simon actual liked it.

“Ash, mate,” Louis started off.  “I have to say this a different tone for you.  You really haven’t done songs with this type of dark tone but I’m impressed.  I think this was a risk but the right choice.”

Harry didn’t try to hide his smile.  He was happy Ash did well and the crowd loved it.

“First. I just have to say how proud of you right now,” Harry said, taking his turn.  “I know you were having a hard time picking a song and I will admit I was hesitant when you asked for this song, but I’m glad you pushed because this has been your best performance.”

Ash smiled brightly and Zayn came up.  He tuned out when Zayn called another break.

After they broke for the break, Sharon sat back, giving Harry and Louis a chance to lock eyes.  The latter just shook his head like he was telling him he didn’t know what to say.

His smile faltered when Zayn ran to Louis.  Harry glanced to Simon who just rolled his eyes and looked away.  He seemed to just give up on them.

He heard Louis laugh loudly, drawing the attention of Sharon and Harry. 

“Sorry, Sharon,” Louis grinned sheepishly.  Sharon said something but he missed it.  He heard him laugh again so it was funny.  He guessed.  Suddenly Zayn was rushing back but caught his eyes.  He smiled softly and before he could think about it, the host was welcoming the show back.

He didn’t know if he was just mocked or what.  That wasn’t a mocking look though, he told himself and he wasn’t ready for Zayn to be nice to him.  If that was what that smile meant.  He thought that was too big of a jump after a conversation and hug.  He was Louis’ friend.  Though, there were times where it seemed like Zayn was telling Louis off but it probably wasn’t about him.

Each time Zayn spoke, he kept his eyes to the desk.  He honestly was making to big of a deal out of this.  But each time someone was nice to him, he always questioned their motives.  It took him a few weeks to trust Niall but the Irish lad never knew.

He had to thank Matt and Johnathan for that present. 

_It was just after his sixteenth birthday.  He liked Johnathan.  Well, as much as he could like someone who wasn’t like Matt’s crowd.  He wasn’t like the other boys.  What he meant was that he wasn’t friends with Matt._

_It was almost after school when Johnathan came up to his locker and started talking.  He was a little startled because no one but the teachers ever talked to him and that was in class.  Warning bells were going off in his head but he ignored them.  Someone wanted to talk to him._

_Johnathan was a year older than him, so they didn’t have any classes together._

_It was all going well until Johnathan leaned in to kiss him.  He was too shocked to push him.  This was a new low.  He also wasn’t out and he was terrified that someone would see and start rumours and out him.  As he pushed him away, he heard laughing.  He turned to see Matt, Tristian, two boys from the footie team and Mia Davies all laughing.  He was the one too pushed the boy away but it was too late.  The damage was done.  Johnathan was laughing too._

_He didn’t even bother opening his locker, he pushed past Matt, who was laughing the hardest and hurried out the doors.  He cried the who way home, thankful that his mum wasn’t home.  He ran up the stairs and locked his door before collapsing on his bed, sobbing loudly._

_He realized that he truly didn’t have any friends.  That no one was true.  He couldn’t trust anyone.  But most importantly, that was his first kiss and he lost it to a boy who was working with Matt.  Who was looking for confirmation that he was gay._

That day he closed himself up.  Until he met Niall, he didn’t let anybody in.  And Louis almost broke that.  But he was used to people using him for a punchline.  It still hurt but he was stronger.

When he came to, Ella was halfway through “How Far I’ll Go”, and he felt a few tears run down his face.  This wasn’t the time to think about that day or any of those days.  It never failed to make him cry.  It had been seven years and he knew if he wasn’t here, he’d be in his bed, under his covers, crying.

He wiped his eyes, listening to the rest to at least do his job with what he had to work with.

He didn’t know if the cameras caught him or if it was obvious that tears had welled up in his eyes.  When it came to his turn, he had to clear his throat to stop his voice from cracking.  He locked eyes with Zayn again after Ella left but he quickly looked away.

Why did someone being nice to him set him off?  It was a question he asked after he met Niall.  If Louis was the same, he’d asked to.

When Noah came on, he was done with tonight but he had to listen and it wasn’t hard.  It was upbeat and happy and distracted Harry from his thoughts.

After Laura, he was free to go.  After they were dismissed, he wasted no time rushing to his room.  He grabbed his coat, throwing it on and grabbed his bag.  He didn’t bother buttoning up his coat.  He welcomed the bit of the bitter cold.  Also, he was only going to his car.

He was just going to have a bath when he got to his room.  He needed to relax and get away from the world, even for a minute.  He shut off his phone.  He didn’t want to be bothered.  He just needed this moment for himself.

He always thought he was over this but suddenly there was something to remind him.  Maybe it was because he never could get a step up or he never got help and kept everything in until he left school.  Even then, he told his mum and Gemma a modernized version.  Niall was the only one who knew the whole story. 

Everything was ruined and he was only twenty-three.  Exciting, right?

His first kiss was tainted.  His first time was tainted.  His first relationship was tainted.  That was a fun one.  After five months he found his boyfriend fucking some bloke in _his_ bed.  After that, he didn’t date for a while but that was because he busied himself with his tour.  And that was that.  Seven years and he’s never had a big memory.  He guessed getting into university and getting signed were good things.  But he wanted a personal achievement.  But all the millstones were gone.

 

 

*****

 

 

Louis walked into his room, wanting to be anywhere than his dressing room.  He shrugged off his coat and dropped it onto the sofa along with his blazer before fell on to the armchair.

“So, how do you think the night really went?” Liam asked, taking a seat on the foot of the bed.  Zayn took the left side, sat on the edge, staring at Louis who was too quiet.

Louis could admit that it went surprisingly well.  All the acts were great.  It was hard to think of who had the risk of going home tonight.  For once they all were at pare.  His girls were just as good as he hoped.  And Harry’s boys were just as good.  If not better with Ash.  He would never admit that though. 

Ash was almost like Laura, he had a feeling that the lad would go far in the competition.  He was different. 

“I want to change before we talk.”  He went to the dresser and pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of joggers. 

He walked into the bathroom without a glance to his friends.

“Ugh,” Zayn groaned when he heard the shower start.  “Do you want to go and change?  He’s going to be in there for a while.”

Louis always had long showers after the show.  The warm water was soothing and relaxing after a long day.

“Um, sure?” Liam said, though more of a question.

Zayn just snorted and grabbed Liam’s wrist.  This was the only time he was going to stay in his own room.  Liam was back and he wanted to make up for lost time.

They got back to Louis’ after ten minutes and like expected, they could still hear the water running.  It was another five minutes before Louis walked out.  Dressed down and hair wet.

Liam and Zayn were in the same spots as before but Louis didn’t comment on it.

“This night sucked,” Louis moaned and flopped on the bed like an angry child.

“I thought it went very well,” Liam said, not getting what Louis was implying.

“You’re just pissed because Harry upstaged you with Ash.”

“That,” he admitted.  May as well try not to pretend that wasn’t one of the reasons.  “And the pressure is becoming a… Lot.  I don’t know.  You knew I got like this last year.”

“Yeah, but you and Harry have this arrangement or some shit.  I would have thought you’d be less of an arse,” Zayn drawled, not in the mood to have this conversation for the fifth time.

“Doesn’t mean it works.  I know Harry’s worse.  Actually, he's nothing like me.   I’ve heard his talks with Horan and he’s practically just holding on.”

“Well, this is his first year and he has a lot of pressure to win or to do well,” Zayn snipped.  “Your fans are betting on him losing by week eight.  Even some of the articles online a giving him a back-handed compliment.  The other half want to see him come out like you don’t.”

Louis and Liam stared in shock.  Zayn was the first one to jump with Louis, Liam took a bit more convincing.  Now, it was like Louis was on his own and Liam and Zayn were just watching the show.

“I’m sorry?  What?  Are you defending Harry?” Louis asked, voice shocked and a litter higher.  “And I don’t want him to fail.”

“Seriously, Zayn,” Liam said, moving his hand to his fiancé but Zayn didn’t acknowledge Liam.  “Are you mad?  You are the first to agree with Louis.  You two seem to have it out for him.”

“Thanks, Liam.  Glad to know me fiancé supports me.  And I do not just agree.  Louis makes points that are hard to ignore but now-”

“He’s right, Zee,” Louis said but apparently Zayn wasn’t interested in what he had to say.  “Harry is my competition.”

“Yeah, but you and Harry have this arrangement or some shit.  I would have thought you’d be less of an arse,” Zayn drawled, not in the mood to have this conversation for the fifth time.

“I regret ever telling you that.”

“I wish I didn’t know.  I hate looking at him and know you’re fucking him.”

“Why?  It’s not like he is your friend.”

It wasn’t that he felt guilty telling Zayn and Liam about Harry and his arrangement, it was just strange when Harry talked to Zayn and knowing the two knew what they were doing but Harry was in the dark about Zayn’s thoughts.

“What changed?” Louis asked with furrowed brows.  “You've been weird all night.”

“Just realized something.”

“What do you-”

“Louis,” Zayn sighed as he cut Louis off.   “Harry congratulated me today,” he continued as he rubbed his forehead.   “And he only talked to me like three times in the months he’s been here.”

“Okay.  So?  We work together. It’s expected.”

“You don’t get it, Louis.  You really are thick,” he mumbled the last part but loud enough for both men to hear.

“Oi, where this coming from-”

“He’s a good kid,” he continued, not caring that he kept interrupting Louis.  He wouldn’t have listened otherwise.  “I don’t think what the media puts out about him is true.”

“You can’t be serious.  He’s been unbearable since we started.”

“Well, you didn’t give him a chance.  And he closed right up after.”

Louis chewed on his lip.  He knew Zayn had a point but it felt too late to backtrack.  Maybe once this was over, he’d back off a bit.

Liam was just forgotten at this point.  It was always like this when they got into a fight.  Whoever wasn’t involve may as well leave, they wouldn’t have noticed.  And that was what Liam did.  He went to the chair by the window which had Louis’ laptop.  He booted up and got settled on the chair.  He smirked when Zayn and Louis were still spitting angry words, not losing the patterned they set.  This could either be a long or short night.

“Now you're blaming me?  Don’t forget you were in this from the start,” he said.  He didn’t like when people suddenly turned on him.  Well, Zayn never had to back him up but they were mates.  There was like some rule that you and your mates would go down together.  Right?

Zayn just rolled his eyes and shook his head.  “You were here after the first night you fucked Harry.  And now it’s been four weeks.  What are you even doing?”

“Having a bit of fun.  Harry’s all for it.  I don’t get what’s the problem.  You and Liam were doing the same.”

“I think you’re confused.  We did it twice before we starting dating.  What you are doing is a completely different arrangement.”

“Relax.  We know where we stand.”

“You do.  But what about Harry?”  He had a feeling if the boy he saw earlier was real, Louis may be looking at this wrong.

“I remind him every time.”

And that could be a recipe for disaster if Harry got tired of being treated like a child.

“Did you make him sign an NDA?”  He smirked at the murderous glare he received.

“Fuck off, Malik.  This is Styles, not some shag.”

“Is this any different?”  And really, aside from Harry being a name, the situation was still very similar.

“Look, just don’t break his heart.”

“It won’t be like that,” Louis said forcefully.  “Neither of us have feelings that could grow into that kind of a mess.”

“That’s what the films say.”

“Yeah, well, this isn’t a movie and it won’t become one.”  Louis sneered. 

He wasn’t sure but he was sure Louis was dead wrong or going to be wrong.  He was sure Harry was only acting around Louis when he was looking.  He saw the longing and sad looks Harry would give his mate.  He needed more information but he was sure they were wrong about Harry.

 

 

*****

 

 

He found that if Louis ever did something out of the ordinary, he over thought the meaning.  He just wished they could just hate and shag each other, without the other socializing.  Nineteen-year-old him would love the attention.  Would love having Louis’ actual attention.  That wasn’t his life though.

Niall didn’t call until close to midnight, waking Harry up.

“Yes?” Harry mumbled, still half asleep and would most likely fall asleep again if he closed his eyes.

 “You smashed it again,” Niall cheered, not hearing Harry’s drowsy voice or not caring.  Knowing Niall as long as he has, he’d bet it was the latter.

“Th-thanks,” he said, not sure if Niall heard.

“Louis agreed with you,” the too happy lad said.

“I know.  I was there.”

He knew he was being a dick but he was tired and Niall woke him up.  Also, he was telling him what he already knew.  And the part that stuck out to him was before the show.  The visit and the conversation.  It was what he had hoped for when he first met Louis.  Now, it was out of place with his relationship with Louis.

“Hey, be happy.  Louis is admitting you were right.  What’s wrong?”

“He was agreeing because it was kind of obvious that Elegance’s performance was weak.  And I was sleeping.

“Since when do you sleep before midnight?”

He usually went to bed before midnight.  After years of getting to the recording studios early and touring, he got into a routine of his sleeping pattern.  He was also able to exercise before he was needed.  He was only up past midnight for Niall.

“Always have, Niall.  You knew that.”

“Oh… Yeah,” the Irish lad trailed off as he realized.  “Sorry.  I watched late and didn’t realize you-”

“It’s fine, Niall.  Can we talk later?  When I am more awake and relish in the delusion that I’m getting Louis’ respect.”

Niall laughed and muttered a sorry.  “I’ll let you go.   Call me tomorrow.”

“I will.” 

And because he really was tired, he hung up before Niall got the chance to respond.

 

 

*****

 

 

Harry had to hurry to get ready.  He lost track of time and ended up talking to the boys longer than he intended.  He had a half-hour to get ready and the lads were now rushing too.

He just got out of the lads’ room when someone called his name.

“Harry!”

Harry tensed at the voice.  It wasn’t Louis but the other lad.   As much as he wanted to entertain Zayn, he really didn’t have time.

“Zayn?” he said, making it sound like a question. Zayn wasn’t like Louis, similar but did talk to him. Not like this though.  This was what Matt did.  What Tristian did.  What Johnathan did.

“Are you going out?” he nodded down the Harry pea coat, which was still buttoned.

“Ummm,” he looked down, realizing he took his coat off.  “No.  I was visiting the boys?

This was seriously weird.  It was like an alternate universe or something.  He was waiting for Louis to jump out at him for falling for Zayn’s act, even if he wasn’t.

“And you’re still in your coat?” the man teased and the small smirk didn’t fit him at all.

“Um. Yeah.  Didn’t realize.  Umm?”  he turned around, doing a three sixty, trying to find Louis.  “Where is Louis?”

“He’s not here.  Went with Liam.  I had to meet Simon and there really isn’t any reason to leave.”

“We are starting in a half hour.”

Zayn rolled his eyes.  “Try telling Lou that.  I asked him not to leave.  So, are you nerves for tonight?  Unless you aren’t then I admire that.”

 “Umm, yes.  I guess.  We’re past half way and… I don’t know.”  He didn’t want to say anything about winning and feeling the pressure of getting to the finals.  It would surely get to Louis.  As nice as Zayn was, this was only one day and he didn’t have Louis.  He was sure by next week his little act of kindness would be gone.  Also, he really needed to get ready.

“Ash is great.  Not that Noah isn’t either but I actually like Ash.  I know I should like Louis’ and I do,” he rushed out but continued.  “Ash was my favourite last night.”

Harry blinked, stunned and speechless.  Was Zayn making a joke, only to laugh when he fell for it?

“T-thank you.  Just hope the viewers agree.”

“Zayn!” a voice called out.

Harry looked over Zayn’s head and grimaced when he saw Louis walking towards him.

“What are you talking to Styles for?” 

“Hey, Lou,” the man’s voice grew clipped.  “Just talking about tonight.”

“Really?”  Louis’ eyebrows shot up and grinned cheekily to Harry.  “And are you confident?”

“I try not to get my hopes up.  It never works out, as you must know.”  He didn’t bid them goodbye and just walked away. 

 

 

*****

 

The night didn’t drag on but it didn’t pass quickly either.  It finally came time for them to be on stage.

As confident he was in his boys, he was worried.  Laura was great as well as Dynamic Creatures.  It wasn’t the best they’ve heard from them but he was sure they would make it though.

“The first act through and will be joining us next week is… Ash.”

The lad cheered and pulled Noah in for a tight hug and then Harry.  He heard the loud applause as he smiled.

Zayn sailed through the names until there only three left.  Angie was a surprise when she got the third spot.  Noah got second, making Harry happy. 

Dynamic Creatures was the last act saved, leaving Ella and Elegance in the bottom.

It was fine.  Noah was safe.  Just so but it was easier to breathe now.

 

 

*****

 

 

Louis followed Harry backstage.  Instead of Louis meeting Harry, the lad wasn’t there.  Well, not when he stepped off the stage.

“Styles,” the lad called from behind.

“Louis,” Harry nodded, letting Louis lead the way to Harry’s room?  He was hoping for Louis’s room but he wasn’t about to complain.

He walked through the open doorway, turning around to see Louis closing the door and shrugging off his coat.

“I think I should thank you,” Louis grinned, stopping in front of Harry.

Harry just rolled his eyes.  “It was kind of obvious who won.  Elegance was good but last night.”

Louis stalked towards Harry, pushing him down on the couch.  Harry bounced for a second before staring up, meeting Louis intense gaze.

“Come here,” Harry said, grabbing Louis’ hips, pulling him down.  He could feel Louis’ semi and before Harry could settle Louis, he pushed up, turning Harry to lay flat against the sofa.

“Much better.  Wasn’t my favourite position,” he said as he pulled Harry’s shoes and socks off before moving to loom over Harry.

Louis tugged on his trousers and pants, pulling them down with a little struggle before kissing up Harry’s chest.  He was being unusually gentle and he had to put a stop to that.  He reminded him too much of that night.  The gentle kisses and touches were just an act and now this was mocking because Louis didn’t realize what he was doing.

What he’s been doing for the past few weeks.

Harry let out a whine when lips moved over his neck.  This was just so strange. 

“Just get to it, Louis.”  Harry pushed him back and Louis just rolled his eyes as he pulled his trousers down.

“I just want to show my appreciation,” the older man joked, and, what the fuck was that?

They were shagging.  Louis or Harry losing someone or not didn’t influence the night’s outcome.

Louis didn’t know what he was doing to Harry.  He needed to move on.  From that.  He was shagging Louis, clearly, he was past caring.   Louis was making this night different and he didn’t like that.  This was how he read way too much into things.

Louis pulled out a condom and package of lube from his wallet and kneeled between Harry’s parted legs. 

“If we’re fucking here, you really should get lube,” Louis said as he poured some on his fingers.

“It seems like you are well prepared,” he breathed out, inhaling sharply when the man pushed a finger in.  “We’re only it here because you decided to come here.”

“I like change,” he admitted as he pushed a second finger in.

“Sure, and why now?”

 Louis curled his fingers, pulling a groan from Harry.

“I have my fingers up your ass and you’re concerned on why we are here?”  He tsk as he added a third finger.

“I just wanted—fuck,” he groaned as Louis pulled his fingers out.

Louis watched Harry’s chest moving with his shaky breath.  He felt his dick twitched as he watched Harry’s reaction.  He didn’t do anything but finger the young lad and he already looked wrecked.

He reached for the discarded condom on the floor and tore it open.

Harry opened his eyes, meeting Louis’ lust filled stare.  As much as yesterday confused him, this right not was worse. 

“Fuck,” they both groaned as Louis pushed in.

Harry tried to sit up but was pushed back by a firm hand.  He wanted to kiss Louis but the lad was denying him. 

“Lou, just do some—shit,” he gritted out as Louis started a fast and harsh pace.

Louis leaned down, capturing Harry’s lip in a rough kiss.

They didn’t last long.  Both were too pent up. Harry with Louis’ teasing and Harry sided with Louis.  Which wasn’t the first time but something seemed different with Louis.

If Harry wasn’t so close to coming, he’d give Louis’ behaviour more thought.

With a few tugs and thrust, they came.  Louis clasped on Harry, breathing heavily as Harry ran a hand over his sweaty back.

Unlike before, Louis didn’t move.  He let Harry touch.  Like he said: strange.

 

 

*****

 

 

“I thought you were dead!  If I hadn’t seen you on the telly, I would have called the Scotland yard,” Niall cried (in dramatics) as soon as he called the boy.

Harry just rolled his eyes as he watched Niall slap a hand across his chest in mock relief.

“Just because I didn’t call you last night, you think I’ve been killed?  On the side of a road in the country?  I was just tired and ended up sleeping for twelve hours.”

Not really.  He only slept for six and mulled over Louis’ behaviour for the past few weeks and what happened last night.

Louis was dangerous.  He didn’t realize the hold he had over Harry.  After years of trying to ignore Louis, one kiss and it was all over.  He never got over his crush and as much as he wanted to deny it, he couldn’t.  It was there, deep down but now it was coming back up.

“And I talked to you Saturday night.”  _When you woke me up_ is what he added but it would just go over Niall’s head. 

“I left three messages and a bunch of texts after the show ended.  I-.”

“You need to relax.  I had something to eat because I missed dinner.”

More like breakfast, lunch and dinner.

“I can’t.  You were with Louis.”

“I wasn’t with Louis,” he snapped but he knew Niall hadn’t clued in.  He didn’t give any suspicion to think so.

“You know what I meant.”

“Sure, and just because Louis is a dick doesn’t mean he’d into murder.  Where the hell did you come up with that?  He’s more into humiliation.  I would know.”

“I just thought after last night.  You finally beat him.”  Niall rubbed his face and pinched the bridge of his nose.  “I was concerned because it looked like you were crying at one point in the show.”

Shit!

“What do you mean?” he asked hesitantly.

“Well, I didn’t get to this on Saturday night but the cameras didn’t focus on you a lot because Ella, I think, I wasn’t really paying attention to who was singing.  Anyway, it looked like you were crying.  But when it came time for you to talk, you looked fine.”

“Oh,” was all he got out before Niall continued.

“Some people on Twitter were talking about it.  Your die-hard fans,” the fake blond smirked.

“I-I-I wasn’t crying.  I was fine.”

“Really?  Because you also looked far away when the camera glanced at you.”

 “I was fine.  My contacts were bothering me and irritated my eyes.  That’s it.”

Niall was silent for a long moment after that, going over what Harry had just said, trying to figure if that he wanted to believe it or not.

Harry turned to look out the window.  It was cloudy so you couldn’t see the stars.  It wasn’t like you could see the stars anyway in London but he liked to pretend he could see them.

He’d rather stare at a dark blanket than Niall’s blank face.  He heard Niall exhale heavily and shift on his side of the screen.

He remembered a lot of nights he would look from his bedroom at the stars or the rain on most nights he felt worthless.  He just wanted to finally leave school and meet new people who hadn’t gone to school with him since the start.  The stars always made him smile and the rain always made him feel safe when he was home and curled up in bed.

“Harry!  Harry!”

The man jumped and turned to look at Niall.

“Yes?”

“Where did you go?  I called you five times.”

“Oh.  Um, I was just staring outside.  Remembering how much I liked the stars.”

“Um, oka…y?”  Now he was the one confused.  “I’m assuming there’s a reason why you found outside more interesting than me.”

“I was just thinking back to when I was young.  Not as deep as you are assuming.”  It really wasn’t.  Niall always questioned when Harry spaced out or frowned randomly that he was thinking back to school.  He wasn’t.  Well, not every time.

“Well, I’m sorry but you were a mess the first year I met you and when you finally told me, you cried for the entire day.”

Harry shifted when he felt his leg fall asleep from being crossed.  He sat back against the headboard, spreading his legs out.

“Yeah, well, it’s been seven years and I’m over it.  Okay, almost,” he glared when Niall gave him a look to say he didn’t believe him.  “And that’s all I’m going to say so believe it.”

Niall knew he was lying and he knew Niall knew but he wasn’t going to change if Niall was pretending.

“Okay, now back to last night.”

Harry groaned loudly and knocked his head on the headboard hard enough to knock his glasses down his nose.

“My contacts were being a bitch and they made my eyes water.  That’s it.”

Niall looked at him for a moment and for the second lie tonight, Niall agreed to believe it.

“Okay.  Well, it was a good night and last night,” he added.  “You didn’t lose anybody.”

“Yet,” he added.  “I have a feeling I’m going to lose one of the boys soon.”

“Well, it’s only been a week so maybe not yet?  Anyway, I want to talk about the songs.”

“What is there to talk about?”

“Well, they were two very different songs and they did them well.”

“Yeah, I guess.”  Right now, he was thinking about this week and what songs would fit the boys and the audience’s taste.  “Ash gave me a bit of trouble when I suggested he should have done Footloose.  He wanted to do Skyfall.  I was hesitant but he was adamant about it.”

“Well, he got first, so I say it was the right choice.”

“Yeah.  I just wish the boys had longer to recovery each week.  We had a bad day today.”

Niall hummed.  “It sucks but I’m sure tomorrow will be better.”

Harry gave a soft smile and a sigh.  “I probably should go to bed.  Busy day tomorrow.”

“Right.  I talk to you later.  Night, Harry.”

 

*****

 

This week went by quickly and before he knew it, it was Sunday night, the seventh elimination show.  His girls were fine today.  They were great last night.

He didn’t get to talk to Harry as much as he’d like to, which he would never admit aloud.   Week five really set something in him and he tried to go back to the way they always were last week, but he cracked and visited Harry before the show.  Yesterday he found himself talking to the lad as they waited for Simon and Sharon.

For once, Simon left him alone.  It wasn’t like they talked every day.  This week, he got away with just Tuesday and it was really pathetic.  He asked if Louis would consider returning next year, which was annoying.  They haven’t even ended this year and he had an itch to get back in his world now.

He wasn’t sure about anything right now.  All he wanted to was get through this series before he made any new decisions.  This was also why he and Simon were constantly at odds.  Simon wanted more than Louis gave, and would announce another album as he was touring.  He wouldn’t go back even if Simon offered more than his new label given.  That was impossible to top but he also was too prideful to fold to Simon. 

He was lost in his thoughts that he didn’t see that he wasn’t alone anymore.

“Hey.”

Louis jumped, swearing quietly.  “Oh, H-hi.”

Harry just smiled as he caught Louis off guard for the first time.  He was cute when he looked lost.

“How are you feeling today?”

“Um, I’m fine. I’m confident.”

Harry nodded.  He was sure Louis had nothing to worry about.  He wanted to feel that way too but with them inching so close to the finale, anything could happen.

“Ella was brilliant last night.  She’s really has improved.  Proof that she has a great mentor.”

Louis shook his head and scoffed in humour.  “Flattery won’t get you anywhere, Styles.  You’re still coming to mine tonight.”

“Maybe.  Maybe it’ll be mine or I’ll be too tired to do anything but go home.”  He slowly walked to Louis, who stood still, watching the boy.

“Mm.  I feel like you are teasing me, challenging me but I know you.”

They were now only inches apart, staring in each others’ eyes, waiting for the other one to react first but before they could do anything, they jumped apart when they heard Simon’s voice down the hall.

Louis coughed awkwardly as Harry ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at the ends.

The three stood in silence as the waited for Sharon and Zayn, who wasn’t with Louis last night too.”

They walked out soon after they all were together.  Zayn cut it close with five minutes to spare.  Louis patted Harry on the back when Harry passed him.                                                                                                     

Louis took a deep breath. He felt good.  He talked to Ella and Laura before he had to get ready; they were talking to Ash and Elijah from Dynamic Creatures.

He never talked to one the lads from Dynamic Creatures alone; the same with Ash and it was nice talking to them all.  This was one of the things he liked about judging but he didn’t have enough time to talk to each act when he had the girls as his main focus.  

Louis shifted in his seat as the time got closer and closer.  He glared at Zayn, smiling and being his usual charming self.  He didn’t have any worries.  He was the host and newly engaged, and because of that, Zayn was with Liam all week and ignoring Louis this weekend.

He watched the winning group four series ago.  They were still good but he wasn’t really paying attention right now.  He wondered if Harry ever felt like this.  If he ever zoned out?  He wouldn’t say he’s never done that, he did a few times last year but those were thoughts about his groups cracking or not picking the right song.  Today, he was wondering about Harry and what Zayn said last week. 

He had a feeling that Harry wasn’t acting.  He never saw any evidence but at the same time, Harry never met him and developed a crush.  It wasn’t that he regretted that night but it wasn’t him.  Or, it was but only in clubs, not award shows.  It was good and the only good time he had with Harry. It’s been four years so he didn’t really think about it.  Actually, he hasn’t thought about it in two years, not when he saw a picture of Harry kissing some model.  The boy looked uncomfortable—only if you really looked—and what the media and his fans wrote about a new romance, and thought they were so cute.  Just by a picture, he thought about how Harry kissed, first unsure but quickly melted into the movements.  That photo looked like the girl had led.

He was jarred out of his trip down memory when Sharon tapped him on his should, telling him it was time.

He caught Harry’s eyes and smiled softly at Harry’s curt nod.  Right now, they were playing against each other and the other two.

Near the need, Louis was the only judge sat, while Simon, Harry and Sharon still stood with their acts.  Ash was safe and he was sure Dynamic Creatures would be the final name, leaving Angie and Noah to fight for the final spot. 

“The final name safe and returning next week is… Dynamic Creatures.”

Louis wanted to pat himself on the back for getting it right.  Simon walked down the stairs, smile at Louis, who would have flipped him off if they weren’t live.  He was sure the cameras were focused on the two acts on stage but he didn’t want to risk it. 

He gave Harry a thumbs up when walked to his seat.  The lad just rolled his eyes but he just smiled wider.  He knew Harry was freaking out for Noah.  He’s never seen any of the judges work themselves up like Harry did when he had an act in the bottom.  He cared for the girls but Harry’s dedication was something different, almost like he would hate and blame himself if Noah left.  He was like that last year but he had to remember that he did the best he could do and his acts did the best they could do. 

When it came to voting, Simon forced him to pull a deadlock. Angie was great last night but fell apart just now and Noah was decent in both performance—better right now and it wasn’t a question who he was going to pick but Simon voted Noah, probably trying to get Harry down to one like he or to make him make a very difficult decision.  It wasn’t in his mind but everyone knew the judge that got the last say got the shitty decision.

“Okay, first, I just want to say you both have improved so much since the start and I couldn’t be prouder.  I have to be honest that this sing-off has confused me a bit.  Noah, I’ll be honest, last night wasn’t your best but you redeemed yourself just now.  Angie, you have been great to listen to but at times you either don’t pick the right song or your performance wasn’t as good as we know you can do and because I feel like Noah won the sing-off, I have to take it to deadlock, so I’m sending Angie home.  I’m sorry.”

He sighed heavily, dropping back in his chair.  He ignored Simon’s clearly staged shock look.  He can’t pretend that Angie deserved to stay. 

“Okay, so…”

He looked at Noah and then Angie, who were holding hands.  He saw that Noah was shaking.

He didn’t realize that he was holding his breath until let out a big exhale when Zayn said Angie’s name.  It still made him feel like crap when he was the one who picked the person to go home.  As much as he wanted one of his girls to win, he wasn’t inconsiderate to the other acts like Harry hinted out all those weeks ago.  He just didn’t want to be _the_ reason Harry lost Noah.  Though, like the first time, he assumed Harry would be fine.

For the first time since the start, Harry followed Louis into his room, smiling.

“You know, you should be thanking me,” Louis smirked as he shrugged off his blazer.

“Mmm?” Harry hummed, as he walked to Louis.  “And why should I?”

Louis was silence with a quick kiss before Harry pulled back, arching his eyebrows.

“I voted Angie, who I thought deserved to go home, not Noah to piss you off.”

It wasn’t new.  He didn’t do it after that night Harry yelled at him.  He was just being cheeky and wanted to see what Harry would do know.

“Well, you are a proper judge now.  Thank you.”

Louis heard the teasing tone in the lad’s voice and the smirk.  He pulled Louis to him and Louis had to think how he would never have thought he’d end up here when he first heard Harry was joining the show.  He would never admit it, but from the first live show, something changed and it was just building up.

Harry walked Louis back until his legs hit the sofa.  He fell down and before he could realize what he was doing, Harry straddled him.

“If you let me, I’d like to show my appreciation.”

Louis knew they were just teasing but this moment felt strangely intimate and before he could comment, Harry was pushing him back.


	13. Live Show: Week Eight & Nine

The point of hating someone was to actually not let your guard down and let them suck you in with their spell.   He thought it was simple.  It worked for years.  It worked for the first two months but like someone who let themselves to be sweet talked, and disregarded what happened in the previous four years, he fucked himself.

It was week eight and the realization that the end was near, and his boys had a chance to win hit him hard.  There was the risk that the boys would fall victim to the pressure or he would suggest the wrong songs for them.

Right now, it was the beginning of the week and he was supposed to meet Ash but Louis found him first and cornered him.  In public and didn’t move to hide him.  Actually, since week six, he felt a shift in their relationship.  If you could call it that.  It was a little more than sex he would say.  If he was allowed to tell Niall, the Irish lad would largely disagree and claim Harry went mental.  He’d understand why but he also had to disagree.  Niall wasn’t here.  Only heard stories and they were the abbreviated versions.

“Do you ever have the feeling like the other acts are judging you?” Harry asked after Louis’ story of what Sharon said to him after Angie was eliminated.

“Kind of.  But I’m sure they all do that.  I do that with Simon.”

“Yeah but you two hate each other.”

The shorter man just shrugged and leaned back against the wall.  “It’s a competition.  You don’t through this without judging the other judges and acts.  I admit that I do.”

“Huh.”

That really wasn’t shocking news.  As he said, he and Simon have been at it for years.  He and Louis have too and now it was almost like it was just Simon.  Well, he hoped.

He didn’t expect them to be mates after this.  They were against each other again and Louis may hate him if he lost Ella and Laura to Harry’s boys.  There was also the fact that Harry wouldn’t bend completely until he got an apology.  He just wanted to know what he did and for Louis to admit that he was wrong.

His mind was getting a little muddled right now.  Focusing on the boys and adding a nice Louis into the mix was a recipe for this to blow up in his face.  His attraction to Louis and his opinion on him were fighting against each other.  His heart and mind were at war with each other and all Niall knew was that they were talking more and Louis was giving his wanted attention.

“I guess that makes sense.”

“Ha.  Please, you probably just hated the acts that were mean to you.”

Harry flushed; it was true.  Matt and Ezra for sure.  He almost expected Louis to bring up Ezra.  He wanted to ask him what was he thinking but he didn’t want to start a fight.  And doubt that the man would give an honest reason.

“Maybe.  It doesn’t really matter now, I guess.  Close to the end and-”

“You could be right,” Louis said with a smirk.  This really wasn’t an all that interesting of a conversation.  They were just talking about the show and he wanted Harry to share stories because he felt like a creep when he Googled the boy.  Harry would say differently.  He searched Louis all the time and stalked his Twitter.  A teenager with a crush can be dangerous.  Now, he did all the research he could do.  There was nothing new now.

“So, has Zayn calmed down yet?”

Louis felt himself staring at Harry’s profile when the lad turned his head to look down the hall.  He didn’t realize that he was talking until he heard his name being called.

“Louis?”

“Huh?  Sorry?”

Harry smiled.  Louis was cute when he looked confused and he took a moment to think about how they got this point.  They weren’t friend by any means but he wasn’t running away and Louis was looking for him.  Well, actually, they kind of just would run into each other.  Louis and he were just not avoiding each other as much anymore.

“I asked how was Zayn?”

“Oh.  He’s good, I guess?”

“Okay?  You’ve just been banging on about him and Liam, and now that they are engaged…” he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders.

“Oh, yeah, he’s good.  Kind of came late last Saturday and Sunday.”

In reality, he kind of didn’t care that Zayn disappeared with Liam or was late.  It gave him more time to hang out with Harry.  Not that he would _ever_ admit that. 

“Mmm,” Harry hummed, biting his lip when Louis just stared at him.

“You know,” the older man started, taking a step closer, looking down the hall.

“Yes?”

His breath caught in his throat as Louis took a step closer.  This was exciting and dangerous.  He knew why Louis wanted to hide them.  He understood why.  It would be a scandal that two of the judges had a secret affair as the show went on.  He didn’t want to be the centre of that news and he knew Simon would not appreciate such attention

He parted his lips when Louis’ breath brushed over his face.  He was about to close the distance when they heard a door opening and closing, startling them out of their little bubble.  They pulled apart just in time before Noah walked towards them.

“Hi, Harry.  Louis,” the boy smiled, oblivious to what he almost walked in on.

“Hi, Ash,” Louis said, saving Harry from the awkward stuttering that bubbling to his lips.  “Have any songs I should warn my girls about?”

Ash chuckle, stuffing his hands in his coat pockets.  Harry knew he was a little nervous.  Harry still claimed that Ash was the boy that was going to be the last act for Harry.  There was the time a few weeks ago where Ash took a song before Laura got the chance.

“Not yet.  Haven’t thought of one yet.  Hoping today.”  He looked at Harry and smiled.  Harry finally collected himself and returned the smile.

“We’ll pick today.  I’m sure of it.”

Yesterday wasn’t horrible.  He just spent hours with Noah and Ash, tossing around song ideas.  He thought they had it before their time was done but both struggled with their choices.  They ended up axing the songs and now they were starting over.

“Well, I’ll take that as my cue to leave.  Good luck, Ash.  See you later, Styles.”

Harry thought for a moment that Louis would say his name when he paused but he was just getting his hopes up.

The two watched Louis walk down, he felt Ash’s eyes on him.  He thought the boy would comment on how he was openly staring at Louis but when he turned the boy just smiled and asked if they could start.

“So, are we starting now?”

The man flushed when he realized Ash walked in on them talking and watching as Louis walked away.

“Yes.  Sorry.  We-we can start.”

They walked into the room, taking a seat on the couch.

 

 

*****

 

Louis wasn’t sure what he was doing anymore.  For something that should have been straight forward, it was turning into a mess.

No one could help him.  No one would believe him.  He didn’t even believe himself.  He could have been feeling just so he could feel and say he changed, so he wasn’t that bad of a person.  Even if he truly felt it, he couldn’t.  It would be admitting that he was truly a dick.  Not that he hasn’t heard it before from Zayn, but they were just taking the mick out of each other.  He heard it from Harry’s fans and it hurt.  Not that he was daft enough to claim he didn’t deserve it.  He knew what he did and what he deserved.  Harry’s hatred towards him was found but it when they first met, he was so sweet.

When the media started to write about him, they made it like Harry was an angle and he may have been but he never gave Louis the time of day.  Well, not right away.  Harry tried.  He really did but not wanting to be mates with his competition, he wanted to be as far away from Harry. 

Stupid. Daft.  Mental.  Call it what you wanted, but he knew he hurt Harry. 

A thought that has been invading his mind for weeks was Harry was good competition.  Zayn was right.   He just wouldn’t admit it and he definitely wouldn’t admit it to him.  Zayn would never let him forget it.  Especially when he warned him not to break Harry’s heart a few weeks ago.  He wouldn’t because there was nothing but sex between them.  He didn’t know where that thought came from. 

He couldn’t deny that there was something about Harry.  Maybe something more than being a great shag but for sure not love.  Maybe.  He didn’t know. 

He was contradicting himself and he didn’t like it.  He was sure with what he thought and what his opinions on people were.  He hated Simon.   He didn’t regret leaving his label.  He liked Liam.  He liked Zayn… Most days.  He disliked Harry but he didn’t really. 

His head hurt when he thought of Harry.  This year was for the X-Factor and that was it.  A second year to beat Simon.  Harry Style was a wrench in his plans, but he wasn’t complaining anymore.  Zayn would disagree and he could admit that he was complaining but not as much and he wasn’t about to talk to Liam or Zayn about Harry.  Not yet.  One thing he didn’t want to do was rush anything with Harry.  A man he hated for four years and he was sure Harry was on board with hating him.

He knew he should be focusing on this week.  He was.  He was waiting for Ella to arrive.  They had the song picked but she was struggling with the tempo.  If she didn’t get it today, he might have to suggest a new song, which would be cutting it close.  It was Thursday but Harry did.  His boys were open about them struggling with original song choices and changing with only two days or so.  If Harry could get his boys ready in that time, he could too.  He had three more years on him.  More experience with a rushed deadline.

One thing this show gave him was pressure.  He knew all about it.  Being on Simon’s label, he was always under pressure to finish as many albums as he could.  And he should have expected no difference when it was Simon’s show.

With his new label, he wouldn’t have that. Well, from Liam’s experience. Liam was a year ahead and just finished his _third tour and Louis had a tour each year.  It would be nice to have more than a year between albums.  Harry had four years and he only had two albums so far._

Needless to say: Simon sucked and just wanted to make money off of him.

When Ella walked in, she was smiling after leaving yesterday with a frown.  He was happy to see her in good spirits.  Maybe today would be better and Laura could smash the rehearsals.  He was able to book the studio for longer after bribing Harry.  Actually, all he mentioned that he needed longer with Ella and the boy agreed.  Which, he didn’t expect to go so easily.  Apparently, Noah was getting his song as Ash was.  And Harry had a soft spot for the younger contestants if it was to help.  Also, Louis asked Harry for his help for the first time and he caved willingly.  That part wasn’t mentioned to Louis.

“Hi, Ella.  How are you feeling?”

“Good,” Ella said as she took her coat off and hung it on one off the hooks on a wall.  “I’m feeling a little better today.  Just hoped that I can get this song.”

“I’m sure you can.  If we practice a lot today, I’m sure you’ll be fine.  I was able to book extra time so we don’t have to rush the two hours.”

“Really?” Ella smiled like that was the best news she could have heard today.  “That is amazing.  H-o-ow did you manage that?”

“Got Harry to go a few hours later.”

“Really?  I should thank him when I see him.

He knew Harry talked to the girls like he did with the boys.  Even though they weren’t their mentors, they talked to all the contestants.  It really seemed that Harry and he were the only ones that talked to each act when they caught up with them throughout the weeks.

He just hoped these extra hours would help Ella or help them chose a new song and hoped they got it perfect for Saturday.  He knew the girls probably felt the pressure as they were nearing the end but he didn’t want that to affect their performances.  He knew it couldn’t be helped.  He almost went home two weeks before the finale because he let the nerves get the best of him.

Ella just had to work really hard during these few days and he needed to do his job as a good mentor.

“Okay, let’s start with the song we picked and see where we are at.”

“Sure,” Ella nodded and moved in front of the mic, ready to start.

 

 

*****

 

Harry was walking down the hall, humming a song he was tossing around for his next album.  It wasn’t a new song.  Melody was the same when he thought about it two years ago, he just didn’t have any lyrics for it and he still didn’t.  It was an idea that died as soon as it started.  He knew he could have written it when the idea came.  His second record was when he got more freedom with his songs and this one was all him and one writer, and Louis and his team if they agreed.

It was an idea that his team thought of as they were starting the writing process for his new album at the time.  They had this great idea of collaborating with Louis for a song.  They knew about the feud and even if they thought it was Louis’ team who started it, they thought if Louis agreed to a song, things would mellow out.  Two of the top artists of the decade burring their feud and coming together.

A week later Louis’ team told then ‘no’. 

It was a weird feeling.  It wasn’t like he thought Louis would agree.  He wasn’t hoping for it.  He still wanted nothing to do with him.  Yet, it also could be used to show Louis that he wasn’t the bad guy.  That no matter what, he’d still be behind Louis.

A month later Louis announced his departure from the label after his tour ended.  It was shocking to him.  Not the departure but the hiatus.  He thought after he was ‘free’, he heard Louis say at a party, he’d continue making music.

He that may have been why he didn’t want to do a song with him.  That wasn’t it.  He knew the true reason but it was his sixteen-year-old self making excuses for Louis.  When the answer came back, he realized that Louis and he would never become friends.  Bury the hatchet as some say.  Maybe when they both became irrelevant and no one cared about the feud, they may talk.  Until then, he’d just stick to hating Louis and crushing on him silently.

Speaking of Louis, he hasn’t seen the man since Tuesday.  Not that he had to but it was weird when the past two weeks Louis acted like he sought out Harry.  It was Thursday so tomorrow there was a possibility but he was sure that he’d be going through a Louis free-week.  Which, early on it would be a blessing, now, it was unexpected.  Kind of.  He’d never admit it but when Louis talked to him, he wished that after the series Louis would want to be his friend.

As big as he was on the charts, he’d admit he didn’t have a large friend group.  He had Niall and Ed, kind of.  He usually hung out with Niall’s friend group but not without Niall.  It was fine.  He was happy.  And reality, how many artists hung with all the celebrities they claimed to be friends with?

He talked to Niall last night but as the week grew closer the performances, he found he didn’t have much time for himself.  He found himself being with the boys longer.  He wanted to make sure they were all ready for Saturday and they were practicing for hours.  Also, Harry felt like he couldn’t leave them after only four hours of practice.

He’d say they were ready but he knew Noah and Ash didn’t feel like that and it was his job to help them until they felt sure with their performances.

 

 

*****

 

 

By Saturday, he has yet to see any of the other judges or Zayn.  He got here about three hours early but only the crew members were moving around.  He thought he would run into Louis.  He was always here early, visiting the girls or sometimes the boys if they were all in the same room.  He talked the girls a couple of times and if he had to pick a favourite, he’d say Ella.  Both girls were talented and great but he loved Ella’s bubbly personality.

He never really talked any of Sharon’s acts but that was because he felt like they didn’t trust him because he was only twenty-three and the groups kind of kept to themselves.

“Nice to see you, Styles,” Louis said as he finally appeared around the corner, spotting Harry.  “Was wondering when we were going to run into each other.”

“Same here.  Usually, I always seem to find you when I don’t want to,” he deadpanned, causing Louis to chuckle.

“I’m here now.”

“I know.”

They fell into silence again like last time. Despite them knowing what to say after the show or when they were shagging, having an actual conversation, they were at a lost.

“So, how was your week?  The boys got their songs?”

“It was fine and yes.  How about you?”

“It was okay.  Zayn’s still being annoying and the girls are fine.”

“Getting down to it,” Harry decided to say. 

“It is.  If I’m being honest, I hope Simon’s act goes tomorrow,” was the older lad’s response.  “Rather than you” was left out.  Or it was in Harry’s head.   If he really knew what Louis was thinking, he’d know that he wasn’t thinking of Harry’s boys right now.

Before Harry could reply, Zayn appeared behind Louis.

“I’ve been calling and looking everywhere for you, you dick,” he snapped. “Hi Harry,” he added.  “Come on.”

“Oi, what the hell, Malik,” Louis snapped as Harry just stood there, forgotten.

Instead of replying, Zayn just dragged Louis down the hall.  Louis followed without a struggle and without a glance behind him.

Harry really didn’t get Zayn and Louis’ friendship.  At times, they looked like they wanted to kill each other and then other times they acted they’ve known each other for years.

Instead of dwelling on Louis and Zayn, which they really didn’t deserve, he went off to the boys’ dressing room.

 

 

*****

 

 

When Harry got to his hotel room, he just got changed and into bed.  It was a good show but exhausting.  They were all good and that meant anyone could go tomorrow. 

Noah was better than Ash but Dynamic Creatures was better than Noah and Laura.  The group was creeping up on them.  There were weeks where they weren’t the best and now, they were proving they deserved to be here.

It was exhausting.  Sharon had it easy but that also meant her acts hadn’t made it.  He’d rather go to bed and wake up exhausted than losing the show.  Especially when Louis and some of his fans guessed that his acts wouldn’t have made it this far.

He crossed paths with Louis when they arrived at the arena at the same time. They made awkward small talk before separating when they got to their dressing rooms.

Harry used his time to call Niall, which he didn’t know if it was a blessing or a curse when he just talked about his album release date and upcoming tour.  It was a nice distraction but Harry did want to talk at some point.

“And they were talking about February but I wanted March. I kind of wanted shorter legs.  The last one nearly killed me,” his friend moaned, causing Harry to roll his eyes.

“You’re one tour behind Lou and he's been on hiatus for two years.  If anyone is dying for touring, it’d be him.”

They’ve had similar arguments.  And comparing each other to Louis’ music career or life wasn’t uncommon but this time it sounded more like he was praising Louis, and telling Niall off, instead of joking that he was whining.

The line was silent for a moment before a long and loud drawled out “fuck” came through the speaker.

“Are you fucking him?”

Harry blanched at the question, trying to sound offended.  “No.”

“Then why are you comparing me to him and basically saying I don’t-”

“Jesus, Niall, I’m not.  We always joke like this.”

“We do but this is different.  Since when do call Tomlinson Lou?”

“I-I don’t.”

“You just did like five times in the last twenty minutes.   Is he playing a mind game with you again?”

Harry gritted his teeth.  Louis never played a mind game on him. He was just a prick and didn’t try to hide it.  Now, they were just having sex and getting the pent-up energy from being a judge out.  Yet, Niall’s words swirled in his head. 

Was this a mind game?  Louis didn’t have anything to gain with messing with him.  The public picked the winner and Twitter wasn’t allowed to start a row.

“He’s not.  I can assure you, that. We-um-we just talk more, sometimes.  Before the shows or…After.” Louis never said anything about telling Niall about the meetings before the result shows, just nothing about their agreement.

“He’s sucking you in again,” Niall grumbled and when he said he wanted to talk about the show, he didn’t mean Louis and the burring crush filling him again.

“He is not.”

“It’s fine if you are,” Niall sighed and he didn’t know why, but dread filled him.  He felt like he was failing Niall.  He promised him and himself that he wouldn’t let Louis in and he did just that when he let Louis kiss him those few months ago.  Now, he was letting Louis have him again in a way he vowed never to let happen again.

“I can’t stop you, Harry.  I-”

“Nothing’s happening, Niall.  We’ve only kissed that time I told you and we are just talking,” he said, though he didn’t sound convincing.

This was a mess.  He was a mess.

“Look, Haz, I have to go but I’ll be watching,” he said, back to his cheery self.   It was weird but that was Niall, who could change emotions without any notice, and he finally was off the Louis topic so he decided to go with this gift.

It’s only been eight weeks since they’ve been having this fight and he knew he started this and Niall was just being a good mate but he was twenty-three and they really should be talking about the fun and stress this show was causing and how Niall was ready to murder his record label.  Fun things. Not his emotionally stunted feelings for Louis.

He knew he was getting better but shagging Louis wasn’t helping him.  He was slipping and he didn’t know if he wanted to stop.

 

 

*****

 

 

This was a surprise.  He wasn’t arrogant enough to say this was unexpected.  There was a high probability that this match would happen and now, after Zayn read the names, they’ve made it to that moment.

He was actually surprised they survived this long.  He couldn’t see Louis’ face but he was sure he was just as shocked as he was.

Ella and Ash were in the bottom.  Simon was safe for another week and he had Noah as Louis had Laura.

He knew how this would go.  The decision had to go down to Sharon and Simon, and Harry had a feeling that Simon would pick Ash just to spite Louis.

“Harry, we’re gonna come to you first.  Which act are you going to send home?”

If Ash wasn’t his act, this would be a tough decision.  Both were great in the sing-off but he had to save Ash.  He did like Ella.  A little more than Laura.

“Ella, I just want to say how much I have loved seeing you grow.  You have done wonderfully throughout this show and please believe when I say this: I’ve been a fan of yours since we meet you in Edinburgh and I hate saying this but I have to send you home.”  He took a deep breath and smiled sadly before looking Zayn. “So, the act I am sending home is Ella.”

He hoped people saw how sincere he was.  If he had to pick a favourite to win that wasn’t one of his, it would have been Ella.

“Louis, we are coming to you next.”

“Umm, okay.  Well, I know as we get closer to the end, these decisions get tougher and I know everyone may already know what I’m going to say, but Ash, mate, you been stellar each week and I enjoyed your performance and the energy, and emotion you brought each week.  But you know I have to, so the act I have to send home is Ash.”

“Simon?”

“Okay, I’m going to keep this short.  You were both great during the sing-off but the act I’m sending home is Ella.”

_Knew it._

Sharon was his favourite for the night.  She couldn’t decide and took it to deadlock.  At least Louis couldn’t get mad at him for the results.

Zayn looked nervous as he opened the envelope.  It wasn’t that big of a deal.  They’ve been here before but not with both parts of the alleged feud.  Niall joked about this moment after he signed.  He was waiting.  Though, he was being a little too sure of himself when he fantasized that this moment would be during the finals.

“Ella.  Ash,” Zayn said as he opened the envelope.

He watched as the two were holding hands and he hated this sight.

“The act with the fewest votes and will be leaving the competition tonight is…”

Harry held his breath as Zayn did his usual pause.

“Ella.”

Harry had to cover his mouth to stop from gasping. He looked at Ash who was hugging Ella.  He saw Louis drop his head before meeting his eyes.  He just shook his head as he stood up.

After the show, after he talked to Ash, and Noah, he didn’t get a chance to search for Louis before he was suddenly beside him, pushing him into Louis’s room.

“Lou, I’m so-”

The lad held his hand up, cutting Harry off.  “It’s fine, Styles. Not gonna cry.”

“That wasn’t what I-”

“You can’t deny that this was bound to happen.  I’m sure the fans loved it.”

Harry pursed his lips.  They probably weren’t thrilled with Ella but they liked seeing who would win between the two of them.

“But, still.”  He didn’t know what else to say.  He couldn’t say Ella deserved to stay without offering up another name and they both knew Harry wasn’t about to offer up Ash.

“Whatever,” Louis continued.  “I don’t want to think about tonight right now.”

He cupped Harry’s cheek, pulling him for a rough kiss.  Harry linked his arms around Louis, pulling them closer.

He walked Louis back, letting him fall onto the couch before straddling him.  He slowly rocked his hips, gasping when Louis’s hands fell to his hips, pulling them closer.

“I want you like this. Here,” Louis whispered against Harry’s lips.

This was different.  New.  Louis was giving him control instead of him taking it.

He continued to grind, feeling Louis hardened cock against his.

He had flashbacks of Louis, pushing him over the counter or against the wall.  After eight weeks, they finally made it to the couch. Last week wasn’t a one-time thing.

“Get these off,” Louis gritted, tugging at his waistband.

“Wait.” He put his hand over Louis’.  “I have a surprise.”  He lifted his hips up, pulling something from his pocket.  “Looks who’s prepared now,” Harry smirked as he held up a condom and a package of lube.

Louis grinned, taking the lube and condom, placing it by his leg.

“Up,” he demanded.

Harry didn’t need to be told twice. As he undressed, Louis did the same but he stopped him when he was about to pull his trousers down.

“Let me,” Harry breathed out.  He dropped to his knees, pulling Louis trousers and pants down.

He bit his lip as he looked at Louis’ cock. “Can I suck you?”  He’s hasn’t given many blowjobs.  He’s only had two boyfriends and five hookups, including Louis.  It was always hard to date while you were in the closet and hookup were just as difficult when you added a tour into the mix.

Louis cupped his face, pulling him up to meet his dark eyes. 

“Not tonight, princess.  Want you to ride me.”

Like last time, the words were floating in his head.

“Come on, Styles.”  He held up the lube and guided Harry back.

 

 

*****

 

 

“Isn’t Zayn wondering where you are?” Harry asked, sometime later when they were cleaned and dressed.  Well, Louis had his jacket off, and his sleeves rolled up.

“Sorry?” Louis asked, looking up from his mobile.

“Zayn,” Harry said like he was thick.  “You know, your mate.  The host of this show.  You two are usually together before and during the show.  Doesn’t he wonder where you go after?”

“Oh, umm…” Louis looked stunned for a moment like Harry just asked him to come home with him.  “He’s out with… Liam.”

“Oh, okay?”  He frowned.  For a reason, Louis looked… Off?  It was a question he thought about for a while.  Niall never questioned it, assuming that he was just settling down but Zayn was here.

“Actually, I probably should be going.  Didn’t realize how late it’s getting.”

“But it’s only-”

“Goodnight.  See you next week.”  And like that, he rushed out the door.

“But-” 

“Fuck,” Louis groaned as he walked to his room.  He grabbed his coat and rushed out to his car.

_I'm coming to yours_ , he texted Zayn as he got to the hotel.

He never thought Harry would have picked up on Zayn not being around after the show but he was making too big of a deal out of it, really.  Zayn would tell him so.  He overreacted on loads of things and sometimes irritated his friend.  And maybe it was just a question.  A question he never wanted to think about.

Luckily, Liam’s arrival helped the story and it really wasn’t a lie.  Zayn took Louis absence just fine.  He was always with Liam and pissed when Louis came back.

_No, you’re not!_

_Yes.  I am.  Get dressed or whatever._

He rushed into the lift before it closed.  He really wished Zayn gave him a key.  Zayn may ignore him.

He got to Zayn’s, knocking loudly.

“Louis,” Liam smiled as he opened the door.

“I’m assuming Zayn here.”

“He is.  He-”

“I told you not to come here.  I told you during the show or did fucking Harry make you dense?”

“You can get back to fucking later.  I want to talk.”

“We are not fucking,” Zayn snapped when the shorter lad pushed past.

“Your bare chest says otherwise.”

“You’re unbelievable,” Zayn muttered, ignoring the comment. 

Liam bit his lip to hide his smile.  It was kind of funny how Zayn reacted when he didn’t get his way and when he was on the receiving end of the anger.

“I know why you’re here.  You’re pissed that you lost Ella and to Ash to make it worse.”

That was… Actually, for once, he wasn’t whining to Zayn about losing.  Or about Harry. It was about Harry but not for the reason Zayn probably thought.

“Harry finally won and is surprising us all, and then you fucked him.  Anything else or did I summarize what you were going to say?”

“What’s up your arse?”

“Liam and I were having a fucking conversation about-”

“Sex?” Louis smirked and Zayn looked livid.

“Get out.  I’ll talk to you tomorrow but now the adults are talking,” Zayn said as he shoved Louis to the door. 

“Oh, come on-”

The door slammed in his face, causing Louis to smirk.  Zayn could never stay mad at him for long and this hadn’t even been the worst.

_Your fiancé has a fucking problem_

Liam just texted a smiley face and an “I know”, followed by a “you didn’t help though” _._

Instead of replying, he just pocketed his mobile and went to his room to have a long shower.

 

 

*****

 

Sunday night found Louis in Harry’s room, two hours before the show.  The two were on the couch, Harry staring intently at the older man, while he met the younger man’s eyes.  It’s been five minutes and all they have done was greet each other.  Louis did, Harry asked why Louis was there.

All week, unlike last week, Louis tried to find Harry.  He needed to talk to him and after he _finally_ cornered Zayn into talking, he realized some things.  Some things he wasn’t willing to admit and something he needed to share with Harry.  But not tonight.   He’d admit that he liked the lad’s company.  Only to himself.  Zayn thought he sank so low to where he and Harry were shagging before the show.  It hurt that he thought that little of him but he also didn’t give Zayn a reason to think otherwise.   He also didn’t bother to correct him. 

Next week was the end and he didn’t feel like starting anything new.  If Harry won, he’d have to admit defeat.  He would.  He’d give Harry the recognition he deserved.  If Harry wanted to hear it.

It was odd that after all these weeks, he now wanted Harry’s attention and not in a negative way.  He wanted this to continue.  He wanted to change but if he said anything to Harry now, he wouldn’t take him seriously.  Not that he blamed him.  He deserved it and he knew he caused this.

He was deep in thought when Harry cut in, startling him.

“So, are you nervous about tonight?”

Louis looked to man, who was smiling softly.  After it was clear that Louis wasn’t leaving, they just fell into silence until now.

He studied Harry, shocked that they were having this conversation.  He’d admit that he was a dick in the beginning and counted this moment out.

After tonight, he could be out or Simon.  The one thing that a sure thing was that Harry would be here next week.

“Nervous, obviously.  Anyone could go home at this point.”

“Mmm.  Same.  Noah and Ash were both great but you never know what will happen,” the younger lad shrugged.

“You’re going to be here next week, so what are you worried about,” he teased, hoping his voice sounded light and not judgmental.

“That may be, but it’s not guaranteed that Ash and Noah will both get through.”

He’d never admit it to Louis but he felt like Ash was slipping.  Last week and last night weren’t his greatest and this was tonight where it would be reviled who went on as the top three.

“Okay, Styles, I see your point.  But I have to say, I'm impressed.  You’ve proved all of us wrong.”  _Impressed me_ , was left out. 

Yes, so many people were rooting for Ash and Noah, but Harry helped get them here.  There were four acts left and Harry had two.

“Thanks,” he muttered with a small smile.  He could take the compliment as what he wanted to be but he knew Louis was impressed but still questioned his success here.

That was the problem when you spent years fighting online with someone when you actually changed your opinion on them, they didn’t believe them.

Harry didn’t believe Louis even though he was cheering for Ash or Noah if Laura didn’t win.  And not just because he didn’t want Simon’s act to win like Zayn thought when they had their long talk.  Harry was proving his talent and after these past few weeks, he realized that he wasn’t the threat he thought. 

He may talk to Harry after the show concluded or when he came back from hiatus and saw where he stood then.

“You’re not the only one surprised.  I am also.  Never expected that I would get my acts this far when I had Louis Tomlinson playing against me.”

He knew Louis was more surprised than impressed.  He surprised himself when he signed on for this year.  After the fight with Niall, he argued that this could prove that he could rival Louis.  Years ago, this would have been a dream to work with the singer.  Now, he wanted to fight and prove himself.

“Well, I’ll admit that I did doubt before but-”

“You’ve always doubted me.  That’s nothing new,” Harry cut in.  It what he always wanted to hear but it wasn’t in the place he wanted to.  At an award show preferably.

Louis pursed his lips, not knowing what to say to that.  Harry was right but that was what Zayn laughed at.  He was being sincere right now but it was too late.  Right now.

“You know, when I was younger and when you were first starting, I begged my mum to see you at O2.  I said it could have been my birthday and Christmas gift for the next three years.”

Harry smiled sadly at the memory.  It was the one thing he really wanted but never got.  His mum and Gemma told him they tried.  He was over it but in school, Louis, unintentionally helped him.

“I never got to go.”

Harry looked down at his clasped hands.  He could feel Louis’ gaze.  This wasn’t a story he planned on telling but the moment felt like it was the perfect time.  Louis was telling him that he’s impressed him but Harry wanted him to know that he’s always been supporting him.

Louis swallowed harshly.  He knew Harry had been a fan of his. In the lad’s earlier interviews, he always said that he was a massive fan.  He even lied after it was announced that he would join the X-Factor and was asked who was his favourite act from past years.  He now knew it wasn’t a lie per sea as Harry clarified that even though he and Louis were at odds, he was still his favourite.

“But the Brits made up for it,” he said, bursting Louis’ bubble.  He wasn’t sure but he was positive that Harry was just joking now.  He couldn’t imagine that Harry still looked back on that night and smiled.  He shuddered at what he did.  He shagged and left, and then sent the now infamous tweet.

He chuckled which made Louis think he was actually joking or trying to force some humour into a shitty situation.

“Anyway, it’s in the past.  Next week is the last week and we’ll finally see if it’s another repeat from last year or a true Tomlinson and Styles showdown.”

Before Louis could respond, Harry continued.

“I think we should get ready.  It’s an hour until we have to meet the others and I’m sure Zayn is looking for you.”

“He knows I’m here,” he said before realizing what he actually said. 

“Really.  You told Zayn that you are here willingly?”

Harry stood up and walked to the closet that had his outfit for tonight.  It was nice.  Simple but very Harry.

“Umm.  Yeah.”

He didn’t see the big deal in Zayn knowing, the bloke didn’t care but it also could sound weird to Harry.  At least he didn’t know that Zayn knew about their arrangement.

“I’m, uh, going to get changed.  I’ll see you later.”

Louis rushed out of the room without another word.  He didn’t see Harry’s puzzled face or Zayn who he ran past.

“What the hell?” Zayn’s voice called out, stopping Louis. 

“I have to get ready,” he said as he continued without stopping.

 

 

*****

 

 

The night was dragging for Harry and Louis.  For different reasons but both wanted to just get this torture over with.

The performances were good but Harry only half paid attention and Louis zoned out completely.  He wondered if it was noticeable at home but when there was an act on, the cameras barely focused on the judges.

Louis spent the time thinking back to Harry’s room.  To their time together throughout this series.  In the moments where they weren’t fucking, he got regular Harry.  Or the Harry from the interviews.  He wasn’t sure if it was an act anymore.  He knew in this industry that people could lie for years and no one would call them out.  At the same time, when they first met, Harry was this shy and cherry new singer.  The shyness was now gone but he was just as happy as he was when he was nineteen.

The only time he saw the mask slip, if he was even trying to hide his displeasure, was when he was seen with a rumoured girlfriend or just girl.

While the models smiled brightly, Harry looked in pain or just right out miserable.  For someone who wasn’t out, he wasn’t hiding it well.  Which made him wondered why his team forced him into those stunts.  Anybody with eyes could see that Styles wasn’t present in the pictures.  

During a break, he looked over at Harry, who was talking to Simon and looking very uncomfortable.  He then turned and caught Zany’s eyes, who just squinted and crossed his arms, clearly pissed.  Maybe it was from earlier or he could tell he was miles away from the show.  He’d have to talk to him after.  After he saw Harry.  Unless he lost an act.

Before long, the results were read and Noah and Dynamic Creatures were in the bottom.  He wanted to send Noah just to piss Simon off, but if there was anything he actually took from Harry was that the acts were to be left alone.  Not that he would actually do that.  Well, not this far into the show or after his talk with Harry.  When he looked back, he’d admit that he was a little ashamed that he was that petty with his feud with Harry that he dragged the acts into their drama.

Both acts were amazing in the sing-off but Noah wasn’t his best last night and he could tell Harry and the boy knew after he performed.

Simon, of course, sent Dynamic Creatures through and Harry would do the same thing with Noah.

“Well, Noah, I have to say how proud I am right now.  You have grown so much from that boy we saw in London and each week was a surprise.  And I can’t say how much I loved hearing you sing each week.”  Harry paused before addressing the group.  “And Dynamic Creatures, you have impressed me each week.  You have grown so much and these last past weeks were some of your best performances.   As much I have enjoyed you, lads, I have to stick with Noah.  So, the act I am sending through is Noah.”

Louis wondered if the judges’ order was planned or if Zayn just wanted him to go last since it was between Simon and Harry, and Zayn didn’t approve of his arrangement with Harry.

If he sided with Simon, Noah would go home.  If he sided with Harry, then there go into Dead-Lock.

It was hard.  It wasn’t like it was an obvious choice.  Both acts had weak weeks and great weeks and last night the group was just a little better than the lad.  Tonight, they both were stellar.

He knew Simon would be pissed if he sided with Harry.  He was sure the two were working against him.  That wasn’t the case but it was tempting to act like it.  He knew Harry would hate him too but he did still have Ash, and he had to know this had to come.  Both Noah and Ash couldn’t win.

“Well, lads, I’m going to sound a bit like a broken record but you both have been amazing since the start.  Noah, for being so young, you have proven yourself to all of us and should be so proud of yourself for making in this far.  Dynamic Creatures, I have to say, for a group, you were so coincident.  Sometimes with groups, there is one that will suffer, causing the group to suffer and there are performances where everything just sounds brilliant and you lads have done that.”

He wished he could see what Harry was doing or could read his mind.  He didn’t care much about Simon.  He’d either be pissed or smug.  Harry never showed his emotions when his acts were in the sing-off.

“And as much I wish you both could go through, I have to go on with who I think had more consistent weeks and I’m sorry, but the act I believe deserves to go through is Dynamic Creatures, so the act I am sending through is Dynamic Creatures.  I’m sorry, Noah.”

There we some boo’s and cheers and just was glad the decision was made.

He looked up at Noah as he talked to Zany with Harry standing beside him, smiling fondly.

He smiled softly at Harry praising Noah.  He knew they all felt that way about their own acts but there was just something about Harry.  He wasn’t that much older than him when he joined but Harry only had four years under him.  He only had two albums but he now understood why his fans fought with his own so passionately or why Niall got into it with Zayn two years ago at the iHeart Radio Music Awards.  He thought it was funny at the time but now he realized that this has gone far past a casual shag on Sunday nights and he didn’t know how to handle it.  Next week they would be done and he didn’t know if he wanted to try anything now.

He was pushed out of his thoughts when Zayn closed off the show and was now standing in front of the table.

“You ready to go?” the host asked as the sound of people leaving echoed around the stadium.  “Or do you want to find Harry?”  he winked and laughed at Louis’ scowl.

“Not right now.”

He pushed up from his chair and hurried backstage where the crew members were running around.  He looked around but Simon and Sharon were nowhere in sight, and neither was Harry.

“Did you see where Harry went?”

“No.  He left with Noah and the others.  You were lost in your own world.  He’s probably with the boys or in his room.  Want to go check?”  Zayn smirked and led the way down the hall.

“Wait!  What are you doing?” Louis asked as he hurried after his friend.  “I don’t want you to come.”

“Oh relax.  I’m just going to congratulate him and then leave you two to it.”  He winked as he said the last part but he didn’t know if Zayn just leaving Louis with Harry would make the lad suspicious.

“Wait.  You can’t.  What if he-” he was cut off as Zayn knocked on Harry’s door.  “What if he’s with the boys or if he-” he was cut off again when the door opened, revealing a surprise Harry when his eyes landed on Zayn.

“Umm.  Hi.”  He looked at both lads with his phone to his ear.  “I’ll call you back,” he said into the phone and hung up before he got a response.  “Sorry.  Umm, what-”

“We didn’t mean to interrupt anything, Zayn said, in a voice, Harry has only heard directed to him during the show.

“It was nothing.  Just my sister.” Harry offed, which he didn’t know why.  He didn’t owe them an explanation.  “Anyway, can I help you with something?”  He looked to Zayn and letting his eyes linger on Louis.  He knew what the younger lad was thinking but he was going to have to lie.

“I just wanted to congratulate you on getting your act this far.  I’m sorry about Noah, you proved yourself with how you got this far with two.  And I’m sorry I doubted you until now.”

Harry just looked at Louis and then to Zayn.  He looked skeptical like it was a joke and he wasn’t falling for it.

“Right,” he drawled out.  He looked at both as if he was waiting for the punchline.  At school, this was the type of shit he got in school.  He was always naïve to fall for this act; thinking people were actually changing.

“No, I mean it.”

“Well, thank you.  But I’m still against Louis.  The fans probably love it.”

Harry didn’t see the look Louis and Zayn exchanged, instead, he stepped back into his room.

Louis took a step into the room but back out when Harry walked over in his coat.  He closed the door and shouldered his bag as he turned to both of the men. 

“Do you need anything else?”

“Uh, no,” Louis said.

“Okay, well, I’ll see.”

Louis watched as Harry disappeared down the hall before Zayn spoke.

“That was weird, right?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe it was weird that you wanted to come here and congratulate him after all this time.”

“Oh, right, I almost forgot that it’s only weird if it’s anything but you fucking him.”

Louis gritted his teeth.  It wasn’t just sex anymore but he knew Harry didn’t like Zayn and right now, he probably thought that Zayn was pulling a joke or something.

“Let’s just go.  I want to rest before tomorrow and start the week of no rest.”

“Or in other words, since you’re not getting sex, you have no reason to be here.”

The singer didn’t dignify Zayn’s dig with a response and just headed to his room.


	14. Live Show: Week Ten - Saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I am so sorry for the delay. I had this chapter finished but sadly my laptop died and like an idiot, I didn't save this chapter or the next. I was just frustrated and had to take a break but I promise the next chapter won't take as long as this one. I already am halfway done. 
> 
> Again I am so sorry if this chapter feels rushes and I am sorry for any mistakes.

“You should go.  Get re-ready,” Harry panted out, trying to catch his breath. 

Louis smirked down at the flushed boy.  “Mm-mm.  We still have time.”

He wanted to push Louis off but the older man captured his lips again.  It was weird.  It was Saturday night; tomorrow this would end.  As much as he needed to get ready, he knew he would never get this again after tomorrow so excuse him if he wanted to be a little reckless.

He mind was running a mile a minute thanks to his talk with Niall last week.  He couldn’t concentrate on anything until Louis left his room

It was after Sunday last week.  Harry spent all his time working with Ash and thinking about Louis.  It wasn’t that he was a completely changed singer.  He still saw that man that taunted his mind.  It wasn’t as bad as before but now Zayn was in on it.

One day last week, he spent three hours doing extensive research on Louis and to remind himself why he hated the wanker.  It shouldn’t have been hard but it was.  He only wanted to look at the tweets Louis tagged him in but he ended up down the rabbit hole.  He ended up reading articles from Louis’ X-Factor days, his coming out statement, because leaving with a different bloke from a club almost every night wasn’t enough for the public.

He read reviews on Louis’ music and when he came out.  It wasn’t just Louis, it was the public, the article and Louis’ fans.  But Louis was the one active and made sure Harry knew his place in the music world.

And yet, he found himself ignoring everything when he read up on all the charities he was a part of; what he did for his family and his fans.  It was why he fell for him before. 

It really didn’t make sense.  He vowed he would never fall for his act again and he didn’t.  But he did.  At least he thought he was.  Maybe it was just admiration.  And good sex.  Louis also had a presence when he walked into a room. People notice and it wasn’t his bias showing. 

He felt like he was being redundant.  Niall would gladly agree if he shared half of those thoughts.  The thing was, Niall wouldn’t get it.  He didn’t live Harry’s life.  He didn’t experience his pain.  His solace he found in Louis.  He shared what he wanted to.

Louis was his support after Louis came after the X-Factor.  Which was now proven to be a deadly error.  He never should have based his life over a singer that he had no chance of meeting.  Niall only knew the aftermath.  He wasn’t one of those blokes who bragged about losing their virginity.  He wasn’t about to brag that he was nineteen when Niall, who had no shame in sharing personal information, banged on that he was sixteen and drunk.   Memorable.  He vowed to wait until he was in love.  He’d been telling himself that for years and he really didn’t see an opportunity where he’d share it.  He was always called a ‘puff’ because he loved romance movies and was a romantic.  He didn’t want to give himself to just anybody but Louis, there was something about him and he broke his oath.

He found himself on YouTube, watching a marathon of Louis’ music videos, starting from the start, with the cheesy-ass debut video but it was still better than Harry’s.

His first one was horrible.  Not only was it a love song, but it was also the most cliché thing ever written and the video did not help.  They had tried to sell the straight card then and still try but not a much when he didn’t show interest in his ‘dates’.  He really didn’t know why they still tried.  The worst part was when Louis found it and used it as his ammo for that week.  And all he responded was with a joke.  He thought after years of not giving in, Louis would stop.  He didn’t.  Just like the bullies.  They pushed harder to get a reaction.

When he finished all the songs.  Literally, all the songs Louis' ever performed.  The ones Louis did from his X-Factor audition to the finales.  Yes, Louis was the winner but it was still impressive that after seven years, all the performances were up and his opinion wavered.  At times he was a cocky little shit, which he found endearing.  He had a crush, sue him.  But now, some were arrogant.

What he found was that he already knew all this.  He followed Louis’ career for three years before they met and then the other four were because his team told him since Louis was his competition, he had to say on top of him.  Really, it didn’t work and he just used the follow because he was too lazy to change it.  Anything Louis did was big news.  He didn’t need any subscriptions.

A knock came through the flat, startling Harry to almost knock his laptop off his chest.  He pulled the door opened.  Living in a building of flats usually meant that whoever was knocking was a neighbour.

“Nice glasses,” Niall cheered as the door opened and proceeded to push through.  “Are they new?”

“Not new, Ni and how did you get in?”  He closed the door and followed the intruding man to the living room.

“Mrs. Willson let me in.  Nice lady.  Talked on the way up.  Did you know her cat died?”

“I did.  Gave her flowers.”

Mrs. Willson lived two down from Harry and her late husband left her a shitload of money.  Niall said that she probably killed him to get the money faster.  When he informed Niall when her husband died, Mrs. Willson found out about the affair.  You found out a lot about a person when you are nice and, quiet, and listened.  The look of joy on Niall’s face was hilarious and he confirmed that was the perfect motive.  When Harry reviled that he died from a heart attack, Niall showed he could twist a story to fit his theory.  The lad liked his conspiracy theories.

“I feel sadder for her over the cat.”

He kicked his shoes off and tossed his coat over his shoes.

“Really, there’s a-” Harry started when he moved Niall’s coat and shoes but he was cut off.

“Anyway, I came to see you before I leave,” Niall continued, sighing in theatrics as he walked around the sofa and dropped down.  “Even though we still have the—hey!  Is that Louis?” 

He reached for the laptop but Harry was quicker and slammed the lid hard.  Cringing at the thought that he may have broken it.  Wouldn’t be the first time.

“No.  It’s not.  And you were saying?” he prompted but Niall’s interest seemed to have changed.

“No.  No.”  He picked up the laptop off the table.  Harry regretted giving him his password.

“Niall, it really is nothing.”

“I say otherwise.  Jesus.  Have you been doing this all morning?’  the Irish lad scrolled through his history, completely violating his privacy.

Harry grabbed the laptop but Niall fought back and he really wasn’t in the mood to break another laptop, courtesy of Niall.

“So, what?  He’s competition.  I do the same with Liam and others.” It was a weak argument and a total lie.  Well, sort off.  Anything that included Louis was completely fabricated.

“And yet, there has been nothing about anyone but Louis and the X-Factor.  I mean, it’s expected.  You can’t hide a ten-year crush forever.  I say it’s-”

“Don’t you fucking end it with ‘cute’,” Harry warned with a pointed finger and a stern voice.  “And where did you get ten years?  It’s only been seven.”

It wasn’t like Niall didn’t know he still Googled Louis.  He did the same and sent Harry the new articles when Harry was too embarrassed to search for the news himself.  That stopped two years ago but now because of the show and seeing Louis every week, he was back to his disgusting hadith.

He knew Louis didn’t do this so why was his crush resurfacing?

“Really?  Felt longer than that.”

“Well, if it were true, you’d have more than four albums and I would hate myself if Louis was around that long.”

He really did hate having Louis around.  As long as he stayed away and let Harry admire him from a distance.  Until another tweet or an award show where he lost came around.  Just a never-ending cycle and would stay that way until one of them became forgotten, and fell off the face of the earth.

And the question was, why was he letting Louis back in?  He knew that come Sunday night their little friendship—fuck-buddies arrangement—would end.  Louis would go back to his tweets and Harry would go back to trying to get out of Louis’ shadow.  That was if he won or if he didn’t, Louis would most likely stay the same.  And yet, Harry craved it.  Louis was acknowledging him.  Mostly from he didn’t want but after idolizing the bloke for seven years, he’d take anything. 

“Okay, a seven-year crush, no matter the time—being with him around, he probably makes it harder to keep your legs together.”

“I don’t have a crush,” he argued but Niall looked through his computer and that really wasn’t helping his case.  “And four of those we hated each other.”

“He hated you,” the man corrected.  “You probably still wanked off to Louis when you were with Daniel .”

“I did not!”

“Mm-hmm.  It’s not like he didn’t deserve it.  And it’s not like you were cheating.  He did.”

“You know, some people consider porn is cheating.”

“Pff.  Those people need a life.  I bet most people fantasize about someone else at least once.  And you didn’t really deny it.  Just probably did it when you were single like a good boy.”

“And this is why you are single.”

“But I am right.  The blush on your face says everything.  Even after what he did—is still doing?” he amended.  “Harry, you slag.  Probably think about how it would be rough, hard and intense.  Hate sex is hot."

Harry made a face.  Yes, he’s gotten off to Louis in the past years—weeks and Niall’s description was… Somewhat right. It wasn’t something he wanted to share.  Niall always asked for too many details, much more than he was willing to share.

“Do you get off thinking about me and another bloke?  Why don’t you just come next time?”

“Yes!” the singer cried with excitement.

“Jesus Crist, Niall.  I was joking!  And aren’t you straight?”

“Doesn’t mean I’m opposed to the porn.  And you and Louis would be hot.  You’re taller but so submissive and Louis is-”

“What the fuck, Horan?” the taller lad cried and grabbed his laptop.  This time getting it successfully.  “Do you have something to tell me?  You know, I won’t judge.  Kind of be a hypocrite if I did.”

“Oh, fuck off, H.   I liked it better when you got so flustered when I teased but now you hold your own and I don’t like it.  You’re growing up so fast.”  He sniffled and whipped a fake tear.

“Will you please be serious for once?  And I’ve asked multiple times and you have yet to answer.”

“Well, you know me.  You’re just so easy but I can listen.  If you want.  Do you want to talk now or can I go?”

Harry tossed the idea of Niall going first but he was sure if his Irish friend got the honour he wouldn’t shut up anytime soon and, in that time, Harry would probably have a breakdown and back out.

What he wanted to say wasn’t anything new.  To anyone but Harry, it would have been but he was sure he didn’t hate Louis.  After that night, he had been deeply hurt and it continued until this day.  But feelings were being ignored now.

“You know what?” Niall started, cutting in because Harry was taking too long.  “Just fuck Louis when you see him again.  Like you did before.”

“What?” he nearly shouted; eyes wide.  He felt his blood run cold and his heart stop.  He was sure he didn’t tall his mate what he and Louis have been doing. He’d been so careful.  Obeying what Louis wanted.  He didn’t slip.  He couldn’t have.

“Well, clearly you’re gagging for it and if Louis is willing too, go for it.  This time, be the one to leave.”

“Are you encouraging me to have sex with the man that hates me?”

“Well, it’s sex.”

“And what if I don’t want that?” he asked hesitantly.

Louis was already creeping back into his heart and if he wasn’t careful, he’d be in for a rude awakening.  Preferably from Niall.  The scary part was, Louis didn’t know or maybe he did.   He’s changed a lot in the past three months.  They were hanging out more before and after the shows.

“Well, what do you want, Haz?”

Niall stare was soft but he felt so scrutinized with what he was about to say.  Niall was his only friend and he did need him to hate him when it was so close to the finish.  If Louis rejected him, he’d need him.  If he lost, he’d need him.  Gemma and his mum didn’t know of his crush on Louis.  Though, he had a suspicion that Gemma actually did know.  He’d have to ask if he grew the courage to.

Harry bit his lip and met Niall’s eyes, hoping the look was enough of an answer.

“Are you sure?”  the blond’s face scrunched up and Harry felt pathetic that this was happening.  After seven years, he was back here.

“Well, no.  Not really but it’s nice being around Lou.  It’s what I always wanted.  And no sex would be fine,” he rushed out before Niall could chime in.  “Yes, I had a massive crush.  Yes, I shagged him but I always just wanted to just be his friend and that’s what’s happening.”

“And you love him?” the lad asked, trying to catch up and keep up with what his friend was saying.

“I don’t think I can love him after what he did to me.  Not right now.”

Fucking lie!

He was already teetering on the edge of that cliff. 

“You know, you don’t have to lie.  It’s your life and I won’t judge.  I won’t understand it and think you are completely mental but-”

“Isn’t that judging?” he asked as he shifted on the couch to screech his legs out.  Niall glared and moved to the armchair, giving Harry’s annoyingly long limbs space.

“Maybe but I won’t say it.”

Harry tipped his head back, resting it on the armrest.  He pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned.  It was so hard lying to Niall.  He’d just wished he’d just accept and leave it at that.

“I’m not in love with him, Niall.  I meant what I said about it being too soon.  I may have the slightest crush but it’s hard not to when he’s giving you all his attention.”

“No wonder you want to fuck him again.  Or fuck you.  Almost forgot you were a bottom.”

Harry’s mouth drop.  Niall was something else at times and it was sometimes too much.  This was one of those time.

“W-what the—fuck.  I thought you weren’t going to judge,” he spat hotly.   “And I don’t even what to ask how you concluded my sexual preference.”

“Half of the viewers are betting on you two to getting together.  And”-

“We don’t even sit together.”

“Honestly think that’s gonna stop people?  Manips, H.  And from award shows.  It’s 2019!  Fans get creative.  But if you’re opposed, stay away from Tumblr.  It a dark hole and death sentence.  For you.  For me, I love it.”

“You know, Lou said something about that a few weeks ago.”

“Well, he’s up to date.  You should be too.  Apparently, people have shipped you since you first came and the fact that the two of you are gay make it even… Realistic?”

Harry scoffed and rolled his eyes at that.

“And let me guess, you have an account for that, too?”

“No.  Actually.  I’m defending your honour, not falling into a conspiracy theory.”

Harry rolled his eyes but still kept his eyes on the ceiling.  “My hero,” he said, his voice dripping in sarcasm. 

Niall leaned forward and patted Harry’s shin.  He smiled wearily as he loosened his grip.  Harry knew that look and touch.  It never meant what he was about to do was good.  The day it first happened; Harry was telling him about the first tweet.  All he told him was that Louis never did that before him, which meant Harry was the exception and in the years after, he was right. 

“I know your opinion of Louis is wavering and honestly I am not judging.  I just don’t want you to get hurt again.  You’re too good for Louis and he doesn’t deserve your kindness.”

Harry just frowned.  He knew Niall was right.  Louis didn’t.  He knew it but Louis was pulling him in and this time was different.  Louis actually gave him his time willingly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered but he was sure Niall heard it.  “I know we always come back to this and it’s because of me.  I-”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Harry.  I know how much you loved Louis and how much it hurt that night and every time after that.”

“I’m not falling again,” he defended.  But he was.

Niall just sighed like he knew Harry was lying to himself.  “Relax.  As much as I want to reassure you that I will support you if you want to try something with Tomlinson-”

The younger lad just looked at his friend, trying to see the lie in his words.  It wasn’t like sleeping with Louis would change the older man’s feeling towards him. 

Niall has said he wasn’t judging Harry with Louis anymore.  Kind of.  He would have been interested in testing that theory but the thought of Louis fucking a different bloke twisted his stomach.  Louis didn’t do relationships.

“Probably would only help his career,” he sighed and it was probably true.   Louis clearly did no wrong.  He had cussed at paps, gotten drunk and clearly left a club practically screaming ‘I’m gonna have sex’. “And how the hell did we get here?”

 “Okay.  I am going to be serious and listened before you decide.  Why do you do this to yourself?  I know you are this charmer that everyone loves—let me finish,” he warned when Harry was about to protest.  “You are and you let Louis do this to you?”

“Weren’t you the one just saying I’m in control of my life?”

“I was entertaining the idea but if you are actually serious, I don’t see why not.  Yes, he’s been different but did you ever consider that it’s just because you’re the only available chose?”

“He has Zayn and Liam as well.”

“And they are probably off shagging.  So, you’re his only option.  I love you and I don’t want to see you get hurt any more than you have.  Louis never gave you a chance.  All he wanted was sex and the torment started for you.”

“He didn’t force me.  I willingly agreed to it.”

But he never thought that the one night that was supposed to be a dream come true would end up to where they were now.  A night he wished he could take back.

“Never said you didn’t.  It’s what happened after that pisses me off.  As much as you wanted Louis, what he did after just showed he didn’t care.”

Harry was silent for a moment.  He’s thought about that for years and now months and he always brushed off as it was his fault.  Never has someone else pointed that out and, now he couldn’t ignore it.  Well, he could and just finish off the week with Louis.

But why was Louis talking to him now?  Hanging out with him now?  Maybe Niall was right and he was the only option now.  He hardly saw Louis with Zayn.

“Look, you asked for my serious opinion and that’s what I think.  I don’t agree with it and you are gonna get hurt sooner or late if you want this and Louis doesn’t.  He didn’t before.

And that was the scary part.  There was almost a ninety-nine percent chance that would be the answer.  But there was that sixteen-year-old part of him that still clung to that one percent in hope.

“Look, Haz, do what you want.  As I said before, I will be there for you and I won’t judge.  I’ve never been in this position and I can’t voice my opinion.  Well, I can but I doubt you want it and I think it’s been long enough where you can approach this on your own.”

“Umm… Thanks?  I think.  Do you think I’m mental?”

“Oh, for sure.  Falling in love with the man that has made your life Hell… or hard.  Hell is a little harsh.  But if you say Louis is different now, I’ll believe you.  Maybe being twenty-seven finally kicked some sense into him.  But if he breaks your heart, I’m going to kill him.”

Harry may not admit it but his feelings were all over the place.  Louis was messing with him or Harry was looking at it as such.  Maybe Louis never changed but he did and he was falling under his spell.  The only good thing he had was that he had three and a half days to figure out what he was going to do.

Niall looked to Harry who was deep in thought.  He frowned sadly.  He had a sickening feeling that this was going to end badly and he could do nothing but warn his friend and he already did.  Harry just was blind by his own feelings to see that Louis was just using him.  He hoped after this that Louis would finally be the Louis Harry wanted or if it went tits up that Harry realized that he would never change and move one.   For Harry, he hoped it’d be the former but knowing Louis for two extra years he knew it’d be the latter.

Harry gasped, falling back into the present.  He pushed Louis back as Niall’s words echoed in his head.  Louis crawled back, standing from the couch.

“Wh-?”

“We really should get ready,” Harry said as he stood up, walking to the door.

“Really?” Louis smirked and Harry gently pushed him out the door.  “We will meet after though, right?” he winked, causing Harry to roll his eyes.

“What if Laura leaves tonight?”

Even when Louis' acts were eliminated, Louis still came to his room or Louis would drag him to his.

He didn't know if tonight would be different since he would lose the chance of back-to-back wins.

“Will suck but I believe if that were to happen, you'd win over Simon.  Have faith.”  Louis moved forward to kiss Harry quickly, laughing as he took in Harry’s stunned look.  “See you tonight.”

Harry didn’t wait until Louis walked away before he slammed the door shut. He groaned loudly.  Louis was seriously giving him whiplash and Niall’s words were not leaving his mind.

He jumped was a knocked came through the door.  “Shit,” he gasped before going over to the door.

“Sorry I am late.  I had-”

“Niall,” the lad cried excitedly, pulling the blond through the door.

“Woah, Haz.  Calm down.  You’re acting like I-”

“Sorry,” Harry said, cutting Niall off once again. 

He completely forgot that Niall was going to be here today and tomorrow.  He would blame Louis for distracting him but it really was his fault he forgot.  He thought long and hard about his talk with Niall and with hours of rehearsals with Ash, it just slipped his mind.

Niall watched Harry’s movements quizzically.  “You okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah.  Just nervous for tonight.  For Ash, I mean.”

“You have a right to be.  But at least you can say your boys lasted longer than the girls and you got Ash to the top three.”

“Yeah.  I know.  Still, Ash is up against Simon and Louis’ acts.”

“Hey, whatever happens, you proved so many people wrong.  Including Tomlinson.”

They both knew that so many people were sure that Harry’s act would get knocked out very early on.  Louis for sure made to known.  Well, they overheard Louis tell Zayn during bootcamp that he didn’t expect Harry’s acts to last past the top six.

“You’re right.  I’m proud of myself and Ash for getting this far.  But it would still be nice to beat Louis finally,” he added after a pause.

“Yeah, it would,” Niall agreed and walked over to the couch.  “So, tell me, how did this week go?”

Harry smirked and walked over to Niall, dropping down next to him.

 

 

*****

 

 

 

Louis was the last one to join the judges.  He spent the rest of the wait talking with Zayn, who was trying to bring Harry up every minute of the night.  He talked to Harry.  They weren’t mates.  Just enjoying their time together before it ended. 

“Nice to have finally made it, Louis,” Harry smirked.

Louis was about to respond but a crew member interrupted them, ushering them to the stage.  This was it.  Tomorrow was the night that would show if Harry finally beat Louis and as much as his opinion has changed on Harry, he still wanted to win.  But he promised that he wouldn’t rub it in the lad’s nose.  Actually, he wasn’t allowed to but he still would have decided to say silent anyway.

Harry smiled at him as they walked towards the stage.  Before he got far, Louis pulled him back.   He looked around them before pressing his lips to Harry’s.

The kiss was quick and before Harry could respond, Louis was pulling back.

“Good luck, Curly,” was Louis farewell before he followed the other judges. 

Harry just stared where Louis once stood before a crew member walked up.

“Mr. Styles?  You are-”

“Oh, shit!” the lad gasped.  “Thank you, Caleb.”

He didn’t get a moment to himself before the show was starting.  It was just a kiss but it was outside from their room; in public and Niall was here.

He didn’t want Niall here until tomorrow.  He didn’t want anyone to know and Louis was being reckless today.

He just wanted the night to go by quickly. He wanted to know if he had a chance—if Ash had a chance to win.

He mostly just watched the show a best as he could.  The guest performances were good, as well as the group performance was decent.  It was nice to see all the boys back.  How the group acted like they have been friends; he was a little jealous.  Even if they were pretending, he could never do that at school.  One of the big reasons was that he was the freak at school.   He was shy and after Johnathan, Tristian and Matt, he had closed himself to everybody he met.

Niall was an exception.  He just felt calm around Niall and the lad didn’t push him when Harry told him his story.  And Louis almost shattered the small amount of confidence he grew after leaving school and then got signed.

Even at the parties Niall dragged him to, he talked to people he’s meant many times and the people he that were Niall’s friend.

After four years in the business, you’d think Harry would be more confident but he wasn’t, not really.  In safe settings he was.

He felt Niall’s presence here and Louis’ eyes on him during each commercial break.  Which was weird because he smiled or winked each time their eyes met.  He blushed each time when Louis winked at him.  The cameras weren’t on them but the audience could see them or Sharon could catch them.   It was like the kiss Louis gave him earlier.  Either Louis lost his mind or with air that this was the second last show, Louis got reckless.

There wasn’t a lot of time between breaks—well, in his opinion—before the show was starting up again.  In reality, it was the same amount of time each break was.

When they were on the stage and Dynamic Creatures was announced as third place, he almost zoned out.  He couldn’t believe it.   He got Ash to the final show.  He proved Louis—everyone who doubted him really--wrong.  But he had this heavy feeling in his stomach at the realization that he was going up against Louis.  That Laura and Ash were going up against each other.

He barely stepped backstage when a hand clasped his shoulder.  Luckily, he didn’t scream.

“How are you doing, Harry?”

“All right, I guess.”  He turned to see the host smiling softly.

“Well, I’ll say you are clammier than Louis was last year.  He got off the stage and was freaking out that his act was going up against Simon’s.

“Oh, trust me, I’m freaking out on the inside and I think this will be exciting for Louis and the fans.”

Zayn pursed his lips.  He didn’t ask Louis what he would feel if he ended up against Harry.  He knew in the beginning that Louis was looking forward to this match-up.  In the past couple of weeks, they haven’t talked about the final show.

“I think you’d be surprised what people will think if you win.”  What Louis would think, he thought but didn’t say it.  Harry disagreed anyway and Louis didn’t give Harry any reasons to believe them.

Harry still smiled softly, feeling the weight of Zayn’s words.  He wasn’t sure if Zayn was taking the mick out of him or being sincere.

“Probably would ask for a recount or insist the voting was rigged or faulty,” he decided to say, trying to pass the awkwardness he felt with this conversation.  He just wanted to find Niall and then Louis.

Zayn just looked at the taller boy.  Every compliment or argument he made; Harry rebutted it.  He didn’t have hope and he felt the urge to punch Louis for that reason.  He didn’t get a chance to respond as a loud Irish voice cried out.

“Harry!”

And for the first time since Harry walked off the stage, he felt calm.  He bypassed Zayn, feeling bad for just leaving him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Zayn,” he said just before Niall slammed into him, pulling him in for a tight hug.

“You did it!  You fucking did it!”

Harry held tightly to Niall.  He meant to find Ash but the lad had said earlier that his family came tonight and he wanted to go find them.   Now he was here with Niall but wondering if Louis would come to find him.

“I know.  I still can’t believe it.  And I’m going against Louis.”

Even though he felt Louis and his relationship was different now, he hasn’t felt this way since the sixth week, this win meant more than any other time they were up against each other.  There was just the two of them.  At least with the others, there was a chance that someone else would win.

When Niall pulled back, he looked over Harry’s shoulder and frowned.

“Niall, wha-” he looked back and stopped when he saw Louis standing with Zayn.

Zayn was saying something to Louis but the lad didn’t seem like he was listening.

“Harry?”

He didn’t realize that he and Louis were looking at each other until Niall nudged him.

“What are you-”

“I’ll be right back,” Harry rushed out when he saw Louis walking towards him.  He didn’t notice Zayn leaving in a huff when Louis walked away.

“Looks likes old times,” Louis joked.  It’s been over a year since he and Louis were up for the same award.  It was exciting but also made his stomach churn.  He wished he could be as excited as Louis was.  Louis may have changed towards him in the past weeks but that didn’t mean anything when they would be on the stage tomorrow.

 “It does but I’d rather not think about that until tomorrow.”

 _Rather not think about you beating me again_  was what he wanted to say but he didn’t want to.

Louis gave him a small smirk.  His eyes caught Niall’s frown, which turned into a glare.

“Looks like Niall’s not a fan of me,” Louis chuckled.  He understood why.  He didn’t give Niall a reason to like him. 

“He means well,” Harry defended, even though he didn’t owe Louis an explanation.  “Uh… I’ll be right back.”

He walked over to Niall, smiling softly.  He knew that he had to get Niall to leave which was why he didn’t want Niall here.

“I hope you know what you are doing,” Niall said before Harry could speak.  He knew Harry’s opinion of Louis was changing and by what Harry was saying, Louis seemed like he was different to Harry now.  But he needed to see how Louis changed before he changed his mind.

“I think we’ll just talk.  I don’t-”

“Harry, you’re a shit liar,” Niall rolled his eyes.

Harry wanted to laugh.  He knew he wasn’t the best a lying but it’s been ten weeks since Louis and he started shagging and Niall was still in the dark.

“Just, be safe.”

He felt Niall’s hesitation but at the same time Niall can’t stop him and it seemed like Harry was falling for Louis again.  As much as he wanted to say something, he learned a long time ago that he would always lose to Louis.  He had a hold on Harry that he didn’t even think Harry knew about.  He tried before and failed.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Niall said, hugging Harry before walking away before the younger lad could say anything.

Harry knew that Niall still didn’t agree with his change of heart towards Louis.  He also knew that if the secret between Louis and him were to come out, Niall would never forgive him.  He’s been with Harry since the start of Harry’s career.  He knew everything that has gone on with Louis.  But this was Harry’s decision and Niall would be there for Harry when Louis flipped back.

“So?” Harry jumped when he heard Louis come from behind.

“So?” Harry echoed.

“Wanna get out of here?”

“Sure.  Yours or mine.”

“I was thinking of mine.  My room I mean.  I’d rather be comfortable and I want to get out of here.” 

“Umm… sure.”  In all the weeks they’ve been together they’ve never left the arena.

He felt weird when Louis took his hand, leading him to their rooms.  He went into his room and grabbed his coat.  He felt his stomach lurch with the anxiety he felt at this moment.

The time was simple but this was different since he was actually going to Louis’ room.

“Ready?” Louis smiled when they met up outside of his room.

Louis took his hand, leading him out to his car.  This whole night was new territories. 

 

 

Louis’ hotel room was nothing like his.  It was set up like a fucking flat.  Most likely the penthouse.  He’s only been in rooms like these when he was on tour.

“Nice room,” the boy commented as he shrugged off his coat and blazer.  Louis was already rolling up his sleeves and walking into the bedroom.

“Still staying in the standard rooms?” he teased and usually when Louis used that tone, it would irk him but now it was endearing that he noticed. 

Wait?  What?

Louis only knew that when he overheard Harry arguing to the producers over his room choice.

“Not exactly.  We compromised.  Smaller than this.”

He looked to Louis who seemed more interested in Harry’s half-exposed chest.

“I bet you don’t even live in a house.”

The green-eyed boy just shrugged and sat next to Louis.  

“Niall’s always on me about getting a house. A right of passage or some shit like that.  I like where I am.”

“It’s been four years.  I doubt you have to live a beginning artist still.”

“No. I don’t,” he agreed, trailing his eyes up, staring into the deep blue.  “But I’m not flashy like some.”

“No,” Louis agreed, voice lower, still keeping eye contact.  “Your clothes do all the talking.  Being so promiscuous with your open shirts and tight jeans.”

Harry wanted to point out that Louis wore tight jeans and jeggings too but he had to agree about the shirts. Sometimes the patterns were called ugly by the media or Louis fans.  And for him being too feminine.

“Well, I’m not doing it anymore.  Have to be proper for the show.  Won’t be distracting you.”

“Darling, you don’t need to distract me with your clothes.  Biting your lip is enough.”

And he couldn’t tell if the man was joking or still playing.  His heart was already beating faster as Louis' eyes landed on his lips.

Harry didn’t realize that he was biting his lip until he felt Louis’ thumb run over his bottom lip.

“Your breathing it getting harsh, princess.”

Louis ran a finger down his jaw and to his chest.  He pushed the remaining buttons—all two of them—through their holes.

“By your eagerness to get me out of clothes, I say I’m affecting you too.”

“You’re nice to look at, I’ll give you that.”

Harry just rolled his eyes and grabbed Louis chin with his thumb and index finger.

“You do talk a lot of shit, Tomlinson.”  He pulled Louis face forward, sealing their lips in a harsh kiss.  It hasn’t been fifteen minutes and Louis’ already has wound him up so tightly he needed something to calm himself down

“Mmm.  Not entirely true.  Got you in my bed.”

He pulled at Louis’s shirt, making quick work of the buttons.  He pulled the crisp, white material open but didn’t pull it off.

He pushed Louis back, causing him to flop on the mattress.  Louis’ feet dangled over the edge.

Harry sank down to his knees.  Louis stopped him when he unbuckled his belt.

“What are you doing?”

The younger lad just rolled his eyes as he pushed the man’s hands away.

“What do you think?  I want to suck you off.”

Louis just hummed his consent and Harry finally got the button open.  He hoped he was good.  Louis didn’t complain the first time.  And as he said before, he didn’t do this much.

Louis had been his first and after he had gone on tour, he had sworn off sex.  He didn’t need any distractions for his first tour.  After he had gotten back, two months later he had finally tried out dating and had been with a guy for four months before he found him cheating.  In those four months, he’d only blew Daniel three time and had almost freaked when Daniel had tried to rim him.  He didn’t have an idea why but even at twenty-three, the thought still scared him.  Maybe if he had been a regular boy growing up and had been able to explore sexuality, he wouldn’t have been that much of a pussy. 

He had tried dating again with man name Milo.  It had been nice but it had never felt right.  He had finally let him rim him but it had felt weird and he had decided that he didn’t like it.  Also, he wasn’t a name snob but it had been so weird calling Milo when he came.  Luckily, he didn’t have to break up with him as Milo decided he wanted to move back to Scotland.  After that, he had his second tour and an awkward hookup six months ago.

So yeah.  He was too inexperienced but Louis never said anything.

“Fuck.  Then better impress, Styles,” Louis tried to be cocky with his smirk but his breath hitched,

“Of course,” he said but his he didn’t feel as confident as his voice sounded.

He tugged down the man’s trousers and pants, leaving them pulled around his ankles.

Harry decided to tease him first.  He hardly got the chance to control the nights often, so tonight he was starting the night.  It was hot, he couldn’t deny it but he just wanted to take Louis apart once. and he knew this wasn’t going to be the night either but he’d take what he could get.

He wrapped his hand around, stroking the length, causing Louis to gasp.  Harry smirked as he continued to tease.  Louis moved his hand, grabbing Harry’s hair.

“I don’t like teasing.  So, get on with it or I’m taking over.”

Harry just grinned and bent over Louis, pecking his lips.  “Love that you think you can just take over.  Maybe I’ll just let you throw me around.”  He was right but he also did it because he loved being control but with Louis, this was an act.

“Sure, princess.  You have ten seconds before I’m taking over.”

“You really are impatient,” he mumbled as he wrapped his lips around the head and slid down without any warning.  He pulled his mouth back, only leaving the tip before sliding back.

“Fuck.”

Harry hummed, sending vibrations through Louis who pulled Harry’s hair, forcing his head down.  Luckily, he pulled back before or he would have choked.

“St-Styles, I’m gonna come.”

Even when Louis sounded wrecked from the groaning, he still managed to say anything but his name.

“I don’t mind.  You can-”

“I don’t want to.  I want to come in you.”

Harry pouted but Louis pulled him in for a kiss.

“Don’t pout, princess,” he chuckled.  “Can’t have wrinkles for tomorrow.”

Louis took Harry’s moment of distraction to flip them.

“Undress,” he commanded and he kicked his pants of and his shirt off.

Harry quickly followed the command, gasping when Louis pushed him back. 

“Told you, you wouldn’t be in control for long.”

“Whatever.  You know I can literally flip you. I’m just letting take over.”

“You’d like to think.”  He reached over to grabbed to bottle of lube from the nightstand and Harry wondered if that was always there or if Louis had planned this night to end up in with Harry in his room.  He didn’t get long to mull over the thought before a slick finger breached him.

“You get off from catching people of-off?” he moaned the last part.

“Keeps you on your toes, babe.” 

Harry wanted to shiver at being called ‘babe’ but Louis’s done it before and it meant nothing.  What would really mean everything was if Louis called him by his first name. It was like now he was stuck and it was just a habit.  Or he was reading too much into this and not using his name helped to forget what he was doing and whom with.

Harry whined when Louis slid a second and curled them, brushing his prostate.  Even though Louis’ fingers were so distracting, he couldn’t ignore that they were in a bed.  The first time ever and he hoped that he would wake up with Louis  _still_ in the bed.

“Fuck, Lou.  You didn’t want me to tease, so don’t do it to me,” he snapped when Louis slipped a third finger in a torturous pace.

“Well, you always liked the teasing.  What happened, sweetheart?”  His free hand wrapped around Harry, torturing even more.

“You and I know we both want this.  So, get on with it.”

“Of course, we both love it.  You’re in my bed, aren’t you?”

“You're too chatty for someone who was minutes away from coming down my throat.”

“Mmm,” was all Louis said before pulling out.  The green-eyed boy watched intently as Louis rolled a condom on and, in that minute, Harry used his strength to flip them over.

He took the lube and squirted some in his hand and slicked Louis cock.  “Since this is the last night, I would like to be in control.”  The a _gain_ was left unsaid.

Louis bit his lip as his dick twitched.  The determination in Harry’s eyes sent a shiver down his spine.  It was hot and for a moment Louis wondered what it would it be like if this at their home—at a home he shared with Harry.

Louis eyes shot open and pulled Harry down in a deep kiss.  He needed the distraction.  He was thinking too much tonight.

Harry responded before he slid down.  Both groaned at the new position and Harry was sure Louis fingers would leave bruises.

The pace was fast and rough.  Harry promised himself that he would tease Louis but they were past teasing.   This was most likely the last night and he wanted to enjoy it.

“Fu-fuck, Lou,” when the man bucked up, hitting Harry’s prostate dead on.

“Not entirely in control, Darling.”

He wanted to bit out a snarky remark but Louis hit his prostate again and used Harry’s distraction to tune them. 

The boy hit the pillow hard but Louis swallowed his moan.

“That was fun but you’ve been in control too many times and I knew you were going beg me to fuck you soon enough.”

Harry wanted to respond but Louis started to rock his hips.

“Fuck, babe,” Louis whined. 

“L-Lou, I-I’m-” Harry cut off when the prick decided to play with his cock.  He swiped his thumb over the tip.

“You can come when you-”

“Thanks, for the permission” the younger man sassed, interrupting Louis, but being the fucker Louis was, he used his hips to turn Harry into a moaning mess.

Louis buried his face in Harry’s neck, sucking at his pulse point. 

“Don’t do that!  I don’t want to have to cover up marks tomorrow.”

Louis pulled back and rolled his eyes.  “Fine.  Consider it my gift to you for making it this far.”

“Aw th-thanks, Lo-Lou.”  He wanted to be stern but having a cock up his arse and fighting off an orgasm made talking hard.  “I’m close.”

“Oh, fuck.  Me too.”  He wrapped his had around Harry.  “Come on.”

That was all Harry needed before he felt his orgasm ripped through him.  “Oh, fuck.”

Louis didn’t last long after, coming hard.  He dropped on Harry, who just wrapped his arms around him. 

 _I love you_ , he thought as he ran his fingers over Louis heated skin.

Louis slowly pulled off and fell back with a huff.  Leaving Harry’s embrace was hard and he honestly was scared how he was slowly falling under Harry’s spell.

“Lou?”

“I’m going to get a towel.”  He stroked a piece of Harry out of Harry’s eyes before he got up.

Harry watched as the man left, still trying to catch his breath.

When he came back, he was cleaned and handed Harry the damp towel.  He took it silently as Louis slipped under the blankets.

Harry pulled the blankets over himself and moved to Louis.

Louis surprised him when he leaned down and kissed Harry softly before dropping his head on his pillow.

 “Goodnight, Styles.”

Harry smiled softly.  “Goodnight, Lou.”

Louis kissed him once more before turning over and closed his eyes, too exhausted to think what this night meant.

Harry waited until Louis’ breathing evened out.  He leaned over to make sure Louis had his eyes closed and didn’t moved when he brushed hair out of his eyes.

He quietly got out of bed, being as silent as possible as he pulled his contact case out of his jacket pocket.  If he didn’t have it on him, he would have been screwed.  He usually didn’t have it on him since he kept it in his bag but he didn’t think about taking it tonight.

He looked at his reflection for a moment.  He pulled at his hair.  Niall was right, he really should get it cut.  He liked the length.  It fit his look but it was becoming annoying with how easily it tangled.  Though glasses were easier when he was home, it was hard brushing hair out of his face and almost knocking his glasses off.  Maybe he could use the cut for a new look for the album.  Maybe the gossip articles wouldn’t see him as too girly with a normal cut.

He could ponder these ideas for hours but he was wasn’t sure if Louis would kick him out in the morning.  His gentleness tonight made him think he’d let him stay but at the same time, he didn’t know what Louis would feel tomorrow.

Stumbling in the dark room, only the moonlight guiding him to his jacket.  He slipped the case in his jacket pocket and stumbled to the window, almost tripping on his feet.  The dark and blurriness were a deadly combination.  He closed the curtains. 

Louis groaned and for a second Harry worried if he woke the man up.  He was just being paranoid. 

He loomed over Louis one last time and smiled softly.  He hoped the spell wouldn’t be broken in the morning.  He wanted to talk to Louis before the show, where there may be a chance that Louis would return his feelings.

Taking caution to the wind, feeling only stupidity because Louis was basically unconscious, he muttered the words that haunted him for years and thought that had disappeared. 

“I love you.”  

**Author's Note:**

> I am also wondering if there is a particular female judge you would like?
> 
> I know there are two female and two male judges but I wanted Harry and Louis to be rivals with their groups and you kind of can't do the X-Factor without Simon, sadly.


End file.
